Sexting can be a fun, flirty way to keep the passion going.

As a precaution, initially steer away from exchanging photos straight away, unless it’s your long term partner. Stick to naughty messages and if and when you want to send some raunchy pics, use clever angles that don’t give too much away.

Lads, if you need some pointers in improving your sexting game, read 5 tips to become a sexting legend

1. Start off slow and leave room for more

Sexting doesn’t have to be triple-X to be sexy. Sometimes being less explicit can actually be more of a tease. Tempting and teasing your partner is half the fun with actual sex, and the same can be said for virtual. It all depends on you and who you’re sexting, depending on the mood, it might start full on or build up to it.

“I can’t stop thinking about what I’m going to do to you”

“I thought of something I want to do to you tonight.”

“Just got out of the shower…”

“ Busy tonight!. You can’t have me until tomorrow.”

These sexts will get your partner thinking about it as well. If they ask for more details you can follow up with:

“I’d rather show you in person.”

Sexting, like sex, is all about comfort zones. Don’t do anything you aren’t ready for! But if you feel comfortable trying new things, go for it.

2. Use words of encouragement

Not sure where the conversation is heading? Words like “mmm” or “I like that” are effective at expressing interest and it will egg them on to continue. A classic “tell me more” goes a long way, too.

3. Keep it simple

Don’t worry about being polished or proper. If you’re just starting out, sometimes it’s best to just be blunt. Some examples might be:

“I want you to go down on me”

“I’m going to make you beg for it”

“I’m going to make you come so hard”

Blunt is the name of the game girl; you are after all warming the engine up for a later meet up, or a solo session that is going to be STEAMY.

4. Let them finish your sentences

Let him finish your sentence.

“I got out of the shower, dried myself, went to the bedroom, then you came over to me and…. ”

The trick with any sexting is to keep it short, it doesn’t need to be all in one go. Play the game of teasing and flirting and keep him keen.

5. Send some naughty pics

If you haven’t met the person you’re sexting with yet, it’s probably not a great idea to exchange photos with your face in them. You just… never know. Use your imagination and send some that do not divulge who you are.

When sexting, keep this in mind. Sending dirty text messages, just like dirty talk, is all about what feels natural. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Sexting is great because it allows you to be creative, but if you project a completely different personality over text it’s going to be a tad awkward later.

Happy sexting!

Do you use sexting to tease and flirt? What are your best tips to make this a tool to heat things up?

Here we’ll provide some sexting tips on how to become the sexting legend you know you can be. Check the 5 tips to become a sexting legend.

First, build it up, don’t go for the kill straight away.

 #1. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Warm Up To It.

Women, unlike men who are very visual creatures, enjoy a slow build up. They’ll enjoy hearing compliments on the lines of how much you like them. How interesting, exciting, attractive or beautiful they are.

Yes, flattery will work wonders, but ensure it’s genuine compliments; women have an incline to distinguish between genuine flattery and BS.
DO NOT send that DICK pic yet, save it for a bit later, when it’ll work in your favour. It’s all about the right timing.
Use instead subtle messages:

“I get excited when I think of you…” or “ You were the first thought I had this morning.”
Wait and see what she’ll do.

#2 Let Her Take The Lead

Wait for her next move. If she comes back with “I was just thinking about you too” then move on to a bolder response.

It’s all about timing, wait and see what she’ll do next. She might decide to just stay in that ‘space’ where you are all turn-on but haven’t talked about details.

#3 Focus On Her

This takes control because you’re urging to just go full-steam ahead. Tease her some more and compliment her on her assets – beautiful breasts, long sexy legs, lush lips, etc. Women love compliments it turns them on because you are focused on them and how you appreciate their bodies. Build it up till she can’t take it and will be in the same wavelength as you. You are getting close….

Ensure you know what she likes by now. If unsure ask, you’ll score extra brownie points because you are showing her you care what she likes. Sexting is great when you’re into online dating and just want to test the waters before you decide to have sex with someone.

#4 Build A Rapport

Depending on whether her responses are enthusiastic, you could take sexting a notch up and again let the conversation move on naturally.  If she bites, sexting can be a great way to express darker, more hidden impulses and fantasies. Be explicit and playful and try out texting more detailed and explicit scenarios and let both of you minds into fantasising. Be realistic. You also don’t have to talk about everything you have ever fantasized about doing to a woman before you meet. Some things can wait until you are together.

