Ah yes. It’s Valentine’s Day, the most romantic day of the year! With any luck you will have made plans for this day way in advance to guarantee yourselves some hot loving tonight. No? You forgot? Then best we suggest some ways for you to make amends ASAP and find the perfect V Day solution for the time-poor.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to show how much of a creative sort you are. You needn’t spend vast amounts of money to woo your partner. All you need is something fun and easy to show your loved one that you are still there for a reason (and not because Jessica Alba hasn’t noticed you yet). Whether you are reigniting a fire or just fanning the flames, there are plenty of things to do together to create a sexy Valentine’s Day.

First and foremost, one of the simplest gifts and often the most effective is a gorgeous bunch of flowers. And don’t think that guys don’t like receiving a nice bouquet. Perhaps not a conventional gift for a guy but one they can still appreciate. Maybe you could sticky tape some condoms to the petals to remind him exactly of what’s coming if he plays his cards right! Now fellas, when I say a bouquet of flowers, let’s think outside the square of the whole red roses thing. Of course your lady won’t be too upset when you arrive with a dozen or more but let’s pretend for a minute we are putting some thought into this. Instead of the usual, how about giving a huge burst of sunflowers to your girl? Or maybe even some hand picked daisies and some cellophane. Getting too difficult? What’s cellophane I hear you cry?! Dear me… How about a lovely boxed gerbera then? It’s a gift that will last a bit longer than cut flowers provided you’re not completely useless with plants.

Freaking out already? Well relax. One gift that’s a favourite for either sex is the tried and trusted massage. All you need is some baby oil, candlelight and your body. It’s up to you if you want to concentrate on the front, back, feet or the entire vessel, but most important thing is to not to forget the happy ending.

Firstly have your partner bathe with or without (yes I mentioned you may have to run the bath) making sure there are candles and music to help with the relaxation. You may want to add some bubble bath, oils, salts or shower gel if you’re desperate to get them to wind down. Once you’re finished in the bathroom and have prepared the bed, get your partner to lay on either their front or back depending on where you are going to massage first. I suggest the back first and the front last, as if all goes well, you will be massaging some nether regions by the end of it.

Get some of that baby oil on your hands and start exploring. Keep a towel or two handy as this can be messy. There’s no need to turn into ‘Sven the Swedish masseur’. Just being touched can feel amazing. Start slowly and gently to begin with and increase the pressure as you go. If you get really confident you may wish to disrobe yourself and give them a body slide. Oil yourself up well and hover your body over theirs. Then bring yourself down and move across them, massaging their body with your own.

Get creative with your body. Use your palms and nails and tongue and mouth to stimulate and caress your partner. And no one said there should be any off limits areas…so do what you will when your partner is in a relaxed state of bliss.

Further to the massage, it could be the perfect time to whip out the body chocolate you haven’t used yet. Don’t have any? Nutella works wonders or if you start thinking in terms of kitchen goods, you may want to try honey, peanut butter (for the more adventurous), whipped cream, a juicy fruit or anything else that gets your tastebuds tingling.

It could also be the perfect opportunity to have your own porn screening or (romantic movie if you prefer). Select your favourite romantic or dirty movies, make some popcorn, set the lounge room or bedroom up with comfy pillows and enjoy yourselves with some takeaway food and some wine. You may even want to act out some scenes later in the evening.

Whatever it is you do this 14th make sure you’re doing something hot and remember: RedHotPie loves you!