Sock, jocks and gift certificates… ya-awn! How predictable has Christmas become? Why not spice it up a bit this year and get a little risqué, a little sexy, a little naughty?

Now before you set off to the stores with the blood quickly rushing to your tingly bits let’s look at your options: You could get your lover the horse-scale dong but would something so in-your-face be all that sexy? Well ok maybe it would but let’s see if we can’t stretch our imaginations a little further, ensuring a saucy gift that will excite both giver and receiver.

The Basket
For the picky shoppers out there, why not throw all your eggs in one basket by getting your loved one something like… a basket! An adult gift basket can contain just about anything and can offer some variety which is of course the spice of life. We’re talking scented candles, massage oils, body paint, a lacy g-string and chocolate boobs etc. Anything you believe will help create the carnally infused atmosphere you’re chasing is a potential inclusion, so have fun with it. What you don’t like, you can always give out as prizes at your next naughty party 😉

The Game
After the Christmas lunch gorge has ended, someone inevitably pulls out the Parker Brothers board games producing little more than monotony and heavy eye-lids. After the last morsel of pudding disappears, why not send your folks packing, giving you and your lover some privacy and a chance to roll the dirty dice. Games like Nookii, the Karma Sutra playing cards or Monogamy will ensure you spend the afternoon eating more than just left-overs. Failing that, grab that empty bottle of champers and play a round of Spin the Bottle.

The Big Wet
Everyone’s got a spectacular story about that time they humped their partner stupid in the bath or spa right… well there’s no harm in encouraging a repeat performance. Throw a bath pack together; take some scented candles, bubble bath, nice cleansing gels, maybe a couple of heavy white robes and a little Barry White for good measure. Your partner will be wet before the first toe hits the water. Check your local adult stores to see if you can add a few fun bath toys too. Some vibrators are specifically made for underwater pleasuring.

9½ Weeks
You know the film, Mickey Rourke, Kim Basinger, some condiments and a swag of sadomasochistic abuse. Depending on your partner’s temperament maybe forego the abuse, but some carefully selected food items can make for quite the kitchen work out. The whip cream, the cherries, the chocolate sauce, the frozen bananas… the rest of this story writes itself. Try a Christmas theme and heat things up with brandy butter and candy canes.

Get Away
You know what’s great about dirty get-aways, the lack of pretext. You know you’re going to have lots of filthy sex, your partner knows you’re going to have lots of filthy sex, the complete assuredness of the venture makes the situation so damn horny it hurts… think about that when shopping for your baby… is that level of nudie fun worth the extra bucks you might spend on a pressie of this size? Of course it is. Get on the blower and book that b+b now, your pants will thank you for it.

Cinema
For the more liberal among us, the world of porn should not be overlooked. Would you rather spend the afternoon watching some ancient drivel about an angel getting its wings or would you prefer to snuggle up with your partner to watch Jenna Jameson getting reamed seven ways from Sunday? If you’re a stickler for context and the sense of occasion there are several Christmas themed adult productions available. Ho, ho, ho indeed!

A Swinging XXXmas Party
While most couples would undoubtedly be doing the family thing on Christmas Day, nothing should stop you from making your Christmas Eve a sexy occasion. After all, it’s your last chance to show Santa how naughty you are! Perhaps have a few saucy couples over for a dinner party with a difference. Suggest that your guests dress up in sexy lingerie or underwear for the table.
You can be crafty and liberate your Christmas crackers of all its usual naff content and replace them with condoms, naughty jokes and the like. Serve up as many finger foods (think tapas style) as possible to encourage mutual hand feeding and finger licking. You can set aside some fresh strawberries and cream for dessert but I doubt you’d all last that long and retired to err.. rest… 😉

So there are a few ideas to get you away from the standard items usually filling the stockings on Christmas morning. Think outside the box and don’t be afraid to be a little brash, sometimes the dirtier the thought the greater the return. Don’t forget – your lust and affection for your partner is ultimately an affirmation of their importance and worth to you; now if that doesn’t fill them with Christmas cheer something’s wrong.

Merry XXXmas!!