If so, you may already be aware of some of the well established and revered international lifestyle destinations like Hedonism III in Jamaica, Cancun in Mexico, Cape D’Age in France, and many more.

Well, with these kinds of activities in mind, Team RHP has been busy working with some exciting new swinging travel partners to bring you some amazing new adult travel opportunities.

We are thrilled to announce a new and exclusive partnership with Luxury Lifestyle Vacations, the world’s most renowned adult event organisers, specializing in everything from lifestyle luxury cruises to full resort takeovers.

Pepe and Claudia from Luxury Lifestyle Vacations are the international authorities when it comes to lifestyle vacations; they have more than 20 years of experience in the travel industry, and in particular, international adult vacations.

Luxury Lifestyle Vacations understand that when you travel to a lifestyle event, you still want that intoxicating holiday adventure. Pepe and Claudia make it their mission to put you in a world of excitement, luxury, comfort and titillation by sourcing the perfect hotels and resorts for globe-trotting life-stylers seeking a holiday that can live up to their erotic fantasies.

To compliment this exciting new relationship, RedHotPie recently teamed up with Australian based lifestyle bloggers and travel hosts, Ellie and Al from Sexy Adult Vacations.

Ellie and Al have been traversing the globe for years, experiencing first hand the most erotic and exotic adult events on the international calendar, and now they’re putting that experience to good use by showing others the way to experience the same sensual highs.

Sexy Adult Vacations will be taking travel groups from RedHotPie to some of Luxury Lifestyle Vacations biggest international events; so if you’re ready for the hedonistic holiday of a lifetime, we’ve done all the hard work for you. Just check out the wide range of amazing lifestyle vacations on offer below:

Cafe Chocolate Ole – May 7-12^th 2016

Join Luxury Lifestyle Vacations Club and Grown & Sexy Crew for our 4th Annual Cafe Chocolate Ole’ Affair. Sexy couples from around the world will again indulge in a fun-filled week of assorted chocolate desires and other many succulent desire.

Expand your boundaries and satisfy both your chocolate and sexual fantasies.

There will themed pool parties, themed nights and sexy seminars by special guests entertainer Nyla The High Pimstress to delight you.

Sin City 6, Sat, June 1^rst -5^th  2016

Bronze Party is celebrating 6 years of sexy this year. Where are they taking their big celebration? Las Vegas, the party town of America!

Bronze Party is having a full takeover of Rumor Boutique Resort in Las Vegas on the nights of the 1^rst to the 5^th of June. There’ll be pool parties, masquerade themed party, burlesque and fetish ball and after parties until 5 am every night. Sounds like an event you do not want to miss out on.

Barcelona Wet Sun Weekend – June 3^rd-6^th, 2016

Modern spaces that are ideal for your social events.

The Meliá Barcelona Sarrià is an exclusive 5-star hotel located in the financial, cultural and commercial centre of the city of Barcelona.

A stone’s throw from the city’s main tourist attractions, five minutes from Paseo de Gracia and La Pedrera, and just ten minutes from Sagrada Familia and Parque Güell. Football fans will also love the fact that it’s just 5 minutes from Camp Nou.

After a long day of sightseeing and shopping, relax in our exclusive YHI Wellness Spa. Or, if you prefer, take advantage of our 24-hour gym.

Experience this hot Spanish city with like-minded people.

Ibiza Takeover – 5 days! June 6^th – 10^th  2016

This by invitation only event for only a few discerning couples!

Ibiza is known for being the world as being the party capital of the world.

If lush sexy ladies in minimal apparel appeal or dashing Don Juans in bulging speedos are to your taste, your ideal sexy destination has to be Ibiza.

A few places in universe offer such hedonistic pleasures as scantily-clad beach festivities followed by clothes-drenching foam parties as the world’s best DJs take center stage right in front of you.

Its infamous reputation dates back to the 1960’s when Hippies made it their own Mecca of easy-living pleasures. It has now transformed into the world’s premier party venue.

Ibiza has a hedonistic heritage stretching back more than 30 years, a place we all need to at least once in our lives.

Naughty in N’awlins, Wed July 6^th, 2016

Want to be part of the biggest Lifestyle convention in the USA? The Aussie Swingers are heading back to New Orleans, for this year’s Naughty N’awlins. RedHotPie and The Aussie swingers want you to join them.

Naughty N’awlins is a lifestyle and swinger couples convention and has been a popular event in America since 1999, which couples from all around the globe come to experience.

Where else in the world do you see a main street shut down and let a crowd of swingers throw a parade?

Whether you are beginning your journey into the swinger’s lifestyle or are an experienced couple, this is a great event to attend because the educational opportunities, to learn about etiquette, role-playing and all things concerning the lifestyle.

It’s a great chance to meet other experienced couples from around Australia and the world.

Book with The Aussie Swingers, as they will be accompanying you through the whole experience.

Cape d’Agde Takeover – 5 Nights Stay, July 21^rst to 26^th 2016

Luxury Lifestyle Vacation is having their third takeover event in Cap D’Agde in the Nude city of Southern France from the 21-26 of July.

This sensual party is taking place on the Le Jardin D’Eden, exclusively for the LLV couples. This is one event you can’t afford to miss. Party all night and sunbake naked during the day.

Paris – July 26-30^th 2016

Paris the city of love, romance and passion, a city that has witnessed many libertines since its inception. It has seen great romances, elopes and love affairs. It has a claim to uniquely redefine love in its own way.

Indulge your senses in a city that transpires all that is passionate – love, sex, and manage-à-trois. The food, the wine and, the atmosphere will lead only to decadence.

Join LLV in a naughty escape to Paris 2016.

Baltic Sensuell Cruise – Aug 2^nd – 11^th 2016

Don’t miss out on an exclusive chance to embark on a cruise trough some wonderful Northern European hotspots, on the sexiest cruise liner that has ever been put to sea – the Azamara Quest.

This 10-day adventure in the fabled Baltic Sea, where the days are long and nights hot.

Azamara is not a stranger to LLV and its entourage; so if you only take one lifestyle trip in 2016, make it this one.

