Before arranging a meet

I strongly suggest that you talk to the female half of the couple, or ideally talk to both halves of the couple! This ensures that you all have a bit of common ground, are all interested and compatible (to a degree) and you have some knowledge about them both before organizing a meet. Not only is this a safety precaution, but it will give you a bit of a heads up of what to expect from the meet and an idea of what they are after.

Make your preferences known

Are you interested in just the male half of the couple? Or just the female half? Or equally interested in both?
Are you looking for social friends? Or friends with benefits? Or a one-off encounter?

Make sure that you know what you want – both from the date and future meets if things progress – so that your intentions are completely clear from the get-go. Be sure to be upfront and honest with the couple. No one wants to feel like their time has been wasted and you certainly don’t want to waste your own when you realize that the three of you weren’t quite on the same page. See our next point…

Get on the same page

Besides knowing what you want yourself, you need to communicate this clearly to all parties before meeting. So firstly have a chat about what the meet will and won’t entail i.e. social meet only, meet and see where it goes, play meet etc. Make sure that all three of you are going into the meet with the same expectations to ensure that there are no mixed signals and no awkward moments. Let them know what it is that you are looking for long-term, in terms of whether it is an ongoing friendship that you seek, a one-off (or repeat) play experience etc.

Relax!

Yes, it can be daunting if you look at it as two against one, but the dynamic of a threeway social (or otherwise) meet can be so much fun! You’ll find that conversation can flow more effortlessly than some one-on-one encounters as you’ve got another person there to contribute to the conversation and bounce off. As well as this, it really is the best of both worlds. You can make social friends and potential sexy friends that meet all of your needs at once.

Don’t be biased

Regardless of which half of the couple (if either) you are more interested in or feel like you hit it off with to begin with, try not to leave one half of the couple out of the conversation. Be sure to share your attention as equally as possible between the two to ensure that there are no hurt feelings. No one likes to feel like a third wheel.

Enjoy yourself!

Last – but certainly not least – enjoy yourself! Don’t look at it as a two-against-one situation where you are coming in as the unknown quantity. Whilst this is true to an extent, look at it in a positive light: you’re the exciting new entity with the opportunity to meet two new people that could become really great friends if you all hit it off. Whether it’s more (or less) than that is totally in your hands. The possibilities are endless.

Interested in reading more?

Check out the member forums and see what other RedHotPie members had to say about overcoming those first meet nerves and taking the plunge:

Time Wasting
Meet Ups

Do you have any tips for meeting a couple for the first time as a single? Please let us know in the comments below!

Pick up the Phone

This one is completely up to you, but personally, I like to pick up the phone about an hour before the decided meet time and send a casual message along the lines of ‘Hey, just checking if we are still on for tonight at 7.30? Looking forward to it.’ Not only does this show that you’re prepared to be there and are excited about it, but it also ensures that you don’t rock up and sit alone waiting because he got caught up at work for an hour longer than expected. If you haven’t traded numbers (see ‘Play It Safe’), use RedHotPie’s messaging system and our mobile app to stay in touch 24/7!

Make a Good Impression

If you want to ensure that you’ve got the best chance possible of making a first meet turn into a second, be sure to make a good impression. Dress in something that makes you feel sexy and is appropriate to the venue (for example, if it’s a casual drink at a bar, maybe a nice pair of jeans, a dressy top and your favourite comfy heels). Physical impressions will only you get you so far before personality becomes vital. So what’s my best tip in terms of that? Read on…

Be Yourself

Bit of a no-brainer, right? Depends on your personality. I know I’m not the only one who can safely say that in the nervous awkwardness of some first meets, I have come across as a bit of a shy, bumbling mess. Definitely not sexy. Try to relax, and remember that no matter how the date goes there are many more slices of pie where that came from, so it’s not the end of the world if either of you walk away deciding not to come back for seconds. There’s really no point pretending to be something that you’re not because you’ll be caught out eventually when you let your guard down and show your true colours. Better to lay all your cards on the table to begin with so that he can decide from himself what he thinks.

Play It Safe

This shouldn’t need to be said, but a little common sense goes a long way. Be as sure as possible about the person you are meeting before giving out your details and deciding to meet. Exchange a few emails firstly, then jump into the RedHotPie chatrooms and suss each other out on webcam and use the audio feature to have a quick voice chat. I can’t stress how important it is to not stray from the safety and security of RedHotPie before giving out your personal contact details. I do not give out my contact details unless it is for practical reasons, i.e. we have arranged a meet and need to be able to contact each other should anything unexpected happen. With push notifications it’s even easier to keep your details private, as you can be made aware of a message sent through RedHotPie on your mobile, which most people are never without these days. If you haven’t yet downloaded the rhpmobile app, it will keep you constantly connected so you never miss a beat! As well as this, meet in a public place that you are familiar with at a sensible time of day.

Expectations

One of my favourite aspects of RedHotPie is that there’s no B.S.; people are upfront about what they are looking for and with whom they want to do those things with. This is great in weeding out people that aren’t looking for the same thing as you from the get go, with the click of a button and quick profile perusal. Always make it clear on your profile what you are looking for and what your expectations are. To ensure that there are no unwanted expectations or any pressure that could lead to potentially awkward situations on the first meet, it’s often a great idea to stress that first meets will be purely social. Saying that no play will take place ensures that no one is put a position that they aren’t comfortable with, should they decide that they’re just not that into it. Besides, if a guy isn’t willing to ‘waste time’ on a social meet and it’s important to you to have that connection first, then chances are you’ll disagree on other fundamental points too and he isn’t worth your time.

In reality, the only difference between a RedHotPie meet and a blind date is the first point of contact. Treat it much like any other date you would go on and you’ll do just fine, provided that you have been clear and upfront about what you are looking for in terms of the date, and beyond the date. Above all, enjoy yourself!

Interested in reading more? Check out the member forums!

‘Possibly naive question about meeting new people here.’ Read it here

‘RHP Virgins in here.’ Read it here