First dates are really important, it’s all about making the right impression and it’s really scary because things could go wrong or not. First dates are probably one of the most terrifying things we do. Do you know what is even more important on a first date? Is to find out as much as you can about the person you’re out with. It might seem awkward at first and this is why we’re thought of 6 questions that might get you started. 6 questions you should ask on your first date…

What do you ask someone you are dating for the first time? Here are 6 questions you should ask on your first date because the answers to them can be quite revealing.

1. Ask about their beliefs/values and priorities

It doesn’t have to be anything too serious. It could be questions on the line of; ‘ What do you like to do, how do you spend your time, what makes you happy?’ If you like, they can be more in-depth questions but maybe save them for another date.

The answers to these questions should tell you quite a lot about the person you’re on a date with. True compatibility comes in matching values, beliefs and priorities mixed with chemistry.

2. Ask them how they spend their weekend

Finding out how they spend their free time or busy time, will help you find out about their interests, priorities and socialisation habits. All are important to find out about to decide whether you are compatible or not. If they are an outdoor type of person who likes to spend time fishing, surfing and kayaking. You, on the other hand, like to chill and binge-watch Netflix. This could become a problem…

3. Ask about their regrets

By sharing embarrassing moments and regrets, the other person becomes more vulnerable and this is a way to build intimacy. Intimacy is a key player in a long and lasting relationship.

4. Ask them if they make their bed every morning

If you are a neat freak this is going to matter because nobody wants to be picking up after the other person. How they answer will give you insight into their need to have order, organisation. It also tells you whether they are a morning person or not.

5. Ask about their worse date 

Hopefully, you won’t hear- “This is the worst date I’ve been on”. Otherwise, this question can lead to a few laughs and it’ll give you an indication whether they have a good sense of humour. Being able to laugh at life and its many awkward moments is really important. We have all experienced a terrible first date and on the hindsight, they are hilarious when you re-tell them. They make for great ice-breakers too.

6. Ask about their family

This question will tell who they are closets within their family or if they are close at all. It might reveal whether relationships are important to them or not.

Hopefully, these questions will give you enough o work with on your next first date and maybe help you find your perfect match. Good luck.

Featured photo by Korney Violin on Unsplash

H/T HelloGiggles

Male sexual response: Men need to get physical to open up and emotionally connect with their partner.

Female sexual response: Women need to feel emotionally connected to their partner before opening up physically.

How do we make relationships work when our physical intimacy responses are exactly opposites? Wouldn’t this then lead to long-term relationships ending in resentful and sexless pairings?

Some relationships wind up succumbing to resentful and sexless affairs, but the truth is they needn’t.  Bridging this opposing approach to intimacy is not impossible, all it requires, is to understand each other’s sexual responses.

What is the secret to a long, healthy sex life? A husband’s ability to turn his partner on, lads, it’s also knowing what turns her off too.

If you are doing these 5 unsexy things men do that turn women off sex and kill the mood, it’s time you stopped as they might be the reason things went from hot to not.

1.    You don’t look after yourself

Human bodies change through the years and we all accept that. All it takes, is to show you are making an effort at maintaining your appearance. This signals to your partner that they are worth making an effort for.

2.    Groping her is a big NO

Randomly groping her boobs or ass does not cause her to like or love you more, it often can be irritating. Neither does touching her only when you want sex work toward building intimacy.

Intimacy can be cultivated in many ways, such as spending quality time together, enjoying physical, non-sexual contact, or enjoying shared interests and listening to each other. Sex is only one way in which people give and receive love, so although it is very important, it is not the only way to develop or express intimacy.

Lads this is what you need to take from this: Intimacy for women starts way before she has made her way into the bedroom.  Genuinely compliment her, help her out with house chores, whisper sweet nothings into her ears, cuddle her and kiss her without sexual intent. These will make her feel loved, appreciated and valued and now is she truly geared for more.

3.    Avoiding foreplay

There have been studies that showed 75% women can’t orgasm from vaginal sex alone, which makes foreplay ultimately the number one skill for any man to be considered a good and considered lover.

Apart from this obvious element, there is one that is most important to any woman’s desire – her mind.

Men get turned on with their eyes, and women get turned on with their ears and mind. Women need to feel heard, to feel loved, to feel safe, valued, desired and vulnerable for physical intimacy.

While all the above is true, women have a role in being open to sex. To nurture this sexual openness in your partner the best thing you can do as a man is to continuously reassure her of your love and your desire for her.

