The element of excitement, of novelty and exploration will be a driving force throughout anyone’s life journey; the only difference is where we find it.

With some couples they find it in the playground of the swinger’s world or the lifestyle.

Opening your relationship to this lifestyle will bring along challenges, one such challenge is learning how jealousy fits into this kind of relationship.
If you’re going to be in the lifestyle, you have to figure out how you’re going to deal with this strong emotion out in the open. Once you learn how to deal with it, it will make your connection stronger.

Everyone deals with it differently, but the most important and freeing factor about dealing with this emotion is the evolution it allows you to experience. From jealous, turbulent feelings you progress into compersion.

Below are the 6 steps of this development.

1.  Almost everyone gets jealous in various degrees – It’s really ok!

Jealousy is that heavy feeling that grabs you when you think about your partner getting frisky or sharing a connection with someone else other than you. It’s an emotion not strange to the majority of us. There are some people who claim to not feeling jealousy, but for the majority of us, jealousy is an emotion we are all too familiar with.

Jealousy is good. Jealousy means you care. It’s not about whether you feel jealous, but how you channel that feeling.
Some channel it into anger, some feel resentful, and some lucky ones feel excited.
To keep this emotion in check, you first need to recognise and admit that you feel jealous, so it doesn’t sneak up on you at the worst time.
Ironically, a small part of jealousy sits comfortably with feelings of excitement. It reiterates those feelings you had before you settled down, the sweat-bitter feeling that you might lose your love interest to another. The driving force to keep you on your toes and try your best to prove you are the ‘better choice’. In a nutshell, the conquest game all over again, hence the appeal of the lifestyle.

2.  Darker side of jealousy is often hiding other bigger issues

Take time to assess why you are feeling jealous. The problem with jealousy is that it masks other feelings and attitudes that are even more hurtful to us and those closest to us. Jealousy can be shielding deep-seated feelings of possessiveness, insecurity or shame formed by bad experiences in the past.
Being able to recognise these in yourself can help you work through feelings of jealousy when they do arise. Understanding the roots, triggers and reasons for our feelings of jealousy is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship, monogamous or not.

We can act against the thoughts that tell us to be suspicious, mistrusting and accusatory and in the long run it will strengthen you as an individual and improve your trust and communication with your partner.
3. Do you get turned-on by watching your partner with someone else?

    Apparently, there’s a term for it, it’s called COMPERSION.

Compersion is such a new concept, that it needs explaining…

Compersion means the feeling of being turned-on or excited for your partner when they have a good time with someone else other than you.

Yep, it’s a real thing!

Most people don’t feel compersion automatically, because we are just not conditioned for it, it’s not something we’re socialized to feel. We are taught that jealousy is a natural response of loving someone and possession is an expression of passion.

Compersion is contrary to how we view relationships and expect to operate in them. We are raised to believe that when we are one half of a couple, we should derive all our happiness and pleasure from that single partner and only experience it together with that partner. Compersion challenges this ideology.

Compersion is about acknowledging your partner’s separate needs, desires and sexual experiences. This will strengthen your relationship. Prehaps, a vast majority of you have experienced compersion many times and it’s a great feeling. This amazing feeling could possibly explain why so many couples are into hotwife and cuckold fantasies.

4.   Can anyone attain compersion?

It’s not for everyone, but most people can have that feeling if they communicate properly.

It’s a gradual process, with lots of honest and open communication with your partner.

First identify why you feel jealous. What are its roots and triggers. Once you identified them you can stop them from taking control. Most importantly, keep communicating with each other. Express your feelings and tell them when you are feeling jealous. Expressing your feeling of jealousy early is better than letting them fester. An understanding partner knows that compersion is achieved through time and lots of talk. By giving it a go, you could open your heart to many happy and interesting possibilities.

5.    Expect a fluctuation between Jealousy and compersion

Just because you felt compersion once, it doesn’t mean you have melted away feelings of jealousy forever. It takes time; you need to feel confident in yourself and your relationship. It’s important to remember that this is a journey and not a race.

