1. Are you feeling insecure?

If you’re questioning whether someone is out of your league, it might stem from insecurity or self-doubt. Self-esteem plays a big role in how we perceive others. If you feel “less than” in some way, you might project that onto the other person.

2. Do you share similar interests or values?

Sometimes, people feel like others are out of their league because of differences in lifestyle, goals, or values. But if you’re both into the same things or have a strong connection, that gap may not be as wide as you think.

3. What do they value in a partner?

Think about what this person seems to prioritize in relationships. Are they the kind of person who’s into looks, social status, or superficial things, or are they more interested in kindness, humor, and genuine connection? Sometimes people “out of your league” in one aspect might not be that way in what matters.

4. Have you actually had meaningful interactions with them?

If you’ve had real conversations, gotten to know each other a bit, and they seem interested or attracted to you, then chances are they don’t see a massive “league gap.” It’s all about mutual attraction, personality, and connection.

5. Are you being authentic?

Are you trying to impress them with something you’re not? Pretending to be someone else to match an ideal can create a false perception of someone being “out of your league.” If you’re being your true self and they appreciate that, the idea of leagues becomes irrelevant.

6. Is the “league” thing in your head or theirs?

If you’re feeling like they’re out of your league but they seem to like you for who you are, then it might just be a mental barrier. If they’re actually treating you like you’re inferior, then maybe there’s a real discrepancy in terms of mutual respect or shared goals.

In the end, the whole idea of someone being “out of your league” is pretty subjective. Most successful relationships are based on connection, communication, and shared values, not how people rank each other in a hypothetical “league system.” So, if there’s mutual respect, genuine connection, and attraction, you’re probably not as far apart as you think!

Image by fxquadro on Freepik

How do you know when you are in a healthy relationship? Quite simply, when you are in the ‘right’ or healthy relationship, you feel like a better version of yourself. Your partner complements your life in just the right way. You feel valued and respected at all times. When you are in a healthy relationship, you can be yourself and if there is any difference in opinion, you can discuss it openly.

What are the signs that you’re in the right relationship? Below are 6 key differences between healthy and toxic relationships.

1. You are free to pursue your hobbies and maintain friendships.

Nothing about you should change drastically because of your new relationship. Your partner should understand that pursuing outside interests is key to a healthy relationship. It’s a chance to have some ‘me’ time. If you do not get that time it can lead to sacrificing one’s identity. It’s a healthy habit to have some space to yourself.

2. When you are around your partner you are yourself

Via Giphy

In a healthy relationship, our demeanour, personality and general interaction are the same regardless who’s there. If you act differently when your partner is next to you, it’s not a good sign.

3. Power is relatively equal

In a healthy relationship, power and house chores are distributed evenly. You respect each other’s work commitments and help clean up. More important, both of you should have equal input in any decision making in the relationship.

4. You can pursue your dreams

If your partner consistently plays down your dreams, you may feel like you are not supported or understood. Which in the long run will make the relationship feel less like a partnership. Talk about your dreams and aspirations earlier in the relationship.

5. You celebrate your differences

In a toxic relationship, differences are seen as a threat to the relationship. Differences in interests, opinions are to be celebrated. Of course, difference in values may be a problem but any other difference is what will make the relationship interesting.

6. You can tell your partner when they hurt you

Arguments will happen and they aren’t necessarily a bad thing. Conflict is natural and is a sign that you can communicate openly. In a healthy relationship, you should be able to talk/discuss things that hurt you or that upset you. Talking about it leads to partners feeling they are valued, heard and understood. Not being able to discuss a misunderstanding will lead to resentment and eventually drifting you further away from each other.

H/T HuffingtonPost

Featured photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Open communication is hard, and a lack thereof is the number one biggest killer of relationships. We often want to ‘play it cool’ and not come across as intense when starting a new relationship. We fear scaring potential mates away by becoming too serious too fast. This often means that important questions go unasked, and foundational issues remain undiscussed until years into relationships (and sometimes not at all). Don’t wait until these topics become deal breakers. Put on your big person pants, suck it up and have some difficult conversations early. These are the 10 questions to discuss before you commit to a serious relationship.

Do we want to be monogamous, or will we have an open or ethically non-monogamous relationship?

This needs clarification early. If you decide to be an exclusive, monogamous couple, you need to decide between you what this means, where the boundaries are, what you each consider to be cheating. If you decide together to have an open, polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous relationship, it is doubly important to establish boundaries, have very open communication and define what this means for the both of you.

