Women are becoming more open with their thoughts about it and many women are increasingly more comfortable exploring this fantasy.

Keep in mind that, every woman is different and some will love DP and others won’t. It really depends on personal preference for each woman and what stirs her sexual desires.

DP isn’t for everyone, but master this erotic sex move and you could seriously up your orgasm game.

A woman’s body is designed to receive and accommodate pleasure with endless possibilities. Take DP, whether it’s vag or vag and anal, many women love the pleasure they can achieve through this sex act.

A vagina is made up of ton of muscles, which are made to stretch. Fisting, large toy play and DP can be enjoyed if you are patient with your body and have realistic expectations.

If you think you want to give this fantasy a go, remember that it takes time to learn any form of pleasure. First, you need to feel comfortable and then you need to teach your body to re-learn a new form of receiving pleasure.

Start Small

While trying anything new it’s important to remember to go slow and do your prep work. Be well lubricated, very aroused and practice until it all feels right for you.
Start with a small toy, or fingers and then move to a bigger toy or to having two toys or maybe your partner and a toy inside you.

Practice

DP is a sex act that can lead to mind blowing orgasms but before then you need to practice getting your body familiar to it.

For women penetration through thrusting rhythmically is pleasurable as is the feeling of fullness and having multiple partners. The sensation of feeling full or stretch can create an amazing and intense sensation of pleasure.

Pleasure is pleasure, no matter in what form or style it is achieved. There are things that will get your juices going and others that will leave you feeling like a dry leaf.

Every body is different! But go slow, see what works and what doesn’t, and be patient.

Don’t knock DP until you’ve tried it…

So begins chapter one of therapist Susan Pease Gadoua and journalist Vicki Larson’s new book The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels, which challenges readers to consider alternate marital agreements in a world where lovers live together without tying the knot, more couples are having children out of wedlock and about half of all marriages end in divorce.

“Rather than continue to encourage people to cram themselves into an old model that isn’t working for many — about one out of two marriages ends in divorce — we want to acknowledge what’s already happening and encourage you to think about new ways to marry,” the authors write.

The book, which hit shelves in late September, offers up seven models of alternate marriages for modern couples to consider. This is an adapted excerpt about open marriages:

“Bryce readily admits that he isn’t cut out for monogamy. When he met Dana, he was thrilled that she was open to inviting another lover into their bed. While they were dating, this couple in their thirties had threesomes, and they even swapped partners on their wedding night six years ago.

In their first two years of marriage, the Pennsylvania couple had sex with others together. Then they talked about having sex with others separately. They felt like they were in a good place, that they trusted each other, and had confidence to explore. But like many others in open relationships, they had rules — the sex was always safe, there were no sleepovers, and every arrangement was to be agreed to beforehand.

Their extramarital romps are just about sex, period; they’re not looking to forge relationships and explore deeper intimacy with others. Their goal is to recognise and celebrate each other’s needs. “We want each other to be happy, and we know sometimes either one of us might want to have a sexual experience with somebody else that would make us happy. For me, that’s what it’s all about,” Dana says.

What about you? Where would you draw the line on celebrating your partner’s sexual needs and happiness — or your own? Most people don’t question whether they’re really suited for monogamy or not, as Bryce and Dana have. Even though people today are growing up in more diverse families than ever before and are much more open to and accepting of broader views of gender and sexuality than generations past, society still tends to view non-monogamous relationships negatively.

Just look at the language that’s used to talk about it. Those who engage in it are either promiscuous, putting themselves and others at risk of sexually transmitted diseases, or cheaters, with a breakup being the expected outcome once an affair is discovered. It’s all about diseases, betrayal, secrecy, and deception.

There are scant positive models of healthy non-monogamous relationships, and so monogamy is generally not considered a choice but a given. Once a couple commits to each other, sexual exclusivity is expected and assumed — for now and forever. Is that a reasonable expectation? Is monogamy willingly embraced or just endured?

Brad and Kira, who got married in their early twenties, have also learned valuable lessons from their foray into non-monogamy. Less than two years into their marriage, Kira felt a strong attraction to a co-worker. It wasn’t much of a surprise to Brad because Kira had been a virgin when the couple met in college.

It was Kira’s suggestion that they open up their marriage. Having an affair wasn’t an option. She didn’t want to hurt Brad — she loved him — and she didn’t want to lie to him. She had seen how infidelity damaged her own family growing up. So, she read the writings of philosopher Bertrand Russell, a proponent of open marriage, and found the language to suggest that they bust free from monogamy.

After their exploration ended, Kira says she realised how happy she is to be in a monogamous relationship. Juggling schedules took a lot of work, and, a few times, she felt like she was becoming emotionally attached to her lovers, which “seemed kind of dangerous,” she admits.

Still, they believe there was something incredibly brave and empowering about their decision; a “badge of courage,” is how Kira describes it. They learned that they could make up their own rules and take risks in their relationship, and, frankly, doing something different than the mainstream together — without any deception — was exciting.

“Our sex life was better because we felt invigorated,” Brad says. “We found each other very compelling because we were both embarking on this experiment and it takes a certain kind of bravery, and we found that attractive in each other and ourselves.”

Bella also was a virgin when she met Ted. They married when she was just twenty, as many women from the south of America do. Thirty years into their forty-five-year childfree marriage, she experienced a series of family deaths. Then 9/11 happened. The fragility of life startled her, and she began to reflect on the things she missed out on by marrying so young.

