When it comes to dating, confidence is one of the sexiest traits a person can have. Keeping that confidence up is sometimes a struggle. Especially, after going on several dates where nothing panned out. It can do a number on your self-esteem.

Failed dates can result in some negative beliefs to crop up and often people start believing them. Don’t!  Beliefs such as, “I’ll never find my soulmate.”, “Nobody is going to ever love me”, “I’m destined to be alone”, are soul destroying and confidence killers.

These beliefs are dangerous because they become embedded in our psychic and will translate in how we see yourselves, even in the way we present ourselves and that’s how we shut down new possibilities.

Be confident in projecting who you really are and believe that there is someone who wants you and who deserves you.

That’s why confidence is so very important. When you are confident in yourself and your ability to attract the right person for you, dating becomes more fun.

So, here are 5 scientific backed up ways to become more confident in your dating life.

1. Wear a colour that you love and makes you feel sexy

You must have heard by now that wearing the colour red can make you look more attractive and increase your sex appeal. In a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, found that wearing the colour red can influence how you feel about yourself. In this study, participants who wore red felt more “physically attractive and sexually receptive” than those who wore blue. The explanation is engrained in psychology. Since people typically associate red with passion and desire, those who wore red felt more attractive because they subconsciously “knew” they would be perceived as more attractive.

Simple, invest in a red dress or top or bring out that red dress or top hiding in your wardrobe and put it on. Be a confident and sexy person other people perceive you to be.

2. Wear perfume on your date

There’s nothing more seductive than catching that beautiful aroma from your date. When you smell good, you feel good and your body language will display confidence.

Perfume is confidence in a bottle. In a study published by journal Neurobiology of Sensation and Reward, 90% of women in a study reported feeling more confident when they wore perfume.

Put on your favourite perfume before you head out on a date because you’ll feel confident and your date will pick up on your vibes.

3. Listen to music as you get ready for your date

A study in 2014 in the Journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science found that listening to music can increase your confidence levels and make you feel well more ‘powerful’. What is interesting is that songs that were bass-heavy left participants feeling and acting more confident.

Play some tunes before your date and feel and act more confident as a result.

4. Strike a pose in front of your mirror before you go out

Sounds silly, but according to a study by social psychologist, Amy Cuddy, body language can shape your mind, fundamentally how you perceive yourself.

Participants, in the study, were asked to hold a ‘high-power pose’, which is more open and wider, while others were asked to do a ‘low-power pose’, which involved leaning in with legs crossed. Everyone was told to hold these poses for a couple of minutes.

Interesting to see is that high-power posers saw an increase in their testosterone levels and decrease in their cortisol levels. There you have it, holding a high-power pose for two minutes will help you focus on your strengths, which then leads to a boost in your confidence.

5. Think back to an occasion when you felt good about yourself

A study published in the Journal of Experimental Society Psychology found that ‘power-priming’ yourself before an important date or event can help you feel and act confident.

All you have to think about a time when you felt confident and really good about yourself before an important event. Think about that time when you felt powerful and bring back those feelings to the present. This is a useful strategy for first dates, job interviews or a presentation.

Try out some of these tips to build your confidence and keeping it up while making dating fun again.

Feature Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

H/T: Bustle

1. Initiate things

Be ready to initiate things in bed and outside. Make plans to take her out,  keep her guessing and have her wondering what else you have up your sleeve. Be enthusiastic about your time together by planning your dates and make them exciting and memorable. Be sure to include her likes in the planning too. Show genuine interest in her work, hobbies, and her life goals.

2. Be confident

There’s nothing that oozes more sex appeal than confidence. When a man knows how to handle himself in any situation, women feel secure around them. Women like to be with a man who appears to be able to handle almost any situation that arises with composure, suaveness and candour.

3. Be committed

Show you are committed to her. When you are with her, be present and shower her with attention. So, watch that wondering eye in public and don’t comment on your ex’s social media or exchange texts with old flames. Creating the illusion or displaying the likelihood of straying will lead to her behaving similarly and not trusting you.

4. Keep your promises

Women want to depend on you, they want to count on you. If you make plans with her, keep them. Do not ditch her as soon as your friends make other plans and forget about your plans with her. If there is something that came up, do ring her or get her in the loop and make alternative plans. Women understand that you like to spend time with your friends, what they do not appreciate is to be rudely pushed over without consideration.

5. Be mysterious

Do not divulge everything about you, be a bit mysterious. Who doesn’t like to solve a good mystery? Want to keep her interested, have her do some guesswork. There’s a challenge in trying to figure you out and women like a bit of a challenge. As the relationship mature, keep the mystery going on planning surprise dates or surprise gifts on special occasions.

6. Be generous

Women adore it when men are generous. Generous with gifts and time. Giving gifts is wonderful but giving your time to her, means so much more. Spending time with her is the true show that she comes first in your life.