What does healthy communication look like for you?

How often do you need to see each other/speak to feel happy and healthy in your relationship? Knowing early whether or not your partner is a ‘texter’, or whether they hate phone calls or text based conversations can save a lot of confusion. If you’re forever feeling doubtful because they don’t message you back immediately, you need to ask and discuss between you how much daily communication each of you needs to feel satisfied. If you find that your need for communication is vastly different, you can find a healthy middle ground.

How important is physical touch for you in a relationship?

Physical touch is one of the 5 major love languages. For some, physical touch (not necessarily sex) is an extremely important aspect of a relationship. If this is something that is essential for you, your partner needs to know as early as possible, especially if you then discover they are not big on PDA or have trouble with physical intimacy.

What things will you not compromise on?

Lay out the things that are extremely important and foundational to you. Whether it be your faith, your living arrangements, or your need for certain experiences. If you know straight up that you have some unshakeable needs, your partner needs to be aware of them.

Create a Will/Want/Won’t list for sexual activities.

Remembering that sexuality is a fluid thing, and your notions of what you want may change over time. This is a conversation that should be had fairly often. What form (if any) of birth control/protection will you use? How would you deal with an unexpected pregnancy (for heterosexual couples)?  A will/want/ won’t list allows you to outline the things that you like, are open to and will absolutely not do sexually, which can save you some nasty surprises in the future.

Dr Lindsey Doe outlines this idea perfectly in this video

What are your top priorities?

Are you a workaholic, do you want children? How important is travel to you? A sea of bitterness and resentment can happen later in life and relationships if one of you yearns to see the world, but the other is completely career minded. Would you be happy to travel without each other? Establish if your priorities are aligned or vastly different, and if they are, can you compromise to make it work for you both.

Do our religious/political views clash? Will this be an issue in the future?

Do you have devout faith? Do your religious beliefs affect your dating or relationship in terms of intimacy or boundaries? Do you have similar views on important issues? Can you be accepting, if not understanding of your partner’s ideologies or are you secretly hoping to change their mind? Always remember that stepping into a relationship with the underlying thought of changing something fundamental about your partner, is a recipe for failure.

Do you like/will you tolerate this ‘thing’ that is important to me?

If you are a huge fan of (for example) gaming, theatre, ballet, or a particular sport, but your potential mate would rather punch themselves in the eyes than watch/hear about/tolerate your interest, then perhaps you have an issue. Will their distaste for your passion breed contempt, or can they let you enjoy what you like without interference? Can they learn to have an appreciation for the ‘thing’ that you love, or will they put you down or try to change your mind about it? Having separate interests and passions is extremely important, it is always easier if your partners at least respects, if not enjoys your hobbies and passions.

How important is family to you/ Do you want kids?

Save yourself some potential heartbreak down the line. Kids can be a make or break for some couples. I don’t feel as though this needs a lot of explaining. The desire to have a family should not be sacrificed for the sake of a relationship, if you feel as though becoming a parent is an important milestone for you.

What had caused your previous relationships to fail?

This is for some, a very difficult topic to broach, particularly if you were in the wrong in the past. You don’t need to go into agonising detail about your past failures, but at least addressing the things that became issues in past relationships will help you to determine what you can change to avoid a repeat in the future.

Be brave. Have difficult conversations. Thrive together!

They just don’t want to talk to you.

This is going to be a hard pill to swallow, but not every person you’re interested in is going to be interested back. Maybe you’ve hooked up and they have decided that they don’t want to pursue a further relationship with you. While it’s frustrating (and rude) that they haven’t just told you outright, your incessant texting is not going to help the situation. Cut your losses and find someone who reciprocates your interest, it will be better for them, you, and your mental health. If you don’t think you can control yourself, delete their number AND social media (or have a trusted friend do it for you).

They are a busy person/ have different priorities.

We all have sh*t going on. Most adults work real jobs that often don’t allow you to have your phone glued to your hand all day long. Unless you have messaged ‘HELP ME, I AM LITERALLY ON FIRE!’ I can assume that your message is probably not of dire importance. Every person has a different order of priorities for things in their life, and perhaps responding to frivolous messages is low on their list. If it is becoming a real issue for you, either let the situation go, or address it directly. Our phones also have this crazy function that will allow you to speak to each other with your actual voices. Give your thumbs a break and give them a call.