They went to a few workshops on threesomes, and one day found themselves in bed with another man. Then they went to a sex club as part of an intimate group of friends and had a few more threesomes, together and separately. For a trip abroad, Bella got a hall pass and spent a glorious night with a much younger man.

But Ted never really felt 100 per cent comfortable with their experimentations. “He’s a one-woman man,” Bella sighs. So after a little more than two years of sexual play, they returned to monogamy.

Still, their brief journey into an open marriage transformed their relationship for the better. “It’s actually made us more open to other kinds of non-sexual experiences. We do a lot more social stuff than we used to do,” Bella says.

For whom does consensual non-monogamy work? Kira says it’s important to have confidence in yourself, believe in what you’re doing, and know your boundaries. Being outgoing helps.

“For a lot of people, it doesn’t even occur to them that they can be anything other than monogamous, and they get into a situation and then realise they maybe feel differently. I also feel monogamy can be dangerous even without sleeping with other people. Just having a sense of your own sexuality, being attracted to other people, being able to flirt with other people; when you can’t do that, it just shuts down a part of you. It changes who you are in your marriage and so long-term, that can be really damaging,” she told us.

Source: news.com.au

Got a story to share about open marriage, or open relationships? Tell us in the comments section below!

Before arranging a meet

I strongly suggest that you talk to the female half of the couple, or ideally talk to both halves of the couple! This ensures that you all have a bit of common ground, are all interested and compatible (to a degree) and you have some knowledge about them both before organizing a meet. Not only is this a safety precaution, but it will give you a bit of a heads up of what to expect from the meet and an idea of what they are after.

Make your preferences known

Are you interested in just the male half of the couple? Or just the female half? Or equally interested in both?
Are you looking for social friends? Or friends with benefits? Or a one-off encounter?

Make sure that you know what you want – both from the date and future meets if things progress – so that your intentions are completely clear from the get-go. Be sure to be upfront and honest with the couple. No one wants to feel like their time has been wasted and you certainly don’t want to waste your own when you realize that the three of you weren’t quite on the same page. See our next point…

Get on the same page

Besides knowing what you want yourself, you need to communicate this clearly to all parties before meeting. So firstly have a chat about what the meet will and won’t entail i.e. social meet only, meet and see where it goes, play meet etc. Make sure that all three of you are going into the meet with the same expectations to ensure that there are no mixed signals and no awkward moments. Let them know what it is that you are looking for long-term, in terms of whether it is an ongoing friendship that you seek, a one-off (or repeat) play experience etc.

Relax!

Yes, it can be daunting if you look at it as two against one, but the dynamic of a threeway social (or otherwise) meet can be so much fun! You’ll find that conversation can flow more effortlessly than some one-on-one encounters as you’ve got another person there to contribute to the conversation and bounce off. As well as this, it really is the best of both worlds. You can make social friends and potential sexy friends that meet all of your needs at once.

Don’t be biased

Regardless of which half of the couple (if either) you are more interested in or feel like you hit it off with to begin with, try not to leave one half of the couple out of the conversation. Be sure to share your attention as equally as possible between the two to ensure that there are no hurt feelings. No one likes to feel like a third wheel.

Enjoy yourself!

Last – but certainly not least – enjoy yourself! Don’t look at it as a two-against-one situation where you are coming in as the unknown quantity. Whilst this is true to an extent, look at it in a positive light: you’re the exciting new entity with the opportunity to meet two new people that could become really great friends if you all hit it off. Whether it’s more (or less) than that is totally in your hands. The possibilities are endless.

Interested in reading more?

Check out the member forums and see what other RedHotPie members had to say about overcoming those first meet nerves and taking the plunge:

Time Wasting
Meet Ups

Do you have any tips for meeting a couple for the first time as a single? Please let us know in the comments below!

She was even happier to learn that she had that hard-to-find thing with both Matt and Rachel — chemistry. They talked about life and love and learned that they had the same ideas when it came to dating.

“I was really excited to meet people that felt the same way,” she says of her ongoing relationship with the married couple, both 34-year-old self-employed artists, who declined to use their last names because of privacy reasons.

Ezzo, also an artist, is polyamorous. Loosely speaking, she seriously dates more than one person at a time, and has an emotional, as well as a sexual connection, with her partners.

She sees Matt and Rachel separately and together, and also occasionally dates other people.

“One of the wonderful aspects of polyamory is that you do get different things from different partners, both emotionally and physically,” says Ezzo, who is in what’s known as a “triad” with Matt and Rachel.

“There are three very different dynamics, all of which are personally valuable.”

And while the arrangement may seem unusual, Ezzo insists it’s really no different than run-of-the-mill monogamy. Communication and compromise are key — for instance, when it comes to picking a flick to watch for the evening.

“They have very different styles in movies,” says Ezzo, who splits her time between New York and Boston, where she is going to school for photography at the Art Institute of Boston. “When I’m with Rachel we might [watch] a silly, fun ’80s movie, but I won’t do that silly ’80s movie with Matt. He likes strange horror flicks.”

Luckily, she says, “I like both of those things.”

Ezzo is part of a growing movement of people who are practicing consensual non-monogamy — or, in plain English, open relationships.

According to Gette Levy of Open Love NY, a local support group with more than 1,000 members, the organization has seen a steady increase in membership since forming in 2009.