7.  Be kind

There is a stark difference between being kind and being a wimp. A man needs to be bold, tough and fierce, this is true in the world of business, but not in the bedroom. A man who treats his lady with kindness, who treats her right is highly desirable to women. Be the fierce lion in the world out there but with her, be her Knight in shining armour .

8. Show your parenting qualities

Women are always projecting, thinking ahead. Exhibit your potential to be a good husband and a good dad. Qualities like patience, compassion and playfulness are going to grab her attention. These are qualities that will meet her needs and later if you end up in a committed relationship, the needs of your offspring. The way you interact with other people’s kids or even pets will send her messages of the future potential ‘father’ you could be.

9. Have hobbies

Women like a man who has a broad knowledge of the world. Introduce them to a new world they wouldn’t experience on their own. Teach them about camping, surfing, woodwork, any of your passions. Of course, try to gauge her interest, if she seems interested, continue, but tread with caution, don’t overwhelm her with too much too soon. Keep it light and fluffy to start with and don’t bore her to tears with too much jargon or details.

10. Sense of humour

This one is big.  Women love men who can make them laugh and who can laugh at themselves. Life’s too stressful and it sure doesn’t have to be intense around the clock.  Make her laugh. A man who can diffuse an uncomfortable situation is sexy and irresistible to women. In life and in a long relationship the ability to find humour or at least to laugh at a situation is essential for its survival.

Women find men who see the lighter side of life, who are compassionate, kind, confident, considerate and respectful of them and their priorities, the most irresistible and attractive. Yes, having a chiselled body and a gorgeous face are qualities that draw attention but are not sustainable to a long successful and happy relationship.

The secret to great sex and how to improve your sex life, requires first and foremost a level of comfort and self-assurance in being in your own skin and achieving it, is not as hard as you may think.

Life sometimes takes its toll and where we started as sexual beings is very different to where we are now. Loving and feeling confident with your body is the essence of good sex.This applies both to women and men.

” Before you try to love someone else, you need to love yourself first “

Go on a journey of sexual discovery, strip down and look at your body in the mirror, appreciate its form, the good and the bad, and think about what it can do and how it makes you feel. The more you see your naked body the more you mentally embrace your body, simple but effective technique. Being in the nude reduces shame.

Here are a few tips on how to be more comfortable with your body, and in turn improve your sex life:

Sleep in the nude

First, start in a place you’re a bit more used to being naked: the bedroom. Sleeping in the buff can help bring you closer in your relationship, but it can also aid you in getting a better night’s sleep.

Trip to the nudist beach

According to science, watching naked people and being naked increases self-esteem and promotes positive body image.  It makes perfect sense that seeing other people with “normal, not perfect” bodies helps ease the insecurities you feel toward your own body.

Masturbate in front of mirror

If it has been a while since you allowed yourself to experience pleasure, because you are just too focused on how your body comes across, time for some self-love. Spend time rediscovering your body and how it likes to be touched, how it responds to certain touches and pressure. Re-learn your bodies’ ability to experience pleasure.

Since the mirrors are already in place, why not use them to please your voyeuristic tendencies. It certainly will beat any porn out there, it’s live streamed, real homemade porn happening while you both are the main stars. It can be a real turn on to see yourself being pleasured and watching your partner being pleasured by you. This will boost your confidence through the roof and reinforce body positivity.

Good sex has nothing to do with the shape and size but more with the ability to be kinder to ourselves and to stop worrying about what we look like, simply learn to let go and enjoy ourselves.

Do you have any tips to add that fostered better sex for you and your partner?

Hotwifing

A “hotwife” refers to a woman in a partnered couple who has sexual encounters with other men. At times this encounter might happen in the presence of her partner. Other times in his absence followed with a retelling of the events. The male partner in this relationship is turned on by his partner sexual escapades, and derives pleasure and arousal from her exercising her sexual autonomy.

Cuckolding

A “cuckold” is a man that enjoys the dominance/submission power relationship with his female partner. Often, the cuckold likes to be belittled, humiliated, or otherwise made to feel powerless. To capitalize on this power dynamic, the female partner has sexual encounters with other men. The male partner’s pleasure and satisfaction comes from the power dynamic between himself and his partner.

Thus, “cuckolding” is more about the power exchange (as in other kinds of BDSM relationships) while “hotwifing” in general often lacks this element. A man may derive intense sexual satisfaction from his partner having independent sexual escapades, but be completely uninterested with the idea of being humiliated by his female partner and/or bull. However, another man may only enjoy such escapades if he is also humiliated, forced to “clean up” the woman after her sexual encounter, or otherwise made to feel inferior to the bull.

A “bull” is the term commonly ascribed to the other man in the scenario, the person that the hotwife has the sexual encounter with.

