Even though many of us dread first dates, they are really important. First impressions are actually pretty important. It’s the time you decide whether the person you’re on a date is going to fit into your life. Having strong chemistry is great but having common interests, values and goals will fuse that chemistry with matching compatibility.

What questions should you ask on a first date? Without sounding too serious, too boring or too calculative?

When it comes to first dates, it is important to keep things balanced, not too serious or too casual. You are out to have fun but also to decide whether you want to open your world to this individual and whether they are worth it.

Some people will tell you to move away heated topics such as politics, religion, finances or talking about past relationships. Eventually, these are the hard conversations that will eventuate and how they react to them will give you another glimpse at how well you will fare together.

So what are the questions for your first date? That’s a good question.

Really, it boils down to you and your date. Gauge them as you go and see what you can ask along the way. Essentially, if your dates religious inclinations are of utmost importance to you even on that very first date, then don’t hold back and ask the question, but maybe not in the very first 5 minutes. Give yourself time to enjoy the surroundings, the food and the drinks and then ask.

Ask about their priorities and values

One very important question to ask is, however, one in regards to values and priorities. Having chemistry is great, but being compatible accentuates chemistry. Ask simple questions like, ‘what do you like to do, how do you spend your time, what makes you happy?’. Find out in the beginning that you actually like the same things or some of them because spending time doing something you do not like or are not into, is awful. When you like the same things you will spend time doing things you like together. When you share experiences that you both enjoy, these experiences bring you closer together.

Ask them how they spend their weekends

This is a great question to ask because the answer will let you know what their interests are. Whether they have hobbies and what kind of passions they have. They might like to go hiking or mountain climbing, things you like too. Having similar interests will make you more compatible. Or you both like to go camping and enjoy road trips. Obviously, there will be things you will like to do on your own or with your close friends. Which is also quite normal and healthy. But when you are together you do things you both enjoy which builds happy memories bonding you together.

Ask about their regrets

By sharing embarrassing moments and regrets they will tell you about their moral compass and also about experiences they’ve learnt from. They are individuals who have a standard and hopefully one that is compatible with yours. When relating their mishaps they become vulnerable a way to build intimacy. Building intimacy is important to a lasting relationship.

Ask about their very worst date

Hopefully, they don’t say ‘this one’. Humour is always a great ice-breaker but it also lets you know if you have the same kind of sense of humour. Like they say, couple that laugh together stay together.

Hope that these question will help you navigate through your first date and make it less awkward. More important, hoping that these questions help you figure out if the person you just met is someone you like to spend time with.