“Dating has changed over the past 50 years,” says Levy. “Many adults of all ages are finding that monogamy does not suit them and is no longer a fiscal and social requirement.”

Shortly after she started seeing Matt and Rachel, Ezzo met her future husband.

“I had told him [about my lifestyle] on our first date,” she says. “He was excited to explore it.”

Her open marriage eventually fizzled for reasons not related to polyamory, but her relationship with Matt and Rachel is still going strong.

“I’ve always inherently had this notion of or had this blurred line between friendship and lovers … to me there is a huge overlap. It’s easier for me to simultaneously love multiple people,” says Ezzo.

“As a bi-sexual person, choosing is not necessarily something that I personally like to do,” she adds.

Pop-culture is having a poly moment too: TV shows like “Sister Wives” (Sundays on TLC) and “Polyamory: Married & Dating” (Thursdays on Showtime) are giving people a glimpse into the complicated sex lives of multi-partnered couples.

“The interest and the visibility around open relationships has just skyrocketed,” says sexpert Tristan Taormino, who wrote a book about the subject, “Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.”

“We’re having these discussions in really mainstream media that just weren’t even possible two years ago,” adds Taormino, who points out that her book actually sold more copies last year than it did during its 2008 debut.

Open relationships are becoming so common that when singer Robin Thicke gripped Lana Scolaro’s barely covered butt at a VMA afterparty at 1OAK last month, his indiscretion reportedly didn’t get him into trouble with his actress wife Paula Patton.

“We’ve done just about everything,” Thicke said of his unconventional relationship to Howard Stern in July. Still, he stopped short of saying he and his wife were in an open marriage: “Out of respect for her, we just won’t answer that one.”

Will and Jada Smith, Mo’Nique, Tilda Swinton and even Dolly Parton and her husband have all been rumored to be in open relationships too.

But perhaps the lifestyle’s most visible celebrity moment came in January 2012, when Marianne Gingrich told ABC News that her ex-husband, the politician Newt Gingrich, had asked for an “open marriage” while having an affair with his soon-to-be third wife Callista. (Newt Gingrich has given several extensive denials regarding his ex-wife’s claims.)

It’s not just horny men with insecure wives looking the other way who are in non-monogamous relationships — often, women are the ones who instigate the practice.

Several studies by sex researchers in Germany and in the University of Wisconsin have shown that it is often women who become bored romantically after several years in a monogamous relationship.

Violet, a New York City higher education teacher, 49, would only speak to The Post under a pseudonym. (She says her friends know about her life style but some of her adult students might be shocked.)

“The way I describe it on my dating profile is about the best I can do: I just didn’t get the memo about not dating,” she says.

Violet’s love life is the stuff of telenovelas: She has been in a marriage with a man for 10 years. Her husband has a girlfriend of three years. Violet is also dating a man and a woman who date each other but, unlike Ezzo, she only sees each person in the couple separately, never together. And she goes on dates outside of her regular relationships.

In a twist, her husband’s family knows about his girlfriend and the trio often go to family functions together.

Violet focuses on her two other partners when her husband is traveling; when he is home, “I will usually spend maybe one or two nights with somebody else.” Her husband’s long-term girlfriend lives out of state, she explains, so he’ll go spend a week with her at a time.

“It all comes out in the wash,” she says.

Violet, for whom sex is a “big priority,” prefers three lovers because the arrangement “keeps me from becoming a burden on any single one of them.”

“There is crazy, wild sex and lots of it, and that’s important to me, but it’s not all there is to my love affairs — not by a long shot,” says Violet.

Unexpectedly, the biggest difficulty people in non-monogamous relationships encounter isn’t jealousy, but something way less dramatic.

“Time is the real thing,” says Taormino, who is in an open marriage herself.

Ezzo’s partner Matt agrees: “The biggest misconception people have about open relationships is that it’s a nonstop party. We only have 24 hours in a day and most of that is taken up with work, sleep and responsibilities to the home and each other. To see someone else takes a lot of planning. We live by the calendar more than the bedroom.”

Another misconception? That there are no rules.

But when an open relationship involves long-term emotional connections with multiple partners, there are frequently more, not fewer, rules.

The marriage contract of the San Diego family featured in “Polyamory: Married & Dating” is nearly five pages long. Posted online, it has extremely specific codes of conduct ranging from when to talk about relationship problems (“No relationship processing after 9:30.”) to guidelines around dates (“Do not postpone or cancel a date with one partner to see someone else.”).

Even with all the complications of having multiple relationships, proponents believe it’s better than the alternative.

“I feel like monogamy sets us up to fail in so many ways….that this one person is going to meet all of our needs — emotional, sexual, physical, spiritual, financial, physical — and that’s impossible,” says Taormino.

“I think polyamorous people acknowledge that up front.”
Violet agrees — and counsels her female friends who are going through the trials of dating in New York to be more open-minded.

“They would go on a first date and they would hold some guy up to this ridiculous standard and I would tell them, ‘Look, just have fun. Date a bunch of people. Don’t have these expectations.’ ”

Looking to break free of monotonous monogamy?

Here’s a key to some of the most popular open-relationship styles. And remember, all are consensual — cheating is not kosher!

Open relationship: Umbrella term for any consensual non-monogamous relationship

Polygamy: Think “Big Love.” One spouse, many wives. Illegal.