You’re being annoying

None of us really want to believe that we are the problem. But take it from this woman who sent 65, 000 messages to a man she met online, sometimes you just need to take a step back. If you’ve sent a significant amount of messages that have gone unanswered, you might be harassing your poor date. If your recipient is only responding after an intense barrage of messages, it might be time to cool your jets and give yourself a self-imposed limit on communication.

You’re hooked on instant gratification

It might be hard to fathom for the majority of us who have grown up in the internet and mobile phone era, but there was a time before instant messaging. We weren’t always in constant contact with each other, and perhaps the shift to this instant gratification lifestyle has caused us to become more impatient and less understanding as a whole.

We flip out if we wait more than a few hours for a response to communication, our minds wander straight to ‘where are they’, ‘who are they with’, ‘why don’t they want to talk to me’. Sometimes we forget that we are not the centre of anyone’s universe but our own. Chill out! Your own ego, insecurity and need for attention might be ruining your relationships. If this is happening in a long term relationship, or in a situation that looks like it might be serious, and it is genuinely affecting you. Talk to them, and I don’t mean via passive aggressive text messages. Tell them that it upsets you, let them help you to understand why it might be happening and work through it together. Healthy communication is the pillar of a strong relationship. Assumptions never do anyone any good.

They are not a ‘texter’

Some people just don’t like texting, or they don’t know how to communicate effectively via text based communication. This is completely understandable, there is no tone, no facial expressions, intent can be easily misconstrued (thank god for emoji’s). If that is a deal breaker for you, perhaps come to a compromise together. They will make sure to text back at least once a day, or alternatively put aside some time to speak to you on the phone or in person.

They forgot that they read your message.

I am absolutely guilty of this. Receive a message while at work, driving or out and file it in the ‘reply later’ section of my brain. Unfortunately, this is also seemingly the ‘delete’ section because 90% of the time I forget that I have ever read the message. If you’ve found yourself communicating with a serial forgetter, a gentle reminder to respond every now and then is okay.

They are playing mind games with you

This is what most people would like to believe when they are being ghosted or ignored. It shifts the blame from you to them, stops you from taking a moment to reflect inward. HOWEVER, there is a small portion of the time when this may actually be what is happening. If that’s the case. Don’t bother. It’s not worth your precious energy or time. Byeeeee.

They lost their thumbs in a tragic thumb accident

They haven’t learned to text with their toes yet.

They sold their phone for a sack of magic beans.

Compatibility of fundamental values

Travelling together will help you to decide what you truly connect on, and whether your core values align. If your primary objective of lounging by the pool all day (cocktail in hand), makes your partner itch with boredom. While their idea of climbing the nearest mountain, sounds like of the 7^th layer of hell to you, you may have yourselves a problem.

This incompatibility does not necessarily mean the doom of a relationship. So long as you are able to reach compromises together. Find activities you will both enjoy, or allow time apart to explore your own interests. Strict unwavering in this regard may be a red flag that you’re just not going to work out, which brings me to the next point.

Communication under stress

We tend to lash out when we are stressed. Calm and respectful communication is tantamount to a healthy relationship. You might find yourself in situations that you feel are the other person’s fault and wish to lay blame or lash out. However, it’s resisting the urge to do this and instead communicating openly and problem-solving as a team which will bring you together.

Let me give you an anecdote from my own experience travelling with my partner:

It’s 12 am, we have just finished a night safari in New Zealand, and we haven’t figured out how we are going to get home. We walk to the bus station and wait, and wait some more. 30 minutes pass and we realise, the bus is not coming. My partner turns to me and suggests that we start walking. I agree, and as we get no more than 5 minutes down the road, the bus zooms past, and we have missed it.

We now find ourselves faced with an hour and a half trek down a mountainside, and note at this point, neither of us have eaten dinner. Every step down this hill wearing stupid shoes only increases the ever-growing hangry rage boiling in us both. We eventually find ourselves back at the hotel with a single mission; eat something before we murder each other. We get into to car in search of a drive through (Spoiler alert: we were staying in the CBD, this was a stupid idea). After fruitlessly driving for another 15 minutes we drive the car back to the hotel and walk out into the cold, sniffing the air for any sign of food nearby.

