1. Are you feeling insecure?

If you’re questioning whether someone is out of your league, it might stem from insecurity or self-doubt. Self-esteem plays a big role in how we perceive others. If you feel “less than” in some way, you might project that onto the other person.

2. Do you share similar interests or values?

Sometimes, people feel like others are out of their league because of differences in lifestyle, goals, or values. But if you’re both into the same things or have a strong connection, that gap may not be as wide as you think.

3. What do they value in a partner?

Think about what this person seems to prioritize in relationships. Are they the kind of person who’s into looks, social status, or superficial things, or are they more interested in kindness, humor, and genuine connection? Sometimes people “out of your league” in one aspect might not be that way in what matters.

4. Have you actually had meaningful interactions with them?

If you’ve had real conversations, gotten to know each other a bit, and they seem interested or attracted to you, then chances are they don’t see a massive “league gap.” It’s all about mutual attraction, personality, and connection.

5. Are you being authentic?

Are you trying to impress them with something you’re not? Pretending to be someone else to match an ideal can create a false perception of someone being “out of your league.” If you’re being your true self and they appreciate that, the idea of leagues becomes irrelevant.

6. Is the “league” thing in your head or theirs?

If you’re feeling like they’re out of your league but they seem to like you for who you are, then it might just be a mental barrier. If they’re actually treating you like you’re inferior, then maybe there’s a real discrepancy in terms of mutual respect or shared goals.

In the end, the whole idea of someone being “out of your league” is pretty subjective. Most successful relationships are based on connection, communication, and shared values, not how people rank each other in a hypothetical “league system.” So, if there’s mutual respect, genuine connection, and attraction, you’re probably not as far apart as you think!

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1. 1. Inability to Apologise

2. 2. Lack of Accountability

3. 3. Questionable Friends

4. 4. Shallow and Surface-Level Behaviour

5. 5. Immaturity and Crude Humour

6. 6. Excessive Pornography Use

7. 7. Difficulty Connecting or Committing

8. 8. Emotional Stagnation

Featured photo by Josh Willink by Pexels

H/T Elephant Journal

Receiving a text from your crush can set your heart racing. You eagerly grab your phone, hoping to craft the perfect response that will impress them. However, your attempts swing from overly serious to overly silly, and your crush might think you’re ignoring them. Texting with a crush is a rollercoaster of excitement and anxiety, leaving you questioning your every move.

To shed light on this nerve-wracking experience, DatingInsider shares insights on the stress associated with texting your crush and offered dos and don’ts for navigating these conversations.

The absence of physical cues in online exchanges can intensify nervousness. The fear of rejection, inherent in human nature, becomes amplified when waiting for a text response without visual or body language cues.

The pressure stems from the desire to make texts impeccably witty and cool, akin to walking a high wire rather than engaging in a lighthearted conversation.

The Dos and Don’ts of Texting Your Crush include

1. Ask Questions

Instead of monopolizing the conversation with details about yourself, express genuine interest by asking questions. Unique and thoughtful questions can make the conversation more engaging.

2. Don’t Overwhelm Them

Avoid sending excessively long messages, and don’t panic if your crush doesn’t respond immediately. Give them time, and consider taking a break to ease your anxiety.

3. Use Visuals

Incorporate emojis, pictures, memes, and voice notes to add vibrancy to the conversation. These elements can inject fun and personality, compensating for the lack of face-to-face interaction.

4. Avoid Mind Games

Be straightforward about your intentions and avoid passive-aggressive behavior. If you like someone, express it through specific compliments and honest communication.

5. Be Thoughtful

Reflect on your emotional state before sending a message. Acknowledge any tension or stress and release it before engaging in flirtatious conversations. Set clear goals for your texts.

6. Don’t Overdo it

Strike a balance between expressing interest and overwhelming your crush. Avoid excessive sympathy or sharing overly intimate thoughts too soon.

7. Have Fun

Keep in mind that texting should be an enjoyable experience. Don’t overthink it, as texting is a low-pressure form of communication. Focus on the excitement of connecting with someone you genuinely like.

8. Don’t Get Too Sexual

Keep flirtation at a G-rated or PG-rated level, especially in the early stages. Avoid sending explicit content without the other person’s consent, and respect boundaries to maintain a comfortable atmosphere.