Monogamish: Don’t-ask-don’t-tell sanctioned cheating in a monogamous relationship

Polyamory: Having a loving relationship — emotional and physical — with multiple people

Swinging: Hook-ups with no-strings attached

Have you ever been in an open relationship? How has it worked for you? Are you curious to try it? Let us know below!

Source: nypost.com

Some single guys haven’t contemplated actually ever realizing their fantasies; they are here to live out their sexual fantasies in the safety of their home; they’re looking for cyber-sex. Without a doubt these men should be truthful and explain themselves instead of wasting genuine people’s time. However, here lies the problem it’s in this blurring of the lines of reality and fantasy that they get their kicks. To be optimistic let’s describe them as – ‘work in progress’- eventually cyber-sex won’t be sufficient and they will venture out into reality.

Meanwhile, The big question is how do you identify the ‘Cyber guy’ vs. the real meet guy? One obvious factor would be, these men seek a lot of details on what is and is not going to happen should you meet, this is an obvious sign of their intent – not to meet but for you to entertain them. Try to have them call you instead if they do, that’s a reasonable sign that they might be genuine in their pursuits

Other single men do want to actually meet. However, due to inexperience or on the unfolding of the events they get cold feet. They start doubting whether they can meet your expectations. Or worse they’ve lied a little about their size, age and even what they can do. All of these start to take hold of them and then all their excitement becomes fear and yes they are going to let you down, at this stage not even naked Angelina Jolie will help them rise to the occasion.

There is also the male who is obviously confident and wants this experience. Sometimes little things upset the flow of events. Maybe someone is in a hurry to be thrashed and he hasn’t quite gotten there yet and the more he thinks about it the more nervous he gets; deflating as he ponders – How embarrassing!!!! Another scenario, no better than the first, he is so thrilled, excited and he cannot make it last. He didn’t mean to and he didn’t want to disappoint. Worse is that he can’t relax enough to get going again. However, not all is lost if all involved are willing they could make plans to meet again and laugh this first experience off. Second time round things can only improve!!!

Here are a few tips on how to make your experience with the single guy work for you.

1. Communication is important, exchange photos and then phone numbers, pick up the phone and call, have a little chat and get to know each other a bit.

2. Don’t create scenarios that are too perfect leave room for the unexpected things will most definitely vary from what you’ve imagined, after all we’re dealing with human beings.

3. Try to be open to anything, picture the worst-case scenario and be willing to give it a try again. Sometimes it takes a few times to get things right.

4. Remember the single men feels a bit nervous since he’s the outsider and this can be a bit intimidating.

5. Sometimes parties and ‘meet & greets” are good places to meet your prospective single male. Exchange numbers and/or set a place to meet for drinks.

6. Sometimes we forget that the aim of all this is to have fun, so keep it light. There are times when we come out winners and others when we learnt to deal with a new challenge. In any case, not all is lost. As a last resort, you can always hit the town together and have fun or stay in and make home porn.

7. DateFinder is a great way to find your single guy. Especially, if it is last minute and you are suddenly in the mood. DateFinder has a number guys waiting to be contacted for some fun on the night.

8. Validations: RedHotPie has this awesome validation feature where members can validate other genuine people they have actually met. Profiles with Validations should definitely be your top priority.

Obviously, there is no one-way to approach this. RHP readers are familiar with the article paralleling ‘Porn Sex vs. Real Life sex’, much the same, sexy encounters are sometimes a bit different from what you had in mind, not to say that is less fun. With every situation you have to make quick, intuitive decisions and the more practice you get the easier it gets.

What are the best approaches you’ve used that were successful when meeting single men?

For more on the subject read Redhotpie forum thread, single guy with couples.

THE Hill-Thompsons* are like any other young family expecting their first baby.

They’re buying maternity clobber on eBay, weeping during ultrasounds and giggling when the malapropistic midwife leading their prenatal classes advises them to gouge their birth companions carefully.

There is, however, one thing about the Hill-Thompsons that makes them a little unusual: there are three of them.

Mari (a 33-year-old student doing her second degree), Sara (a 32-year-old uni lecturer) and David (a 35-year-old IT geek) have been a sexually monogamous, three-way unit for six years.

They are not religious, they’re not cult members and they’re not even that into group sex.

They just happened to all fall in love with each other at roughly the same time.

For the most part, the Brisbane trio have kept the details of their polyamorous private life to themselves. But they are slowly coming out of the closet now Mari is eight months up the duff. Sara is also hoping to conceive in the not-too-distant future.

Telling people about their super-sized relationship is complicated by a lack of unloaded language options. Threesome sounds too sexy and there is no triplicate version of the word couple.

“Usually we just tell people there are three of us,” Mari says. “But polyfidelitous might be the best technical term.”

Polyamory, also known as ethical non-monogamy, is billed by many activists as the new gay; the next sexual revolution. It’s separate from swinging, in that (as the Latin root suggests) emotion is involved. Its also very different to religious polygamy such as that portrayed on the HBO TV show Big Love.

In short: more than two people, more than just sex, God optional.

Books, blogs and academic research into the practice are all rising, as is the predictable outrage from traditionalists and even from some non-traditionalists who say the trend muddies the gay marriage debate.

While a common joke is that the complexities of poly relationships leave little time for activism, in Canada on Monday the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association will begin fighting for group marriage rights in that nation’s supreme court.

