Now before you set off to the stores with the blood quickly rushing to your tingly bits let’s look at your options: You could get your lover the horse-scale dong but would something so in-your-face be all that sexy? Well ok maybe it would but let’s see if we can’t stretch our imaginations a little further, ensuring a saucy gift that will excite both giver and receiver.

The Basket
For the picky shoppers out there, why not throw all your eggs in one basket by getting your loved one something like… a basket! An adult gift basket can contain just about anything and can offer some variety which is of course the spice of life. We’re talking scented candles, massage oils, body paint, a lacy g-string and chocolate boobs etc. Anything you believe will help create the carnally infused atmosphere you’re chasing is a potential inclusion, so have fun with it. What you don’t like, you can always give out as prizes at your next naughty party

The Game
After the Christmas lunch gorge has ended, someone inevitably pulls out the Parker Brothers board games producing little more than monotony and heavy eye-lids. After the last morsel of pudding disappears, why not send your folks packing, giving you and your lover some privacy and a chance to roll the dirty dice. Games like Nookii, the Karma Sutra playing cards or Monogamy will ensure you spend the afternoon eating more than just left-overs. Failing that, grab that empty bottle of champers and play a round of Spin the Bottle.

The Big Wet
Everyone’s got a spectacular story about that time they humped their partner stupid in the bath or spa right… well there’s no harm in encouraging a repeat performance. Throw a bath pack together; take some scented candles, bubble bath, nice cleansing gels, maybe a couple of heavy white robes and a little Barry White for good measure. Your partner will be wet before the first toe hits the water. Check your local adult stores to see if you can add a few fun bath toys too. Some vibrators are specifically made for underwater pleasuring.

9½ Weeks
You know the film, Mickey Rourke, Kim Basinger, some condiments and a swag of sadomasochistic abuse. Depending on your partner’s temperament maybe forego the abuse, but some carefully selected food items can make for quite the kitchen work out. The whip cream, the cherries, the chocolate sauce, the frozen bananas… the rest of this story writes itself. Try a Christmas theme and heat things up with brandy butter and candy canes.

Get Away
You know what’s great about dirty get-aways, the lack of pretext. You know you’re going to have lots of filthy sex, your partner knows you’re going to have lots of filthy sex, the complete assuredness of the venture makes the situation so damn horny it hurts… think about that when shopping for your baby… is that level of nudie fun worth the extra bucks you might spend on a pressie of this size? Of course it is. Get on the blower and book that b+b now, your pants will thank you for it.

Cinema
For the more liberal among us, the world of porn should not be overlooked. Would you rather spend the afternoon watching some ancient drivel about an angel getting its wings or would you prefer to snuggle up with your partner to watch Jenna Jameson getting reamed seven ways from Sunday? If you’re a stickler for context and the sense of occasion there are several Christmas themed adult productions available. Ho, ho, ho indeed!

A Swinging XXXmas Party
While most couples would undoubtedly be doing the family thing on Christmas Day, nothing should stop you from making your Christmas Eve a sexy occasion. After all, it’s your last chance to show Santa how naughty you are! Perhaps have a few saucy couples over for a dinner party with a difference. Suggest that your guests dress up in sexy lingerie or underwear for the table.
You can be crafty and liberate your Christmas crackers of all its usual naff content and replace them with condoms, naughty jokes and the like. Serve up as many finger foods (think tapas style) as possible to encourage mutual hand feeding and finger licking. You can set aside some fresh strawberries and cream for dessert but I doubt you’d all last that long and retired to err.. rest…

So there are a few ideas to get you away from the standard items usually filling the stockings on Christmas morning. Think outside the box and don’t be afraid to be a little brash, sometimes the dirtier the thought the greater the return. Don’t forget – your lust and affection for your partner is ultimately an affirmation of their importance and worth to you; now if that doesn’t fill them with Christmas cheer something’s wrong.

Merry XXXmas!!

One US newspaper – The Chicago Daily Herald – reported that the opening match between the Chicago Bliss and the visiting Miami Caliente lived up to the hype, “delivering real professional football, with some impressive precision passing and genuine hard-hitting action”.

Before the game, lingerie league founder Mitchell Mortarza stressed the NFL credentials of the coaches, adding, “These girls have been in training for a year and a half. The level of football will be through the roof tonight.”

But the league, which was started because of the success of the lingerie game at halftime in the Super Bowl, has some detractors – mostly due to the scanty nature of the uniforms.