It’s important to remember this, if you are feeling something that means it’s real, it doesn’t mean you’re allowed to act however you want. Bursts of jealous rage, or any other unacceptable behaviour in front of other people who are not at fault is not acceptable.

6.    Communication invalidates jealousy

Communication is the premise of non-monogamous relationships, in part because if there isn’t transparency in these relationships it will head to collision.
If you start feeling jealous communicate this to your partner so it doesn’t fester into bigger emotions of resentment and anger.
Also in conjunction to expressing yourself in a relationship is listening, actively and openly, without judgement or interruption.

How do you deal with your feelings of jealousy? Please share with us in the comments section below.

This is not the easiest fantasy to have fulfilled – the chase of the elusive ‘unicorn’. It’s not a secret that the willing, single women couples fantasise about are a rarity but not an impossibility altogether. There are single women out there willing to do threesomes but not enough for all the couples wishing to have it happen to them. Or more important, the way they envisage the fantasy to happen. Too focused on their own needs, they forget to consider the third party wishes, desires, boundaries and expectations.

However, why are couples obsessing over a threesome that involves only a single woman? This is often leads to very good opportunities being cast aside. Are we looking at 3way all the wrong way?

For couples and women who are interested in experiencing sex with more than one person, maybe inviting a single man and changing the FFM to MFM threesome is what a lot of couples have been missing out on. Cultural attitudes toward sex, sexual identity and relationships changed, and therefore it is time to broaden the way we look at threesomes.

House of Cards, on Netflix, or the TV series made waves last year when Claire Underwood (Robin Wright) and her husband, Francis (Kevin Spacey), seduced a handsome young Secret Service agent. Propelling the move away from the traditional threesome to be typically as two women and a man. The trend has been set in motion, so let’s jump the bandwagon and enjoy what seems to be the easier ‘unicorn’ to catch.

Here are the top 7 reasons why a MFM threesome might just be the thing for you as a couple exploring your sexuality:

1. A huge advantage with MFM type of threesomes are that women seem to suffer from less insecurities, such as comparing themselves to the other girl, or whether her man likes the new girl better. It allows the woman to learn to focus on her pleasure rather than on her insecurities. Too often women’s pleasures falls to the wayside on the priority list, but in a MFM her pleasure is at the center.
2. Another advantage of MFM threesome is if your lady has a great sexual drive, two men might be more satisfying. She can consider new exciting possibilities that can only be achieved through having sex with two men, such as DP, hotwifing and cuckolding. Sure men can suffer from performance anxiety in front of other males. Realistically, today that barrier is not a big factor, in view of today’s more relaxed attitudes to sex and relationship dynamics. Couples in general are more liberal in their thinking and are not offended or shocked at some MM interaction.
3. Which brings us to this point. There is a lot of curiosity with MM interaction and what better way to fulfill your guy’s bi-side. For many straight people, a threesome is the first place they experience same-sex erotic contact. This can be incredibly exciting and liberating.
4. Most men would find it difficult to please two women at the same time. Unless you are a man with a great drive in which a FFM is ideal for you and also ideal for women in relationships that want to explore their bi-side. Women in general are capable of having several orgasms and each has a different sensation – clitoral, vaginal, multiple orgasms, squirting orgasm and g-spot orgasms, the many reasons why women can handle multiple men at once.
5. The other great thing about a MFM threesome is that it’s waaaay  easier to put together than the other kind. Sure, you can run the risk of the boner proximity issue, but in today’s changed and relaxed sexual attitudes this isn’t an issue anymore.
6. In many ways having threesomes that involve two men and one woman will teach the woman to find her pleasure, focus on her pleasure and also relax about issues of insecurities and jealousy. Experiencing  first hand what it truly means to share an experience with her partner that enriches their relationship. Maybe MFM for many women is a stepping stone to a FFM, as they learn that threesomes are nothing than a sexual explorations and not a threat to a well established relationship.
7. Last, there’s something sexy about a confident, sensual woman who is capable of handling two men at the same time.