“What they plan to say,” the Vancouver Sun has written, “is that polyamory is a more highly evolved form of family-conjugal relationship that is beneficial to all of its participants; the way of the future, if you will.”

The CPAA contends that at least two million Canadians live in polyamorous relationships, many belonging to what is known as the friends with benefits category.

It’s hard to know the number of polyamorists in Australia because for some reason the question isn’t asked on the census. There is, however, at least one in Britain.

Actress Tilda Swinton, 50, shares a house with playwright John Byrne, the 70-year-old father of her twins. Her other companion is 32-year-old Sandro Kopp, an artist she met while filming The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Kopp had a small role as a centaur.

“The arrangement is just so sane,’ Swinton has said. “John and I live here with our children, and Sandro is sometimes here with us, and we travel the world together. We are all a family.”

Byrne agrees, saying of Kopp: “We all love him dearly.”

Given the ubiquity of cheating spouses (there are now commercial websites devoted to facilitating marital infidelity), it seems grossly hypocritical to judge those who are open and ethical about having more than one lover.

But Mari, Sara and David endure way more than their fair share of rude and weird reactions. Their jog-as-a-family neighbours won’t wave back to them and Sara’s mum thinks she is some kind of insatiable, nymphomaniac adulteress.

“But dammit, we’re not freaks!” Sara says. “We’re not hurting anyone. And we have three earners, three minds to think through situations and now three people to care for a baby.”

The story of how the Hill-Thompsons came to be the Hill-Thompsons is long, complicated and, at times, tragic.

Mari and David are high school sweethearts who have been together for 16 years and married in 1999.

“My only other relationships were crushes on girls in my childhood,” David says. “I had never have thought I would find myself in a permanent three-way relationship until it happened.”

Mari and Sara bonded as friends in the late 90s after Mari was raped. Sara then ended up in an abusive marriage in Colombia before visiting Mari and David in Brisbane in 2004. She and Mari got together within days. Then things progressed.

“David found the term polyamory online,” Mari recalls. “I was really relieved to discover that there were other people who had found they could love more than one person at once.

“Sara had asked me lots of questions that I felt were very scientific: I had just wanted her to say she felt the same, and to kiss me!”

Six years later, negotiating life together still involves tricky logistics and sleep rosters. In the early days, they slept in a queen and a single bed pushed together with a lumpy piece of foam filling the gap and a couple of stitched-together sheets on top. Now they take it turns to sleep in twos, only slumbering altogether (sideways in a king-sized bed) a few times a week (pregnant bellies permitting).

“Our schedule has changed over the years and I am sure it will continue to change,” Mari says. “We also alter the sleeping rotation if anyone is likely to feel particularly lonely sleeping by themselves for whatever reason.”

As for sex, the gang tend to avoid the three musketeers approach in this domain, too.

“It takes a lot of brainpower to think about three people’s sexual pleasure and emotional states at once,” Sara says. “Having to think that hard makes sex difficult.”

Another intriguing aspect of the arrangement is Mari and Sara’s status as committed feminists. It certainly confounds assumptions that they are the hapless members of some sort of harem. After all, while some chauvinist types might think David is fortunate to share his life with two women, others might regard living with two feminists as involving two too many.

Life, meanwhile, goes on.

The triumvirate is attending hypnobirthing classes, negotiating who will stay home and who will work, and reading a book called Psycho Kitty in the hope of making their crazed cat baby-friendly.

And as they count down the days until the birth of little Kate next month, they are convinced that any stigma their daughter faces in the community will be well and truly countered by the 50 per cent increase in the usual loving parenthood quotient she will have at home.

Source: theaustralian.com.au

Myth #1: Single men are everywhere

For every couple who has ever received unwanted attention from single men on RedHotPie, it would seem that they exist in plague proportions. In reality, when it comes time to actually finding one, it seems there really aren’t as many eligible men out there as once imagined. Indeed, by the time a couple makes a checklist of what they would like out of a single guy, the massive pool of horny dudes becomes a manageable pond. This still seems hopeful but as more time is put into getting to know these guys, the pond shrinks into a puddle.
Over a one month course of trying to find Mr Right, the guys who match your checklist end up hooking up with a girlfriend (and does the right thing by her and politely declines your threesome invitation), goes overseas on a hiking expedition or the like, or starts a new job that puts him into fly-in/fly-out mode. For those that remain available, some genuinely can’t get their diary synchronised with yours, or some end up psyching themselves out of meeting you. Before you know it, your puddle has dried up and it’s time to go fishing in new waters again: if you’ve got the patience for it.

Myth #2: Guys on RedHotPie are hot and horny for it 24/7

Yes. RHP guys are hot and they are horny but most are not prepared to drop everything in order to ‘get some’. Let’s not forget that single guys are human beings with a life outside of RHP. No doubt there are some guys who would be willing to come around to service a couple with one swift booty call but in most cases we need to exercise some fairness to all concerned.
If you feel like having a spontaneous session late one night, chat up a guy who happens to be online on RHP and manage to get him to your front door within thirty minutes, then consider yourself lucky. However if the poor guy sounds keen but text messages you an hour later and says he can’t make it, try not to get too mad. Consider how you would feel if you were given an hour to meet complete strangers who expect you to perform sexually (you’re not inviting him over for a cup of tea, right?). Well shouldn’t he have said no in the beginning? Totally. But he’s a guy at the end of the day and got revved up by the concept of hot threesome sex. Sadly the organ in charge of logistics (ie – his brain) tapped him on the shoulder and reminded him that he has to get up early to fly out of the country the next day. What’s a guy to do?
In the meantime, you’re left feeling unfulfilled and vowing to take to every single guy with the rough end of a pineapple. We do feel your pain but we can only suggest that you don’t expect too much from spontaneous sessions. Like anyone, single guys need some time to clear their schedules. They might even prefer to go out for a drink first and (shock, horror) get to know you socially before doing the wild thing.