Rumba Mediterranea Lifestyle Cruise – Aug 5^th-13^th 2016

If you ever desired to see the Mediterranean, why not embark on an unforgettable week with over 300 Lifestyle Couples? A journey of 8 days and 7 nights full ship takeover, couples only lifestyle swingers.

Like all LLV cruises, Rumba Mediterranean is full ship takeover clothing optional on all the pool and sundecks.

There’ll be a play room where couples can go explore.

 Puerto Vallarta Mexico Takeover – Oct 15^th-22^nd, 2016

A breathtaking destination, Puerto Vallarta, is the ultimate getaway. Barceló Puerto Vallarta hotel is the best resort in Mexico. It distinguishes itself from the rest with 5-star service and 4 prestigious AAA Diamonds.

With 316 spacious and luxurious Suites, clear pools, terrace and balcony with breathtaking views, this October Luxury Lifestyle Vacations will have an exclusive takeover from the 15 -22 October. Pamper yourself and see the world while you do what you like most.

Pamper yourself and see the world in this erotic and decadent journey with lifestylers while you do what you like most.

Halloween Takeover – Desire Resort, 28^th Oct – Nov 2^nd 2016

Come to the spookiest & sexiest week of all year with the classiest and hottest couples in the lifestyle!

Desire Pearl Resort & Spa, Riviera Maya, a beachfront hotel with breathtaking facilities and sweeping views of the Caribbean Sea, includes 32 Ocean Front Rooms, 13 Junior Suites, 36 Master Suites, and 7 Penthouse Passion Suites.

You are invited to enjoy our cutting edge entertainment, provocative theme nights, exclusive workshops and much more.

Bliss Lifestyle Cruise – Nov 27^th-Dec 4^th 2016

Bliss Cruise makes it easy for adventuresome couples to enjoy time at sea by offering adult-only, full-ship charters that tour exotic locations from Florida to the Eastern and Western Caribbean.

In some areas of the ship, clothing is optional — but all passengers are at least 21 years and older — so no need to worry about an under-aged crowd.

LLV voyages attract many open-minded groups such as swinger couples, nudists, voyeurs and, exhibitionists as well as curious individuals looking to experience something different from the conventional cruise vacation.

This 7-night cruise is a lifestyle cruise unlike any other. Don’t miss your chance to party with other like-minded people on-board this award willing Celebrity cruise ship.

Combining exotic, unique and once in a lifetime destinations coupled with the perfect atmosphere to fulfil your erotic sexual fantasies. What more could you ask for?

He lovingly gives his wife a kiss and hands her a G-string with a little giggle. “I got you a souvenir from work today,” he says in his thick Austrian accent.

If it seems an unusual gift for this average domestic scene, that’s because you don’t know what Anikka and Mick do for work.

This happily married pair are award-winning and highly in demand adult performers, the “Brangelina” of the porn world. They became the first married couple to simultaneously win male and female performer of the year at the Adult Video News (AVN) Awards in 2015, with Mick taking out the best male award again this year.

Despite their success, Anikka and Mick still face constant criticism for doing what they love. “The biggest negative is the stigmatism in society when people find out,” Mick explains. “The stigmatism for girls is bigger than for guys. If a girl does it, she is a whore.”

“People on Instagram are the worst,” Anikka continues. “They make comments as though because of what I do I don’t deserve to be loved or have a happy healthy relationship.”

It’s not just women who get a bad wrap for being involved in porn, though. The couple say the entire industry is tainted with the stereotype that performers are heavily reliant on drugs.

“That’s a problem with the media,” Mick says. “They put it in movies and they give us a bad wrap. Yes when you look at movies like Boogie Nights, it was a different era. And yes back then it was like that. Porn was more underground. But today in the industry you are an athlete and you are rated on your last scene. There are some people who party and take drugs, but it’s not more than other industry.”

For these two highly sexual beings porn is just a job, and an enjoyable one at that.

“There was this part of me that was very hypersexual, and before I got into the industry I didn’t have an outlet,” says Anikka. “Then I got into this industry and I have this life, but when I come home all I want to do is be with Mick.”

They may be enjoying it now, but working in porn isn’t always easy and for most performers it’s not a long term career. So how long will they stay in the industry? “We are both used to it and it’s basically our lives for now and we encourage each other to excel in it and enjoy it. We will stay as long as it makes us happy” says Annika.

But Mick explains it might not always be a choice. “It’s not about how long we want to deal with it but how long our bodies want to do it because it’s a very physical job.”

One reason Anikka will take a break for is motherhood. “When I have a baby I want to be able to give time to the baby but eventually I will came back to the industry,” she maintains.

“Just because you have a child does not mean you have to put your sexuality on hold. Yes you need to be safe and remain safe but there is a time and place for everything and you can fit a child into your life. You don’t take your kid to work with you.”

Weeks earlier I was running around the AVN awards (the Oscars of the porn world) with Anikka and Mick, where Anikka was the star of the show, co-hosting the night. Watching Mick and Anika walk the red carpet it was easy to imagine they were at any mainstream awards show.

Even Anikka’s mother was there in toe, proudly supporting her daughter and her son-in-law on their night of nights. The look on her face was of a mother who was proud of her daughter for doing what she loves. The only thing is, what she loves is having sex on screen. It’s not always easy to get your head around.

Spending time with Mick and Anikka, the biggest question playing on my mind was around infidelity and jealousy. During the awards show I heard another star on stage (who won for best anal scene) thank Anikka for allowing her to have sex with her husband to receive the award.

But surprisingly, Anikka doesn’t have a problem watching her husband on set. “There is this sense of security and even though he might be having sex with someone else, I know our connection won’t be broken” she explains.

“I think that the question is the definition of cheating,” explains Mick. “Cheating doesn’t necessarily need to be sex with someone. Cheating is more if you do something that doesn’t have the consent of the person you are with. If you went for a lap dance but didn’t tell your partner is that cheating? If you went to the movies and didn’t tell your partner you were going with another man or woman is that cheating?”

But what happens if they feel a real connection with another performer on set? “Feelings with a person come if you let the feelings come. You learn how to control that,” says Mick.