At this point I’m so hungry I could lick the pavement. We reached the closest fast food place and I nearly cried as I read that it has closed, after some swift googling we almost ran to the next place. I swear a tear of joy crept out of my eye as we walked into the restaurant at 2 am. As I sat, finally placated and fed and watched my partner devour that burger like a starved wildebeest I realised, this is the one.

This was without a doubt an extremely high-stress situation that could have led to an argument or an opportunity to dole out blame. But we both (relatively) kept our cool, and it remains one of my favourite relationship stories.

Forced time together

Aside from holiday situations, couples will rarely find themselves spending extended periods of time with each other in close quarters. Autonomy and personal space are important in any relationship, but while travelling you’ll find yourselves stuck together with no means of escape. This is a great assessment to determine if you truly enjoy each other’s company for longer than a few hours at a time. When you take a person out of their natural habitat, it is a test of their ability to adapt to new situations. Will they crack under pressure, or do they keep a cool head? It’s a time for you to decide whether your partner’s quirks or endearing or deal breaking.

Shared Problem solving

If you have had a travelling experience where not a single thing has gone wrong, congratulations, you’ve won the holiday lottery! For the rest of us mere mortals, we know that regardless of how well planned, or painstakingly organised you are, something somewhere is going to go wrong. Cars break down, flights are delayed, or you find yourselves lost in a foreign country. It’s these moments that can define how you problem solve as a couple. Can you come to a shared agreement on the best course of action or will you disagree until the situation dissolves into a fight? Solving problems together and feeling satisfied with the outcome can bring you closer as a couple, and also grant insight into how you might solve problems together further down the track.

You challenge each other’s limits

This is the time to try new things together and to test each other’s limits. Foreign experiences will allow you to learn what is and what is not for you. You might find yourself yelling ‘AGAIN!’ after zip lining through a forest, or maybe you’ll be in the foetal position crying ‘never again’. New experiences together let us learn things about our partner we might never have had to opportunity to learn otherwise. You’ve discovered they hated zip lining? Better cross skydive voucher off the list of potential Christmas gifts. New and exciting experiences, even terrifying ones give you a shared bond that you’ll always have together.

And Finally

Hotel sex = incredible

Dating takes effort and a lot of personal investment, but sometimes when you meet the right person, it’s all worth it. Being honest with each other is ultimately the key to a successful relationship in the long haul. However, while we try to be honest with a partner, the favour is not always returned.

Roaching, a term coined by AskMen, happens when your new dating interest ‘accidentally or on purpose let’s slip that they’re seeing someone else’. And when they are confronted about it, they quickly establish that you never had the ‘exclusive’ talk.

What happen? You just got roached.

The thing is, there’s nothing explicitly wrong with dating around. However, if it is an outcome of dishonesty is just plain disrespectful.

The term ‘Roaching’ comes from the idea that when you see one cockroach, there are a bunch more you don’t see. So, while you are dating this person, they were hiding a number of other crushes, lovers, matches and dates.
While you might not have had the ‘exclusive’ talk, you haven’t either ‘I’m dating other people’. It’s not what they are doing but how they are doing that is offensive.

This whole situation can be avoided with good communication, and honesty. Just let your partner know instead of hiding, avoiding hurting anyone in the process.

Bedtime Bothers

I’m not going to pretend that I’m not guilty of this one myself – hopping into bed, but instead of turning to my significant other (SO) and snuggling up for a little cuddle time, I decide I’ll just quickly check my Facebook notifications…then my Instagram…then my Pinterest…Next thing I know an hour has passed by and it’s way past bedtime with no time for cuddles or anything more amorous. AND I wake up grumpy the next day from lack of sleep. Turn off that phone and turn to your SO to show them that they’re more important to you than those likes on the latest photo you posted.

Impatient Interactions

Long gone are the days when you had to wait hours to have a conversation with your SO. These days, communication is immediate, and as a result, we’re becoming increasingly impatient if someone doesn’t respond to our text messages/phone calls instantly. Have you found yourself in an argument with your SO about the fact that they didn’t get back to you immediately? I know I have. And unfairly so. Don’t expect your SO to be glued to their phone and respond instantly, as that’s just likely to make them develop an addiction to their phone if they haven’t already.

Dinner Disasters

How many times have you found yourself at dinner with your SO and found yourself staring at your phone rather than at them? It’s so easy to get distracted by a phone going off, or even just looking to fill a ‘lull’ in the conversation. Don’t give in to temptation – put it on silent and do NOT leave your phone on the table.