The women who gathered at midfield for the inaugural coin toss were wearing revealing bikini outfits, with their numbers stitched to their posteriors.

In case anyone is interested, the innaugrual game was won by the Bliss 29-19.

Source: dailytelegraph.com.au

The pictures show the officers having a rollicking good time with some very fit young ladies who appear to be very friendly and respectful of the law, heck, one of them is even giving one of the officers a kiss – you can’t get any more respectful than that.

Ok, so maybe, getting flirty on the dance floor while holstering a loaded fire-arm wasn’t the best decision these young officers made but surely a slap on the wrist will be adequate punishment, in fact if the officers have significant others at home, we imagine that the hell they’re dealing with on that front is worse than anything the bosses can throw at them.

Really, when you think about it, can they be blamed at all? You see as most of the ladies can testify, a guy in uniform is a pretty handy aphrodisiac. Come on girls, how many of you have been out and about, happily minding your own business when WHACK, a hard bodied young fiery swaggers through your view – your heart skips, your knees bend and your knickers sigh.

So really, those poor policemen never stood a chance; they’ve arrived on the scene, which would have resembled Sodom in the good old days, only to be set upon by juiced up young vixens, high on life, drunk on lust and ripe for the plucking. And don’t kid yourself, if the cops had sent a female officer, the boys of the ball would have been throwing folding money at her quicker than you can say “how much for a private sweetheart?”

So is that it, are uniforms still that hot? Do they still up someone’s sexy by 50%? Drop us a comment below letting us know what you think. Have you ever been pulled by a uniform clad stranger?

Whips, Blindfolds, Handcuffs and More…
“Nothing goes past the good old handcuffs,” said one sexy RHP member and it seemed that many agreed with a bunch of them commenting that they love a little bondage and more. “I do love the leather cuffs (wrist and ankle) with chains, the double ended dildo, the nipple clamps (not used on the nippies) and hey the list goes on…” said one forum post, while another cheekily added “I make the most of my play time by playing and my favourite toy(s) would be whip, blindfold and cuffs, hehehehe whether me wielding them or receiving them…well I’ll let you guess.”
Try: The Fantasy Domination Kit

The Rabbit
This one was hugely popular with the women of RHP and many agreed that every woman should get her hands wrapped firmly around one. “I think at a bare minimum every girl should own a Rabbit,” said one female, while another enthused “[I] have to say my man is my all time fav… But for a daily dose the ivibe Rabbit always hits the spot when all alone.” These babies have come a long way since they were featured on Sex and The City and you can now get the waterproof version with three different speeds or rotation and vibration.
Try: The Waterproof Jack Rabbit

Bullets
These delicious delights promise to hit the mark every time and their sexy accuracy has proved very popular! “You cannot beat a little ‘silver bullet’ toy that we call MR Buzzy,” said one RHP member, and if you can’t find one when you’re in the heat of the moment, this member recommends finding a creative alternative; “The next best thing of course is an electric toothbrush. No nasty tartar buildup on the old clitty.”
Try: The Ammunition of Love

Remote Controlled Goodies
For a little bit of fun for everyone, a very sexy RHP member recommends getting your hands (and more) on remote control gadgets. “Can’t go past the remote control one. For fun, wear it out to parties, restaurants, or maybe dinner with your in-laws hehehe,” she says. “And give your partner the control. The person with the control can send sweet vibrations at a touch of a button for as long or as many times as they want. Guaranteed to keep a smile on your face through the most boring event, so perhaps the next long wedding ceremony you’re invited to, seminar, etc. Heaps of fun! Be warned …don’t set it off when someone is carrying a stack of dishes!”
Try: The Ultra 10 Remote Control Bullet

Vibrating Gloves
Anything that vibrates is a winner when it comes to delighting the senses. “I love the Vibrating Glove; it is fantastic, the whole glove vibrates and it gets me going every time… mmm. I saw them at Sexpo and have a few male friends from here who have them and know how to use them,” says a sexy female RHP member. Another added; “I have a little finger vibe that slides over your finger. Used as you would normally use your finger. Small and quiet. I actually take it to work sometimes and use it under my desk.” And it’s not just the bedroom where these toys come in handy. “My other favourite toy is my Rubber Duck, it was given to me for my Birthday. He looks like an everyday Rubber Duck but is an actual Vibrator. His beak and tail are great for clitoral stimulation, he is my little travel companion.”
Try: I Rub My Duckie

Do you have a favourite sex toy that you want to tell us about? Do you prefer the classic hand cuffs or maybe something a little more powerful? We want to hear all about it!

