He lovingly gives his wife a kiss and hands her a G-string with a little giggle. “I got you a souvenir from work today,” he says in his thick Austrian accent.

If it seems an unusual gift for this average domestic scene, that’s because you don’t know what Anikka and Mick do for work.

This happily married pair are award-winning and highly in demand adult performers, the “Brangelina” of the porn world. They became the first married couple to simultaneously win male and female performer of the year at the Adult Video News (AVN) Awards in 2015, with Mick taking out the best male award again this year.

Despite their success, Anikka and Mick still face constant criticism for doing what they love. “The biggest negative is the stigmatism in society when people find out,” Mick explains. “The stigmatism for girls is bigger than for guys. If a girl does it, she is a whore.”

“People on Instagram are the worst,” Anikka continues. “They make comments as though because of what I do I don’t deserve to be loved or have a happy healthy relationship.”

It’s not just women who get a bad wrap for being involved in porn, though. The couple say the entire industry is tainted with the stereotype that performers are heavily reliant on drugs.

“That’s a problem with the media,” Mick says. “They put it in movies and they give us a bad wrap. Yes when you look at movies like Boogie Nights, it was a different era. And yes back then it was like that. Porn was more underground. But today in the industry you are an athlete and you are rated on your last scene. There are some people who party and take drugs, but it’s not more than other industry.”

For these two highly sexual beings porn is just a job, and an enjoyable one at that.

“There was this part of me that was very hypersexual, and before I got into the industry I didn’t have an outlet,” says Anikka. “Then I got into this industry and I have this life, but when I come home all I want to do is be with Mick.”

They may be enjoying it now, but working in porn isn’t always easy and for most performers it’s not a long term career. So how long will they stay in the industry? “We are both used to it and it’s basically our lives for now and we encourage each other to excel in it and enjoy it. We will stay as long as it makes us happy” says Annika.

But Mick explains it might not always be a choice. “It’s not about how long we want to deal with it but how long our bodies want to do it because it’s a very physical job.”

One reason Anikka will take a break for is motherhood. “When I have a baby I want to be able to give time to the baby but eventually I will came back to the industry,” she maintains.

“Just because you have a child does not mean you have to put your sexuality on hold. Yes you need to be safe and remain safe but there is a time and place for everything and you can fit a child into your life. You don’t take your kid to work with you.”

Weeks earlier I was running around the AVN awards (the Oscars of the porn world) with Anikka and Mick, where Anikka was the star of the show, co-hosting the night. Watching Mick and Anika walk the red carpet it was easy to imagine they were at any mainstream awards show.

Even Anikka’s mother was there in toe, proudly supporting her daughter and her son-in-law on their night of nights. The look on her face was of a mother who was proud of her daughter for doing what she loves. The only thing is, what she loves is having sex on screen. It’s not always easy to get your head around.

Spending time with Mick and Anikka, the biggest question playing on my mind was around infidelity and jealousy. During the awards show I heard another star on stage (who won for best anal scene) thank Anikka for allowing her to have sex with her husband to receive the award.

But surprisingly, Anikka doesn’t have a problem watching her husband on set. “There is this sense of security and even though he might be having sex with someone else, I know our connection won’t be broken” she explains.

“I think that the question is the definition of cheating,” explains Mick. “Cheating doesn’t necessarily need to be sex with someone. Cheating is more if you do something that doesn’t have the consent of the person you are with. If you went for a lap dance but didn’t tell your partner is that cheating? If you went to the movies and didn’t tell your partner you were going with another man or woman is that cheating?”

But what happens if they feel a real connection with another performer on set? “Feelings with a person come if you let the feelings come. You learn how to control that,” says Mick.

Anikka elaborates, “You learn how to put up walls so you protect yourself. There are times when I have an amazing scene but I will tell him about it. I’ll say something and he might not like to hear it but I will say it and it’s important for him to hear.”

But what about their sex life together? Surprisingly, there are no sex swings or dungeons at their house. Mick describes how different sex on set is to having sex at home. “If you have sex at home you can go at your own pace at your own times, it can be more intimate thing. If a camera would film this sex, the director would say it’s romantic and there is a connection but they would also say, ‘where is the penetration?’”

There are negatives to this job and there is a downside to the industry. But it was refreshing to meet a couple who have not only have succeeded in their professional and personal lives but are busting myths about what it means to be porn stars, just by being themselves and not letting a world define them by what (or who) they do.

When I entered their world, I wasn’t sure what I would find. But it was more normal, loving and supportive than most would think. If only they were allowed to show more of that in the work that they do.

Source: news.com.au

Do you have an open relationship? Could you be in one?? Tell us in the comments section below!

So begins chapter one of therapist Susan Pease Gadoua and journalist Vicki Larson’s new book The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels, which challenges readers to consider alternate marital agreements in a world where lovers live together without tying the knot, more couples are having children out of wedlock and about half of all marriages end in divorce.