Killing Communication

Do you find it hard to articulate yourself in a conversation face-to-face when it’s about a serious or potentially argument-causing issue? These days, we’re relying more on more on our phones to be a buffer in a way and avoiding tackling the tricky topics face to face by waiting until we can text about it instead. Be sure to discuss any serious issues with your SO face to face and leave your phone in another room, no matter how difficult it may be to do both of these things. It’s so important to have open and honest communication within a relationship and be able to show and share your feelings with each other. You’ll feel so much closer for having those tough conversations in person, trust me.

Hotwifing

A “hotwife” refers to a woman in a partnered couple who has sexual encounters with other men. At times this encounter might happen in the presence of her partner. Other times in his absence followed with a retelling of the events. The male partner in this relationship is turned on by his partner sexual escapades, and derives pleasure and arousal from her exercising her sexual autonomy.

Cuckolding

A “cuckold” is a man that enjoys the dominance/submission power relationship with his female partner. Often, the cuckold likes to be belittled, humiliated, or otherwise made to feel powerless. To capitalize on this power dynamic, the female partner has sexual encounters with other men. The male partner’s pleasure and satisfaction comes from the power dynamic between himself and his partner.

Thus, “cuckolding” is more about the power exchange (as in other kinds of BDSM relationships) while “hotwifing” in general often lacks this element. A man may derive intense sexual satisfaction from his partner having independent sexual escapades, but be completely uninterested with the idea of being humiliated by his female partner and/or bull. However, another man may only enjoy such escapades if he is also humiliated, forced to “clean up” the woman after her sexual encounter, or otherwise made to feel inferior to the bull.

A “bull” is the term commonly ascribed to the other man in the scenario, the person that the hotwife has the sexual encounter with.

Why has hotwifing become such a popular fantasy among couples? The main reason is to fulfill the desire of almost every man to see his beautiful wife interacting with another man.
Other reasons come to mind, the explosion of Internet facilitated the fantasy, women are more comfortable with their sexual desires and are not afraid to voice it and act on it, and last people have come to understand that fantasies are a healthy way to explore one’s sexuality and beneficial way to bond.

Hotwifing, might just be what you were looking for at this point of your relationship. Read the benefits below:

1. Freedom

Most women secretly desire this, the freedom to enjoy another man’s company and to explore their sexuality guilt free. When a man encourages his woman to enjoy other man’s company, she gets to enjoy and exercise her sexual autonomy and to express freely her sexual desires.

2. A huge turn on.

Hotwifing is a sexual fantasy that can take your relationship to the next level. It’s a way of women expressing themselves and a huge turn on for their partners. Many women are getting into exhibitionism. They love their partner watching them have sex. For the partner who wants to show off his hotwife, it’s a huge turn on to watch another man enjoy his sexy hotwife. Watching your wife/partner with another man is like watching a hot porno, with her as the main star.

3. Free from the shackles of jealousy

Jealousy is the main reason many relationships fail to work. It contributes to disagreements and sometimes breakups. Hotwifing can help the men overcome most feelings of jealousy and insecurities. This kind of relationship can make your partnership more trusting and open. There is a difference between sex and a loving relationship, your partner knows this, and the steamy encounter is only SEX.

4. Increased Trust and Communication

A strong relationship is built on trust and good communication. Healthy relationships are not about the things a couple does together but about how they communicate together, how they treat each other, and how they work together to maintain a mutually beneficial relationship. Hotwifing will not increase these aspects in a relationship if they don’t exist already. They must exist before you embark in this fantasy.

5. Look Better

To continue being the desirable to men, a hotwife will be motivated you to stay fit, eat healthy, look sexy and stay young both mentally and physically.

6. Increase and improve intimacy

Your relationship and especially sex life will absolutely improve. The physical and emotional intimacy associated with hotwifing is intense. The feeling of seeing a wife with another man will just turn any man on making the sex life better and more frequent.

7. Boost confidence and self-esteem

The esteem of both parties involved will increase and this is great for having a healthy relationship. A confident man is also what a woman wants and what better way to show how confident you are than letting your wife get out there with other men.

The benefits of hotwifing are many and there are many adventurous couples that indulge in this fantasy. However, every couple has a different dynamic, and as such, hotwifing might not be your fantasy. As a couple it is best to go with what works best for you.

Rach Wilson and her husband Kerry are in a successful open relationship. They’ve been married for 11 years and seeing other people for eight years.

The Melbourne couple, both 38, have a 9-year-old daughter together and Rach has a 16-year-old from a previous relationship.

Rach says infidelity and divorce rates could be slashed if people were more open-minded about different types of relationships.

I would call myself ‘biflexible’ or ‘heteroflexible’. I believe that some people are naturally not monogamous. It’s like the bell curve. You’ve got the extremes, and then every other person lands in different places.

There are some people that are absolutely suited to monogamy. They need consistency and routine, but there are a bunch of people that need variety.

They can love more than one person at a time. But our arrangement is that my husband is my primary lover.

There is not one box that all of us can fit into. A lot of society in terms of religion and the media, propagate the idea that monogamy is the way it should be. It creates a struggle for some people.

I think infidelity and divorce rates could be reduced significantly if education and communication about different styles of relationships, and how to make them work successfully, was made more available.

When I got into this relationship, I said, ‘I’m not going to be who you want me to be, I’m going to be who I want to be’.

I’ve been married once before and one of the things that I wish I had done was been myself more. I completely lost who I was because I picked up all of his interests and hobbies.

When Kerry and I first got together, I said to him, ‘I’m a flirtatious, social kind of person and I want to be able to be that person. If you can’t handle that, then there’s going to be an issue.’

And he was relieved, because he was exactly the same.

Both of us in our previous relationships had very jealous partners, and we’d shut that part of us down because we didn’t want to cause pain to our partners.

But in doing that, the second you start to repress or hide who you are, a part of you dies.

Because we were so open and honest in those first few weeks of dating, when the opportunity [to see other people] came up, it was easier to have that conversation and explore the idea.

But it was still a very hard question to put out there. It was me that wanted to open up our relationship. Initially Kerry wasn’t 100 per cent comfortable with it.

I was away at a personal development workshop and I felt a real attraction to one of the other people I was in the group with.

I said, ‘I’d really love us to talk about opening up our relationship because I’d like to be able to experience these things, and I’d like you to be able to experience them too’.

We sat down and said, ‘How are we going to do this?’

We’re only human. We had all the usual fears.

We discussed boundaries and we would do a little debrief after each experience — to share what we liked and what we didn’t like and to be able to discuss that further so that both of us were comfortable.

Clearly an open relationship requires a bit more emotional intelligence for it to be a success. It really does hinge on how good you are at communicating.

If one of us is feeling not right about something, then it’s up to us to bring it up and talk about it. You have to speak up if you’re not feeling comfortable.

When impromptu opportunities come up, we just say, ‘Hey babe, I’d really love to do this. It this OK?’

If the other person is OK with it, then great. If not, we have a discussion.

We could work out a compromise — ‘Could you please be home by a certain hour?’, or ‘Could you please do this nice thing for me?’

Both of us want each other to do what makes them happy, but not at the expense of our own happiness.

It’s a delicate balance. The whole thing is about collaborating with your partner and being flexible with what you want and what they want to do.”

The most difficult time is when both of us are feeling a bit precious and our ability to communicate isn’t as good.

Because we’re human and we don’t get it right all the time. Sometimes we overreact like any normal couple, but most of the time we get it pretty right.

Sometimes we go to parties, or other people’s houses, or swinger’s events. We’ll go to those types of events and end up at an after party.

It depends. There have been times where we’ve had a dinner party, we get the kids baby sat away from the house, and we have the whole house to ourselves.

People think it’s this sordid thing, but it’s just like going back onto the singles dating scene, but this time you’re going it as a couple.

I’m always saying things like, ‘Oh no babe, you can’t wear that shirt! Make sure you put the sexy underwear on. Make sure you put the cologne on. You want to smell good’.

Life doesn’t have to be so serious.

We told my oldest daughter [about our open relationship] a few years ago. We had a great conversation. Now that she’s 16 she’s making choices for herself.

We told her knowing full well she was starting to form her own opinions and we wanted to explain things to her before people’s negative opinions got to her first.

She thanked me for telling her about different kinds of relationships because she feels like now she can make a really conscious choice for herself. And she’s not weirded-out if she wants something different in life.

She loves that she can see we’re extremely happy and we’re extremely connected. What she’s getting to experience is a very happy and healthy relationship.

Some people can be a bit judgmental. Most of the time it’s people questioning the values I’m teaching my child. It’s all a bit too much for some people.

