Physical intimacy between men and women is curiously inharmonious. Men and women have very different sexual responses.
Male sexual response: Men need to get physical to open up and emotionally connect with their partner.
Female sexual response: Women need to feel emotionally connected to their partner before opening up physically.
How do we make relationships work when our physical intimacy responses are exactly opposites? Wouldn’t this then lead to long-term relationships ending in resentful and sexless pairings?
Some relationships wind up succumbing to resentful and sexless affairs, but the truth is they needn’t. Bridging this opposing approach to intimacy is not impossible, all it requires, is to understand each other’s sexual responses.
What is the secret to a long, healthy sex life? A husband’s ability to turn his partner on, lads, it’s also knowing what turns her off too.
If you are doing these 5 unsexy things men do that turn women off sex and kill the mood, it’s time you stopped as they might be the reason things went from hot to not.
1. You don’t look after yourself
Human bodies change through the years and we all accept that. All it takes, is to show you are making an effort at maintaining your appearance. This signals to your partner that they are worth making an effort for.
2. Groping her is a big NO
Randomly groping her boobs or ass does not cause her to like or love you more, it often can be irritating. Neither does touching her only when you want sex work toward building intimacy.
Intimacy can be cultivated in many ways, such as spending quality time together, enjoying physical, non-sexual contact, or enjoying shared interests and listening to each other. Sex is only one way in which people give and receive love, so although it is very important, it is not the only way to develop or express intimacy.
Lads this is what you need to take from this: Intimacy for women starts way before she has made her way into the bedroom. Genuinely compliment her, help her out with house chores, whisper sweet nothings into her ears, cuddle her and kiss her without sexual intent. These will make her feel loved, appreciated and valued and now is she truly geared for more.
3. Avoiding foreplay
There have been studies that showed 75% women can’t orgasm from vaginal sex alone, which makes foreplay ultimately the number one skill for any man to be considered a good and considered lover.
Apart from this obvious element, there is one that is most important to any woman’s desire – her mind.
Men get turned on with their eyes, and women get turned on with their ears and mind. Women need to feel heard, to feel loved, to feel safe, valued, desired and vulnerable for physical intimacy.
While all the above is true, women have a role in being open to sex. To nurture this sexual openness in your partner the best thing you can do as a man is to continuously reassure her of your love and your desire for her.
4. Learn what pleases your partner
We are all different and what turns one woman on might be another’s turn-off. Find out what your partner’s turn-ons and turn-offs are. Real intimacy and great sex only happens when both are enjoying yourselves.
Ensure that she’s as aroused as you are and that she achieves her orgasms too.
5. Learn to take rejection
Getting angry, sulking or giving your partner the silent treatment after she turns you down is only going to cement your sexless relationship rut.
This is probably the hardest thing to navigate in a relationship. Nobody likes to be rejected, it hurts and is ego deflating, but occasionally your partner has the right to say “no” to sex.
If it happens all the time, it’s a problem you both need to address. However, if it happens ever so often, as she might not be in the mood, then making her feel bad will make her feel resentful. Feelings of resent never lead to a hot, sexy fun.
Occasionally, she might go with the flow, because we all know that no one can bring their A game every single time.
Sex is a wonderful part of any relationship and the husband who knows his wife deeply and understands his wife’s dynamics of intimacy will enjoy a wonderful life of intimacy and sex. When you build her intimacy it will lead to sex and sex will lead to intimacy.
Unlike you, your wife needs to feel emotionally connected to you before she is able to physically express it. So, the most important thing you can do to make sure your wife feels turned on and desires you, is making sure your marriage, outside the bedroom, is in a good place.
What has worked in your relationship to increase intimacy and sex? Please share in the comments section below.
