These faults can be a sign of things to come. What we are talking about here are things that will cause you to be unhappy in a relationship. True that some people are good at hiding their faults, but sometimes little hints escape them.

Here are 5 signs not to ignore on your first date.

1. They are rude to service staff

Being disrespectful to waiters, for example, tells you a lot about someone. Decent people are respectful of others regardless of what they do and are never unnecessarily mean. Service staff are trying to make an honest living.

Look out for things like constantly complaining about little things, belittling, being demanding and saying hurtful things. This could be how they will treat you at a later stage in the relationship. It’s likely they will someday turn this behaviour on you. If this is not your type, then is time to not get this relationship started.

2. Deflecting answers in an attempt to hide something.

The number one reason anyone avoids answering questions is that they have something to hide. There is a number of reasons they could be doing this. They are married and do not want you to find out, they are pretending to be someone else or they are overly cautious because they don’t know you well yet.

To really know whether they are hesitating because they do not know you well enough, is to ask the same questions at a later stage and if they continue to not answer you then you have a problem.

3. They talk more than they listen 

This is a common trait of selfish people. It’s ok to talk about yourself but you have to reciprocate when it’s the other person’s time to speak about themselves and to actually listen. The whole point of dating is to get to know each other. You might be in the presence of a self-centred or even narcissist, they are unlikely to prioritise you in a relationship.

If the conversation becomes all about an ex, be weary because you are looking at someone who isn’t emotionally available yet and therefore are not a good relationship candidate.

4. They complain about everything

Be wary of someone who complains about their whole world; family, friends and job. You do not want to date a negative person. They will drag you down and what is worse you will be likely to be the next thing they complain about.

5. They make offensive jokes

If your date’s jokes upset you because they are rude or offensive; if they tell you not to be so sensitive, time to dodge the bullet. This type of person has no regard for your feelings and opinions; continuing to date them will lead to misery.

First dates are nerve-racking, if you noticed one or two signs of concern but you still had a good time, you might want to go on a second date. However, if you felt uncomfortable and didn’t enjoy their company, trust your gut feeling and move on. 

Leave you this good quote:

“The best dating advice I’ve gotten was: The signs you ignore in the beginning just end up being the reason you leave later. You know right away who’s good and who’s bad for you. Don’t ignore that.”

Sourced: ifunny

Featured Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

First dates are really important, it’s all about making the right impression and it’s really scary because things could go wrong or not. First dates are probably one of the most terrifying things we do. Do you know what is even more important on a first date? Is to find out as much as you can about the person you’re out with. It might seem awkward at first and this is why we’re thought of 6 questions that might get you started. 6 questions you should ask on your first date…

What do you ask someone you are dating for the first time? Here are 6 questions you should ask on your first date because the answers to them can be quite revealing.

1. Ask about their beliefs/values and priorities

It doesn’t have to be anything too serious. It could be questions on the line of; ‘ What do you like to do, how do you spend your time, what makes you happy?’ If you like, they can be more in-depth questions but maybe save them for another date.

The answers to these questions should tell you quite a lot about the person you’re on a date with. True compatibility comes in matching values, beliefs and priorities mixed with chemistry.

2. Ask them how they spend their weekend

Finding out how they spend their free time or busy time, will help you find out about their interests, priorities and socialisation habits. All are important to find out about to decide whether you are compatible or not. If they are an outdoor type of person who likes to spend time fishing, surfing and kayaking. You, on the other hand, like to chill and binge-watch Netflix. This could become a problem…

3. Ask about their regrets

By sharing embarrassing moments and regrets, the other person becomes more vulnerable and this is a way to build intimacy. Intimacy is a key player in a long and lasting relationship.

4. Ask them if they make their bed every morning

If you are a neat freak this is going to matter because nobody wants to be picking up after the other person. How they answer will give you insight into their need to have order, organisation. It also tells you whether they are a morning person or not.

5. Ask about their worse date 

Hopefully, you won’t hear- “This is the worst date I’ve been on”. Otherwise, this question can lead to a few laughs and it’ll give you an indication whether they have a good sense of humour. Being able to laugh at life and its many awkward moments is really important. We have all experienced a terrible first date and on the hindsight, they are hilarious when you re-tell them. They make for great ice-breakers too.