“I was thinking about sucking those gorgeous nipples of yours.”

Sexting, explicit and raunchy thoughts at this stage should feel easy and comfortable.

#5 What About The Dick Pic?

You’ve both thought about it. You’re out shopping and you notice the way that top shows off your partners curves and you get that little flutter downstairs… so why not act on it? Now we’re not telling you to strip and bump one out by the registers at Coles but where there’s a will, there’s a way. Look for some out of the way restrooms, maybe a supply closet. Hell if you have to wander around and find a quiet corner behind a building or in an alleyway, the sexual heights attainable by a little public passion will be totally worth the risk.

Home movies

You know what’s hotter than watching people having sex on the telly? Watching yourself having sex on the telly. As the sex tape becomes more and more mainstream with A-List celebs doing publishing deals for their fornication films every other week, everyday folks are getting in on the fun.

Float the idea with your partner and discuss what might be fun, if there is a little concern about being recorded, set up a shot that won’t show your faces. As you get more comfortable with the idea and the sensation of seeing yourself and your lover in the throws of passion you may well gain in courage and become much more adventurous, opening a door to some very sexy cinema indeed!

Dirty Talk

Want to tip you lover over the edge? Well this is just about a lock when it comes to amping up the amour factor. For a few folks, some sexy gutter talk can be a huge part of foreplay, really heating things up. When you partner dispenses with the social protocol and let’s the animal take over, it says a lot about their attraction to you and what’s sexier than being wanted?

So for many some explicit foreplay is very effective. Other can be a little coy and will need to ease into the dirty verbals. In this situation the best bet is to wait until things are already cooking, when people are really in the physical moment there inhibitions can drop as their pleasure levels rise, this is when you might want to whisper a few naughty words in your partners ear and you take them over the top!

Facials

Well here’s a little sex act that doesn’t come up at the dinner table too often, and to be honest, that’s probably for the best. Under the heading facials, let’s look at any body part that receives the post orgasm ejaculate and there is some real-estate that has a no fly zone in effect much of the time.

After watching Ron Jeremy and the like paint their co-stars faces for years now, a lot of guys think it’s no big thing to aim and fire with reckless abandon; but while some women find it pleasurable to wear their man’s seed, many do not. So always discuss landing areas with your partner, for most the stomach, breasts arse and back etc are acceptable, maybe not all the time but they’re definitely within the rules of engagement. Anything above the neck is a conversation, or at least a sweaty request before the top blows off. Maybe come to a compromise and indulge in some sexy oral action in the shower, that way any deposits can be quickly washed away and the steamy location will make things hotter again!

Bondage

Who hasn’t tried handcuffs or tying your partner’s hands to the bed-head? If you haven’t you’re in the minority, and you’re missing out. The feeling of dominance and submission that can be experienced with a trusted partner can be nothing short of ecstatic and the places you can go after your initial forays into bondage are mind blowing. Just do a few online searches and you’ll find an incredible world of chips, dip, chains and whips – all just waiting for you and your significant other to take them home.

Bondage can really put some nitro into your foreplay, thus supercharging your sex play. The seduction of the ritual can make the skin almost ache, dressing your partner, lovingly restraining them and then pleasuring them in a bound and compromised state can take the intimacy between two people to amazing new places. Chat about the roles each would like to assume, and to add to the comfort levels, have a safety word, so if things get a little too heavy, the buckles and Velcro can be released for a quick breather.

Anal Sex

It’s the holy grail for a lot of guys, many don’t even know why; they just know that they really want it because for the most part they cant have it. As our modern sexuality is being discussed more and more the fact that a healthy percentage of women enjoy anal sex has become common knowledge so at the very least, a discussion on the subject should be a no brainer for couples.

If it is being attempted for the first time it’s a game of patience, start with a little rimming, and some light, lubricated finger play leading to insertion; keep talking with your partner ensuring his or her comfort. Eventually when both parties are ready and adequately lubricated, penetration can be attempted.

Go slow until you’ve got the go ahead for more throttle; initially anal sex takes a little more caution but with the nerve epicentre that resides in the anus, the pleasure that can be derived from this formerly taboo sexual act is well worth the patience.

Pornography

With modern pornography crossing further and further into the mainstream, adult movies are no longer watched exclusively by the trench-coat brigade. Today, adult stars like Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy can be see popping up in ads, reality series and Hollywood movies, thus, sexy films are finding their way into our bedrooms more and more.

