Hooking up is made easy in the age of technology and often we assume too much and do not ask the right questions. Here are 5 questions to ask before you hook up to make sure you enjoy the experience.

1. Can you host?

The point is you want a little information about whether they live alone or not. It’d be a little awkward on the date to find out that your hook up still lives with their parents. It could mean that they can only meet at your place, which means letting a stranger into your home, which might make you uncomfortable. Without asking this question and no planning; things could turn sour. If they simply avoid hosting you without explaining why; you could be lead to believe that they are hiding something. Which brings us to the next questions.

2. Are you in a relationship?

Whether this is important to you or not, you deserve to know what you are dealing with. Honesty is always important, even in a casual encounter. If one is cheating, this could open doors to all kinds of unwanted drama. You want some uncomplicated fun.  If your match invites you over to their place, look out for little hints that they might have a partner and are lying to you about it. Things like an extra toothbrush in the bathroom.

3. What are you into?

This is important. You need to know if you are sexually compatible. The hook up is about both your pleasure. It’s important to know each other’s kinks and preferences beforehand. If their turn-ons align with yours then it’s worth pursuing. Meet up and if you are both in the same wave-length, then go all out.

4. Health check

Ask when their last STI check was and even if they lie, it’s a great opportunity to let them know you practice safe sex. If that is an issue for them – move on. 

5. Ask to agree on a safe-word

Using a safe-word is usually thought to be in relations to BDSM play, but it’s also essential even in vanilla play. You need an ‘out’ if you need to withdraw consent. The ability to tap out at any time should be something everyone should be able to do and safe-word is an ideal way to do it with. 

You can change your mind at any time you feel uncomfortable. It might be that sex is too rough. Or you are just not feeling it. Whatever the reason, a safe-word will give both parties clarity and transparency. No blurred lines, once the word is used agree to have a break, Have a coffee or a juice maybe a snack. You can agree on another date or just leave it altogether.

These 5 questions are important to ensure hookups are fun and safe, without them, you could be open to some nasty experiences. Let us know if you have any other questions that are important to have a mutually safe and fun hook up.

Featured photo by Djim Loic on Unsplash

Have you ever heard of the term, ‘safe call’? It has its roots in the kink realm and now is used in the dating world.

The idea behind it is to take precautionary steps before you go on a first date or hookup. Because you just don’t really know who you are meeting.

Here are the precautionary steps you take to minimise possible risks and to keep safe. The majority of people are genuine and just want to meet someone they can enjoy themselves with.

Let’s take a look at safe calls, how they work and how you can make them work to help keep you safe when you’re meeting new people.

1. Call your designated ‘safe call’ friend for the night.

The important point to remember here is to call your friend and not text. Why? Hearing your voice and tone will reassure your friend that you are safe. Leaving your friend any notion of suspicion and also allowing them to continue to enjoy their night too, or the very least relax.

2. What to say when you make that ‘safe call’

1 – Include information of your location.

2- Describe the person you are with – age, ethnicity, and if you have exchanged phone numbers include that too.

3- Send your their social media profile links, this is particularly clever because your friend can quickly do a cursory background check.

4 – Take a selfie so your friend has a record of what you are wearing and where you are. You could also ask your date to take a selfie with you too.

3. Why do you need ‘safe call’

Your safety is number one priority. To take measures to stay safe is inevitably a great idea to all involved. It’s unfortunate we need to worry but better safe than sorry. The majority of people are genuine and have no intentions of foul play. Therefore you should always meet somewhere public, meeting someone in public first isn’t just safer, it also gives you a better idea of who they are.

4. Who should be your safe call

A friend or family who cares for your safety and who is responsible. Someone who will check on you and if you were not to respond calls the police. In addition, there are apps out there that have been purposefully designed for hookups safety. bsafe and Emergensee are two examples. The app even has its own security team that will contact police and ensure you get help fast.

5. What should the nominated ‘safe caller’ do, when you do not contact them

This special friend will call the police when you fail to contact them.So set a reminder to call your friend so they stop worrying and unnecessarily call the police.

5. When you feel safe – have fun

Now relax, take the time to do what you both set out to do. Have fun and enjoy each others’ company.

Of course, the vast majority of people out there are actually decent honest folks, but clearly, it is still a good idea to take some basic steps to ensure your safety.

Probably the most important piece of advice anyone can give you is that you should trust your instinct.

Be safe, stay safe and have fun.

What strategies do you use? Share with the rest of us.