“Rather than continue to encourage people to cram themselves into an old model that isn’t working for many — about one out of two marriages ends in divorce — we want to acknowledge what’s already happening and encourage you to think about new ways to marry,” the authors write.

The book, which hit shelves in late September, offers up seven models of alternate marriages for modern couples to consider. This is an adapted excerpt about open marriages:

“Bryce readily admits that he isn’t cut out for monogamy. When he met Dana, he was thrilled that she was open to inviting another lover into their bed. While they were dating, this couple in their thirties had threesomes, and they even swapped partners on their wedding night six years ago.

In their first two years of marriage, the Pennsylvania couple had sex with others together. Then they talked about having sex with others separately. They felt like they were in a good place, that they trusted each other, and had confidence to explore. But like many others in open relationships, they had rules — the sex was always safe, there were no sleepovers, and every arrangement was to be agreed to beforehand.

Their extramarital romps are just about sex, period; they’re not looking to forge relationships and explore deeper intimacy with others. Their goal is to recognise and celebrate each other’s needs. “We want each other to be happy, and we know sometimes either one of us might want to have a sexual experience with somebody else that would make us happy. For me, that’s what it’s all about,” Dana says.

What about you? Where would you draw the line on celebrating your partner’s sexual needs and happiness — or your own? Most people don’t question whether they’re really suited for monogamy or not, as Bryce and Dana have. Even though people today are growing up in more diverse families than ever before and are much more open to and accepting of broader views of gender and sexuality than generations past, society still tends to view non-monogamous relationships negatively.

Just look at the language that’s used to talk about it. Those who engage in it are either promiscuous, putting themselves and others at risk of sexually transmitted diseases, or cheaters, with a breakup being the expected outcome once an affair is discovered. It’s all about diseases, betrayal, secrecy, and deception.

There are scant positive models of healthy non-monogamous relationships, and so monogamy is generally not considered a choice but a given. Once a couple commits to each other, sexual exclusivity is expected and assumed — for now and forever. Is that a reasonable expectation? Is monogamy willingly embraced or just endured?

Brad and Kira, who got married in their early twenties, have also learned valuable lessons from their foray into non-monogamy. Less than two years into their marriage, Kira felt a strong attraction to a co-worker. It wasn’t much of a surprise to Brad because Kira had been a virgin when the couple met in college.

It was Kira’s suggestion that they open up their marriage. Having an affair wasn’t an option. She didn’t want to hurt Brad — she loved him — and she didn’t want to lie to him. She had seen how infidelity damaged her own family growing up. So, she read the writings of philosopher Bertrand Russell, a proponent of open marriage, and found the language to suggest that they bust free from monogamy.

After their exploration ended, Kira says she realised how happy she is to be in a monogamous relationship. Juggling schedules took a lot of work, and, a few times, she felt like she was becoming emotionally attached to her lovers, which “seemed kind of dangerous,” she admits.

Still, they believe there was something incredibly brave and empowering about their decision; a “badge of courage,” is how Kira describes it. They learned that they could make up their own rules and take risks in their relationship, and, frankly, doing something different than the mainstream together — without any deception — was exciting.

“Our sex life was better because we felt invigorated,” Brad says. “We found each other very compelling because we were both embarking on this experiment and it takes a certain kind of bravery, and we found that attractive in each other and ourselves.”

Bella also was a virgin when she met Ted. They married when she was just twenty, as many women from the south of America do. Thirty years into their forty-five-year childfree marriage, she experienced a series of family deaths. Then 9/11 happened. The fragility of life startled her, and she began to reflect on the things she missed out on by marrying so young.

They went to a few workshops on threesomes, and one day found themselves in bed with another man. Then they went to a sex club as part of an intimate group of friends and had a few more threesomes, together and separately. For a trip abroad, Bella got a hall pass and spent a glorious night with a much younger man.

But Ted never really felt 100 per cent comfortable with their experimentations. “He’s a one-woman man,” Bella sighs. So after a little more than two years of sexual play, they returned to monogamy.

Still, their brief journey into an open marriage transformed their relationship for the better. “It’s actually made us more open to other kinds of non-sexual experiences. We do a lot more social stuff than we used to do,” Bella says.

For whom does consensual non-monogamy work? Kira says it’s important to have confidence in yourself, believe in what you’re doing, and know your boundaries. Being outgoing helps.

“For a lot of people, it doesn’t even occur to them that they can be anything other than monogamous, and they get into a situation and then realise they maybe feel differently. I also feel monogamy can be dangerous even without sleeping with other people. Just having a sense of your own sexuality, being attracted to other people, being able to flirt with other people; when you can’t do that, it just shuts down a part of you. It changes who you are in your marriage and so long-term, that can be really damaging,” she told us.

Source: news.com.au

Got a story to share about open marriage, or open relationships? Tell us in the comments section below!