Benching is a mind game that is so frustrating

This is one of the worse and agonising things that can happen at the end of any relationship. When someone leaves without saying bye or explaining why it’s all over. Leaving the other person asking questions like; “What went wrong?” Or “What did I do?” Benching is a mind game that is so frustrating.

What is benching?

Has it happened to you, you ask?  Benching happens when someone repeatedly leaves you on a bench to wait around hoping they might choose you again. Much like in sports games, a player sits on the bench hoping they are good enough this time to play the game.

Benching is worse than ghosting

Why is it worse than ghosting? You are left in limbo, wondering if you are still on. Someone is benching you when they might want you, but they aren’t sure if they find someone better. Or they are afraid of love, or emotional commitment, so they leave you in a position where they can get back to you and be with you when they have none else around. It’s sort of like being on and off again and again. This is why benching is way worse than ghosting.

It’s a terrible dating trend

This is a terrible dating trend because you are left wondering, pondering and second-guessing when and if they will return. Seriously, if this sounds like your relationship, put a stop to it. They are not emotionally mature and available. They think they can come in and out of a relationship without explanation and if confronted will put you back on the bench because they don’t want to deal with blame, pain and shame. Every time they leave nothing is clear and everything has been left unspoken.

Move on, because you are worth a person who respects you and your feelings.  You deserve someone who wants you. Find someone who wants a meaningful connection with you and doesn’t make you feel second best. You deserve better, be good to yourself.

Featured photo by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash