Yes, we all know that swinging rules but here we’re talking about rules that many couples have for their swinging lifestyle. I’m sure every couple has to some extent set up some special rules when it comes to playing with other people, or has perhaps encountered people who asked you to agree to their Terms of Use before being allowed into the ir bedroom.

So are rules a turn-off or do they come as a welcome relief to those who don’t want to play guessing games? Most likely it will depend on the nature of the rules and how strictly or loosely they are to be followed. Some rules may well be common sense and goes without saying but others have been known to leave some couples dazed and confused as they make a run for it out the door. We’ll take a look at some of the more common rules and how to tackle each one if you get hit up with them.

Same room/Same partner interaction

This is probably the one rule that most couples have followed at one point or another. It certainly is one that newbies should consider having in place before meeting people. Same room (and/or same partner) sexual interaction is ideal for those who like the security of knowing that their partner is close by (not that anything weird is likely to happen of course!). If you don’t feel comfortable or confident in saying no to relative strangers, then having your partner to lean on can save you all from having a full on freak-out.
For other couples, it’s just plain old voyeurism that calls for the same room rule. Many people enjoy watching their partners pleasure or be pleasured by others so keeping play in the same area is a must. It’s unlikely most couples will have a problem with same room fun but if it’s a fairly strict rule on part of the other couple, it’s probably not a good idea to try and separate the pair, even if it’s suddenly OK with one partner. If both partners seem keen to try but you’re worried about repercussions, suggest a semi-detached encounter at the doorway of the bedroom. You can be voyeurs as well as hear all the sexy sounds but be in relative proximity. Just in case.

Separate room play

Just as some couples insist on same room play, some couples prefer or even demand separate room play. While it’s probably uncommon for a couple to only ever play separately, those that do should ideally mention it in their RHP profiles so as to avoid same room players contacting them. That’s just one combo that will never work!
If the separate room thing gets dropped on you at the last minute, but you and your partner are fairly flexible, then go with the flow. If you feel the need to ask why, then you may do so but only if you’re prepared to deal with whatever answer you get back. Without getting too dramatic, most couples who enjoy playing separately simply do so because they’re into one-on-one sex. They like building up some intimacy with just one other person rather than a gaggle of giggling swingers. Some people find it more relaxing not worrying about their partner. All good and valid reasons.
The only time you may wish to tread carefully is if the reason for separate play is very obviously grounded in emotional problems shared by the couple. The couple may enjoy having sex with other people but experience jealousy if they see or hear their partner having fun with someone else. This is probably a rare occurrence but if they seem a little too insistent on separating and it makes you and your partner uncomfortable, then politely explain that you’d at least like to start foreplay in the same room and gauge their reaction to that. Deciding to stay or leave can be based on that.

No Kissing (except between girls)

We’ve all read that many people view kissing as a far more intimate act than oral sex so it may come as no surprise that some couples don’t exchange kissing between the male and female partners. Nonetheless, for some couples who have enjoyed the full gamut of swinging experiences, the no-kiss rule quite possibly ends up being the most disappointing (except for girls as most couples seem OK with girl/girl kissing!). This is a personal choice that some couples make. They may really cherish kissing each other so much that the thought of kissing someone else seems strange or wrong. Other couples simply wish to keep something special between the two of them but are happy to do everything else imaginable sexually.
If a couple is adamant that no kisses are to be exchanged then you need to decide if that will impinge on your sexual enjoyment. If you feel the encounter will end up feeling impersonal or mechanical then you may need to explain that you require kissing in order to enjoy the sex. With any luck, non-kissing couples will have specified their preferences in their profile or mentioned at the socialising stage.

Rules Are Meant To Be Broken

Quite often a couple will have a number of rules they’ll rattle off to their potential playmates which is a good thing except when every one of those rules gets broken (by the rule makers) during the throes of sexual passion. It’s confusing but at the same time very exciting. Perhaps that’s the point?
It may feel quite naughty to break rules but couples who do this should understand that it’s also messing with other people’s minds. It might seem fun to tell someone something is off-limits and then spend the whole night teasing them with the forbidden fruit but you can only play that game so far and so often.
If this is the sort of thing you enjoy doing then it may be best to do it with a couple you’ve gotten to know fairly well so that they know this is your ‘thing’. Those who don’t know you that well will either feel terrible for breaking your rule (when all along you’ve wanted them to), or angry that they’re being toyed with. Rules should be taken reasonably seriously in the swinging scene. If you’re going to have them, make sure you have ones that are relevant and genuine and ensure that the rules are upheld by all concerned.

Miscellaneous Rules

The less obvious rules are the ones you need to explicitly state sometimes. While safe sex should be a must with swinging couples and swingles, you may from time to time encounter couples who assume barebacking is OK. If your stance on safe sex is written in stone then you must make this clear well before you get to the critical moment. In the heat of passion many people easily forget about condoms so the safe sex talk should be had as soon as intercourse is imminent. If the other party suggests that they don’t practice safe sex or the male partner says he can’t perform with a condom, it may be time to go back to your own partner or wind the night up. If you are pro-safe sex, then stick to this rule!
You may also have some strict rules on alcohol consumption and recreational drugs, as well as rules related to where you choose to play (ie – only at hotels etc.) and sexual orientation. If these are important to you and you don’t believe that your views are shared as common sense by a couple you’re considering playing with, ensure that you discuss those matters well before booking a room.

Are We Weird For Not Having Rules?

If you’re a fairly easy going couple with a good deal of swinging common sense, you probably won’t need to have any specific rules. You’ll no doubt be able to deal with minor issues on the fly and continue on to have a fun night.
However, while you don’t want to cloud your swinging experiences with a list of dos and don’ts, it wouldn’t hurt to be mindful of discussing things with your partner before any issues come up. If your otherwise straight male partner had an unexpected bisexual experience one night, which you aren’t comfortable with for one reason or another, it is better to discuss those feelings and putting some rules in place before something similar happens again. It may be as simple as giving your partner some warning that you’d like to try something new or knowing you have to have clear permission beforehand. It may take some spontaneity out of your encounters but once new rules becomes a part of your swinging common sense, you probably won’t even think of them as rules. It’s just the way you roll!