Ancient times:

One of the earliest-known sex manuals harks from Ancient China around 300 BC. It says if you have sex with a different virgin every night without ejaculating, you’ll become immortal. Gross.

Massaging someone’s ego has always worked, no matter what the century. A 2 BC papyrus sex manual by Greek courtesan Philaenis advises: “Pick the woman’s worst feature and then make it appear desirable. Tell an older woman that she looks young. Tell an ugly woman that she looks “fascinating”.” She was really onto something, right?

You may recall the ancient poet Ovid from your high school history class, but did you know he was banished for dispensing sex advice through poetry? “If you are short, go on top/If you’re conspicuously tall, kneel with your head turned slightly sideways” – said old Ovid in one of his poems. Random. The emperor of Rome at the time clearly didn’t approve because he made poor Ovid leave forever.

Middle Ages:

In the Middle Ages, only the missionary position was allowed. Any other moves were considered unnatural and therefore sinful. Doesn’t sound like much fun to us.

A 12th-century Indian scripture advises against marrying redheads or women with big toes that are too small. Poor redheads have always copped a raw deal it seems!

Published in the 13th or 14th century, the Medieval manual De Secretis Mulierum (The Secrets of Women) claimed women drained men of their power through sex and some hid sharp shards of iron inside themselves to injure innocent men. Yikes, how paranoid is that?!

The Renaissance:

Need a love potion? In 15th century Venice, a lower-class girl created a mixture of her own menstrual blood, a rooster heart, wine and flour to make a young aristocratic man crazy for her. It worked a little too well: she got the guys but then was busted and put to death. We’ll stick to sending come-hither looks and leave the love brewing to others – those Renaissance chicks were more desperate for love than Carrie Bradshaw.

In the Renaissance, the power of the printing press meant sex advice could be printed out faster than it could be banned by the Church. Yiew! Unfortunately, their ideas were totally cray cray: one “helpful” tip by Mrs Isabella Cortese, an alchemist and writer, in 1561 recommended mixing quail testicles, large-winged ants, musk and amber for straightening bent penises. Luckily, if that doesn’t work, we now have surgery.

What is it with blondes? “All women are lascivious but auburn blondes the most,” writes Giovanni Sinibaldi in Rare Verities: the Cabinet of Venus Unlock’d (1658). In other words, he thinks they can’t wait for a roll in the hay. It seems blondes’ reputation for fun has been around for some time.

The Enlightenment:

In a letter to a friend, one of America’s Founding Fathers Benjamin Franklin advised that he should choose an older mistress because they are sneakier than young ‘uns but nicer than hookers, can’t get pregnant, and their looks have been ravaged by age so they need to try harder. Nice.

“Never fool around sexually with a vacuum cleaner.”
Victorian times:

In the medical text The Functions and Disorders of the Reproductive Organs (1858) by William Acton, it is said that “the majority of women (happily for them) are not very much troubled with sexual feelings of any kind.” Could they be any more wrong?

Corsets make women horny, apparently: “Constricting the waist by corsets prevents the return of blood to the heart, overloads sexual organs and causes unnatural excitement of the sexual system. The majority of women follow the goddess fashion and so also wear their hair in a heavy knot. This great pressure on their small brains produces great heat and chronic inflammation of their sexual organs. It is almost impossible that such women should lead other than a life of sexual excess.” Dr John Cowan, The Science of a New Life (1888).

According to Confidential Talks With Husband and Wife (1900) a book of advice for marriage, sex four times a month is more than enough. In fact, anything else would be “excess”. We definitely beg to differ.

The Edwardian era:

We may be a young country but we have the dubious honour of having our own historical sex nut. Australian William Chidley printed a pamphlet in 1911, which promoted togas because heavy clothes caused erections. Seriously. He also supported the method of flaccid intercourse, which he based on horses’ sex lives. We’re not sure why he thinks horses did it right, but he was arrested because his toga was considered indecent and decreed insane. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

Modern times:

According to Edward Podolsky in the book Sex Technique for Husband and Wife (1947): “The clitoris, while important, is not nearly as important as many of us have been taught or led to believe.” Can you believe we could still get it so wrong even 60 years ago?

“Never fool around sexually with a vacuum cleaner” recommends Dr Alex Comfort in The Joy of Sex (1972). We hope he isn’t speaking from experience.

Source: cosmopolitan.com.au

In Australia for Perth Sexpo (Perth Exhibition Centre from May 26 – 29), McGee took some time with RedHotPie to chat about the ride thus far.

(RHP ) What do you like to go by? Michelle, Bombshell?