4.    Learn what pleases your partner

We are all different and what turns one woman on might be another’s turn-off. Find out what your partner’s turn-ons and turn-offs are. Real intimacy and great sex only happens when both are enjoying yourselves.

Ensure that she’s as aroused as you are and that she achieves her orgasms too.

5.    Learn to take rejection

Getting angry, sulking or giving your partner the silent treatment after she turns you down is only going to cement your sexless relationship rut.

This is probably the hardest thing to navigate in a relationship. Nobody likes to be rejected, it hurts and is ego deflating, but occasionally your partner has the right to say “no” to sex.

If it happens all the time, it’s a problem you both need to address. However, if it happens ever so often, as she might not be in the mood, then making her feel bad will make her feel resentful.  Feelings of resent never lead to a hot, sexy fun.

Occasionally, she might go with the flow, because we all know that no one can bring their A game every single time.

Sex is a wonderful part of any relationship and the husband who knows his wife deeply and understands his wife’s dynamics of intimacy will enjoy a wonderful life of intimacy and sex. When you build her intimacy it will lead to sex and sex will lead to intimacy.

Unlike you, your wife needs to feel emotionally connected to you before she is able to physically express it. So, the most important thing you can do to make sure your wife feels turned on and desires you, is making sure your marriage, outside the bedroom, is in a good place.

What has worked in your relationship to increase intimacy and sex? Please share in the comments section below.

Whether you’ve tried it or not, we’re sure you’re familiar with some difficulties associated with some good old sexy time in the car. We all know about the dangers of the gearshift; bump into it unintentionally and it’s going to hurt. Yes, not all positions work but girl on top is hell sexy.

With a bit of creativity and adjustments car sex can be a lot of fun. Take a look around and rethink the practicality into shag-ability. Car sex is a good way to live out your public sex fantasy and seriously, no one past the age of 25 should be a car sex virgin.

The naughty element of car sex makes it a perennial sexy fave. It’s outdoor and we love the outdoor, it’s thrilling and it’s liberating. The obvious thrill of getting caught combined with a sexual exhibitionism is enticing. Plus, sometimes you just can not wait until you get home. Hey, you can’t predict arousal.

We’re going to go out on a limb and say that a large majority of the readers of this site are fans of both cars and a vast variety of sexual acts. Whatever car you drive, all vehicles have the following accessories that can add to your roadside lovemaking experience. Here are some tips to take your car sex to a new level.

Cowgirl action

True that not all positions work well in confined spaces, with a bit of ingenuity anything is possible plus when the mood hits obstacles are the least of your worries. To make things slightly more comfortable, recline that front seat as far back as it will and get her in a cowgirl position. She can ride you facing the windscreen with her hands on the dash for support. If you must foray in the front seat, make sure you’re in the passenger seat, because steering wheels and sex don’t mix.

Kinky with seat belts

Feeling like a bit of 50 Shades action? Use the seat-belt to restrain your consensual partner either to the seat or hands above the head. How?

He lies on his back across the backseat, and she ties his hands above his head using the seat belt. If that fails, you could use the seat belt to hold your bodies close together.

  image property of  SheKnows

Sunroof

Need a little extra head-space, especially when you are on top? Roll back the sunroof so that your partner has all the room necessary to manoeuvre on top. An open sunroof can also come in handy when switching positions or when you need a little extra grip.

Mirrors

Strategically angle the mirrors both in and outside the car so that you can watch one another in the act while also keeping a looking out for any oncoming strangers.

Stereo

Plug in your favourite sex playlist and create the tone of your sexcapde. Music amps up car sex, plus it makes noise and gives you the freedom to be loud if you like noisy sex.

Back seat

There’s one position that is the best for your car’s back seat – spooninig. However, with a bit of flexibility and a strong desire to get off, doggy style and missionary are just as good.

Hood Car-bonnet

If you’re feeling like a real exhibitionist, then take your sexual escapades to the hood of your vehicle for the most freedom car sex can offer. The hood of the car is a wonderful platform for all kinds of activities. You can go down on her while she rests her legs on your shoulders, or lean her body on the hood and bend her over….just don’t get caught.

Stationwagon

Remember the iconic shag-wagon, where you could get busy under the stars?  In a car like this, not only did you have the space to perform basically whatever sexual position you’d like. You could throw in one of those foam mattresses in the back and a few friends in there while you’re at it.

Now we have station wagons or vans to achieve the best epic car sex. Can you imagine what people will get up to once self-driven cars are the norm?

If you’re feeling like a real exhibitionist, itching to feel young again and inject some excitement into your sex life, planning a secret car sex rendezvous might be the thing. Car sex can be a real turn on, the thrill of getting caught amps your excitement and makes this a real naughty fantasy.