These are only a few good reason to try a MFM threesome, but there are probably many more that could be listed. If you have anymore to add let us know in the comments below

Hotwifing

A “hotwife” refers to a woman in a partnered couple who has sexual encounters with other men. At times this encounter might happen in the presence of her partner. Other times in his absence followed with a retelling of the events. The male partner in this relationship is turned on by his partner sexual escapades, and derives pleasure and arousal from her exercising her sexual autonomy.

Cuckolding

A “cuckold” is a man that enjoys the dominance/submission power relationship with his female partner. Often, the cuckold likes to be belittled, humiliated, or otherwise made to feel powerless. To capitalize on this power dynamic, the female partner has sexual encounters with other men. The male partner’s pleasure and satisfaction comes from the power dynamic between himself and his partner.

Thus, “cuckolding” is more about the power exchange (as in other kinds of BDSM relationships) while “hotwifing” in general often lacks this element. A man may derive intense sexual satisfaction from his partner having independent sexual escapades, but be completely uninterested with the idea of being humiliated by his female partner and/or bull. However, another man may only enjoy such escapades if he is also humiliated, forced to “clean up” the woman after her sexual encounter, or otherwise made to feel inferior to the bull.

A “bull” is the term commonly ascribed to the other man in the scenario, the person that the hotwife has the sexual encounter with.

Why has hotwifing become such a popular fantasy among couples? The main reason is to fulfill the desire of almost every man to see his beautiful wife interacting with another man.
Other reasons come to mind, the explosion of Internet facilitated the fantasy, women are more comfortable with their sexual desires and are not afraid to voice it and act on it, and last people have come to understand that fantasies are a healthy way to explore one’s sexuality and beneficial way to bond.

Hotwifing, might just be what you were looking for at this point of your relationship. Read the benefits below:

1. Freedom

Most women secretly desire this, the freedom to enjoy another man’s company and to explore their sexuality guilt free. When a man encourages his woman to enjoy other man’s company, she gets to enjoy and exercise her sexual autonomy and to express freely her sexual desires.

2. A huge turn on.

Hotwifing is a sexual fantasy that can take your relationship to the next level. It’s a way of women expressing themselves and a huge turn on for their partners. Many women are getting into exhibitionism. They love their partner watching them have sex. For the partner who wants to show off his hotwife, it’s a huge turn on to watch another man enjoy his sexy hotwife. Watching your wife/partner with another man is like watching a hot porno, with her as the main star.

3. Free from the shackles of jealousy

Jealousy is the main reason many relationships fail to work. It contributes to disagreements and sometimes breakups. Hotwifing can help the men overcome most feelings of jealousy and insecurities. This kind of relationship can make your partnership more trusting and open. There is a difference between sex and a loving relationship, your partner knows this, and the steamy encounter is only SEX.

4. Increased Trust and Communication

A strong relationship is built on trust and good communication. Healthy relationships are not about the things a couple does together but about how they communicate together, how they treat each other, and how they work together to maintain a mutually beneficial relationship. Hotwifing will not increase these aspects in a relationship if they don’t exist already. They must exist before you embark in this fantasy.

5. Look Better

To continue being the desirable to men, a hotwife will be motivated you to stay fit, eat healthy, look sexy and stay young both mentally and physically.

6. Increase and improve intimacy

Your relationship and especially sex life will absolutely improve. The physical and emotional intimacy associated with hotwifing is intense. The feeling of seeing a wife with another man will just turn any man on making the sex life better and more frequent.

7. Boost confidence and self-esteem

The esteem of both parties involved will increase and this is great for having a healthy relationship. A confident man is also what a woman wants and what better way to show how confident you are than letting your wife get out there with other men.

The benefits of hotwifing are many and there are many adventurous couples that indulge in this fantasy. However, every couple has a different dynamic, and as such, hotwifing might not be your fantasy. As a couple it is best to go with what works best for you.