Michelle. I never liked the Bombshell, someone gave me that name years ago when I started modeling. I’ve tried to shake it but it always stuck

You’re being billed as the world’s most famous mistress, is that a label you’re comfortable with?

I’ve never liked being labeled a mistress. From the beginning I never thought of myself as the mistress. It always irritated me to be labeled as the homewrecker, the woman who ruined Sandra Bullocks marriage. I dated a guy who told me he was getting a divorce. I made a mistake that made headlines all over the world. Unfortunantely being so heavily recognizable, it’s hard for me to go on living as I did before. I guess I’ve grown used to the notoriety, but it’s something that I’ll never be comfortable with.

The fall-out from your involvement in the break-up of Sandra and Jesse seems to have presented you with some new opportunities, has that been the case?

I have been very lucky to have some great opportunities come my way. What people don’t understand is that when something like this happens to you, your whole world changes. I could coward out of the spotlight and wish it all away, but instead I faced the music and tried to make the best out of a bad situation.

Where has you new found fame taken you so far?

I’ve been to so many cool places I never thought I would see! I’ve been to every continent and still plan to see more. This will be my 5th time to Australia and by far my favourite place to be. I plan on going to South Africa and New Zealand this summer as well.

I read recently you were partying with Charlie Sheen before his overdose, how did that come about and what was he like to hang with?

Charlie’s a cool guy. It was such a weird coincidence we hung out. When I walked into his hotel room, nothing could of prepared me for what I saw. I’ve heard partying stories about him before, but this was so far out. The amount of drugs and alcohol in that room would of killed a football team. After one courtesy drink, my friend and I slipped out. We wanted nothing to do with what was going on in there. I hope Charlie gets the help he needs and wish him the best.

What were you doing before the story of your relationship with Jesse broke and you were thrown into the maelstrom of media attention, we’re you primarily a dancer?

Yes, I was a dancer and fetish model. I also had a good bit of notoriety in the tattoo world. I’ve been in every tattoo publication and just before the scandal broke, landed the cover of the biggest tattoo magazine. It was the highest selling tattoo magazine to date.

I heard you say in an interview you regret getting all your tattoos, was that a serious statement or were you joking around?

Yes I do regret my tattoos. I started getting tattoos because I didnt want to look like anyone else. Ironically, almost everyone has a tattoo now. I love my tattoos and accept that they are a part of who I am. But if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t of gotten any of them. We change so much as we get older: our views, our thoughts, our opinions, our tastes, out styles. Tattoos are SO permanent. They don’t change! It’s like wearing the same shirt your whole life.

You’re heading back to Australia for Sexpo Perth, you’ve done Sexpo before, how do you enjoy it?

I LOVE Sexpo! They’ve become like family to me. Such a great group of people to work with. There is nothing else like Sexpo in the world. I have such a blast every time I come out. I love the fact that there’s something for everyone at Sexpo. Whether your straight, gay, single, married, or a little bit of both…..you will find something that intrigues you. Sexpo is such a great place to explore. Come with an open mind and have a BLAST!

How do you rate the Aussie men?

Aussie men are unbelievable! I’ve kept it no secret that I am obsessed with Aussie guys! I love the accents and their attitudes.

Just as importantly, how do you rate the Aussie women?

Aussie women are equally as amazing! I’ve met the coolest girls in Australia! I am so lucky to have met such rad girls! It seems everyone in this country is super awesome!

You got together with Aussie motox rider Luke Urek at Sexpo last year, are you guys still together? How did you meet?

Yes I met Luke through a mutual friend at Sexpo last year. We just recently split up. The distance thing we just too much. He’s a great guy though and were still friends.

How does your romantic life work with such a crazy lifestyle atm?

my romantic life is nonexistent at the moment. It’s such a hard thing to balance because of what I do for a living. It takes a very strong, confident guy to date me. I’d like to find someone to settle down with eventually, but who knows if that will ever happen

What can people expect from you when they get along to Sexpo?

People can expect nothing less than a good time! I will be performing once a day on the main stage. I have a booth where I will be selling autographed posters and photos with fans. I sometimes like to cruise around the convention, so if you see me make sure you stop and say hello!

You’ll be chatting on the RedHotPie.com.au Sex Sessions stand too, what sort of stuff will you be chatting about?

I will be chatting about all sorts of sex stuff! I will be answering all your sex questions and giving advice on how to keep your man happy in bed! This seminar will be HOT!

For more information on Perth Sexpo 2011 and cheap RHP member tickets: CLICK HERE