Myth #3: Single guys will hit anything. Anything!

There’s a sad misconception that all single guys are desperate and likely to fornicate with anything that has a willing orifice. If you as a couple have this mentality when seeking one of those horny beasts to join you, you may be in for a nasty shock. Single guys have tastes and preferences like anyone else on RHP. If you won’t have sex with just anyone, why would a single guy? Or do you want the sort of single guy who will tap absolutely anything?
This myth hasn’t been brought up to suggest that some couples are plain unattractive (we’re all hot here on RHP of course!) but more so to highlight the problem some men face when propositioned by a couple who doesn’t appeal to him sexually. He’s damned if he is honest (many guys subsequently receive a barrage of abuse for being a picky bastard) and damned if he remains silent, blocks the couple and hides under a rock for a while.
Should he offer to meet for drinks at least? Sure, but somehow this could be worse if he decides then not to go ahead with the threesome due to non-attraction.
For some reason, couples can take rejection by a single girl or couple better than by a single guy. Perhaps it’s because of the tendency to assume that single guys aren’t picky, and to have a guy reject you makes the lady feel pretty average and her hubby mad as hell. So what’s a guy to do? Have sex with someone he’s not 100% attracted to or get labelled a time-wasting bastard? Great options.

If there’s a lesson to be learned here, couples who are seeking a single guy should probably not go into the task thinking it’s a no-brainer. Yes, there are many great guys to choose from on RHP but the three myths busted above should give you some idea of how you should go about finding the right guy to fulfill your MFM fantasies.
Firstly, remember that single guys are human beings with normal, human thoughts, emotions and commitments. Many have stressful jobs, kids from previous relationships and amazing passions and past times that may come ahead of meeting couples for threesome fun.
If you’re simply after a spare penis for the night, then you’re welcome to view single guys as a commodity but don’t be surprised if those who respond to your invitation are equally mercenary in their pursuits. If this suits you to a tee then you need only send a mass of messages or replies to various guys and the odds are that you’ll get a few to come and play with you.
If however you’re more into quality and fancy actually meeting a guy who you could possibly even be mates with in the vertical world then it’s worth making the effort to find the right guy for you. Work out what you are seeking in a guy (ie – attached, unattached, bisexual, experienced in group sex, condom-friendly etc.) and do an Advanced Search to get your listing of suitable guys. From there you can see through pics and profile write-ups as to whether a guy is your type of person.
When organising to meet a guy, offer to meet with the guy socially first. Most guys will probably agree to playing right away but of those guys some will sadly get a bit freaked out (experienced in group sex or not, many guys fear performance issues). If you take sex off the table for the time being, you’ll all be relaxed and not under any pressure. If drinks go well then you can easily organise the rest.
To avoid ‘timewasters’, ensure that you have swapped photos and that all parties understand what the threesome is to involve or not, and are happy to meet up. You should insist on a phone number from the single guy or ask him to call you. A quick chat on the phone will ensure that all is well and genuine. There’s sadly nothing that can gauge how well a guy is going to perform in the threesome but it may help to ensure that everyone only drinks in moderation if you’re serious about getting it on properly.

She wants to have a threesome with him but starting with her using the strap-on on me and then blindfolding me. They want to then tie me up and make me guess who is penetrating me. I am very willing to experiment but don’t know if it will be to painful. Both the guy’s penis and the strap-on are about 7 to 8 inches and reasonably thick. Is it too big and will he fit it all in my anus? Is the anus deep enough for the hard and fast side of things? I really want to try it but just a little hesitant.

I think everyone who has tried anal sex will agree that if you are hesitant at all, you will not find the experience comfortable or pleasurable. The anal passage is not designed to take objects in so it’s very important to make sure you are very relaxed and well prepared. Having said that, if done the right way, you’ll be surprised how accommodating the anal passage is, especially with lube.
As much as your friend is keen to try a threesome, I would strongly suggest that you try experimenting with the strap-on just with her. If you are nervous about taking on a 7-8 inch strap-on, perhaps invest in a smaller, skinnier dildo to see how well you can take it. Make sure you have a lot of water-based lubricant on hand and get your friend to gently guide the dildo in. If this works well, then you can move on to the strap-on but I suggest just using it like a dildo also. If the larger size of the strap-on isn’t a problem for you either, your friend can strap up. Remember that your friend will not have any sense of how deep she is penetrating you other than seeing how much of the dildo is going in. You’ll need to tell her when the sensation is too deep for you.

Once you have explored the strap-on with your friend (and over time developed more trust), you can both look at bringing in the bi dude. You should have no trouble taking in a real penis (don’t forget condoms and lube) but unlike your friend, her male friend will be enjoying the sensation of being inside you and may thrust harder and faster. If you are concerned that the guy may go too deep, ask him to wrap a small towel around the base of his penis to prevent this. As for the extras, I would really consider letting your friend only blindfold you at this stage. It doesn’t sound like you know either your friend and her friend that well so being tied up may just have to be a treat reserved for when more trust is built. I would say the same for having your session videotaped.
Finally, don’t forget water-based lube!