6. Ask about their family

This question will tell who they are closets within their family or if they are close at all. It might reveal whether relationships are important to them or not.

Hopefully, these questions will give you enough o work with on your next first date and maybe help you find your perfect match. Good luck.

Featured photo by Korney Violin on Unsplash

H/T HelloGiggles

There are definitely foods you should not order on your first date. Think about it, you’ve spent over an hour deciding what to wear, tried out countless numbers of outfits, took two hours to do your hair because you want to look perfect. There are 8 foods you should not order on your first date.

So, why would you sabotage all this initial effort with your poor food choice? You’ve spent the last 3 hours getting doll up to make that first lasting impression. You definitely don’t want to order something that will give you bad breath, jack-o-lantern smile or splash your outfit.

Not saying that once you get to know each other you can’t go for that type of food, but not on your first date.

Here are 15 foods, no matter how delicious it is, you should not order on your first date.

1. Ribs

Oh yes, delicious but messy. This is just impossible to eat without bringing on caveman vibes. Holding those ribs in your hands and bitting into that meat and tearing it from the bone is nothing more satisfying, but way too risky for your first date. Do not order ribs.

2. Garlic

You’re thinking, but garlic is the ingredient that makes food so tasty. Yes and yes. Garlic adds so much to any dish and it adds garlic breath to your mouth. If you’re holding out for that first kiss, hold out on garlic too. Sad but for a worthy cause, right. Make that first kiss memorable in a good way.

3. Spaghetti

Good old favourite, spaghetti. Your first love in the culinary world and it takes you back to your childhood happy memories. Those happy memories will quickly reveal how messy eating spaghetti can be. Spaghetti is not easy to eat, not without some slurping and splashing. It’s dangerous and risky to order on your first date, maybe at a later stage on the courting. Maybe you’ll be safer ordering a gnocchi.

4. Picking the most expensive item in the menu

That can be a bold move. It can be perceived as rude unless you’re going Dutch or splitting the bill. Then you can have whatever your heart desires. If you expect your date to pick up the bill then you must be considered. You do not know their financial situation.

5. Spicy food

Don’t want to say first dates are without any flavour but too much flavour will have your body do undesired things in response. Who wants to take that risk on their first date. Sweating profusely is not the desired outcome on your first date.

6. Beans

Beans are healthy and full of fibre. If you choose to ignore that bean song every child knows, you might head into trouble. Not exactly sexy on your first date.

7. Massive burger

As delicious as they are, just picture how one goes about eating a burger. Not really neat. First, you have to open that mouth wide enough to bit into it. Then on your first bite, there’s sauce dripping everywhere and fall of the filling begins to escape the bun. Just too messy.

8. Trying something new

You are an adventurous eater and we admire you for it, but maybe not on your first date. Too much at stake here. Raw food or anything exotic. What if it all doesn’t agree with you? Spending your first date bringing you food back up is not what romance is all about.

On your first date is wise to keep your food simple and easy to eat. Afterall, your first date is so much more than the food experience.

feature pic: tenor

What questions should you ask on a first date? Without sounding too serious, too boring or too calculative?

When it comes to first dates, it is important to keep things balanced, not too serious or too casual. You are out to have fun but also to decide whether you want to open your world to this individual and whether they are worth it.

Some people will tell you to move away heated topics such as politics, religion, finances or talking about past relationships. Eventually, these are the hard conversations that will eventuate and how they react to them will give you another glimpse at how well you will fare together.

So what are the questions for your first date? That’s a good question.

Really, it boils down to you and your date. Gauge them as you go and see what you can ask along the way. Essentially, if your dates religious inclinations are of utmost importance to you even on that very first date, then don’t hold back and ask the question, but maybe not in the very first 5 minutes. Give yourself time to enjoy the surroundings, the food and the drinks and then ask.

