It’s a fast world we live in; damn fast. Never has there been an age such as this, and never have humans had to adapt so quickly to their surroundings. How are we growing, how are we coping and how are we relating? On what levels are we connecting with each other in a time where a smile has been replaced by emoticons and handshakes by text messaging?

Well there is a fair argument to say that men and women have never been further apart and as the ancient art of speak seems to become more and more fractured with each new blogging site, the act of engaging a potential partner in real life grows harder by the day.

So it’s time for some old school communication pointers, the big five for each sex. What women want to hear and just as importantly, what men want to hear…

What women want to hear

Compliments

Easy… you look incredible. Not hard right? No it’s not hard, so be sure to notice when your girl does something with their hair or wears those new shoes she bought. You don’t have to go over the top but you do have to be sincere, or at least sell sincere. Just a casual off the cuff compliment can lift your ladies spirits immeasurably which, of course, can only be good for you.

Be Jealous

Now we’re not suggesting you start glassing randoms who glance fleetingly in your ladies direction, but every now and then flex your muscles a touch. If your partner is chatting with another guy, be sure to ask who he was. Use humour as women will read through it anyway, so you can avoid the heavy vibes and still get the benefit. Your girl will appreciate that you care enough to be protective of her and your relationship.

Enquire

They say women want good listeners but if you’re one of those A+ kinda cats who have to go for gold then here’s the next level. Not only should you listen but follow it up with a few questions… “Really, your boss said that? So what did you do?” You’re most likely going to get the whole story anyway so why not play a part in its telling and connect with your lady; it will make her day and your night.

Long term

You don’t have to hit the mortgage broker circuit just yet but it doesn’t hurt to let your partner know that you have semi-long term intentions for the relationship. Again, it’s not about marriage or kids but simple ideas; things like a concert coming up in a few months you could both attend or a holiday together next year, can give your girl a feeling of security which will lead to a more relaxed and giving partner… and who doesn’t like a giving partner?

The Effect she has on you

This is the cunning second cousin of the compliment, it’s like saying she’s pretty but taking it a couple of steps further by telling her what that does to you. A woman will never feel more desired than when her man says how crazy hot she makes him. A few lines like “I just about explode looking at you” or “I couldn’t get those legs out of my mind all day” will remind her of the sexy power she has and most likely encourage her to wield it generously.

For Men

Compliments

Yes, not many men will admit to it but they are compliment hounds lust like the girls. Telling your man how sexy his hair is or how much you like the new shirt he bought will put a little spring in his step. You can always man it up some saying how much you like the new spoiler kit on the Commodore but the fact that you’re trying is the main thing.

Help me

“Here let me help you with that little lady”… never will a man have his chest sprouted further out than when mumbling those words. Think about it, three million years back men could just club a mountain lion and feel good about their place in the world, however thanks to microwave dinners and mace, the traditional male duties of providing for and protecting have been made somewhat redundant. So every now and then, throw him a jar with a stubborn lid or ask for something from the very high shelf. He’ll moan about it but inside he’ll be rainbows and puppies.

I’m impressed

Sure, men can be unfocussed buffoons who won’t notice a hair change short of a buzz cut, but sometimes it will be worth rising above the inequality to pay some attention to changes in their world. If your man’s been hitting the gym, mention it – “You’re arms look bigger hey”. Or if he has a crack in the kitchen don’t afraid to praise his cheese on toast abilities… don’t do it and you’ll be cutting your own Kraft from now on.

I want you

As we’ve established, men like compliments too and kind words don’t come any hotter than “I want you”. Any guy will heat up when told the female of the species is aroused by his mere existence and he’ll do just about anything to realise the potential of that remark. Don’t be afraid to play it cheeky; so you’re in the hair care aisle at Woolies, tell him that the way he’s fondling that Pantene bottle has your heart racing. Watch how task orientated he’ll be for the next twenty minutes.

Dirty Talk

Ok girls, this is pretty much the holy grail, the old saying goes men want a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room and a whore in the bedroom; well I’ve got some welcome news for you, you only have to sound like a whore… unless you’re that way inclined of course. A few carefully chosen and passionately delivered blue streaks can have a man bouncing of walls igniting all he touches. There is nothing hotter than a nice girl turned bad, even if it’s only for a few minutes, so don’t be afraid to let loose the hellish demons of profanity, the ride you receive will be more than worth it.