Why Do We Want Ms Single?

Three is fun but isn’t four even more so? In which case, shouldn’t a couple just meet other couples for fun? It certainly is easier to arrange foursome fun but some couples simply want to reserve their bedroom for themselves and Ms Single.

It may be because the presence of another male in the bedroom repels the male partner of the couple. This reluctance can stem from his discomfort with another male being in close proximity during a sexual scenario, or it can arise from jealousy he feels at the thought of his partner being touched or even seen naked by another man. Conversely, it may be the female partner who has no desire at all to be sexually involved with a man other than her own partner, and is only seeking an FMF to fulfill her bisexual leanings.

For couples who are new to the idea of introducing extra people into their sex lives, a FMF threesome is often viewed as being the safe, or soft option, before gaining the confidence to progress to couples and single men. For some others, they just purely want to experience the hot intimacy of a threesome, be it an FMF or MFM. In Kylie’s case:

”I didn’t have anything against meeting couples but I am definitely more into girls than guys so I loved the idea of having a single girl over just for me to focus on, knowing my partner was the only guy around and I could tell him when and how he could join in. It took me a while to meet a girl but once I did, it was amazing.”

Impossible Dream?

It probably wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that for every actively participating single girl, there would be at least twenty couples looking for her. Why single girls are few and far between is simply answered by placing yourself in their shoes. If you were a single female, would you be willing to place yourself in a vulnerable situation with two strangers? Have a think about what you’re also asking from her: sex with one or both of you (preferably both) with no strings attached. It can be more than a little daunting for a lot of single ladies.

Also, it takes a woman who fantasises about being a ‘toy’ for a couple to consider a meeting, and more importantly, a whole lot of courage to go ahead with it. Take Tricia and Brad’s experience:

“Brad and I contacted a single girl called Janine who sounded hot. She was keen to be pampered and pleasured by two people and had no obvious hang-ups about sex. After swapping photos, we arranged to meet over coffee one afternoon. Just girls. The meeting went well so she agreed to come over to our place on the following weekend. Janine sounded excited about it right up until the night she was supposed to come over. But then, we got a text message from her saying that she couldn’t come around because of some problem with her car.”

After a lot of questioning by Tricia, Janine admitted that she was highly aroused by the idea of being in a threesome but as the reality dawned on her, it wasn’t something that she felt completely right about. Tricia and Brad’s experience is not unusual and not surprisingly, it leaves many people frustrated and suspicious of other single females supposedly looking for a good time.

When You Least Expect It The key issue seems to be the fact that when faced with the potential pressure of an organised a threesome, many people (not only single females) find it easier to not go all the way. It is therefore not surprising at all that many successful threesomes occur spontaneously with people a couple may have met prior to the event socially, which is what happened with Jo and Paul.

“Jo and I were at a wedding some time ago and we ran into an old school friend of Jo’s. I remember Jo enjoying the flirty catch-up and swapping numbers. She got a text from her a few nights later saying she was bored so Jo suggested she come over. Add a bottle of wine to that and the rest is history ”

How to Find Ms Single

We’ll assume that most couples don’t conveniently have a female flat mate/best friend/co-worker who they can get into a spontaneous threesome with. Naturally, if you do know someone who might be interested, then you can always investigate the possibility as long as your suggestions won’t cause offence.
For those who don’t know where to start, then RedHotPie is the best place to start. Many women are listed as seeking couples. If you’re replying to an ad, be mindful that you probably won’t be the first person to approach this single girl. Be friendly and honest about what you’re seeking, and with any luck, Ms Single will drop you a line back.

Parties and Events posted on RHP are also a great way to meet single ladies. Many girls enjoy a fun night out as a group so this could be the perfect opportunity for the female partner of a couple to mingle with singles. Get ready to jot down phone numbers!Alternatively, even if meeting couples is not the preferred option, it is still a good idea to network with other couples who may have a number of single girlfriends who are seeking to expand their circle of play friends. Finally, it is not uncommon for many couples who have formed close friendships to organise threesomes amongst themselves. Says Dean:

”My fiancee Emma hates being on her own while I am away overseas for work so when she told me that our swinging friends Mark and Michelle invited her for dinner one night (and they meant just dinner), I told her to go over on her own and get her own little party started. I trust Mark and Michelle so knew Emma would be in good hands. I got a huge hard on thinking about her being the centre of attention.”

What Is Ms Single Looking For?

It’s probably very important to consider the things that a single female is looking for in a couple. Since she has a fairly good selection of couples to choose from, it’s important to make your first impression last so you stand out from the rest.

A single female who is largely looking to explore her bisexuality probably won’t be too concerned about how the male partner looks (although I am sure she would like him to be a respectful, friendly person at least) in which case it is really up to the female partner to build a rapport with Ms Single. If there is a good amount of attraction between the two, there’s a good chance things will lead to a meeting and the rest can be worked out from there. Do keep in mind however that some single girls are not looking to play with the male partner of a couple at all but is happy for him to be present while she gets it on with the female partner. If this suits you as a couple, then it’s a win/win situation!