Ask about their priorities and values

One very important question to ask is, however, one in regards to values and priorities. Having chemistry is great, but being compatible accentuates chemistry. Ask simple questions like, ‘what do you like to do, how do you spend your time, what makes you happy?’. Find out in the beginning that you actually like the same things or some of them because spending time doing something you do not like or are not into, is awful. When you like the same things you will spend time doing things you like together. When you share experiences that you both enjoy, these experiences bring you closer together.

Ask them how they spend their weekends

This is a great question to ask because the answer will let you know what their interests are. Whether they have hobbies and what kind of passions they have. They might like to go hiking or mountain climbing, things you like too. Having similar interests will make you more compatible. Or you both like to go camping and enjoy road trips. Obviously, there will be things you will like to do on your own or with your close friends. Which is also quite normal and healthy. But when you are together you do things you both enjoy which builds happy memories bonding you together.

Ask about their regrets

By sharing embarrassing moments and regrets they will tell you about their moral compass and also about experiences they’ve learnt from. They are individuals who have a standard and hopefully one that is compatible with yours. When relating their mishaps they become vulnerable a way to build intimacy. Building intimacy is important to a lasting relationship.

Ask about their very worst date

Hopefully, they don’t say ‘this one’. Humour is always a great ice-breaker but it also lets you know if you have the same kind of sense of humour. Like they say, couple that laugh together stay together.

Hope that these question will help you navigate through your first date and make it less awkward. More important, hoping that these questions help you figure out if the person you just met is someone you like to spend time with.

The first date pleasantries vortex

If you’re like me, small talk will make you feel like taking the steak knife from the table between you and ramming it straight into your own eyeball. Of course, you’re going to spend a bit of time swapping general niceties: Where you work, if you have kids, the usual, boring, getting-to-know-you business. After that, you can manoeuvre the conversation forward toward more interesting subject matter. This will begin to determine whether or not you might be truly compatible. The difficulty here is knowing what to say, as well as combating and embracing silences.

One way to avoid the dreaded awkward pause is to prepare some topics beforehand. You don’t have to memorise a whole script, but feeling prepared and having a few ideas ready can help to calm your nerves. If you often find yourself floundering for something to say, take it a step further and bring cards with topics or questions on them.

A friend of mine did this on his first date with his now fiancé (tried and tested folks). He simply placed the cards face down on the table for any potential lull in the conversation. Although they turned out to have enough to say to each other without them, it created a sense of intrigue and was a cute icebreaker (plus, she was dying to know what was on them!).

The endless void of self-aggrandising bullsh*t

We’ve all been here, right? It’s been 30 minutes and your date and their seemingly endless lung capacity have just babbled you into a boredom coma. You struggle to resist rolling your eyes into the fourth dimension. Yet they continue to dribble on about nothing but themselves and their myriad of accomplishments. An endless sermon of me, me, me. Barney Stinson called, he wants his personality back.

Beware of: The classic ‘humblebrag’, those ostensibly modest statements that are sneakily used to undermine you. “Oh, you’re a school teacher! How fascinating. I once fed 12 starving children by regurgitating my food directly into their mouths, but that was nothing.” Please stop shooting me in the face with a semi-automatic loaded with your own sense of self-importance.

There is not a lot that can be done to redeem a date with narcissus incarnate. This tends to be a lost cause, but here a couple of ways to deal with the situation.

1. Leave. BYE. Nobody has time for that.
2. Start talking about your cats, it doesn’t matter if you don’t have any, invent 12! Give them personalities and painfully cute names. Live the dream.
3. Drink heavily, make them pay.
4. Try to outdo their self-obsessed diatribe with your own outlandish achievements. You, rescued a puppy from under a car? Well, I flossed without bleeding this morning. Checkmate.

I want to order real food, but not seem like a fat sh*t

As I mentioned in a previous article my partner was never more beautiful to me than when I watched him devour a burger like his life depended on it. If your date is turned off by you getting down and dirty with a plate of meat and potatoes, how are they going to feel about seeing you in your underwear, watching Netflix and shoveling Doritos into your mouth by the handful?

Order those ribs! Smear them all over your face! You do you, you glorious bastard.