Anikka elaborates, “You learn how to put up walls so you protect yourself. There are times when I have an amazing scene but I will tell him about it. I’ll say something and he might not like to hear it but I will say it and it’s important for him to hear.”

But what about their sex life together? Surprisingly, there are no sex swings or dungeons at their house. Mick describes how different sex on set is to having sex at home. “If you have sex at home you can go at your own pace at your own times, it can be more intimate thing. If a camera would film this sex, the director would say it’s romantic and there is a connection but they would also say, ‘where is the penetration?’”

There are negatives to this job and there is a downside to the industry. But it was refreshing to meet a couple who have not only have succeeded in their professional and personal lives but are busting myths about what it means to be porn stars, just by being themselves and not letting a world define them by what (or who) they do.

When I entered their world, I wasn’t sure what I would find. But it was more normal, loving and supportive than most would think. If only they were allowed to show more of that in the work that they do.

Source: news.com.au

Do you have an open relationship? Could you be in one?? Tell us in the comments section below!

Not only is Sexpo the greatest lifestyle expo on the face of the planet, it’s now an awesome resource for anyone wanting to get a few tips from a qualified sexpert! Leading the charge at the RedHotPie.com.au Sex Sessions during the 2010 Melbourne Sexpo (Melbourne Convention Centre, Nov 25 – 28) will be nationally renowned sexpert, Fai Kur.

Fai will be running daily workshops on everything from spicing up sex sessions with your partner to the selection and usage of sex toys, and the best part – it’s all totally free! That’s right, once you’ve bought your ticket and entered the wonderland that is Sexpo, you’re free to rock along to any or all of Fai’s workshops and squeeze some sexy learnin’ out of your Sexpo experience.

RedHotPie sat down with Fai recently to get the lowdown on her role with Sexpo, the sexual state of Australia and her own romantic experiences as a sexpert.

(RHP) So Fai, tell us, how does one become a “Sexpert”

(Fai Kur) Well I think that in some small way we are all sexperts! (laughs)

However for me I specialized in sexual health by completing a Master of Health Science (Sexual Health) through The University of Sydney.

Additionally, I think my own history of having worked both as a sexual therapist (through my private practice “Sexual Focus”) and having worked in the sex toy industry for many years was a perfect fit for my role at Sexpo.

And how did you get involved with Sexpo initially?

Rob Godwin from Sexpo contacted me one day discussing the possibility of us creating a number of workshops for Sexpo Sydney and Melbourne 2010. My excitement was insane and then I received a second phone call from Rob during which he asked me if we could organise something for Sexpo Adelaide which was happening in three weeks time.

What is awesome, and I don’t even know if Rob knows this, but I decided to become a sex therapist when I attended Sexpo in Perth over 12 years ago. Little did I know that I would then go to uni for ten years and become the sex therapist for Sexpo Australia – it is very awesome!

So describe your workshops at the RedHotPie.com.au Sex Sessions stand.

Ahhh, brilliant question, I will admit they are kind of full on in the best possible way! I want, actually I need people, especially females to know that what we have been taught about our sexual anatomy is minuscule compared to the rich internal and extremely pleasurable landscape that exists within us all.

Knowing this and how the body experiences pleasure and orgasm can help all of us increase our sexual and orgasmic bliss. This knowledge is empowering and necessary for every man and woman to know.

These are a fantastic snippet of our 3 hour “I Am Woman” workshops that we run in Perth. We also run a few fun workshops where we share with you our expert knowledge of sex toys. We teach people how to choose the best toy for them.

What are people getting out of your workshops?

The list is endless. They get the opportunity to listen to a presentation that they would almost never get to experience anywhere else in the world.

Additionally they get me. I stay behind and have individual conversations / therapy sessions for those who have burning questions or some personal concerns.

It’s a part of my duty of care to be there for the patrons of Sexpo. We use the RedHotPie.com.au Sex Sessions stand to host educations sessions, fun toys sessions, practical workshops and individual and couples counselling.

The opportunity to be a part of this is a gift to me and a gift to the entire Melbourne community.

What kind of people would benefit from coming along?

Anyone who is over 18 and still alive!

What’s the funniest scene you’ve witnessed at one of your workshops?

In truth I think we can be hysterical at the end of the day. Sexpo is so much fun and the high and buzz just gets better and more intense as the day and night progresses, so by the time we get to 10pm we can be pretty hysterical.

What are you most looking forward to in regard to Melbourne Sexpo?

The opportunity to talk to as many people as possible; to share with them our knowledge about toys not only how to choose them but also how to use them. And all things relating to sex and sexual health.

We have a product range at Sexpo and I bring with me my awesome team from Perth. So whether you’ve never owned a toy or you have a tool box, you will still benefit from hanging out with us at the stand. We are painfully enthusiastic about what we do.

We are also looking forward to “vajazzling” and “testazzling” as many people as we can because at Sexpo you can truly be yourself we love celebrating our sexuality with jewels and Swarovski crystals. It’s crazy fun… we have some pics on our website.

What’s your number one, general sex tip for people?

Oh my god, only one? This is sex we are talking about – I need an entire week! Well, in regards to products: use an amazing silicone based lubricant for everything especially for hand jobs and with toys. And in regards to getting down and dirty, just relaxing during sex is crap – females need to engage their pelvic floor muscles and peripheral muscles to intensify their experience of orgasm and to learn the difference between the different types of orgasms. Ok and one more – engage in your erotic mind!

What’ the biggest problem facing the healthy sexual relationships of modern couples?

We are not taught how to communicate, how to work at a relationship, how to make love and have awesome sex!

However, the number one issue would be stress. It can suppress your sexual desire and it can really mess with the individual and the couple and sadly the issues that develop during those times can also impede on how they regain their old sexual spark.

Have you noticed a rise in casual sex as people hold off longer before getting married?

Perhaps we are talking about it more openly as doing it outside of marriage is more the norm and more acceptable. Also linking in or hooking up with people the way you can do on sites like RedHotPie makes it very easy to find like-minded people where you can be honest about your desires and your intentions.