In essence, texting your crush is a delicate dance, and while it can be nerve-wracking, keeping things light, respectful, and enjoyable is key to successful communication.

Featured photo by Pexels

1. Fear of loneliness
   
   Some individuals fear being alone or believe that being in a toxic relationship is better than being by themselves. They may worry about not finding someone else or feel a sense of comfort in having a partner, even if it’s an unhealthy relationship.
   
   
2. Low self-esteem
   
   People with low self-esteem may believe they don’t deserve better or that they won’t find someone who treats them well. They may internalize negative messages from their partner and struggle to see their own worth.
   
   
3. Financial dependence
   
   Financial considerations can be a significant factor. If one partner is financially dependent on the other, they may fear the consequences of leaving, such as a decline in their standard of living.
   
   
4. Emotional investment
   
   Over time, individuals may invest a significant amount of time and emotional energy in a relationship. This investment can make it difficult to walk away, even when the relationship becomes toxic.
   
   
5. Hope for change
   
   Some individuals stay in toxic relationships because they believe their partner will change or that the situation will improve. They may hold onto the hope that things will get better, especially if the toxic behaviour is intermittent.
   
   
6. Cultural or societal pressures
   
   Societal or cultural expectations, family pressure, or religious beliefs can play a role in individuals staying in relationships. There might be a fear of judgment or stigma associated with ending a relationship, particularly in cultures that emphasize commitment and endurance.
   
   
7. Manipulation and control
   
   In some toxic relationships, one partner may use manipulation and control tactics to keep the other person in the relationship. This can include emotional manipulation, threats, or isolation from friends and family.
   
   
8. Lack of awareness
   
   Some individuals may not fully recognize or acknowledge the toxicity of their relationship. They might downplay or rationalize the negative aspects, focusing on positive moments or making excuses for their partner’s behaviour.
   
   
9. Dependency
   
   Emotional or physical dependency on a partner can contribute to staying in a toxic relationship. This dependency might stem from a lack of self-reliance or an overreliance on the relationship for emotional well-being.

How do you exit a toxic relationship? It starts with self-awareness and finding someone or a support group that may help you exit the abusive cycle. It’s important to emphasize that staying in a toxic relationship can have serious consequences for one’s mental and emotional well-being. If you or someone you know is in a toxic relationship, seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can be crucial in facilitating positive change.

Featured photo by Claudia Wolff on Unsplash

Steve Maraboli  clarifies it beautifully;  “Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”

Read this quote as many times as you need to, for it to sink in. Losing years over a breakup; is time you can never bring back.  So, get over your ex and move on to live your life and open up to new opportunities. Dwelling on a breakup for too long will not bring back a relationship that was not meant to be. Furthermore, it will stop you from starting possibly a great new relationship. 

Moving on from someone you loved and shared a chunk of your life together is not easy or pain free. The truth is they leave a lasting impression. They once mattered, but don’t delay the healing process through denial and empty wishes. 

Do yourself a favour and delete your ex from your phone and all your social media. Accept that it is over, wish them well and move on with your life. Sometimes two people are not meant to stay together, they have a phase where they learn and grow together and once that is over so is their relationship. 

Accept the end of the relationship and embrace the new beginning. Be brave to let go and brave to accept what is coming next on your journey. Maybe is a time to enjoy being single and get to know more about yourself. Maybe you will meet your soulmate.

Whatever is next, wipe the slate clean and let in life. Experience the joy, hope and excitement of the new chapter. When you are ready to move on, new things are there for you to experience.

Featured photo by Dineslav Roydev on Unsplash

These dating trends are rendering us incapable of hard conversations. A component that is essential in any long term relationship.

Esther Perel a couples therapist, author and famous speaker, gives us a guide to communicating about love in this day and age.

Watch Esther Perel in the YouTube video below explaining the state of modering dating.

Esther makes a plea that we end our relationships with more respect and conclusiveness. We are inevitably affecting people’s sense of self-worth and destroying their sense of confidence.

Remember at the end of the text there is another human being with feelings and they don’t want their confidence shattered. They can accept that they are not the person you choose but it doesn’t mean that they can be cast aside without respect or a thought.

H/T Elephant Journal

Featured image: Unsplash

Breakups suck. They are both emotionally and psychologically demanding. It’s the reason why many people endure a bad relationship even though they know splitting up is the right call. All the signs are there that the relationship is over but we delude ourselves a little longer just because breaking up is the worse.