Help! My date seems to have glued their phone to their hand because they WON’T PUT IT DOWN.

This is just plain rude and gives you full licence to be as weird as you like until they put their goddamn phone down.

It is not a difficult concept. Put. Your. Phone. Away. We have become so dependent on connectivity and instant gratification that we sometimes forget to experience our actual lives. There is a real, tangible human being sitting right in front of you, talk to them!

This can be combatted by stating at the beginning of the date a ‘phones away’ rule, or a ‘phones in the middle of the table rule’. Make it fun, perhaps they have to buy you shots every time they pick up their phone, or whoever touches their phone first pays the bill. If they really won’t put it down, just send them a text that says ‘Bye, b**ch’, and go do something more entertaining like staring at a brick wall.

Why are they so obsessed with their ex?

The age-old question, ‘it is okay to talk about your ex on a first date?’ It’s not a 100% taboo subject, nobody is pretending that they’ve never been on another date before. But it’s a warning signal when your date talks non-stop about ‘crazy’ exes. It tends to indicate that they can’t accept responsibility for their own failures. Red flags baby, red flags everywhere. The way a person speaks about others is a great indication of their character. Talking smack about exes (particularly to someone you have just met) can make you appear like a magnet for drama.

Showing up late

A little lateness can be forgiven. We get it, traffic can be hell, trains delayed, got stuck at work, whatever. But please, for the love of god, just call and let them know, or send a text one of the multitudes of platforms we have to contact each other. It’s not a difficult concept, just show up on time, or at least within a reasonable period of lateness. If you know you’re going to be pressed for time, maybe push the date back a half hour in advance. Most importantly, if you decide you no longer want to go on the date (which is your prerogative) just TELL THEM.

The honestly policy

There is a fine line with honesty on a first date. While we want to be upfront with our date as much as possible, we also need to find ways to do so without hurting their feelings. Here are some handy Do’s and Don’ts

DO:

Mention if you’re a vegetarian/vegan/coeliac/recovering alcoholic before the date.

Be upfront about what you are looking for.

Tell them about the things that you are passionate about.

Have the courage to call it a night if it’s really not working about (but don’t be a d*ck about it)

DON’T

Tell them that you were expecting them to be better looking.

Make comments about their weight.

Put them down for what they believe in (Sometimes you’re just not compatible, but that’s no reason to be rude).

Hide your true self. You have to embrace your weird hobbies. If they don’t approve of them on the first date, they aren’t going to approve of them on the 5^th or 100^th date either.

WHO IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS

Let’s just forget about those painful old gender stereotypes for a second. Unless you’re an entitled a**hole, you should at least OFFER to split the bill (even if you know they will refuse), especially if you ate/drank more than your date.

If you decide to split the bill, don’t be a penny-pincher. Counting the cents only makes you seem pedantic, just split that bad boy down the middle. The exception to this being if one of you has ordered far more extravagantly, then it’s that person’s responsibility to pay for their lavish meal. If you’re on a tight budget, mention it beforehand, use your words!

Big ol’ red flags

• Staff rudeness. If your date is rude to the waiter or staff wherever you are, your date is a jerk.
• Chewing with your mouth open. I didn’t ask for Seafood, this is not dinner and a show.
• Bringing parents along. I can’t believe this one is even getting a mention. In my research, for this article, I was ASTOUNDED by the number of stories about people bringing their parent’s on their date. What?!? No!!
• Hygiene. Hygiene. Hygiene. If they have not even taken the time to shower for your date, do you think they are going to put any effort into cleanliness in the rest of their life?
• Asking about how much money you make/your financial security. Unless you’re seeking a sugar relationship, that is nobody’s business on your first date.
• Getting too clingy too fast. Don’t Ted Mosby your poor date.

Hopefully, these tips can help you avoid a disaster of a first date, or at least recognise it while it is happening. If you still have a terrible first date, that’s okay! Go home and high five yourself and your 12 imaginary cats for being single.