The events for the remainder of the year are:
May 3-6 The Adelaide Sexpo
May 25-72 NSW Dutton Rally
July 7-8 Round 3 TOYO DRIFT, Eastern Creek Raceway, NSW
July 26-29 Sydney Sexpo
August 11-12 Round 4 TOYO DRIFT, Queensland Raceway, QLD
August 31-September 2 Victoria Dutton Rally
September 22-23 Round 5 TOYO DRIFT 22-23, Oran Park Raceway, NSW
October (Date TBC) Sandown Sprints
October 18-21 Perth Sexpo
November (Date TBC) Autosalon at Melbourne Exhibition Centre
November 29 – December 2 Melbourne Sexpo

Keep an eye out for the SEXPO SEX MACHINE during television coverage of both the Dutton Rally National series and the Toyo National Drift series.

Car enthusiasts at RHP, the SEXPO SEX MACHINE is a Toyota Soarer with an impressive list of modifications.

These include;

Engine: 3 litre bottom end, forged pistons with h-beam rods and bolt kit, 1.5mm HKS steel head gasket, 1mm oversize stainless valves, ported head, 2 x HKS GT2835 turbos, HKS 264 intake and exhaust cams, HKS intake/exhaust cam gears, stainless exhaust manifold, modified inlet manifold with custom plenum chamber, 100mm throttle body, 6x 700cc injectors, 6x 550cc secondary injectors, MoTeC ecu, CDI ignition, HKS external wastegate, HKS drag-type front-mount intercooler, GREDDY blow off valve, 2x Bosch external fuel pumps, 1x high flow in-tank fuel pump, surge tank, engine oil cooler, power steering oil cooler
MoTeC Traction and Launch Control
Suspension/Driveline: Supra 4 spot brakes on front/2 spot on rear, stainless steel brake lines, Cusco strut bar, Getrag 6 speed, Exedy ceramic triple plate clutch, TRD locker diff, JIC adjustable coil-overs
Body/Interior: Auto Meter monster tacho, shift light, Momo steering wheel, Aero mirrors, 2x Bride seats, 6 point roll cage
Performance: 526.9 kWs (706HP) at the wheels (approx 800 at flywheel).

For all you RHP rev heads more info is available about the SEX MACHINE at www.sexmachine.com.au

Ok lets go old school, or old-world, and look at the roots of this religious holiday. Easter was a long held fertility festival celebrated long before the time of Christ. Easter is named after the Anglo-Saxon pagan goddess of sexual fertility, Eostre. The Germanic people worshiped her as Ostara whilst she was known as Ishtar in the Middle East and Africa . Notice the similarities with Easter? Her Latin Name is Oestre which is where the hormone associated with female fertility, oestrogen, is derived from. The mythic hare, or Easter Bunny as it has become known as, is sacred to the goddess and stretching as far back as ancient Egypt , it remains one of the oldest symbols of fertility. Eggs are another obvious symbol of fertility and rebirth.

The date that the pagan ritual and the modern Christian holiday falls on is also important. The ancient people celebrated the festival of Eostre 14 days after the Equinox, which was also traditionally the time the Resurrection of Jesus was celebrated. The ancient festival was also a celebration of the changing of seasons, which may also give additional significance to the segments on hot cross buns as they can be seen to represent the four different seasons. So how did these two separate religious occasions become intertwined?

It is believed that around the second century AD, Christian missionaries, seeking to convert the pagan tribes of Europe , realized that the Crucifixion of Christ coincided with pagan fertility celebrations. These missionaries sought to graft the story of Jesus’ resurrection to the traditional beliefs of Pagan Europe in order to make Christianity more acceptable. This also had the effect of seeing many Pagan beliefs absorbed into the Cannon of Christian beliefs. Hence the confusing story of Easter.

In consideration of all the above-mentioned historical developments, we should come away with the knowledge that Easter is not in its essence, as is usually portrayed, a solemn and sober occasion but can also be seen as a time for rebirth and a celebration of fertility and virility. When it comes to celebrating fertility, RedHotPie has you covered with a huge member base of virile young and active member! Why not share your Easter eggs around and enjoy this holiday with other RedHotPie members. Check out Date Finder now and see who is available to meet this long Easter weekend!