The reality of the dating world today is different. Instead, we have a series of scary trends sucking all the joy from dating. To mention a few – love bombing, d*ck and dash, roaching, ghosting – essentially all trendy terms describing people being nasty while dating. With all these negative terms floating around, dating is becoming rather daunting.

A new dating term, caspering, coined by International Business Times, is a kinder term, it’s simply ghosting but in a friendly manner.

This is your guide to caspering, the dating term that isn’t nasty.

You must have heard of ghosting when someone you are dating disappears so suddenly. So sudden you wonder if they have dropped dead. No one likes rejection. Being dumbed without explanation is absolutely the worse where even the toughest of egos will get hurt. Although at times is understandable to cut ties with a date that is behaving in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s still polite to just send a short text.

Some examples of texts you could use when caspering could read something like this:

” Hey, sorry, we just not a perfect match. I had a great time on our date. Best of luck with everything in the future” or ‘Hey, just to let you know – you’re an amazing person but I just didn’t feel the spark and think we shouldn’t see each other.  I’m going to stop replying to messages and calls. It certainly isn’t a reflection on whom you are as a person. Best of luck with everything in the future.’

So, instead of just ghosting, choose caspering, in other words, go about ghosting in a kind and compassionate manner. Offering an explanation and warning the other person before ignoring their calls and texts. Don’t lead them on, if you are just not feeling it, tell them so.

Sex Educator, Alix Fox told IBTTimes UK that she wants to see people practice more compassionate dating and hopes new terms will emerge to replace words with negative connotations like ‘ghosting’. She elaborates below:

‘I’d like to see more positive new terms enter the linguistic landscape, to make people more mindful about behaving well towards others and themselves, help them navigate the modern dating process more joyfully, and ultimately enjoy happier experiences,’ said Alix.
‘If you’re going to ghost someone, be friendly about it! ‘If you’ve decided you don’t want to chat to someone any longer, that’s fine, but if they’re simply not your cuppa and haven’t been an ass, try to leave them with a compliment or some constructive feedback so they feel bolstered to keep on looking for love.’

We support this kinder and more compassionate manner of dating. Everybody should have a fair chance at love and romance. Nobody deserves to be treated badly when looking for love and their ideal person. Hoping that new and more positive dating terms surface to make dating a pleasant experience for all.

Cheers to caspering!

The reality is that this dating trend is not new at all, it has been happening since dating started. But is now getting the attention of the Internet. This new dating trend is known by a few different names – hump and dump or hitting and quitting and as you can tell it’s self-explanatory. It’s a trend where the culprit uses someone for sex and then dumps that same person or ghosts them. Either way, it’s not a nice thing to experience on the receiving end. Essentially, your date will shower you with attention and fake affection until the day they get you in bed and move on to ghost you or dump you since their sole objective was to have sex with you.

This does not classify as a one-night stand or casual hookup because when you’re hooking up both parties are in full knowledge that they are in for a no-strings-attached hookup and then move on.

D*ck and dash is something very different. It’s misleading someone into believing that there’s more to the relationship than just a hookup. That there is a chance for a committed relationship. This is not okay t, it’s playing with their emotions and finishing hurting them deeply.

Seriously, in today’s day and age, you don’t need to trick anyone to get to have sex with them. Honesty is the best policy unless you want to be known as the dush-bag in town. Women also enjoy casual sex and enjoyed more when they know where they stand.

How do you know if you are about to be being D*ck and dash? If it all seems to true to be true, things are moving too fast and your partner is confessing his undying love for you, we’d suggest tread with caution.

So, before you become emotionally invested in a relationship before it all messing with your mind and emotions, use your gut feeling to decipher what is going on.