If you’re a nonscientist, you might have once asked yourself, propped against the bedhead after disappointingly quick intercourse, how long does sex “normally” last?

A scientist, though, would phrase the same question in an almost comically obscure way: What is the mean intravaginal ejaculation latency time?

I know there’s a lot more to sex than putting the penis into the vagina and ejaculating, but the rest is not always easy to define (Kissing? Rubbing? Grinding?). To keep things simple and specific, we’ll just focus on the time to ejaculation.

Measuring an average time to ejaculation is not a straightforward matter. What about just asking people how long they take, you say?

Well, there are two main problems with this. One is that people are likely to be biased upwards in their time estimates, because it’s socially desirable to say you go long into the night.

The other problem is that people don’t necessarily know how long they go for. Sex isn’t something people normally do while monitoring the bedside clock, and unassisted time estimation may be difficult during a transportative session of lovemaking.

WHAT DOES THE RESEARCH SAY?

The best study we have estimating the average time to ejaculation in the general population involved 500 couples from around the world timing themselves having sex over a four-week period — using a stopwatch.

That is as practically awkward as it sounds: participants pressed “start” at penile penetration and “stop” at ejaculation.

You may note this could affect the mood somewhat, and might perhaps not exactly reflect the natural flow of things. But science is rarely perfect, and this is the best we’ve got.

So what did the researchers find? The most striking result is that there was a huge amount of variation. The average time for each couple (that is, averaged across all the times they had sex) ranged from 33 seconds to 44 minutes. That’s an 80-fold difference.

Yeah, sexy.

So it’s clear there’s no one “normal” amount of time to have sex. The average (median, technically) across all couples, though, was 5.4 minutes.

This means that if you line up the 500 couples from shortest sex to longest sex, the middle couple goes for an average of 5.4 minutes each time they do it.

There were some interesting secondary results, too. For example, condom use didn’t seem to affect the time, and neither did men’s being circumcised or not, which challenges some conventional wisdom regarding penile sensitivity and its relationship to staying power in the sack.

It didn’t much matter which country the couples came from either — unless they came from Turkey, in which case their sex tended to be significantly shorter (3.7 minutes) than couples from other countries (Netherlands, Spain, the United Kingdom, and the United States).

Another surprising finding was that the older the couple, the shorter the sex, contrary to the prevailing wisdom (probably peddled by older men).

WHY DO WE HAVE SEX FOR SO LONG?

As an evolutionary researcher, all this talk of how long sex lasts make me wonder: Why does it last any time at all? All sex really needs to achieve, it seems, is to put sperm into the vagina. Why all the thrusting and bumping? Instead of sliding the penis in and out many hundreds of times per sexual session, why not just put it in once, ejaculate, and then go have a lemonade and get on with the rest of the day?

Before you say, ‘Because it’s fun to go in and out!’, remember evolution doesn’t care about fun per se — it generally only “designs” things to be enjoyable if they helped our ancestors pass on their genes to future generations.

For example, even though we like eating food, we don’t chew each mouthful of it for five minutes just to make the enjoyment last longer. That would be inefficient, and so we’ve evolved to find it gross.

Why we last so long is a pretty complicated question with no clear answer, but a clue may be in the way the penis is shaped.

In 2003, researchers showed — using artificial vaginas, artificial penises, and artificial sperm (corn syrup) — that the ridge around the head of the penis actually scoops out pre-existing syrup from the vagina.

What this suggests is that men’s repeated thrusting might function to displace other men’s semen before ejaculating, ensuring their own swimmers have a better chance of reaching the egg first. Incidentally, this could explain why it becomes painful for a man to continue thrusting after ejaculating, since that would risk scooping out his own semen as well.

So what to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

Source: news.com.au

So, how about your numbers? Give us your average shag time in the comments section below, let’s see how long Pie members go for!

There are numerous factors contributing to inability for men and women to connect completely in the sexual sense. From the fractured state of masculinity in the 21st century, to pornography, to toilet wall sex education… all these things maybe misinforming and without direct and open lines of communication between the sexes, it’s easy to see how the problem becomes self perpetuating.