So chat to your partner, see if you couldn’t jump start things now and then with a few sexy scenes. Today’s adult film productions are numerous and varied, what ever your tastes, you’ll find something to light your fires – films for couples, films for women, films for Argentinean dwarves… what ever you think will turn you on, it’s all there.

Give it a try… having sex while watching other have sex release the voyeur in us all, setting the scene for some mighty big pleasures.

Strip clubs

Strip joints are becoming a fun night out for couples or perhaps an intriguing book-end to a night spent out on the town. You been out for dinner, done a little dancing, had a few drinks… you’ve probably both got a bit of the Dutch courage on the go and the arousal levels are rising… it might be time for a Strip Club.

If you’ve ever been to a strip club, chances are you’ve seen couples there and the attraction they general get from the dancers. Having a lady on your arm or being said lady will separate you from the masses of lonely guys looking for a cheap grab and generally a good time will be had.

Sit together and watch each other flirt with the dancers, giving away those dollars. If thing are feeling really good, why not go together for a private lap dance, touch and feel each other while the dancers perform and heighten your pleasure. Bang!

Masturbation

Are you really into your partner? Imagine them, get a picture of them in your mind, now if they’re not already naked, get rid of their clothes. They just smile at you, slowly closing their eyes and gently running their hand over their bodies, slowly losing themselves in the thought of sex with you… Pretty hot right! Well why not bring that heat into the bedroom?

To shake things up a little now and then, mutual masturbation is a great break in pace and when both parties are in the right head space it can be an out and out winner.

The great thing about mutual masturbation is that each partner can move along at their own pace and simultaneous orgasm is reasonably easy to achieve, either sit looking at each other or lie next to each other, touching and feeling your partners movements and climaxes. Touching yourself has never been so much fun!

Fantasising

Unless you’re Brad or Angelina, likely hood is, you’re occasionally gonna think about nailing someone that is not your partner. We understand it’s not something you’d ever act on but there’s no point in fantasising a little right? Well while you have nothing to be ashamed of, neither does your partner so why not get things out in the open.

Ask about their fantasy crushes, who do they like and how could you incorporate that into your sex life. Maybe your girl would like to watch Johnny Depp films as you ride each other into sexual nirvana, or maybe your man might like to put that poster of Jessica Alba on the wall every now and then. The secret is not to get jealous, but rather take pleasure in the fact you’re helping your partner indulge in a fantasy, ultimately bringing them closer to you.

Well there is a fair argument to say that men and women have never been further apart and as the ancient art of speak seems to become more and more fractured with each new blogging site, the act of engaging a potential partner in real life grows harder by the day.

So it’s time for some old school communication pointers, the big five for each sex. What women want to hear and just as importantly, what men want to hear…

What women want to hear

Compliments

Easy… you look incredible. Not hard right? No it’s not hard, so be sure to notice when your girl does something with their hair or wears those new shoes she bought. You don’t have to go over the top but you do have to be sincere, or at least sell sincere. Just a casual off the cuff compliment can lift your ladies spirits immeasurably which, of course, can only be good for you.

Be Jealous

Now we’re not suggesting you start glassing randoms who glance fleetingly in your ladies direction, but every now and then flex your muscles a touch. If your partner is chatting with another guy, be sure to ask who he was. Use humour as women will read through it anyway, so you can avoid the heavy vibes and still get the benefit. Your girl will appreciate that you care enough to be protective of her and your relationship.

Enquire

They say women want good listeners but if you’re one of those A+ kinda cats who have to go for gold then here’s the next level. Not only should you listen but follow it up with a few questions… “Really, your boss said that? So what did you do?” You’re most likely going to get the whole story anyway so why not play a part in its telling and connect with your lady; it will make her day and your night.

Long term

You don’t have to hit the mortgage broker circuit just yet but it doesn’t hurt to let your partner know that you have semi-long term intentions for the relationship. Again, it’s not about marriage or kids but simple ideas; things like a concert coming up in a few months you could both attend or a holiday together next year, can give your girl a feeling of security which will lead to a more relaxed and giving partner… and who doesn’t like a giving partner?

The Effect she has on you

This is the cunning second cousin of the compliment, it’s like saying she’s pretty but taking it a couple of steps further by telling her what that does to you. A woman will never feel more desired than when her man says how crazy hot she makes him. A few lines like “I just about explode looking at you” or “I couldn’t get those legs out of my mind all day” will remind her of the sexy power she has and most likely encourage her to wield it generously.