1. Consider Your Venue

If you’re meeting at a bar for the date, you probably shouldn’t rock up in a tuxedo or ball gown, right? It’s obviously important to suss out the venue. If you’ve never been there before or don’t know a whole lot about it, check out their website and see if they’ve got any pictures of other people that have been there for events or just to get an idea of how fancy it is and the usual standard of dress.

2. Dress for the Hour

Are you meeting for brunch? Would you go to brunch in a pair of 6-inch stilettos if you were going out with girlfriends? Alternatively, if you’re meeting for a post-dinner drink, would you rock up in a pair of thongs and denim shorts? Dressing appropriately for the time of day is just as important as considering the venue. You’ll stick out for all the wrong reasons if you don’t.

3. Do ‘You’

You want to be comfortable on the date, so just do you! There’s nothing wrong with wanting to put your best foot forward and make an impression by looking good and smelling nice, but don’t overdo it and definitely don’t wear something that you usually wouldn’t. It will make you feel even more nervous and anxious, and you won’t look super confident if you spend half the night tugging at your clothes.

Have you ever heard of the term, ‘safe call’? It has its roots in the kink realm and now is used in the dating world.

The idea behind it is to take precautionary steps before you go on a first date or hookup. Because you just don’t really know who you are meeting.

Here are the precautionary steps you take to minimise possible risks and to keep safe. The majority of people are genuine and just want to meet someone they can enjoy themselves with.

Let’s take a look at safe calls, how they work and how you can make them work to help keep you safe when you’re meeting new people.

1. Call your designated ‘safe call’ friend for the night.

The important point to remember here is to call your friend and not text. Why? Hearing your voice and tone will reassure your friend that you are safe. Leaving your friend any notion of suspicion and also allowing them to continue to enjoy their night too, or the very least relax.

2. What to say when you make that ‘safe call’

1 – Include information of your location.

2- Describe the person you are with – age, ethnicity, and if you have exchanged phone numbers include that too.

3- Send your their social media profile links, this is particularly clever because your friend can quickly do a cursory background check.

4 – Take a selfie so your friend has a record of what you are wearing and where you are. You could also ask your date to take a selfie with you too.

3. Why do you need ‘safe call’

Your safety is number one priority. To take measures to stay safe is inevitably a great idea to all involved. It’s unfortunate we need to worry but better safe than sorry. The majority of people are genuine and have no intentions of foul play. Therefore you should always meet somewhere public, meeting someone in public first isn’t just safer, it also gives you a better idea of who they are.

4. Who should be your safe call

A friend or family who cares for your safety and who is responsible. Someone who will check on you and if you were not to respond calls the police. In addition, there are apps out there that have been purposefully designed for hookups safety. bsafe and Emergensee are two examples. The app even has its own security team that will contact police and ensure you get help fast.

5. What should the nominated ‘safe caller’ do, when you do not contact them

This special friend will call the police when you fail to contact them.So set a reminder to call your friend so they stop worrying and unnecessarily call the police.

5. When you feel safe – have fun

Now relax, take the time to do what you both set out to do. Have fun and enjoy each others’ company.

Of course, the vast majority of people out there are actually decent honest folks, but clearly, it is still a good idea to take some basic steps to ensure your safety.

Probably the most important piece of advice anyone can give you is that you should trust your instinct.

Be safe, stay safe and have fun.

What strategies do you use? Share with the rest of us.

The old-fashioned code of ‘wait till the third date’ is an archaic notion, not suited to today’s dating world.

Related reading: How to nail your first date

Let’s be realistic, why date? Is it not to find a new partner you want to be intimate with? Of course, there are also all the other relationship factors, but sexual compatibility is a big deal. In many cases, it’s the deal breaker when libidos and compatibility are out of sync.

So why not find out straight from the beginning if you have matching libidos, or are truly compatible? That said, this should also not be the rule of thumb, do and act the way that you feel more comfortable. If sleeping with your new date on the first date is something you are comfortable doing, then just do so. If not, go at your own pace. In dating, there is no one-fits-all approach.

