So what do you do if you think you’ve met your soulmate at work? It’s tricky, but if you can communicate honestly with your partner and your employer and maintain boundaries in the office, you might be able to make it work — just don’t take that as permission to use the office as your own personal casual dating pool.

If you simply must pursue your co-worker crush, here are seven expert tips for dating a fellow employee the right way.

DETERMINE YOUR MOTIVES

“Try to think objectively and ask yourself, ‘Why am I interested in this person?’ We get close to people during projects and initiatives. What will happen after the project ends? Do you have anything else in common?” – Liz D’Aloia, founder, HR Virtuoso

CHECK THE RULES FIRST

“Many organisations have rules about dating colleagues [but] not because dating a colleague is a bad thing. You may share common interests and motivations and you may both love the organisation. The rules exist to avoid any messiness that might arise when the relationship ends, when one of you gets promoted, or if one of you has access to information that should not be shared especially if it might benefit your partner unfairly.” – Roy Cohen, career counsellor and executive coach

DETERMINE YOUR PLACE IN THE OFFICE

“Consider your work relationship — is the co-worker your superior? The answer may officially be no, but unofficially the answer may be yes. This may be the case if the co-worker is leading a work team, spearheading a project, or has more experience [or] seniority than you. These factors are important to consider because your comfort, confidence and productivity may all be adversely affected once you’re involved personally.” – Laura MacLeod, creator, From the Inside Out Project

KNOW WHEN TO DISCLOSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

“I advise forthright disclosure when it becomes a regular dating relationship [usually around] two to three months. Letting supervisors or HR know will allow for open and honest dialogue. Depending on the company’s posture, a resolution can generally be forged. Many companies will work to move one of the parties if there is a direct or indirect reporting relationship in a work group. Full disclosure will keep everyone out of harm’s way.” – Leesa Schipani, HR practice leader, training and development, KardasLarson

DATE OUTSIDE OF YOUR DEPARTMENT

“Dating someone who reports to you can lead to ugly litigious situations if a breakup occurs. There’s less danger if you date someone in a different department, but the best policy is to maintain a professional distance in the office.” – Lynda Spiegel, HR professional and founder, Rising Star Resumes

ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES

“[Dating a co-worker] requires employees to have good boundaries. Co-workers don’t like to see kissing at the water cooler or baby talk between two adults. They also hate it when both people disappear together for hours, air their personal business at work, or have a public breakup followed by trash talk and the silent treatment.” – Steve Albrecht, HR and security consulting professional

MAINTAIN YOUR INDIVIDUALITY

“When you work with your significant other, especially if you’re on the same team, or at least in the same department, it can be easy to automatically support his or her ideas, or agree with his or her input. But in the office there’s more to the team than just you two. It’s important to maintain your separate voices, especially when it’s in the best interest of the company. Treat each other with the courtesy you would any colleague, but know it’s okay to disagree. Just leave it at the office when the day is over.” – Laurenne Resnik, founder, Bloom2Bloom

Source: news.com.au

Have you ever had an office fling? Maybe a little Christmas Party lovin’? Tell us your story below!

Work place through the years has changed in its dynamics; spending uncountable hours in the office lend itself to changes in the fundamentals of the work ethics. Work has become a place where life happens.

The construct of making money for survival alone is not a true reflection of modern workplace. A new balance had inevitably to transpire; coupled with the fact that people have more time to look after themselves and there are more women in the work field, work is the obvious place for meeting and fulfilling fantasies.

We have direct contact with co-workers on a daily basis, we talk about life and work, we laugh at jokes, and we have coffee and occasionally lunch together here and there. These are a reiteration of the beginning stages of the dating game already. What follows is almost inevitable. It shouldn’t really surprise us that people get attracted to their co-workers and sometimes take it to the next level.

Reality is we cannot deny ourselves our human instincts and as much as we’d like to think we could control them, we act on them sometimes, an instinct that has been detrimental to our survival as a species really. Sometimes emotions and hormones get the best of us.

But at what point do you decide if it’s worth risking the future of your job to take the next step. Take a close look at all the potential benefits and disasters that could come out of this adventure.

While dating a coworker might seem like a wild thrill don’t entirely throw caution to the wind especially, if you are trying to advance your career. There are a few main factors to consider before impetuously taking the plunge into an office romance.

Unless you want to walk the plank and swim with the sharks, an office romance in a small to medium size office is potentially disastrous, more chance of success in bigger office places. In small office places your little adventure becomes everybody’s business, not a desirable.

As a rule of thumb in any workplace, if you’re to have sex at work keep the kissy-touchy part of the relationship out of everyone’s ‘face’, for everyone’s comfort and for the sake of keeping a productive environment. In short do your best to conceal your office romp. Don’t brag about it to your friends at work, it will leak and that is a recipe for disaster.

Also don’t date your boss, it creates an unfair relationship, keep out of this equation and all is rosy and fun!! Furthermore, once the romance comes to an end, guess who is going to be looking for a new job? While an office romance is a very common occurrence and not quite as taboo as it once was it’s often best to keep your little fling under wraps.

If you find yourself in this kind of pickle try to weigh out the pros and cons of such a fling. In general, be professional at your place of work. It is understandable that given the amount of time we spend at work we are inevitably, at least some of us find our next fling or life partner. If you think you can handle a fling and continue productive work regardless then enjoy the wild adventures.

Here is an interesting facts for you:

In the Australian Sex Census in the question: ‘Have you fantasised about sex with a co-worker?’ 70% of men and 50% of women have answered yes to this question. Also have a read at what people are saying in the Forum on Work place Sex

The majority of us probably condemn such behaviour but there is a need to acknowledge the reality of today’s work dynamics and talk about it. It may be a sign of the ages; times change and so do attitudes and perceptions.

If you haven’t had your share of sexual encounters at your workplace, at least you’ve probably thought about it.

What are your thoughts on this subject? If you had a chance to pursuit a ’fling’ at work would you? Have you ever had sex at work or got it on with a co-worker?