For Men

Compliments

Yes, not many men will admit to it but they are compliment hounds lust like the girls. Telling your man how sexy his hair is or how much you like the new shirt he bought will put a little spring in his step. You can always man it up some saying how much you like the new spoiler kit on the Commodore but the fact that you’re trying is the main thing.

Help me

“Here let me help you with that little lady”… never will a man have his chest sprouted further out than when mumbling those words. Think about it, three million years back men could just club a mountain lion and feel good about their place in the world, however thanks to microwave dinners and mace, the traditional male duties of providing for and protecting have been made somewhat redundant. So every now and then, throw him a jar with a stubborn lid or ask for something from the very high shelf. He’ll moan about it but inside he’ll be rainbows and puppies.

I’m impressed

Sure, men can be unfocussed buffoons who won’t notice a hair change short of a buzz cut, but sometimes it will be worth rising above the inequality to pay some attention to changes in their world. If your man’s been hitting the gym, mention it – “You’re arms look bigger hey”. Or if he has a crack in the kitchen don’t afraid to praise his cheese on toast abilities… don’t do it and you’ll be cutting your own Kraft from now on.

I want you

As we’ve established, men like compliments too and kind words don’t come any hotter than “I want you”. Any guy will heat up when told the female of the species is aroused by his mere existence and he’ll do just about anything to realise the potential of that remark. Don’t be afraid to play it cheeky; so you’re in the hair care aisle at Woolies, tell him that the way he’s fondling that Pantene bottle has your heart racing. Watch how task orientated he’ll be for the next twenty minutes.

Dirty Talk

Ok girls, this is pretty much the holy grail, the old saying goes men want a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room and a whore in the bedroom; well I’ve got some welcome news for you, you only have to sound like a whore… unless you’re that way inclined of course. A few carefully chosen and passionately delivered blue streaks can have a man bouncing of walls igniting all he touches. There is nothing hotter than a nice girl turned bad, even if it’s only for a few minutes, so don’t be afraid to let loose the hellish demons of profanity, the ride you receive will be more than worth it.

Chances are you like talking dirty as much as your partner does but if you’re yet to unleash this side of delicious tongue waggling into an already saucy routine then loosen up that mouth of yours as this is a great way to heat things up under the sheets.

First thing to do is lower your voice – think soft, sultry and sexy pillow talk, not loud hyena like howls – they can be saved for later when the nasty talk and whatever follows takes you over the edge. The idea is to create a mood for sensuality not just randy sex. “I like it when my boyfriend lowers his voice and speaks all breathy like, I call it his bedroom voice – you know kind of like bedroom eyes – I know it means he’s in the mood for a really hot time – no vanilla sex in sight,” says Krystal.

And so what do you say to each other? “Dirty talk doesn’t mean using fowl language or talking like a porn star. It’s about talking about the sexual experience you’re both sharing,” explains a female RedHotPie member. “Start off by just expressing what feels good and why and as you both learn to communicate you’ll find that your inhibitions go and your well on the way to being a smut talker.”

Simply put, just mention what you want him to do to you or what you want to do to her or what you think other people might be doing to each other. Dirty talk is all about saying heated things, sexy heated things, in the moment, so it’s best to let your instincts carry you. If you think your partner is hot then tell it how it is; “You are so hot!” If you feel they make your bits quiver then tell them; “Your touch makes my cock/pussy quiver.” If you’re very hard or wet; just say so; “I’m so hard/wet right now.”

Once you’ve gotten hold of the basics you can intensify the linguistic gymnastics. Add some metaphors and get really imaginative. “I make my dirty talk a bit more creative because the whole; ‘Oh you’re such a naughty boy’ gets a little boring after a while. So I mix it up with things like talking about a fantasy or explaining in really long detail just exactly what I’m going to do with him, so it’s kind of like a teasing strategy. I say things like, ‘I’m going to take my tongue and slowly slide down your body and then I’m going to grab your balls and put them in my mouth sucking them while I put my hand around your huge hard dick…’ things like that. By the time I’m done, he can’t wait to get in me,” says Louise.

Another turn on for many when it comes to the language of lovin’ is cursing which adds a more aggressive punch to your descriptions. “My partner is really softly spoken and can be shy but when we’re having sex they go crazy with swearing and it’s a completely different side to what I normally see. It’s so hot when you hear things like ‘Fucking bang me harder’ and ‘Shit, I’m coming’ when you’re right in the heat of the moment,” says Ben.