For couples who are ideally seeking a single female who wants to devour both partners sexually, you are in for some hard work. Without mincing words, unless Ms Single has an overwhelming attraction to one or both of you, she will happily move on to the next couple that approaches her for assessment. Take Nina’s experience:

”I was getting to know a couple on RHP with view to meeting up for coffee but without sounding shallow, I took one look at the guy and couldn’t go through with it. The girl from the couple was awesomely hot but other than her man being not my type, he also came across as an arrogant macho pig who wanted two women to pleasure him. I offered to meet her on her own or perhaps play while he watched but they didn’t want that. In the end I ended up meeting a couple who were less fixated on the threesome and treated me more like a friend.”

Try and be balanced in your approach with single girls. Do make an effort to find out what she is after from the beginning rather than try and sway her into your ideal threesome plans. Single girls also appreciate confident, friendly couples who don’t reek of desperation (yes, this seems to happen with couples as much as guys). Especially if she is new to meeting couples, she would feel more comfortable being guided gently by people who want to be her friend, rather than prodded and pushed like a play thing.

Find out what our members think about this topic in the adult forums!
‘Single woman looking for couples.’ Read it here

Swinging has been described as a form of recreational social sex between consenting adults, usually consisting of mixed (male and female) couples of various sexual orientation meeting other such couples for fun both in and out of the bedroom. Some couples may only seek sexual relations, but many prefer to develop a firm friendship with sexual shenanigans seen as a bonus. Indeed, there are no black or white rules in terms of what swinging couples engage in.

Swinging Steps

Swinging (often referred to as ‘the lifestyle’, or ‘the scene’) can be enjoyed in many different ways. Although single women and single men participate in the lifestyle, swinging is primarily for couples since you need a partner to swing with. Singles who participate in threesomes and group sex have been termed as ‘swingles’.

Female bisexuality is almost considered the norm in the scene with many couples taking up swinging (sometimes exclusively) to engage in girl-on-girl fun. Male bisexuality isn’t as prevalent but from all accounts, when the right combination of couples is hit, the all-way interactions guarantee a busy night for all. Straight males should certainly not worry about being ‘man-handled’ if meeting a bi couple since most people respect sexual orientation in the scene.

Then there are also different play preferences. Some couples like to go ‘all the way’, and swap partners for sexual intercourse, whereas some couples prefer same-room sex only and limit their physical interaction with other couples. In general, most couples are happy to at least swap foreplay (kissing, oral sex etc.) with other couples, although it is not uncommon to hear of exclusively voyeuristic couples or partners who prefer to simply watch.

Benefits of Swinging

There are many reasons why people are attracted to the lifestyle. A lot of couples find the idea of having sex with other people very arousing, and it is not unusual for swinging to become a catalyst for improving their own sex lives and relationship. Some people may feel stifled by conservative attitudes towards sexuality, and welcome the opportunity to form a social network with like-minded people. Others view sex as a natural potential between people who are mutually attracted to each other, and therefore enjoy the open-mindedness that the scene provides regarding this concept.

Swinging is also a perfect way for individuals to explore his or her bisexuality, and in particular, women who have felt inhibited in the past to express their high sex drive, can do so amongst other open-minded people without the fear of being labelled. Also, people often learn a great deal about themselves and their sexualities through the lifestyle. For example, many discover that having their partner actively enjoy and appreciate what they are experiencing during sex to be a huge turn-on.

Look Before You Swing

Although the swinging scene has considerable merits for many, it may not be suitable for other people for a number of reasons. For example, if you are uncomfortable with people being sexually attracted to you, then the lifestyle may not be right for you. Similarly, if your relationship with your partner is unstable, you might find seeing him or her in an intimate situation with another person an upsetting experience. If you and your partner cannot communicate directly about relationships and sex, you’re probably destined for disaster in the scene, where honesty and trust is paramount. In general, sex can provoke strong feelings, along with its many pleasures, and if you aren’t confident in dealing with your emotions, then it may be better to wait a little while before exploring the scene.

For those who are ready to dive in, these following points should be considered to make the most of the scene. In the context of swinging, ‘couples’ don’t need to be life partners (married, de facto, etc.) but they should have at least a little history together and familiarity with each others’ emotional needs, and be comfortable approaching others as a couple. The general rule of thumb is that swinging works best when couples view the lifestyle as an enhancement to their existing sexual relationship, rather than as a replacement one that isn’t ‘working’ anymore.

Keep It Fun

Good communication is critical in any attempt at swinging as a couple. There are numerous different forms that swinging may take, and whatever path you take is fine as long as you and your partner are clear about what you are doing and why. Sex is potentially a highly emotional issue, and the pleasures that may be found in swinging can be reached only when both partners put their needs second to their partners. Furthermore, it might be valuable for you to think about whether there are any potential situations that you feel you would be uncomfortable in, and discuss these with your partner.

It’s also important to keep in mind that swinging is primarily a social activity. Therefore, the usual social rituals of meeting people apply, and the process by which acquaintances become close friends is not that different either. The key social traits that tend to be appreciated in the swinging community are responsibility, friendliness, flirtatiousness, open-mindedness, and most importantly stability in one’s primary relationship.

Finally, it is important for couples to keep in mind that there is no rush in entering the scene. Even if your first attempt is not successful, you can try again after openly working out what it was about the first attempt that didn’t go well. It’s vital that you keep an open mind and understand that your first, or even second, experience is not an indication of how swinging will always be for you. Like having sex for the first time, with some patience and learning, things can only improve over time.