Finally, the winter chills are coming to an end. The days are getting longer, the flowers are blooming and most telling, the hot pants are making a come back in a big way. Oh yeah! Though it is early days of spring yet and hardly ideal beach weather, except for the most diehard of surfers, it is time to start thinking about losing the winter insulation and toning up for that killer beach body. Now whilst RedHotPie recommends a healthy lifestyle of regular exercise and correct diet, we would like to direct your attention to a often underrated cardiovascular workout that now has the backing of the National Health Service: Sex.
The British Health Service has come around to our line of thinking and has advocated regular sex as an effective way of reducing health risk and increasing physical and mental wellbeing. In a recent academic article released by the National Health Service entitled ‘Get More Than Zeds in the Bed’ they state that sex, with a little bit or passion and imagination thrown in, provides a workout worthy of any honed athlete. “Forget about jogging around the block or struggling with sit-ups. Sex uses every muscle group, gets the heart and lungs working hard, and burns about 300 calories and hour. Wow! That equates to the calories consumed in a large chocolate mud cake. Mmm, I guess that means you can have your cake and eat it too.
Apart from the fitness aspect, there are also other health benefits that will help you to stay looking young. The increased production of endorphins released in the love making process ‘will make your hair shine and your skin smooth.’ And ‘if you’re worried about wrinkles – orgasms even help prevent frown lines from deepening.’ The extra production of hormones estrogen and testosterone ‘will keep your bones and muscles healthy, leaving you feeling fabulous inside and out.’
So if you want to look your best this summer, RedHotPie suggests hooking up online now with other hot members and literally shaking that ass into shape in the bedroom for that killer bod.
To get you started RedHotPie has compiled a list of benchmarks:
a) 1 hr. intensive foreplay burns off:
1 (large) chocolate cake.
b) 25 min. nonstop lovemaking burns off:
2 slices of pizza with cheese and mushrooms.
c) 53 min. of kissing partner burns off:
1 cheeseburger with chips.
d) MAKING THE FIRST MOVE
If you are shy: 15cal
If you are anxious: 43cal
If you beg: 100cal
e) REMOVING CLOTHES
Removing your own: 12cal
Removing your partners with cooperation: 20cal
Without partner‘s cooperation: 187cal
Removing socks by violently shaking feet: 200cal
f) ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE
Expression didn‘t change: 0.5cal
Shoes flew off: 15cal
Room turned purple: 4cal
Face turned purple: 78cal
Moaning in Yiddish: 200cal
g) TAKING A BATH TOGETHER
In a bath: 10cal
In a jacuzzi: go back to stage d) and start it all over again.
h)After Sex talk:
After sex bed talk: 8cal
Pretending your interested in the after sex bed talk: 20cal
Being discovered by your partner’s parents and forced to jump out the window and escape down the street butt naked: 300cal