Why has hotwifing become such a popular fantasy among couples? The main reason is to fulfill the desire of almost every man to see his beautiful wife interacting with another man.
Other reasons come to mind, the explosion of Internet facilitated the fantasy, women are more comfortable with their sexual desires and are not afraid to voice it and act on it, and last people have come to understand that fantasies are a healthy way to explore one’s sexuality and beneficial way to bond.

Hotwifing, might just be what you were looking for at this point of your relationship. Read the benefits below:

1. Freedom

Most women secretly desire this, the freedom to enjoy another man’s company and to explore their sexuality guilt free. When a man encourages his woman to enjoy other man’s company, she gets to enjoy and exercise her sexual autonomy and to express freely her sexual desires.

2. A huge turn on.

Hotwifing is a sexual fantasy that can take your relationship to the next level. It’s a way of women expressing themselves and a huge turn on for their partners. Many women are getting into exhibitionism. They love their partner watching them have sex. For the partner who wants to show off his hotwife, it’s a huge turn on to watch another man enjoy his sexy hotwife. Watching your wife/partner with another man is like watching a hot porno, with her as the main star.

3. Free from the shackles of jealousy

Jealousy is the main reason many relationships fail to work. It contributes to disagreements and sometimes breakups. Hotwifing can help the men overcome most feelings of jealousy and insecurities. This kind of relationship can make your partnership more trusting and open. There is a difference between sex and a loving relationship, your partner knows this, and the steamy encounter is only SEX.

4. Increased Trust and Communication

A strong relationship is built on trust and good communication. Healthy relationships are not about the things a couple does together but about how they communicate together, how they treat each other, and how they work together to maintain a mutually beneficial relationship. Hotwifing will not increase these aspects in a relationship if they don’t exist already. They must exist before you embark in this fantasy.

5. Look Better

To continue being the desirable to men, a hotwife will be motivated you to stay fit, eat healthy, look sexy and stay young both mentally and physically.

6. Increase and improve intimacy

Your relationship and especially sex life will absolutely improve. The physical and emotional intimacy associated with hotwifing is intense. The feeling of seeing a wife with another man will just turn any man on making the sex life better and more frequent.

7. Boost confidence and self-esteem

The esteem of both parties involved will increase and this is great for having a healthy relationship. A confident man is also what a woman wants and what better way to show how confident you are than letting your wife get out there with other men.

The benefits of hotwifing are many and there are many adventurous couples that indulge in this fantasy. However, every couple has a different dynamic, and as such, hotwifing might not be your fantasy. As a couple it is best to go with what works best for you.

Of all the things that affect our sexual satisfaction, the most important element is sexual confidence. Sexual confidence is identifying exactly what you like and dislike, and having the confidence to express it.

Attaining sexual confidence is totally up to you; it is something you can work on. Here are a few tips:

Explore your body:
Find out what pleases you. Knowing what you want and what it takes to make you feel good will give you more confidence. Inevitably this will lead to more fun, which will give you more confidence with sex. The more you do it the better you are at it.

Be willing to get good at sex:
Good sex takes dedication and willingness. Find out what it is going to take you to like and accept yourself. Think yourself attractive; believe it and you’ll be more likely to feel good about yourself in bed. Know what makes you happy sexually. The willingness to surrender and immerse yourself in the interaction is powerful and sexy.

Discover your fantasies:
Try masturbation to discover where and how you like to be touched. Masturbation also might unearth exciting scenarios that you might want to try out in real life.

Role-play:
Experiment with your partner, try role-play scenarios and break out of your comfort zone. Ask for certain sex acts; don’t wait for it to happen. Be sexually adventurous nothing spells confidence than having the eagerness and the creativity to try something new and risky. It ads new dimension to your relationship and helps you gain insight to a new side of your sexual repertoire.

Presentation:
Get a makeover, including hair, make-up. Find the right lingerie that is going to make you feel sexy. Choose an outfit that flaunts the favourite part of your figure and you’ll feel more confident all day. Begin an exercise program to get that toned body to give you extra confidence when you’re naked or when you’re in bed, research shows that exercise boosts your body image.

Sex, is meant to be enjoyed and there are not real rules governing what is good sex. Everyone has their own personal take on what constitutes good sex. Knowing what you like and dislike provides a means to ensure that you and whoever else is involved have great sex every time.

Sexual confidence in one of those things that you can’t just get, you have to work at it. Once you gain the confidence your wild sexual dreams and desires are a stone throw away. Sexually confident people feel comfortable initiating sex and have no qualms about letting you know about their needs and desires.

Most sexually confident people started out with little or no confidence and as time passes they attain sexual confidence by taking responsibility of they own pleasure.

True sexual confidence – relaxed, willing to learn about self and others, ready for what is needed, happy to take charge, and not fazed by either failure or rejection- a person who is able to both give and receive with equal pleasure.

Have you got a tip for gaining sexual confidence? Please let us know?