Unfortunately, men are often too proud to ask questions, and women are too embarrassed to suggest possible improvements but that’s exactly where we must start. Girls, as the saying goes, don’t ask and you don’t get, so you have no grounds for complaint if you haven’t at least tried to address these concerns with your man. Sure his ego might get a little roughed up but in time as he’s watching you fly through your third orgasm, I’m sure his inner caveman will be chest thumping like crazy!

And gents, it’s true, some girls want you to man up and dominate in the bedroom but if you’re not that guy yet then you’re going to have to ask questions. Look at it this way, the more questions you ask, the more answers you get and with each new relationship you are going to be better equipped. So ask your girl what she wants, how you can improve, if she likes foreplay, if she likes anal play, if she would mind dirty talk… it’s all going to lead to better sex in the end, if not with her, then your next partner.

So we’re starting to get a dialogue going which is of course half the battle, so let’s get onto foreplay. Now we’re talking about sex here, so there are no hard and fast rules, the only consistent is that everyone is different and we will all change our mood and desire dependent on our circumstance, so again… our best friend is communication, especially in a new relationship. It can be as simple as asking a partner if they’re into foreplay, if they are then you can expand on your questioning to really get your mind around their likes and dislikes.

Ladies, it’s very important to be vocal about foreplay as it will often go a long way to ensuring you’re ready to enjoy the main event to follow, so coach your man a little. If he’s pressing the clitoris like a nitrous button, ask him to work up to it, make it out of bounds for the first ten minutes – the men like a challenge!

Unfortunately it’s all too common for the modern man to mimic what’s he’s seen or rely on the dodgy information he’s been given, so thanks to drunken pub talk and racy porn films you can expect a cock in your face, a quick finger if you’re lucky and bang; you away and racing. Again, don’t be afraid to pump the brakes and withhold the prize until you’re ready to hit the gas with your man.

Something for both parties to remember is that sex, be it foreplay or penetration is not about routine; a repeated cycle will soon become boring and ineffective so keep things fresh. Maybe you’re partner likes foreplay, but don’t be afraid to read the situation, maybe you’ve just sat through a particularly horny film, try to empathise with your partner, he or she may well be thinking the same dirty thoughts as you. A little bit of sexual initiative will often lead to the hottest, hardest most spontaneous sexual encounters.

Now once things are underway we may encounter the premature evacuation of the testes. Now this can be embarrassing and demoralizing for a lot of guys so ladies, a little kindness and a few carefully chosen words will help the situation no end. Play it up, remember the guy is launching early because having sex with you obviously blows his mind, so take it as a compliment and work toward a solution. Keeping the mood light will make things easier. Gentle quips like “Jesus, you must think I’m Jessica Simpson hot” or “how good am I at working the pump?!? I want another go” might get a smile and ease any tension that’s present.

If your boy is prone to blowing early, accommodate his speed, give him head or hand and tell him it’s ok to come straight away, he can return the favour while his marbles reload then you can both go at it proper and his staying power should be greatly increased!

Boys, if this woman is letting you stick your appendage inside her, there’s a good chance she likes you enough to be sympathetic to your situation. Don’t shrink up and get embarrassed, be open about it and ask her what else you could do for her while you recover, again this is a chance to get some information about what she likes. Hopefully as you become better educated inre her likes and dislikes your ability to please her will increase, thus decreasing your anxieties and your premature arrivals.

Once penetration is achieved, don’t feel like you’re locked in the race toward the finish line, enjoy the act but know you can break away to spice things up with more head, kissing, rubbing, fondling or anything that increases the connection; believe me, you’ll always return to the penetration so mix it up.

Afterplay is possibly the most important part of the entire sexual cycle so far as the connection between a couple goes. The physical goal has been achieved and the exposed afterglow can be just as intense as any climax. So try to avoid instant slumber, or an inquisition on the future of the relationship, feel free to enjoy the moment, the warmth of another body, the acceptance of another human being. The petting and cuddling can build intense connection and if your lucky lead to more sex, crazy, deep sex!

Have you got any tips to improve our modern sex lives? Share your comments below!