If your date ends in a healthy romp, here are 6 reasons why first date sex is a good idea:

1. Find out what you are working with

Now that you know your new date is funny and likes a lot of things you do. Let’s find out if you are compatible in the bedroom.
Yes, sometimes your first intimate encounter is not the best, but at least you get some idea what to work with. Absolutely go for second and third rounds and if there was no improvement and your buttons haven’t been pressed the way you like it. Time to make a few reassessments.

2. Check their boudoir

There so much you can learn about your first date just by walking into their bedroom. Are they messy or tidy? Do they have good taste in furniture and home decor? Do they have a nice bathroom with nice shampoo and a clean toothbrush just for you? How about snacks, yeah, after a good roll in the hay you are going to get hungry. All of these small but important details matter. Did you find yourself a keeper?

3. Moment of truth

First dates can be really awkward. Once you get naked and all the truth lays there for all to see, you can finally relax and just be yourself. And if they didn’t run the moment they saw you naked means they like you through and through. Since you are both letting your guards down, it’s a great time to judge whether you like this person for who they really are.

4. Drop the game

The good thing about getting intimate on your first date is that all the ‘courting’ games come to an end. The weird, awkward phase is out of the way and you are comfortable being naked. With the games out of the way, the subsequent meets will only get better. If both of you had fun, you might have found someone for a possible relationship or a f*ck buddy. Either way, it’s you’re winning.

5. Sometimes it blows in your face

Sometimes, you have to deal all too soon with the inevitable incompatibility. Hard but better early than numerous dates later. Ghosting is a modern dating thing that unfortunately happens. These people make you wait and make you doubt yourself, but the flip side to this is – at least you know they are not the ones for you.

6. It’s good for your health

Sex feels good and is good for you. So don’t beat yourself about it. Whether you had sex on a first date or a few dates later, making yourself feel good is nothing to feel ashamed of.

No matter how it all turns out in the long run, what matters is that you wanted to do this in the first place. Being intimate with someone on the first date is definitely a good idea.

“Oh god, not another first date article. This is the 20th one I’ve read online this week.”

I’m right there with you. I’m tired of seeing generic first date tips such as “be positive, be yourself, and be nice to the wait staff.”

You met on RHP, so what you’re most likely looking for is how to set the mood for what’s to come next … How to nail your first date is not as hard as you think, but is all about small detail.

Let’s talk about some actually useful tips for a first date.

Get closer

There are different levels of personal space. As you get physically closer to someone, it feels more and more intimate for the both of you. When a woman accepts you being in her close, personal space, she will subconsciously feel more comfortable around you. That comfort then paves the way for attraction.
Sit next to her at dinner or drinks rather than across the table. Whenever you’re sitting together (on a bench, on the ground, in a cab) position yourself so that your bodies are touching or nearly touching.
The worst thing you can do is maintain an awkward distance from her. This can actually cause feelings of unfamiliarity and defensiveness.

If you treat her like a stranger, she’s going to feel like a stranger.

Stop trying to prove yourself

So you’ve got a date with a beautiful woman. You’re thinking, “How do I win her over? How do I convince her I’m good enough? How do I not fuck this up?”

If that’s your thought process, you’ve already lost. Your desperate mindset will be painfully obvious: you’ll be timid, put her on a pedestal, and pay her excessive compliments.

Keep in mind that she’s also on RHP, and she chose to go on a date with you, so she’s already open to being romantic.

Your mindset should be:

“Who is she? What does she like? What are her fantasies? Is she worth my time, energy, and investment?”

This involves speaking less and listening more. Slow down. Let her do most of the talking and take the pressure off of yourself. Ask more direct questions that help you screen for the qualities you desire in a woman.

Use the environment to your advantage

Don’t just go for dinner or coffee because it’s “what people do”. In fact, those venues can be a sure way to put you in the friend zone.

Do something you’ll actually enjoy and that helps the date go smoothly. Bonus points if it’s a shared commonality.
You should pick something that creates a sense of fun or adventure. Anything that makes you laugh or generates positive emotions will alleviate nervous tension.

Examples: arcade, go-karts, dancing, comedy show

Move with her

You want to lead a woman on an experience with you throughout the date. Don’t start and end the date in the same venue.

