1. 1. Inability to Apologise

2. 2. Lack of Accountability

3. 3. Questionable Friends

4. 4. Shallow and Surface-Level Behaviour

5. 5. Immaturity and Crude Humour

6. 6. Excessive Pornography Use

7. 7. Difficulty Connecting or Committing

8. 8. Emotional Stagnation

Featured photo by Josh Willink by Pexels

H/T Elephant Journal

These faults can be a sign of things to come. What we are talking about here are things that will cause you to be unhappy in a relationship. True that some people are good at hiding their faults, but sometimes little hints escape them.

Here are 5 signs not to ignore on your first date.

1. They are rude to service staff

Being disrespectful to waiters, for example, tells you a lot about someone. Decent people are respectful of others regardless of what they do and are never unnecessarily mean. Service staff are trying to make an honest living.

Look out for things like constantly complaining about little things, belittling, being demanding and saying hurtful things. This could be how they will treat you at a later stage in the relationship. It’s likely they will someday turn this behaviour on you. If this is not your type, then is time to not get this relationship started.

2. Deflecting answers in an attempt to hide something.

The number one reason anyone avoids answering questions is that they have something to hide. There is a number of reasons they could be doing this. They are married and do not want you to find out, they are pretending to be someone else or they are overly cautious because they don’t know you well yet.

To really know whether they are hesitating because they do not know you well enough, is to ask the same questions at a later stage and if they continue to not answer you then you have a problem.

3. They talk more than they listen 

This is a common trait of selfish people. It’s ok to talk about yourself but you have to reciprocate when it’s the other person’s time to speak about themselves and to actually listen. The whole point of dating is to get to know each other. You might be in the presence of a self-centred or even narcissist, they are unlikely to prioritise you in a relationship.

If the conversation becomes all about an ex, be weary because you are looking at someone who isn’t emotionally available yet and therefore are not a good relationship candidate.

4. They complain about everything

Be wary of someone who complains about their whole world; family, friends and job. You do not want to date a negative person. They will drag you down and what is worse you will be likely to be the next thing they complain about.

5. They make offensive jokes

If your date’s jokes upset you because they are rude or offensive; if they tell you not to be so sensitive, time to dodge the bullet. This type of person has no regard for your feelings and opinions; continuing to date them will lead to misery.

First dates are nerve-racking, if you noticed one or two signs of concern but you still had a good time, you might want to go on a second date. However, if you felt uncomfortable and didn’t enjoy their company, trust your gut feeling and move on. 

Leave you this good quote:

“The best dating advice I’ve gotten was: The signs you ignore in the beginning just end up being the reason you leave later. You know right away who’s good and who’s bad for you. Don’t ignore that.”

Sourced: ifunny

Featured Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

When it comes to dating, everyone has a different approach. Some people will date multiple people at one time who they know are not going to be in a relationship with. They are going with the flow, while others do an analytical breakdown of the future they can have with a prospective partner.

The difference is that some people are not looking for commitment. They are playing the field and having fun. Problem is, you are not. You want a serious relationship. You’re trying to find The ONE.

If you are looking for a committed relationship, then you want to avoid a potential partner who’s only interested in going with the flow. When they potentially see something more interesting, they move on.  Before they do move on, they leave a trail of hints and signs warning you they were not for keeps. Recognise all the signs early and avoid a broken heart. Here are some of the signs of commitment avoidance.

1. Backing out of plans last minute

You made plans for a date, but last minute you get a text saying, “Sorry! Something came up! Maybe we can reschedule?”

If your date keeps rescheduling, it may be a red flag. They might have to juggle other plans or they have a commitment phobia. They are not prepared to invest emotionally in any relationship yet.

2. They pay you no attention

Does your date not keep eye contact with you but spend more time checking their phone?
Right from the beginning, you can tell if your date is looking for a committed relationship or not. If they pay you no attention, they are obviously not interested in you. If they want to commit, they want to get to know you better and ask you reflective questions.

3. One day hot the other cold – mixed messages

They confuse you. The day before they shower you with texts messages with sweet nothings but go totally silent the next day. That’s because non-commitment types are experts at sending mixed messages. Coming on strong and then changing their levels of interest later.
It’s important to recognise this sign because you are not their number 1 but a more ‘it’ll do for now’ type.