When you do break up, what is the best self-care routine? We came up with 5 ways to get rid of your breakup blues and navigate the post-breakup blues.

1. Cut all contact

Even if you are planning to be friends with your ex, it’s a great idea, at least in the beginning, to keep your distance. It will give you the space to re-order your thoughts and organise your fresh start.

Explain to them that you are going to block them from your social media for a while. Do not call them or text them during this vulnerable time. Once you have your new start sorted then if all parties are happy you can work on your new friendship.

If you ever feel tempted to call your ex;  have a list of friends you can call instead. Oh yeah, delete your ex’s number from your phone. Write it somewhere and the very action to look for your ex’s phone gives you enough time to think and stop yourself from calling.

2. Let your emotions out

When you split up, is perfectly normal to be sad, disappointed and heartbroken. It is important to grieve a breakup; allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come with it, it’s part of the healing process.

Have a ‘cleansing party’ with your friends. Call them over and watch some sad movie, pour out your heart to your friends and then enlist their help with getting rid of things that belong to your ex. This certainly will help you with your post-breakup blues. These little deflecting acts are key to pushing past the break-up blues.

3. Focus on you

After a relationship breakup is natural to feel lost. Rediscover yourself and start doing what you couldn’t while you were in the relationship. Take up painting, standup paddle or hiking. Focus on your passions without compromising. Do the things you always wanted to try. Create new experiences that make you feel alive and happy.

4. Take your time before getting into another relationship

When you get out of a relationship, it feels like getting into a new one will soothe the pain away. It rarely works. Give yourself time to reflect on the lessons learned and allow yourself to heal from your breakup. Think about the kind of partner you want to seek out next. What priorities and boundaries are important to you in your new relationships. 

5. Put yourself first

Breakups are hard. Do not feel guilty about being selfish and taking time for yourself. Use this time to do things that bring you joy and in time the breakup blues will dissipate and you will be ready to take on the world again. 

Featured photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

How do you know when you are in a healthy relationship? Quite simply, when you are in the ‘right’ or healthy relationship, you feel like a better version of yourself. Your partner complements your life in just the right way. You feel valued and respected at all times. When you are in a healthy relationship, you can be yourself and if there is any difference in opinion, you can discuss it openly.

What are the signs that you’re in the right relationship? Below are 6 key differences between healthy and toxic relationships.

1. You are free to pursue your hobbies and maintain friendships.

Nothing about you should change drastically because of your new relationship. Your partner should understand that pursuing outside interests is key to a healthy relationship. It’s a chance to have some ‘me’ time. If you do not get that time it can lead to sacrificing one’s identity. It’s a healthy habit to have some space to yourself.

2. When you are around your partner you are yourself

Via Giphy

In a healthy relationship, our demeanour, personality and general interaction are the same regardless who’s there. If you act differently when your partner is next to you, it’s not a good sign.

3. Power is relatively equal

In a healthy relationship, power and house chores are distributed evenly. You respect each other’s work commitments and help clean up. More important, both of you should have equal input in any decision making in the relationship.

4. You can pursue your dreams

If your partner consistently plays down your dreams, you may feel like you are not supported or understood. Which in the long run will make the relationship feel less like a partnership. Talk about your dreams and aspirations earlier in the relationship.

5. You celebrate your differences

In a toxic relationship, differences are seen as a threat to the relationship. Differences in interests, opinions are to be celebrated. Of course, difference in values may be a problem but any other difference is what will make the relationship interesting.

6. You can tell your partner when they hurt you

Arguments will happen and they aren’t necessarily a bad thing. Conflict is natural and is a sign that you can communicate openly. In a healthy relationship, you should be able to talk/discuss things that hurt you or that upset you. Talking about it leads to partners feeling they are valued, heard and understood. Not being able to discuss a misunderstanding will lead to resentment and eventually drifting you further away from each other.

H/T HuffingtonPost

Featured photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Nobody in dating history has ever said: “Dating is easy.”

The truth is, dating is probably one of the hardest and complicated things you have to navigate in life. The good thing is that you are not alone.

If you are going through some bad stuff now, it’s very likely that someone else has gone through the exact same. Thanks to social media, someone has already shared a similar experience with the world, along with some lessons learned and free advice on how to go about it.