Another male RedHotPie member commented on a recent forum post that this tactic works well. “On rare occasions I have met women who, even though there is also respect and love, like to be taken as a sexual object at times. They love whatever comes out of my mouth when I’m not trying to be politically and socially correct. [For example] ‘Get over here bitch!… I’m gonna fuck you so fucking hard…” When things get really nasty, turn up the volume and give your neighbours something to complain about.

So how can you be great at dirty talk? A female RedHotPie member says that being honest has a lot to do with taking pillow talk from the sweet to the sexy. “They were honest [and that made it good],” she says of her experience with someone who was particularly good at dirty talk. “They talked about what felt good and why, which bolstered my self esteem to be more adventurous in the bedroom. And when I returned the favour they would embellish on what I was saying so it became a shared conversation of smut and sex. Having your conversation and mind fully focused on what you are doing and why intensifies the experience of sex itself… Am I turning you on yet?”

How do you make the language of love hot and steamy? Has anyone ever said something to you that was irresistible? And are there any words or phrases that should be avoided?

My then-partner and I were fooling around late one night and I was in the mood for being a bit naughty, so I nibbled on my partners ear and whispered, “talk dirty to me,” in the sexiest voice I could conjure. “Ahhh, okkk,” he nervously croaked. “I’m going to put my, ahem, penis. Is that ok or should I say cock? I’m going to put it in, put it in…oh Jesus what should I call it?” That’s where the conversation and the mood abruptly, should I say, deflated!

I couldn’t stop myself from laughing which made him terribly upset. “I feel stupid!” he whined. “I don’t know how to talk dirty!”  I talked it over with some of my male friends the following weekend and they said exactly the same thing. They would never talk dirty with their girlfriends because they didn’t know whether they were actually supposed to use dirty words and phrases or if it was supposed to be more seductive and sexy.

Talking dirty to your partner can be really sexy and arousing if you know what to say and how to say it. Of course, each person to their own, so you may have to suss out your partners dirty talk style before you start.

Men can find talking dirty a turn-on when they are dating a woman that isn’t explicit about sex in her everyday life. If you’re the type who swears like a sailor during lunch with rellies, it’s probably not going to be a surprise to him particularly if you continue doing it in bed. For all you girls who play it pure and virginal in public, saving your wild inner-temptress for behind closed doors will blow him away and leave him speechless.

However, for all you out there totally clueless as to where to start, here are some good tips that helped me totally knock the pants (literally!) off my partner. • The biggest issue people have with talking dirty to their partner is the embarrassment. What should I say? How do I say it? Is she/he going to think I sound pathetic? Start with sexy texts or emails. It’s often less embarrassing to write something down than it is to say it straight to someone’s face—even better if you’re not around when they read it. Send a short text saying, “How good was sex last night? I loved the way you teased me. I think it’s my turn to return the favour tonight.” My partner loves it when I put sexy little messages in with his lunch for work. “Hey baby! Eat up coz you’re going to need all the energy you have when I get my hands on you!”

• When you’ve built your confidence up, try suggesting it in bed. The easiest way is to increase the intensity of your moans and groans and then describe what’s happening: “It turns me on watching you disappear inside me.” If you can hold eye contact as you’re describing it, you get extra points. Try get him/her to join in by whispering, “Tell me what you’d really like to do to me” in their ear.

• Timing is essential. It can be ultra-naughty to whisper something dirty into your partner’s ear when you’re out in public. However, if you’re like my partner who only needs me to nibble on his ear and whisper “I want you now,” and he’s bursting at the zip, I would leave the dirty talk until you’re between the sheets.

• Don’t worry about sounding cheesy because it’s pretty much impossible! All dirty talk is somewhat cheesy. Say it sexy and say it like you mean it.

• Swear words are optional. Some men find it incredibly erotic if you use them, especially if you don’t usually swear. But you can still talk up a sexual storm without them. Try dropping one or two in when you are talking dirty and see how they like it.

• Don’t be afraid to plagiarize. If you are having phone sex and you have a naughty mag or book handy, don’t be afraid to read out steamy sections that catch you eye. I’m addicted to romance paperbacks and my partner loves it when I put on a sexy voice and read out the sex scenes (which can be very raunchy!).

If you have any more tips to help our RHPer’s master to art of dirty talk, please post your suggestions in the forums.