4. They avoid labels

They definitely don’t want you to put a label on your relationship. Terms like “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” signal a level of closeness and exclusivity that they are uncomfortable with. They will avoid using these at all cost and probably respond with, “I want to take things slow.”
They are not ready for the commitment you want. Time to bring it to a close or you’re setting yourself for heartbreak.

5. They use non-committal language

Listen for vague language when talking about the near future, whether about your relationship or in general. They’ll use language like, “I might” or ” Yeah, maybe I will…” This type of language signals how much follow through they actually are willing to invest in you. They are constantly leaving their options open.
Instead what you want to hear is, “I’m going to”, “I will definitely going.”. Non-commital language signals that you are there if nothing else comes along.

Do not overlook these signs or red flags, to avoid investing time on someone who is not really interested in the same things as you. Most important avoid the heartbreak later. It sucks to get hurt and time is precious. Bite the bullet early, move on and find someone who is looking for a committed relationship like you.

H/T Hello Giggles

Main Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

Whatever the situation might be, you’ve found yourself in a man’s home. Maybe you’ve been on a successful date and you’ve made it back to his place. If you both play your cards right, it might be a one-way ticket to bang-town. Here are 10 Red Flags in his home that indicate you should walk right back out the door.

1. Clothes all over the floor or bed.

How am I supposed to get jiggy while surrounded by your dirty socks? That’s NASTY. This show that they seemingly can’t set in place a hierarchy of priorities for organising their life. If they haven’t taken a few moments to at least hide their mess to impress you, it might be an indicator that they won’t make much effort in the rest of their life either.

2. Piles of dirty dishes (bonus points for mould)

A few dirty dishes is acceptable, we know you’re not a robot. But if you’ve planned to have a lady at your place, and there is a weeks’ (or more!) worth of dishes piled in your kitchen (or worse, through the rest of the house) this illustrates that you can’t look after yourself properly. If there is mouldy or smelly food, that’s when it moves from ‘gross’, to ‘health hazard’.

3. A bad smell

If your house smells, I am OUT. Where is it coming from? Did something die in here? Have you not taken out the trash in a month? Stop.

4. Bed with no cover/stains

An un-unmade bed can be forgiven, however, if you’ve got super old or dirty pillows, just a doona/duvet with no cover, possibly stained. Crumbs or food in the bed are an additional warning bell. You don’t want to be picking food out of your hair after a love-making session. If there are used tissues or crusty socks in there, RUN.

It doesn’t cost much to grab a nice cover for your bed from Kmart or target.

5. Decor

Things like:

No lamps: Come on, we need some mood lighting here.

Not a single book in the house: To quote John Waters: ‘If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t f*ck them’.

Posters of naked women: Is this a teenage boy’s room? Blu-tacked posters of extremely photoshopped women with fake tits do not make me feel sexy or inclined to have sex with you. Get some art.

6. Signs of pet neglect

This can include things such as:

Unclean litter boxes

Matted fur

Smell of urine

Fur everywhere

Pet faeces

This is not only a red flag for the house but a red flag for the poor neglected animal. Anyone who cannot look after their own pet definitely does not have their priorities in order.

7. Dirty toilet

Gross. No. Gross. No. This shows a lack of general hygiene and cleanliness.

8. Stains

What is that mystery stain? Is it coffee, is it faeces? I am not sure that I want to know, but it still shouldn’t be there!

9. Any signs of Hoarding

Can you hear that? That’s the sound of alarm bells ringing! Hoarders have some real problems that need addressing. If he has piles and piles of seemingly pointless ‘stuff’ and mess, this can be an indicator of some underlying issues. NOTE that collectibles are not hoarding, they are hobbies.

10. A whole bunch of fast food wrappers.

Even the best of us can be partial to the occasional 2 am Maccas run. But weeks or months’ worth of fast food wrappers are alarming. Can this man feed himself? Does he know where his bin is? Has he ever eaten a vegetable?

A good rule of thumb: Is there anything in his home that makes you ask: ‘Am I going to be murdered in this house?’

GREEN LIGHTS (You know, the opposite of red flags)

House Plants.

Candles.

Clean towels (and more than one).

Dirty laundry that is in a basket/hamper.

Well cared for pets.

Fruit and Veg in the fridge (that aren’t floppy or mouldy).

Art on the walls.

The bar has not been raised particularly high here lads. Go to Kmart, spend $50 and impress all the ladies you bring home!