Some people might be holding off on getting married, some people are still married and playing, some are playing as a couple and some people have just come out of a marriage, so I believe that the people playing out there come from all walks of life which makes the sexual landscape way more interesting and intriguing.

How about your own experiences? Are your potential suitors a bit intimidated by the thought of dating a sex therapist?

Hell yes. I have to point out to them that my job is to talk sex, not have sex; that I’m as normal as the next person with my own sexual and relationship history, but I’m not really sure if they are actually listening to me or if they are just waiting for me to shut up!

Do you have any trouble following your own advice?

(Laughs) let’s put it this way. When I am with someone I am in a relationship with them, I am not in therapy with them so I do have had to hold my tongue sometimes. But not for long cause it flops out eventually.

Sexpo 2010 hits Melbourne from November 25th through the 28th. For all Sexpo information and tickets visit www.sexpo.com.au

For more information about Fai and her practice just visit www.sexualfocus.com.au or www.vmpevents.com.au

A lot of people immediately feel awkward or uncomfortable at the thought of meeting a couple where one partner is more enthusiastic than the other about swinging which is only natural. We’ve all heard stories about couples where one partner is gung-ho while the other has simply come along just to make up numbers. You know. The wife who sits quietly in the corner sipping soft drinks and avoiding eye contact while her husband shags the entire club? Or the hornbag girlfriend who can’t get enough while her man bows out after round one and seems more content tweeting on his iPhone? It just seems so wrong.

Or is it really that wrong? I get that we want to give a wide berth to couples where it’s blatantly obvious that one partner is completely against the idea of swinging but participates just to keep the peace. No one wants to get physical with people who aren’t really giving themselves to you willingly in lustful abandon. Neither does anyone want to be friends with someone who is selfish enough to ignore the well-being of their own partner in the name of getting their rocks off. But what if the couple you meet are terrifically great people who love each other deeply but just simply don’t swing with synchronised enthusiasm?

If you think about how one couple can often have mis-matched sex drives, it should really come as no surprise that differing libidos can affect how that couple plays in the swinging scene. The less highly sexed partner may still enjoy all the benefits of being in the lifestyle but doesn’t need to do much more than kiss and fondle a little to get their jollies. It often doesn’t have anything to with sexual attraction either as many people are turned on by their play partners but just don’t feel the need to play for a long time or in any intense way. That partner’s sex drive may also differ from month to month and due to factors such as stress and even self-esteem (eg – he or she may feel less sexy with winter weight on). Does that mean such couples shouldn’t participate in the scene at all?

As a couple who has an equal lust for swinging, it may come as a shock to end up in bed with another couple only to find that as the night progresses there only appears to be three people playing. For some though, it may end up being an ideal scenario, particularly for couples who enjoy threesomes. However, having uneven numbers is unnerving for others. This may especially be the case for newer couples who may expect swinging to be a completely balanced thing and couples who may have had issues in the past with one partner getting more attention than the other due to the non-participation of one partner from the other couple. No one likes getting left out!

So are we more or less offended by such imbalances because someone misses out on some element of the action while someone else in the mix gets more than their perceived fair share of attention? Even the most experienced and laid-back couples have dealt with the friction caused by this sort of inequality but does this really speak more about how inflexible some other people are in the scene and their own personal insecurities? After all, if we’re meant to enjoy watching our partner enjoy themselves sexually, should it really matter if for one night you’re not getting as much sexy time as your partner? If anything, does playing with a couple who has differing appetites for swinging force you to see how well your own relationship can tolerate an imbalance in sexual attention?

Perhaps the issue is more to do with how often this sort of swinging imbalance occurs in your playtime. Certainly, one night may be excusable but if the same scenario keeps playing out and it’s not to your liking then it’s time to speak up. The couple you otherwise adore may be happy for the guy to pound away while his lady provides the occasional hand pump or nipple tweak but if that doesn’t really suit you then you should address that point to them or find some new friends who like an equal measure of flesh pounding. Even the most non-jealous person would still prefer an even playing field at the end of the day.

If a swinging imbalance happens on the first play date and you’re sure you won’t play with that couple again, you may as well enjoy whatever you can out of it. If you’ve found yourself in a room with straight woman with a voyeuristic husband who clearly wants your partner to ride her to paradise and back, you can either be gracious and let your man have some fun or join in to give him a mind-blowing FMF threesome. If you find yourself twiddling your thumb at some point then there’s certainly nothing wrong with having a word with your partner and ending the night amicably. If the swinging imbalance is just completely unacceptable to you then it’s important to ensure that your partner knows how you feel and make your excuses.

Where you’ve had some great sexual times with a couple who have slowly started to show signs of differing sexual appetite then you need to weigh the pros and cons of remaining play friends with them. If it doesn’t bother you that one partner is less active than the other, then you can carry on with your merry ways. After all, unless you’ve struck up an monogamous swinging relationship with that couple, you’re bound to meet other dynamic duos who can match your enthusiasm, one for one. The important thing is to not take things personally either and wind up believing that someone’s lack of enthusiasm is your fault.

If you happen to be a couple whose individual interest in swinging differs a little or even a lot, the best thing you can do is talk openly about it with each other. If the less interested partner makes a clear indication that they’d rather not swing at all, then that decision has to be honoured. If they are genuinely interested and otherwise happy to be a part of the lifestyle then you both need to be mindful of how that may still affect the way you play with other couples. There’s no point going to an orgy if it’s highly likely that your partner will prefer to just engage in soft swinging. Out of courtesy, it may also be a good idea to ensure that the more enthusiastic partner doesn’t make a total pig of themselves (unless the other people clearly don’t mind).

If seeking couples on RedHotPie, your profile may be the best opportunity to make mention that your partner may be on the shy side or that there are certain things that they prefer not to do. It may limit the type of people who take interest in you to some extent but it will certainly save you problems later.

Aren’t you the guy who fixed our computer?