It might be well worth checking these 6 of the best dating feeds on Instagram. For some dating advice and positive vibes to make you feel good about your dating life.

@createthelove

“Human connection specialist” and relationship expert Marl Groves uses his @createthelove Instagram feed to give encouragement on how to love yourself and others.

@notengaged

At @notengaged, Mary McCarthy reminds followers that it’s OK to be single. She shows single people that they can still live an awesome, adventurous life without being attached to someone else. There are many photos of her hand without a ring in various places around the world and her local area, driving in the point that singles can have just as much as anyone else.

@datingnotes

This is a flirty, fun and a source of inspiration for romantics at heart. At @datingotes is all about good feels.  

@al_abt_love

Wherever you are in your love life, @al_abt_love is a feed that inspires. There’s no expert advice just tons of quotes that touch on every aspect of dating and relationships to help you feel less alone with your thoughts. It’s great to know that there are others who feel the same as you.

@therealsinglelife

Real-life is not sugar-coated like it’s often presented in social media, it’s a lot scarier. The truth in RL is different from the pics you see in your social media feeds, which is why @therealsinglelife has hilarious memes and sassy quotes that are rooted in reality to the get the truth out.  Followers post their “true” stories and funny memes about being single for others to enjoy. This is truly funny and an eye-opener.  

@yoursingleshow

Humour can make a lot of things better. That’s what Laura Lane and Angela Spera are out to achieve in their Instagram feed @yoursingleshow. They offer advice that is comical and insightful too.

Dating is hard sometimes, but it can be fun also. It can be a roller coaster of highs and lows, and that’s precisely why it’s so interesting. These Instagram-feeds can help learn to enjoy the ride because there are so many people going through the same motions as you.

Main image: Pixabay

When it comes to dating, everyone has a different approach. Some people will date multiple people at one time who they know are not going to be in a relationship with. They are going with the flow, while others do an analytical breakdown of the future they can have with a prospective partner.

The difference is that some people are not looking for commitment. They are playing the field and having fun. Problem is, you are not. You want a serious relationship. You’re trying to find The ONE.

If you are looking for a committed relationship, then you want to avoid a potential partner who’s only interested in going with the flow. When they potentially see something more interesting, they move on.  Before they do move on, they leave a trail of hints and signs warning you they were not for keeps. Recognise all the signs early and avoid a broken heart. Here are some of the signs of commitment avoidance.

1. Backing out of plans last minute

You made plans for a date, but last minute you get a text saying, “Sorry! Something came up! Maybe we can reschedule?”

If your date keeps rescheduling, it may be a red flag. They might have to juggle other plans or they have a commitment phobia. They are not prepared to invest emotionally in any relationship yet.

2. They pay you no attention

Does your date not keep eye contact with you but spend more time checking their phone?
Right from the beginning, you can tell if your date is looking for a committed relationship or not. If they pay you no attention, they are obviously not interested in you. If they want to commit, they want to get to know you better and ask you reflective questions.

3. One day hot the other cold – mixed messages

They confuse you. The day before they shower you with texts messages with sweet nothings but go totally silent the next day. That’s because non-commitment types are experts at sending mixed messages. Coming on strong and then changing their levels of interest later.
It’s important to recognise this sign because you are not their number 1 but a more ‘it’ll do for now’ type.

4. They avoid labels

They definitely don’t want you to put a label on your relationship. Terms like “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” signal a level of closeness and exclusivity that they are uncomfortable with. They will avoid using these at all cost and probably respond with, “I want to take things slow.”
They are not ready for the commitment you want. Time to bring it to a close or you’re setting yourself for heartbreak.

5. They use non-committal language

Listen for vague language when talking about the near future, whether about your relationship or in general. They’ll use language like, “I might” or ” Yeah, maybe I will…” This type of language signals how much follow through they actually are willing to invest in you. They are constantly leaving their options open.
Instead what you want to hear is, “I’m going to”, “I will definitely going.”. Non-commital language signals that you are there if nothing else comes along.

Do not overlook these signs or red flags, to avoid investing time on someone who is not really interested in the same things as you. Most important avoid the heartbreak later. It sucks to get hurt and time is precious. Bite the bullet early, move on and find someone who is looking for a committed relationship like you.

H/T Hello Giggles

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