With a little thought and planning car sex can be great, exciting and it might become your new favourite sexual activity. Maybe dogging is the next step?

Be careful, use your common sense and show respect to the rest of the world, but have plenty of fun.

Imagination is a virtue: use it.

All images are the property of Javier Navarrete.

If you’ve enjoyed reading this , please leave a comment below.

Do you have any tips of your own?

Hotwifing

A “hotwife” refers to a woman in a partnered couple who has sexual encounters with other men. At times this encounter might happen in the presence of her partner. Other times in his absence followed with a retelling of the events. The male partner in this relationship is turned on by his partner sexual escapades, and derives pleasure and arousal from her exercising her sexual autonomy.

Cuckolding

A “cuckold” is a man that enjoys the dominance/submission power relationship with his female partner. Often, the cuckold likes to be belittled, humiliated, or otherwise made to feel powerless. To capitalize on this power dynamic, the female partner has sexual encounters with other men. The male partner’s pleasure and satisfaction comes from the power dynamic between himself and his partner.

Thus, “cuckolding” is more about the power exchange (as in other kinds of BDSM relationships) while “hotwifing” in general often lacks this element. A man may derive intense sexual satisfaction from his partner having independent sexual escapades, but be completely uninterested with the idea of being humiliated by his female partner and/or bull. However, another man may only enjoy such escapades if he is also humiliated, forced to “clean up” the woman after her sexual encounter, or otherwise made to feel inferior to the bull.

A “bull” is the term commonly ascribed to the other man in the scenario, the person that the hotwife has the sexual encounter with.

Why has hotwifing become such a popular fantasy among couples? The main reason is to fulfill the desire of almost every man to see his beautiful wife interacting with another man.
Other reasons come to mind, the explosion of Internet facilitated the fantasy, women are more comfortable with their sexual desires and are not afraid to voice it and act on it, and last people have come to understand that fantasies are a healthy way to explore one’s sexuality and beneficial way to bond.

Hotwifing, might just be what you were looking for at this point of your relationship. Read the benefits below:

1. Freedom

Most women secretly desire this, the freedom to enjoy another man’s company and to explore their sexuality guilt free. When a man encourages his woman to enjoy other man’s company, she gets to enjoy and exercise her sexual autonomy and to express freely her sexual desires.

2. A huge turn on.

Hotwifing is a sexual fantasy that can take your relationship to the next level. It’s a way of women expressing themselves and a huge turn on for their partners. Many women are getting into exhibitionism. They love their partner watching them have sex. For the partner who wants to show off his hotwife, it’s a huge turn on to watch another man enjoy his sexy hotwife. Watching your wife/partner with another man is like watching a hot porno, with her as the main star.

3. Free from the shackles of jealousy

Jealousy is the main reason many relationships fail to work. It contributes to disagreements and sometimes breakups. Hotwifing can help the men overcome most feelings of jealousy and insecurities. This kind of relationship can make your partnership more trusting and open. There is a difference between sex and a loving relationship, your partner knows this, and the steamy encounter is only SEX.

4. Increased Trust and Communication

A strong relationship is built on trust and good communication. Healthy relationships are not about the things a couple does together but about how they communicate together, how they treat each other, and how they work together to maintain a mutually beneficial relationship. Hotwifing will not increase these aspects in a relationship if they don’t exist already. They must exist before you embark in this fantasy.

5. Look Better

To continue being the desirable to men, a hotwife will be motivated you to stay fit, eat healthy, look sexy and stay young both mentally and physically.

6. Increase and improve intimacy

Your relationship and especially sex life will absolutely improve. The physical and emotional intimacy associated with hotwifing is intense. The feeling of seeing a wife with another man will just turn any man on making the sex life better and more frequent.

7. Boost confidence and self-esteem

The esteem of both parties involved will increase and this is great for having a healthy relationship. A confident man is also what a woman wants and what better way to show how confident you are than letting your wife get out there with other men.

The benefits of hotwifing are many and there are many adventurous couples that indulge in this fantasy. However, every couple has a different dynamic, and as such, hotwifing might not be your fantasy. As a couple it is best to go with what works best for you.

RedHotPie took some time with author Joan Sauers to ask her a few questions about the book, the answers contained within and state of modern romance and sexuality.

When carrying out research for Sex Lives of Australian Women what responses surprised you the most?

That 57% of women fantasise about sex with other women even though only 12% identified as lesbian or bisexual.