But most people are curious more than anything.

They ask questions like, ‘How does that work? How do you negotiate things as a couple?’. Because I’ve been so open about my life, it’s opened up the door for a lot of other people to explore different types of relationships.

Have you experienced an open relationship? Would you like to try it? Let us know what you think below!

Source: news.com.au

Well there is a fair argument to say that men and women have never been further apart and as the ancient art of speak seems to become more and more fractured with each new blogging site, the act of engaging a potential partner in real life grows harder by the day.

So it’s time for some old school communication pointers, the big five for each sex. What women want to hear and just as importantly, what men want to hear…

What women want to hear

Compliments

Easy… you look incredible. Not hard right? No it’s not hard, so be sure to notice when your girl does something with their hair or wears those new shoes she bought. You don’t have to go over the top but you do have to be sincere, or at least sell sincere. Just a casual off the cuff compliment can lift your ladies spirits immeasurably which, of course, can only be good for you.

Be Jealous

Now we’re not suggesting you start glassing randoms who glance fleetingly in your ladies direction, but every now and then flex your muscles a touch. If your partner is chatting with another guy, be sure to ask who he was. Use humour as women will read through it anyway, so you can avoid the heavy vibes and still get the benefit. Your girl will appreciate that you care enough to be protective of her and your relationship.

Enquire

They say women want good listeners but if you’re one of those A+ kinda cats who have to go for gold then here’s the next level. Not only should you listen but follow it up with a few questions… “Really, your boss said that? So what did you do?” You’re most likely going to get the whole story anyway so why not play a part in its telling and connect with your lady; it will make her day and your night.

Long term

You don’t have to hit the mortgage broker circuit just yet but it doesn’t hurt to let your partner know that you have semi-long term intentions for the relationship. Again, it’s not about marriage or kids but simple ideas; things like a concert coming up in a few months you could both attend or a holiday together next year, can give your girl a feeling of security which will lead to a more relaxed and giving partner… and who doesn’t like a giving partner?

The Effect she has on you

This is the cunning second cousin of the compliment, it’s like saying she’s pretty but taking it a couple of steps further by telling her what that does to you. A woman will never feel more desired than when her man says how crazy hot she makes him. A few lines like “I just about explode looking at you” or “I couldn’t get those legs out of my mind all day” will remind her of the sexy power she has and most likely encourage her to wield it generously.

For Men

Compliments

Yes, not many men will admit to it but they are compliment hounds lust like the girls. Telling your man how sexy his hair is or how much you like the new shirt he bought will put a little spring in his step. You can always man it up some saying how much you like the new spoiler kit on the Commodore but the fact that you’re trying is the main thing.

Help me

“Here let me help you with that little lady”… never will a man have his chest sprouted further out than when mumbling those words. Think about it, three million years back men could just club a mountain lion and feel good about their place in the world, however thanks to microwave dinners and mace, the traditional male duties of providing for and protecting have been made somewhat redundant. So every now and then, throw him a jar with a stubborn lid or ask for something from the very high shelf. He’ll moan about it but inside he’ll be rainbows and puppies.

I’m impressed

Sure, men can be unfocussed buffoons who won’t notice a hair change short of a buzz cut, but sometimes it will be worth rising above the inequality to pay some attention to changes in their world. If your man’s been hitting the gym, mention it – “You’re arms look bigger hey”. Or if he has a crack in the kitchen don’t afraid to praise his cheese on toast abilities… don’t do it and you’ll be cutting your own Kraft from now on.

I want you

As we’ve established, men like compliments too and kind words don’t come any hotter than “I want you”. Any guy will heat up when told the female of the species is aroused by his mere existence and he’ll do just about anything to realise the potential of that remark. Don’t be afraid to play it cheeky; so you’re in the hair care aisle at Woolies, tell him that the way he’s fondling that Pantene bottle has your heart racing. Watch how task orientated he’ll be for the next twenty minutes.

Dirty Talk

Ok girls, this is pretty much the holy grail, the old saying goes men want a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room and a whore in the bedroom; well I’ve got some welcome news for you, you only have to sound like a whore… unless you’re that way inclined of course. A few carefully chosen and passionately delivered blue streaks can have a man bouncing of walls igniting all he touches. There is nothing hotter than a nice girl turned bad, even if it’s only for a few minutes, so don’t be afraid to let loose the hellish demons of profanity, the ride you receive will be more than worth it.