There are three important reasons for changing venues. It…

1. Creates a memorable adventure. Different settings and activities makes it feel like you spent more time together than you actually did. She’s also more likely to remember this special journey with you.

2. Gets her to invest in you. We place a higher value on things we invest in. If she accepts your lead, she’ll feel more trusting and comfortable with you.

3. Allows for more privacy and intimacy. You’re probably not going to kiss her or talk about personal subjects at the coffee club with 20 people around.

Have her accept her feelings for you

You’re on a DATE with a girl and you want a romantic connection, right? For that to happen, the girl needs to accept you as a potential intimate partner. She needs to admit to you and to herself that she sees you that way.

Do this by getting her to show interest in you or return your flirtatious advances. This can be though spoken or non-spoken cues. But you need to lead it there by flirting first.

• Give her a seductive look. Prolonged eye contact, devilish smirks, and biting your lip show your intentions. If she returns these non-verbal cues, it’s on.

• Pay her a bold compliment. Saying something like, “Are you always this cute?” or “I think it’s sexy you’re so dedicated to your career.”  If she accepts them or returns a compliment, “Yeah, are you always that handsome in a polo?” or “Well I think it’s sexy you just said that.”, she’s returning that interest.

• Roleplaying and discussing the future (playfully). Making lighthearted statements about you two being together after the date can cement things in her mind. This also removes the feeling of you as strangers. You can jokingly talk about your upcoming vacation plans together, her being your new legal secretary, or even getting married in Vegas.

• Get into more intimate topics. When she’s talking about sex with you, that means she’s thinking about sex – maybe with you. Don’t be afraid to ask more forward questions.

You can segue into it with, “Now that we’ve been getting to know each other, tell me something I don’t know…” Or “It may be the drinks but I want to ask you something personal.” Then you go into, “So what do you find most attractive in a man?” or “What’s something that secretly turns you on?”

• Accuse her of liking you. “Aww, you must really like me…” Or “You’re definitely hitting on me right now.” She’s into you if she responds with something like, “Maybe I do ;)” Or “Only a little.”

However, one of the most concrete ways to secure her interest in you is…

Go for a kiss, damn it — sometimes twice

This one point will greatly influence your success rate. The kiss is the gateway for a wild night. Check out my article about how to be a great kisser.

Create physical contact early and often. If she’s receptive (positive, smiling, still engaged in conversation) increase the intimacy of the touches.

If you’ve made it at least halfway through a date and she’s still having fun – assume she’s ready for a kiss. You don’t need to wait for a blatant signal because most women will never give it to you. And please don’t wait until the very last minute, it will spoil the surprise.

You can do this anywhere. While sitting next to her, while standing together, or even while walking. Here’s how…
Wherever you are, stop talking. You can even get her attention by softly saying, “Come here” or “Sshhh…” Look her deep in the eyes for a few seconds. You want her to gaze back into yours.

Then either step towards her or bring her into you. Pull her in by the hand or by the waist. Move in slowly and kiss her.

Don’t rush any of this. Take your time. Looking into her eyes and moving in slowly lets her realize you’re going in for a kiss. It gives her a chance to accept or deny your advance.

If you get a positive response, the romantic barrier is broken. You can keep kissing her periodically throughout the date and see where things go. With a strong negative response, you shouldn’t try to kiss her again – at least on this date.

Follow these tips and you have high chance of nailing your first DateFinder date, and any future dates you make on RHP.

Some of us enjoy first dates more than others but the flutter felt when our potential love interest enters the bar, or when we hear the sound of that unfamiliar car pulling up, is universal.

Here are some simple tips that you can apply to your first day to make it rock for both of you!

1. MAKE AN EFFORT (A BLOW-DRY DOESN’T COUNT)

It’s one thing to glam up for a date. But it’s another thing to sprinkle a bit of rouge on your perspective, too. Instead of thinking, “ugh — another first date!” you can think, “I get to meet someone new tonight who is making an effort to get to know me.” Attitude is everything. If you align the effort you go to in order to look great with a sincere effort to feel great, you’re already a step ahead.