Also, that some women still don’t realise that it’s wrong and illegal for their husbands or partners to force them to have sex.

What inspired you to carry out the research and ultimately write the book?

After writing THE SEX LIVES OF AUSTRALIAN TEENAGERS last year, my girlfriends begged me to post a survey online so they could unleash their deepest, darkest secrets, and also find out what other women get up to. But also, I’ve always been fascinated by human relationships and issues of intimacy, and I can’t imagine anything more interesting!

What did you learn from the research and producing the book?

That the one thing that most characterizes women and their sexuality is diversity. There is no such thing as ‘normal’, and we are much more varied and complicated creatures than most of us imagine.

How do you feel women’s attitudes towards sex and intimacy has changed over the years? Why did these changes occur?

Most women have always loved sex and they crave pleasure and emotional intimacy, but the way they find it has changed. Technology has revolutionized our experience of sex, with one-out-of-five of us starring in our own sex tape, and many of us engaging in chat room sex (even women in their 50s!)

But with the advent of easily accessible porn, both women and men are getting unrealistic and negative expectations of what sex is about, and we have a whole new set of body image issues to make us feel insecure. We used to suffer in comparison to supermodels, but now we worry about not having boobs as big as porn stars, and we assume we will only be attractive with a Brazilian and some anal bleaching. This is one of the sad aspects of our 21st century sexual experience.

Why do you think there has been a shift in sexual relations?

I’m not sure what you mean, but technology and lifestyle have changed the way we live. However, most of us still want a stable relationship with one other person, full of satisfying, regular sex. So I don’t think things have really changed fundamentally.

How do you think women can go about reclaiming their sexual elegance?

By dressing for themselves and not necessarily for men. We should wear what makes us feel beautiful and not just ‘hot’. We should leave something to the imagination and not let our boobs hang out and our arse crack show. We should look at the way women walk, dress and act whom we respect but who are also sexy. We should think about our own pleasure and not just our partner’s. And we should think more about how we FEEL in bed than how we LOOK.

Commentary in the media would have us believe that women are either porn-stars or prudent princesses. Is there always going to be two distinct schools of thought about female sex and sexuality?

The media polarizes these images but in reality, most of us are an intricate blend of different aspects of sexuality. In the media but much more importantly, in our relationships and in the way we see ourselves, we should transcend these clichés of princess and porn star, and create our own individual brand of sexuality that accommodates every part of ourselves.

What are your thoughts about the “revolutionary” television shows like Sex & the City, Lipstick Jungle etc and literature like He’s Just Not That Into You? What do you think they have contributed to the wider dialogue of modern sexual relations?

In particular, I think SEX AND THE CITY was a fantastic depiction of sexuality within the broader realm of society and relationships. And the honesty with which it explored everything from ‘up-the-butt’ to funky spunk was incredibly refreshing. And the four women represented an interesting and provocative variety of female sexual proclivities. It got a lot of us talking about things we never spoke about before, which has to have been a good thing.

Some of the other series have been less well-conceived and shallower. They have less emotional resonance and of course, they haven’t really showed us anything new.

What are your thoughts on the cyber-sexual revolution?

It has its good aspects and its bad aspects. For some, cyber-sex is fun and liberating, and a great way to stay close to loved-ones overseas or make new friends. Others can feel empty after their experiences or used. Like anything, it depends on the individual.

From your years of social research and responses from the forum, what are your thoughts on swinging and online liaisons?

Many respondents have a fantastic time swinging, but for some, jealousy is something that can ruin the experience. Often couples have a certain expectation before they try it and are disappointed when often just one of them feels left out or angry at the attention the other one is getting. We’re only human!

Online liaisons can be great and satisfying or they can be difficult or destructive. In that sense they are no different from ‘real life’ connections. But the anonymity that online liaisons offer can be especially liberating and exciting. As one woman who answered my survey said, in every way it is the ultimate safe sex.

Are we setting a good example for the women of tomorrow? Do you think women in 20-years time will still be discussing and dissecting the same issues as women today?

I think we have taken two steps forward and two steps back. We have progressed in many ways, but too many women still don’t own their sexuality, and they forget about their own pleasure. Even in loving relationships, women can feel like they owe something to their partner even if they don’t feel like giving it. And too many women are still faking orgasms! Hopefully in twenty years we will be more open with each other and will feel more comfortable communicating about what makes each other happy.

To celebrate the release of such an honest and entertaining read, RedHotPie in association with Random House is giving you the chance to win one of 5 copies of Sex Lives of Australian Women

For your chance to win, ]]> 1162