This bondage- infused romance has received numerous analyses; some suggesting it encourages and glorifies rape and violence against women for entertainment’s sake and it also isn’t a true representation of the BDSM world.

Aspects that maybe can potentially be read into it, but ask the women who read the book what they saw in the novel and you’ll have a very different write up. This is what we are looking at today.

50 Shades is an old-fashioned romantic story with the rich-man-sweeps-innocent-beauty-off-her-feet female fantasy. Except, it has an alluring and dominant male character that makes women dreamy. The kind of man, who knows how to gradually and totally turn a woman on, he makes women the centre of his erotic fantasy and all women crave that – a man who just knows what they want.

No wonder many women all over the world LOVED this book.

Some women that read this book responded to it by developing erotic feelings – feelings so powerful that in some cases they wanted to have sex with their own husbands. Yes, you read it right!

Maybe what some women want is not just sex, they want more interesting sex. Yes, sex that veers from the ‘Vanilla’ sex, not that Vanilla sex is bad but too much of the same thing gets a bit well, boring! Women want exciting, intuitive sex that includes fantasies, role-play, kinky sex and S&M.

Blame it on the changing times, where women are at par with man in the workplace, where women are having and supporting children on their own – women are less dependent or subjugated than before. Some modern women, successful at work, secretly yearned to be submissive in bed.

Maybe these S&M fantasies of sexual surrender offer a release, a vacation from the norm, an escape from the dreariness and hard work of equality. This stresses a very good point, that the most powerful erotic organ is the brain, and a lot of men have a stereotype into just being into the physical experience and not the mental experience. For many women they are drawn to S&M or other alternative forms of intimacy because of the mental element to it.

Why is it so interesting to surrender, or to play at surrendering?

S&M is about ceding control; it’s not just sex; it’s about turning the other person on. It can be through touch, through teasing, through excluding some senses and heightening others senses, through restricting motion with ropes or sight with blindfolds. S&M is both a mental and physical expression where sexual tension is built slowly. When you are really turned on, pain can feel a lot like pleasure, and spanking becomes pleasurable. BDSM is much more then the actual physical acts to fully understand it one would need to actually probably try it out.

The Try Guys went ahead and gave it a go. Watch the video below it’s both funny and informative:

Buckle up because you are going to be taken through some S&M sex scenes when you watch the movie 50 Shades. There’ll be knots, buckles, nipple clamps, spanking and how to use a whip.

By now you are thinking that BDSM, at least as presented in this movie, can be quite classy and alluring, maybe some ideas are titillating enough for experimentation or incorporating into your sexual repertoire.

Get in the mood by watching the trailer here.

Have fun broadening your mind and maybe giving a go at some of the erotic thoughts introduced in the film.

Explore sexual fantasies

Whether you have a vampire fetish courtesy of True Blood or Twilight or a thing for the latest celebrity to grace the front pages of every tabloid, one of the best ways to make sure sex stays exciting is with fantasies. Sexual fantasies can (and should) be a healthy and natural part of a relationship and really spice things up. The decision to come clean about what scenarios really turn you on can feel risky but it can also completely change up your sex life. The key is to take each other’s fantasies seriously (no teasing), be creative and just have fun with the experience.

Dress the part

We don’t all feel comfortable wearing lingerie, but sweat pants aren’t exactly sexy. Comfort is fine some of the time, but simply wearing lingerie can go a long way towards spicing up your sex life. The sexier you feel, the more likely it is that you’ll be in the mood to have sex, and we’re willing to bet your man will be pretty excited about the wardrobe change. Continuing to play with lingerie even when you’d rather be in jeans and a T-shirt shows your partner that you care and he’ll likely reciprocate with more effort of his own.

Create flirtation

Flirting is fun. Think back to the beginning of your relationship and how good it felt when your guy flirted with you and vice versa. It may have been years since you flirted with one another, but it’s time to change all that. A little flirting makes each person feel desired, which can lead to a stronger physical connection and more intimacy in your relationship. So if you really want to make things hotter in the bedroom, bring on the flirting. Hang on his every word, lean in close when he talks, laugh at his jokes and get playful. Trust us, the flirtier you get, the better your connection will become.

Source: sheknows.com