2. DROP EXPECTATIONS

It’s astounding how many women let really decent men go for superficial reasons such as, “he hasn’t been to Europe” or “he says ‘but’ at the end of his sentences.” It’s important to choose your deal-breakers wisely. My husband visited Europe for the first time with me and it was magical — I loved showing him the parts that I knew. A good friend of mine playfully teases her boyfriend about incorrect use of the word “but”.

The most important thing about your date is his character. Is he kind, honest, loyal? Zone in on those qualities — the kind that are important in a friend. Don’t let a laundry list of expectations ruin what could be very promising potential. I tell my clients they are allowed three non-negotiables. Yes, only three. For example, “tall, sporty, funny,” or “affectionate, ambitious, loves family.” Consider your three and be open to everything else.
“But he tried to shovel raw salmon in my mouth” is not a superficial reason. This is just weird.

3. ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

There is nothing sexier than someone who can “bring the party” wherever they go. Positivity begets positivity. A happy disposition is tres hot! How much more attractive is the friend or colleague who can laugh with you when you break a wine glass or spill your soup? This applies to dates, too! No matter what, never, ever, ever complain or criticise. Is the bartender really slow or the food average? Just be patient and then only eat a little. Nitpicking is not alluring on any level. Be easy to be with.

4. CONSIDER THE VENUE

If you have a say in the venue, suggest a place that’s lively but where you know you can definitely get a seat (and where the service is decent). There’s nothing worse than both of your eyes darting around for the first 20 minutes of the date, hoping for a table to open up. The background buzz adds ambience and you can relax knowing you’ll have a drink in your hand and an appetiser on the table.

5. KEEP IT LIGHT

On one of my first dates the young man launched into a story about his very manipulative ex-girlfriend just 30 minutes in. This topic (and tone!) left zero opportunity for a romantic connection. Hey, I’ve suffered too — I have been divorced. It’s not fun. But a first date IS meant to be fun! Leave the deeper stuff for later. Just allow the first date to be about chemistry and compatibility. Focus on any topics that you might have in common (skiing, career, a love of Thailand). Avoid anything divisive or polarising (politics, religion, feminism). It’s only the first date!

6. ASK QUESTIONS

Sometimes we just want to impress and so over-talk. Sometimes we feel shy and speak little to avoid saying the wrong thing. Everyone has a story/lesson to share and people instinctively like to talk about themselves. So ask questions. This is the single best tip for an easy, fun date. Questions like, “what’s your favourite thing to do at the weekend?” or “where is your number one place to go to on holiday?” are great, light questions.

Also — even if someone does not work out for you romantically, who is to say that a friendship is out of the picture? You can learn something and like something from everyone you meet, especially if you adhere to Rule #2.

7. SHOUT A LITTLE SOMETHIN’

Chivalry is very much alive and I believe that men like to pay for a first date (unless it’s totally clear there is no connection in which case going Dutch is fine). As a woman I still like to pick up the tab for something — a cocktail, a cab, a coffee. It shows generosity and consideration.

If your date doesn’t have much disposable income you can suggest an inexpensive date — going for a latte and a walk or a takeaway lunch in the park.

8. ALLOW A LITTLE MYSTERY

Don’t launch into a chronology of your life. In this respect, a first date is definitely NOT a job interview. It’s boring for someone meeting you for the first time. Just share snippets of some of the most interesting parts of your life. There will be plenty of time to get into details later.

Also, be sure that you end the date. You can say something like, “This has been awesome, Josh! Thanks for a lovely evening. I have a really busy day tomorrow so I should probably let you go.” It’s good to leave him wanting more of you.
And it goes without saying: Don’t get pregnant.

9. MANNERS, MADAM!

Be very appreciative. Be overt in thanking your date for planning the date/treating you to dinner/whatever it is that he has taken care of.

10. WATCH YOUR WINE

Sometimes our nerves can get the better of us and we drink too much during a first date. Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker in Los Angeles says stick to a two-drink maximum. I support this rule and have screwed up in the past when I have drank too much. You want to be poised, in control (and remember the entire date)!

Source: news.com.au

What makes a great first date for you?? Let us know below!