One of the key reasons people still seem hesitant to post their face shots on sites like RedHotPie, or even sign up on one at all, is the fear of being recognised by people they know. Now, I do get the need for discretion but I always find it amusing that people worry about being spotted by those who are pretty much on the RHP for largely the same reasons. I think this has a lot to do with most people preferring to keep their horizontal life separate to their vertical one. Indeed, it does keep things uncomplicated. I suspect also that some couples actually enjoy appearing benign and boring in their ‘normal’ world and reserve their wild, sexy persona as a naughty little secret.
For others, having their sexuality speculated on by people who have otherwise only known them as their co-worker, local councillor or barista is plain horrifying. Alternatively, there’s also the concern that revealing such a personal and vulnerable side of yourself shoots down any sort of professional or social face you’ve put up to that person. Rather sad to think that you’re potentially viewed as being less of an upstanding citizen or responsible employee just because you enjoy having an extra person or two in the bedroom every now and then. I’d like to think that we’ve moved beyond that sort of mindframe but I certainly wouldn’t knock a couple for wanting to safeguard their lives, especially if they believe their livelihood or family’s well being may be negatively affected by narrow-mindedness.
To be fair, nothing should matter more to you than maintaining ‘normality’, especially where work and family are concerned but it makes sense to simply apply common sense to swinging. Consider how likely it is to meet people on RHP that you know in the real world. Is that likelihood affected by you living in the city or the country? How bad (really) would it be if someone did discover that you dabble in group sex? Weigh up all the risk factors before resorting to clandestine meetings and using false names.

Can you be discreet but still have fun?

Ironically, as much as this article is about discretion, there happens to be a lot of couples playing the game and therefore competition aplenty. You may think that with so many couples online on RHP, your chances of meeting people would be high but you’d be sadly mistaken. Couples are very much driven by visuals first, with written content and other details sealing the deal for a play match. So how can you stand out from the crowd if you don’t want to put up photos and rely on one or two cautious sentences to sell yourself?
If discretion is of paramount importance to you then you have to accept that you probably can’t be passive players. By this I mean that your profile is unlikely to get hit on purely because it exists. It’s going to be up to you to strike up the first conversation. This most often will mean paying some level of membership in order to initiate contact with people, unless you’re content to be an online wallflower. If you have the power to approach people, you can describe yourself in better detail via messages and give people access to private galleries. If things don’t lead anywhere, then turn off that access and no harm done. If someone bites, you can determine the next level of personal information to provide and take things from there.

How discreet is too discreet?

Fortunately, online dating sites afford people a good amount of anonymity and you can ultimately control the amount of information you provide others. In short, there would have to be a complete freak occurrence for someone to randomly pick you out of thousands of profiles and work out exactly who you are. More often than not, it’s error in judgment on the user’s side that gives their game away. For example, if you live in a country town with a population of two thousand people, it may be wise to list yourself as residing elsewhere, especially if the majority of your playtime is spent out of your home town anyway.
As I touched on previously, I wouldn’t criticise a couple for going to certain lengths to maintain discretion but if it starts to affect your mental health (ie – you’re constantly looking over your shoulders) or if your efforts start to work against you in that no one wants to meet you for being too cagey, then you may need to review your strategy. It’s all very well to be discreet but is there a fine line between protecting your identity and failing to provide enough of yourself to attract others and to maintain a meaningful friendship if that is what you seek.
Other than a small number of couples who purely seek NSA (no strings attached) play-only arrangements, you’ll find that most couples will want to engage in a more social, friendly relationship over time. This means discussing work, lifestyle, family and other things that give people an insight into your personality. Unless you are a high profile couple (celebrity, politician or church leader etc.), most people won’t understand your need for Grade A secrecy and may even mistake it for pretentiousness. As such, you should gauge your need for discretion based on the friendships you make; bit by bit. If you’re going to constantly worry about whether your new friends’ cousin’s chiropractor knows the president of your child’s P&C, then you should stick to NSA swinging. If your new friends also still only know you by your false names a year on, you could also be taking things a bit too far.

What happens when your ‘normal’ & swinging worlds collide?

This will happen from time to time. You’ve left the ladies to sort the details of a drinks date (not unusual given it’s the best way to determine that a couple is bona fide). You rock up at the local pub and it’s only then you work out that the guy from the other couple is in fact the policeman who gave evidence against you at your hearing for urinating in public. Stranger things have happened. What do you do? You act like civil adults and either agree to enjoy a chat over drinks (whether you consider playing later in spite of the circumstances is up to you all) or decide to call it a night there and then on the understanding that there is an unwritten law of discretion in swinging. It may be tempting to tell your mates that Constable Mean is on an adult dating website but then you’d need to explain to them why *you* know (and don’t say you just came upon the information; they’ll work it out for themselves). You don’t do anything silly because the other party can be just as stupid and before you know it, you’ll be known on RHP as the guy who cut a slash in public and what couple is up for meeting classy folk like that? It’s a win-win situation to remain quiet. That’s just how it is.
On a less dramatic scale, should you come across the parents of your child’s classmate or the lady who owns the local beauty salon, don’t freak out. It may be embarrassing and uncomfortable initially but it’s no less so for the other party. Just be adults about it and move on as if it’s cool. You’re not doing anything illegal and if the other party are online RHP as well (or at a swingers party etc.) then their definition of what’s normal or weird isn’t going to differ too much from yours. You’re not obliged to play with people you bump into in Swingerland so in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that bad is it? I think it’s much worse to be caught urinating in public personally.

In this article, we’ll look at how couples can balance having recreational sex with everything else that should matter to both partners in their day-to-day life, as well as easy plans to make the most of what little time some couples have at the end of a working week. Both defining your priorities in regards to swinging and having a game plan will help you meet other couples who may be most in tune with your needs. The overall aim is to customise your swinging style so that the lifestyle can be something you enjoy for years to come.

Don’t Get Burnt Out

“It sounds pathetic but Lou and I got so horny from our swinging experiences that little else mattered for a while. That is until we realised that a few month’s worth of Saturday nights of eating, drinking and shagging, minus our usual Sunday morning swim at the pool was not helping our waistline at all. We were getting unfit and looking pretty ordinary which started to make us feel pretty unsexy. It defeated the whole purpose of swinging and feeling good about ourselves.”

No one needs reminding that there are many things far more important than swinging, yet it’s also understandable for some couples to get caught up in the heady excitement of spicing up their sex lives (especially in the early days) that before they know it, other pleasures simply fall by the wayside. We’re all fickle creatures and can easily drop one interest for another but it’s important to ensure that your new interest doesn’t impact negatively on another. Burning the midnight oil (and beyond) on a Saturday night with a hot new date is all very well and good but if it regularly prevents you from your Sunday morning cycle, or taking Fido to the beach then you need to reconcile those changes.

Work out what is important to you and adjust your involvement in the lifestyle accordingly. There’s nothing wrong with being enthusiastic and meeting every couple who approaches you on RHP but be mindful of what has to give in order for you to do so. You may have to actually note what your limits are insofar as meeting people is concerned. Perhaps you may allow for every second Saturday to be play nights and the occasional Fridays and Sundays for meets. If you have always had a routine outside of the lifestyle, you should maintain it. Ideally, arrange dates around what you would normally do and not the other way around. If one Saturday a month you have a DVD night with your straight neighbours, then look at it as a your rostered night off from the swinging game.

Don’t forget your vertical (non-swinging) friends either. Swinging is a great way to make some close friends but make sure you leave enough time to maintain other ties, as less exciting as they may be. You may find over time that your horizontal friends are close enough to introduce to your vertical friends so your catch-ups can include both sets of friends, albeit with vertical activities. You can always get naughty later in the night once your vertical friends go home.

Failure To Launch

“Jane started studying full time and took on a job as a night-filler for Woolies while I agreed to do some work up at the mines a couple of weeks at a time. Aside from having less time to enjoy together, our swinging life has completely been wrecked. It’s not the be-all-and-end-all but we do feel left out.”

There are couples who would love to meet people non-stop but simply don’t have the time. Whether it is due to work or family commitments, there never seems to be a point in the week where a date can be arranged. On the rare moment an evening becomes free, there seems to be no one around to meet, or if you have been in touch with a couple briefly, you haven’t done enough online wooing (read pic swapping etc.) to coax them out for a drink. The frustration metre is close to overload!

If your work schedule is keeping you from arranging dates on the more conventional days and times, try organising a coffee or lunch date during the week with couples who are perhaps similarly flat out. You may not have an opportunity to play but at least you can meet people and build a rapport. If you do meet a couple that you’d like to get to know better, then hopefully you can organise a play time that suits everyone but without the added pressure of trying to impress upon them that you are interested and aren’t just making excuses as to why you can’t be nailed down for a date.

Most importantly, don’t beat yourself up over not being able to meet people as often as you like. You will find that a majority of couples are in the same boat and those who expect you to be free every weekend are probably not going to be people you will be able to maintain contact with for the long term. Let people know on RHP that you are indeed an active and interested couple but that your work situation means that meeting at a drop of a hat isn’t feasible. Laying these cards down should attract couples who understand where you’re coming from.

Target Time Compatible Couples

“We were soooo hot for a couple we chatted up on RHP but every time we tried to arrange a date with them, they either couldn’t get a babysitter, or one kid was sick or they were having a Tupperware party which we weren’t interested in. We started to wonder if they were really swingers and what was the point?”

Every couple’s home and work situation varies as much as the type of music you can listen to. Some couples do not have children and work from home whereas other couples may have a brood of five and work shifts or weekends. This makes for a lot of couples who are simply not compatible with each other just purely based on home and work commitments. That isn’t to say that couples on either extremes are never going to meet and play but it pays to be realistic in the lifestyle and either make allowances for people with less flexible lives, or seek out couples who have similar set-ups to you. This will save all parties from frustration and the use of the dreaded label ‘time waster’.

If your home and work situation changes dramatically (eg – your partner takes on a fly-in, fly-out job or there’s a new baby on the way) then you need to re-balance your lifestyle accordingly. There is no way you are going to play the same way but that doesn’t mean you should give up entirely either. You may not be able to say ‘yes’ to a date right away but if a night does free up, then use RHP’s DateFinder to get yourself a date. This is a great way to ensure a good night out (or in) without having to commit yourself prior to a free moment coming up.

Don’t forget: the point of swinging is to mix it up and meet lots of cool people (shagging lots of people is an option). If you come up against a stonewall with one couple, then move on to the next one until they’re able to come back to you with a time and day to meet. Sometimes all the arranging and waiting in the world can’t get you and a particular couple together so make the call and either give up completely or stick them on the back burner. The choice is always yours so don’t grumble. Find other play friends!

Clever Networking

“Dave and I didn’t plan it this way but we had double-booked ourselves with two awesome couples. We bit the bullet and explained to both what we had done and asked if they were OK about us all meeting. They both thought it was a great idea and we had a fun night. One couple was more into the girl/girl thing so went home but the other couple came back to ours and we’re still still having a good time.”? Any couple will tell you that it can take quite a few one-on-one dates to finally meet a twosome you really get hot and horny over. Some hit the proverbial bonanza and score on the first date but for others it can take time, patience and a good deal of coffee drinking. Add to this any time constraints you may have and months can pass since your last successful play date.

To remedy this, consider arranging group meets rather than meeting just one couple at time. Naturally this works best if you have already made some couple friends and they are amenable to arranging a date en masse. However some couples you are approaching for the first time may also be happy to meet you with another couple, so it may be worth investigating. Do stress to all concerned if playing is optional as some couples are happy to meet over drinks but prefer their playing one-on-one.

Other means of meeting lots of people at once is sexy couples parties and drinks nights. RedHotPie’s events section boasts fantastic events and parties well ahead of time so you can try and mastermind a fabulous night of swinging fun that can be worked into your busy diary.

On a final note, let’s keep in mind that it’s not a contest. No one gets an award for meeting the most couples on RHP so don’t feel compelled to compete or compare yourselves with others. Naughty Gen Y and Baby Boomer couples may have the luxury of time sans children or stressful jobs but everyone else will have one thing or another that prevents them from playing to the extreme. Even if you did, consider if you would anyway. At the end of the day, swinging is about sex and no one enjoys sex if they are pressured to perform or if they think they need to meet a quota of some sort.

Enjoy the opportunities that come your way without effort. Just do your part to try and keep the path as clear as possible.

Situation #1: Stage fright on opening night

Your drinks date with a new couple has turned out very well and you are all in absolute, definite, positive agreement that playing is on the cards. You go back to their place and after a few more drinks, move into the bedroom to get to know each other better. There’s a lot of foreplay and the atmosphere is sexually charged. Sadly, one (or both) of the guys seems unable to plug and play. End of party?

Damage Control: This happens far more often than one thinks amongst the male of swinging couples, particularly if they are new to the scene. Factors such as alcohol, condoms, an unfamiliar bedroom and an even more unfamiliar woman are not conducive to instant, all-night erections for most men.
If you’re all good sports then just write the experience off as first time jitters and either continue with the foreplay, let the girls have fun (if bisexual) or turn to the more familiar waters of your own partner to finish the night off. Reassure everyone that the night has been fun and don’t put any pressure on each other to try again. Even if partner swapping is integral to your swinging experience, pressure is never going to help a penis.

How to Avoid: It’s probably unreasonable to demand that the couples you meet are all ‘sure performers’ but if you do want to improve your odds, consider hand-picking openly experienced couples whose profiles pretty much demand partner swapping. If this isn’t your thing either, then patience is required.
More often than not, the second time is the charm for couples once the nerve-wracking first time is done and dusted. Even the more experienced men feel better at ease knowing the other party are happy to give it another shot. Try and eliminate excessive alcohol consumption and ensure you give yourselves enough time to enjoy yourselves. There’s also nothing worse than trying to perform in the wee small hours of the night when you’d really rather be asleep.
If the performance issue is an ongoing problem for you, then you may need to accept that partner swapping is off the menu and simply enjoy foreplay swapping and sex with your own partner. More and more couples are engaging in this type of ‘soft’ swinging, and happily so. Otherwise, your other option is to seek pharmaceutical assistance which has become well favoured by modern swingers. Embarrassed by the thought of seeing your GP for a prescription? Well don’t be. As long as your GP is happy with your health, she/he won’t care why you need those magic pills.

Situation #2: “Thanks but I am not into penises other than my own”

Neither of you are homophobic but Mr is certified straight and has no interest in playing with other men. You therefore tend to meet couples who are similar in orientation out of convenience and consideration. However, at a swingers party (where sadly no one has their sexual orientation scrawled on their foreheads) some guy has found religion in the form of your penis. You’d rather he prayed somewhere else but what to do?

Damage Control: How a man handles this situation will be a true test of his cool. Many will no doubt be tempted to run far, far away (naked and all) but if possible, keep things civil and politely extract your member from the other party’s hand/mouth and explain that you are completely straight and even passive activities are not of interest. If the incident hasn’t put a dent in your evening, continue. If it has, move on to new play friends or call it a night.

How to Avoid: Other than stressing to couples you meet online that absolutely no male/male interaction is allowed (without sounding like a complete homophobe), there’s not much you can do, especially at a party where you can’t immediately tell who is into what. Fortunately, most bisexual guys in the scene know better than to latch onto random penises (unless they are at a party specifically for bi men) so this sort of thing is not likely to happen that often.
However, it pays to be mindful that the scene does require an open attitude. Even if you’re not bi, you do need to accept that incidental touching can occur from time to time, especially if a number of guys are man-handling the same lady on the same bed. Not your scene either? Then you’re best to stick to meeting couples where you can control what happens in the bedroom a little more.

Situation #3: Wasn’t he supposed to be 6-foot tall and she an Angelina look-alike?

You’ve arranged a date with a couple you’ve been chatting up. They’re self-rated as ‘very attractive’ on their RHP profile and their private gallery is full of great x-rated body shots which instills you with hope and excitement. On meeting them in the flesh however, you’re lost for words: the couple promised a Brangelina clone but delivered a pair of tourists from Middle Earth.

Damage Control: If the couple hasn’t stretched the truth too much (or you have a thing for Hobbits), you may as well have a chat over a few drinks (extending your social network is never a bad thing either). After all, you may rate them as ‘average’ but who’s to say they can’t rate themselves as ‘very attractive’? Maybe other people would agree with them? It’s all quite subjective at the end of the day.
However, if the difference between their photos/profile and the real thing is so great that you can’t even pretend that there’s nothing amiss, then you should by all means approach this point, albeit delicately and preferably the next day after you’ve had some time to think about whether that difference was perceived (you had high expectations) or real (they were being deceptive). If the latter, just be frank and let them know that they should consider revising their profile and photos. They’ll get the message.

How to Avoid: This is tricky as how a person rates themselves is completely subjective. Just because someone is not attractive in your eyes, doesn’t mean that they are not to someone else. You should therefore not put too much credence on a person’s self-rating unless you appreciate the confidence it takes for a couple to rate themselves so highly.
Photos are a good start to see if attraction exists but do ask for a face photo also if body shots are not enough. If it is very important that the couple you meet looks exactly like their photos, see if you can arrange a webcam chat date before actually meeting. You can also ask the couple to photo verify their RHP profile which will tell you that their photos do actually belong to them. Furthermore, if the couple you are meeting have a lot of validations or friends on RHP, you should get an idea that this couple is genuine and probably well-liked for that reason.

It’s going to be hotter than a Hades and we want the best in the west to get along, after all, how can we give you the thumping great plasma screen TV if you don’t show up?

No, Father Christmas ain’t got nothin’ on us; once again we’ll be the stand giving away the giant plasma screen because we’re about the love, big electrical goods love in this case!

Not only are we hookin some lucky punter up telly style, we’ve also arranged a gut busting, RedHot Sexpo ticket offer. Yup, if you head on over to the SEXPO SITE, select the tickets you want and then just punch in the code RHP09 you’ll be paying $20 instead of the normal $25 for your ticket… cool huh?!?

You can bet your sweet behind that this year’s Perth Sexpo is going to be the best yet with heaps of amazing attractions including…

– The RedHotPie Amateur Strips

– The Sexpo Ashes series (win a trip to London!!!)

– Pricasso

– Russell Gilbert

– Penthouse Pet Suzie Q

– Amateur Pole Dancing

– The Amateur Strips

– The Laporium

– Hypnotist Mark Anthony

– Bad boys

– Strip Poker

So come along and experience the fun and frivolity of Sexpo, and take our Plasma… no pun intended… promise.

While some think that fetishes are sexual obsessions the truth is that these days a fetish is anything that heightens your sexual experience – even more than usual. It could be getting gagged and bound or having your naughty little romp video taped, it could be dressing up in leather or having sex with a complete stranger… even your love of women in heels could be painted with the ultra sexy fetish brush.

Hot guys and girls all over the country are pulling on their finest fetish gear to get cheeky and sweaty with other sexy couples and single ladies. The Saints and Sinners ball in Victoria is Australia’s largest and most institutionalised fetish event and has been running for 18 years. They attract thousands of fetish lovers from all over the world to experience the sensational delights of the night. Each year, party goers are amazed at the awe inspiring multi level auditorium filled with thousands of sexy people dressed in erotic outfits. The B&D area is always busy with resident masters and mistresses pleasuring like never before. “Saints and Sinners continues to break new ground with another year of record attendance and horny action in the dark (and not so dark).”

Known to have the best real life fetish displays and pushing the boundaries to the most extreme, Connections is a Perth icon that holds theme events with BDSM on the menu. This gay and lesbian club is renowned for incorporating mainstream fetish crowds at their wild and lusty parties. This year saw a huge success with Hellbent and Connections are following it up with Bound and Gagged “another night of freaky fetish fun, dark desires, and perverted pleasures.”

Of course BDSM is not the only saucy delight that Australian’s enjoy. Sydney party organisers Pure Domination hold high class themed fetish or fantasy parties where everything from ropes to glitter are a go. Not always BDSM orientated, their focus on the art of seduction and eroticism heightens the senses for a truly memorable experience held in a hip and sophisticated venue in the heart of trendy Darlinghurst. This month their fetish and fantasy theme remains but with an extra twist of a Show Girl theme to really heat things up.

With so many fetishes for you to try we thought we’d give you a taste of just a few.

Trampling Fetish

If you’ve ever had someone walk on you during sex then you’ve been trampled on and if you haven’t tried it then give it a go – it’s exhilarating for those who get off on domination. The woman wears high heels while she walks over the man’s chest, throat, stomach, and crotch. Funny thing is that the man will barley move even when the woman is standing on his crotch with spiked heels. The men love the idea of being under a woman’s heel and the woman loves being on top. It’s a win-win situation where everyone gets off!

Latex and Leather Fetish

Seeing a hot body adorned in tight leather or latex could quite possibly be one of the sexiest sights to see and lucky for those who love this theme as it has an enormous underground culture. There are retail stores where you not only purchase anything and everything latex and leather related, you can also find out about latex parties where you will be surrounded by people dressed in leather and latex all night long.

Uniform Fetish

Who doesn’t go crazy for a man in uniform or a woman dressed in a cheerleaders outfit? This is a very popular fetish for men and women alike and it really brings the fantasy and fetish world together for a truly naughty night. This fetish is fairly broad and can be taken to any degree you feel comfortable with. A female doctor who seduces her patient or a medieval knight who knows how to use his sword – the options are only limited by your cheeky imagination.

Balloon Fetish

This one is a little unusual and so we just had to include it! This fetish involves being turned on by balloons; the smell, the noise, the excitement of not knowing when they are going to pop. People who enjoy this fetish are known as ‘looners’ and just hearing a hottie huffing and puffing on a balloon is enough to drive them over the edge.

Got a fetish that takes you to new pleasurable heights? Ever been with someone who introduced you to a fantasy you had never imagined before? Tell us all about it!

The British Health Service has come around to our line of thinking and has advocated regular sex as an effective way of reducing health risk and increasing physical and mental wellbeing. In a recent academic article released by the National Health Service entitled ‘Get More Than Zeds in the Bed’ they state that sex, with a little bit or passion and imagination thrown in, provides a workout worthy of any honed athlete. “Forget about jogging around the block or struggling with sit-ups. Sex uses every muscle group, gets the heart and lungs working hard, and burns about 300 calories and hour. Wow! That equates to the calories consumed in a large chocolate mud cake. Mmm, I guess that means you can have your cake and eat it too.

Apart from the fitness aspect, there are also other health benefits that will help you to stay looking young. The increased production of endorphins released in the love making process ‘will make your hair shine and your skin smooth.’ And ‘if you’re worried about wrinkles – orgasms even help prevent frown lines from deepening.’ The extra production of hormones estrogen and testosterone ‘will keep your bones and muscles healthy, leaving you feeling fabulous inside and out.’

So if you want to look your best this summer, RedHotPie suggests hooking up online now with other hot members and literally shaking that ass into shape in the bedroom for that killer bod.

To get you started RedHotPie has compiled a list of benchmarks:

a) 1 hr. intensive foreplay burns off:
1 (large) chocolate cake.

b) 25 min. nonstop lovemaking burns off:
2 slices of pizza with cheese and mushrooms.

c) 53 min. of kissing partner burns off:
1 cheeseburger with chips.

d) MAKING THE FIRST MOVE
If you are shy: 15cal
If you are anxious: 43cal
If you beg: 100cal

e) REMOVING CLOTHES
Removing your own: 12cal
Removing your partners with cooperation: 20cal
Without partner‘s cooperation: 187cal
Removing socks by violently shaking feet: 200cal

f) ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE
Expression didn‘t change: 0.5cal
Shoes flew off: 15cal
Room turned purple: 4cal
Face turned purple: 78cal
Moaning in Yiddish: 200cal

g) TAKING A BATH TOGETHER
In a bath: 10cal
In a jacuzzi: go back to stage d) and start it all over again.

h)After Sex talk:
After sex bed talk: 8cal
Pretending your interested in the after sex bed talk: 20cal
Being discovered by your partner’s parents and forced to jump out the window and escape down the street butt naked: 300cal

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4703166.stm