Think of a woman’s pussy like a sideways mouth, with beautiful soft lips and an opening to savour the taste of your partner, and the hood and clit sticking out just like a tongue.

When kissing someone you not only want to make it passionate but you kiss in lots of different ways. Sometimes hard and fast, or maybe soft and gentle, you warm up and pash deeper as you go. Sometimes you use your tongue, savouring the taste of your partner or nibble at their lip enjoying the intimacy with a partner.

When going down on your woman there are the basic principles of making your woman reach orgasmic heights she never thought possible. Remember every woman is different and in fact, each woman changes her sensitivities and preferences on a minute by minute basis. So there should be no routine or complacency here. Your woman will appreciate you concentrating on her and you being aware of her movements and gentle signs guiding you to just the right spot, but boy, if you do you’ll see the rewards and she will see you as the Sex God she has been searching for.

I’m going to go through a few basic do’s and don’ts and then take you through the theory and into a practical scene. So buckle up and enjoy the ride. Here are the 8 Tips to become an expert at licking her out:

Golden rules

1. It’s not about you. It’s about her.
2. Follow her lead, her moans, her pushing into you, pulling away or changing position.
3. Enjoy yourself. There are few things in this world as pleasurable as licking a soft, sweet pussy while a woman writhes around you, grabbing your hair, moaning, yelling out in ecstasy and begging you for more.

1. Take your time getting there

Unless it’s a wonderful quickie, don’t go straight for the goods, make her beg for it.

2. Do your warm up

Take some time to caress her whole body, every once in a while brush by her pussy – with your lips, your fingers your tongue – just enough to let it know you’re on your way.

3. The mouth method

Treat her pussy like a big juicy mouth that you just can’t wait to pash. Turn your mouth, or your whole body, sideways to meet it where it is – and make out with it. Soft kisses at first, all over. Then, bring the tongue in, lightly at first – keeping your lips glued to hers, literally just like you were kissing her real mouth. Let the tongue go deeper, suck the clit, its shaft and hood in and out of your mouth (remember the clit is at the top and missing the spot will ruin the whole thing). Sink your tongue inside her. She’s so soft and warm. Go from light and easy to deep, strong kissing – teasing her, letting her excitement rise and fall, but ultimately building. Please note that many women don’t enjoy or can’t tolerate hardcore sensations for too long. It can be too much and actually cause pain or numbness so make sure you are open to her signals of pull away or gently pushing you in a different direction.

4. Watch, listen and feel

All women are different and we will change want we want from one session to the next so please remember that it’s part of the process as giver to watch, listen and feel what’s going on with her. When you’re doing something right, her body will rise and writhe, she might tremble or shake, she’ll get wetter and wetter, she’ll moan, pant, scream, tell you what to do (“harder, more, do that other thing again”), grab your head and pull it in deeper. Or? You’ve got her laying there fairly motionless or trying to pull away. If that’s happening, you need to read this again (or better yet, talk to her and find out what she wants.)

5. Use your tongue in different ways

Your tongue feels very different depending on how you use it. There are really two options – you can point it, using the hard tip, or you can keep it flat and soft, but hey if you can role your tongue and show any additional talents you may have, then go for it.

6. Check in with her

Ask what she likes, if that’s the spot (many men just go too low). Just a penis enlarges as the blood rush down so does a clit. It becomes engorged and larger, when it does she may be ready for you to get a bit more hard and heavy. The clit isn’t just a little button floating near the pussy. The button is connected to a shaft – much like the penis and goes deep into the woman. It’s incredibly stimulating to have a finger on each side of the shaft rubbing up and down or from side to side or doing little circles – just as you’d like you would a penis.

7. Be patient and use the art of sensuality

How long will it take, well how long is a piece of string. Who knows and trust me it will change each time. If you give a woman the time of her life, she will be thinking about and the next time she might experience such pleasure so it may end up being a quickie as her mind has already gotten her there before you start. The art of sensuality involves teasing, changing your pace, bringing her to the edge and taking the prize away until you really think she deserves it.

8. Add some fingers or a toy

Some women really love and need penetration to achieve orgasm but don’t assume, ask. If this is the case with your woman, add fingers or a dildo to the mix – matching the rhythm of your tongue on her clit to the thrusts of the penetrating tool. This feels like two lots of attention and you may be fulfilling a fantasy of a threesome without the need for another person.

Are you an expert at licking her out? Share your tips on how to pleasure her in the comments section below.

Keeping your gal happy with tongue satisfaction is an art. Mastering the fine art of cunnilingus (snatch licking/carpet munching) will make you a man in great demand regardless of the size of your bulge.

The benefit of being great at oral sex is that you’ll have your gal screaming with pleasure and willing to go all out! A tongue satisfied woman is an enthusiastic lover. Pretty certain, everyone wants this. Words of advice -become a beaver whisper.

When however, you hear these remarks while you’re down on her, you know for certain you suck at oral sex! Time to practice.

• That’s my butthole!
• You really should get that dandruff checked out!
• Have you ever done this before?
• Brown. I think you need to paint this wall brown.
• It’s not a Pie Eating Contest you idiot!

To make sure this doesn’t happen to you, here are some tips:

Practice: Athletes practice their sport. Actors practice their lines. Writers practice their writing. If you want to be good… Practice! Practice! Practice!

If you don’t have a partner around to practice with, you may find it helpful to substitute objects you have around the house:

• Bananas make a fine substitute for the girls.

• For the man, now that we live in a high tech society, you can get some practice with a new app appropriately called Lick This. It has you licking the screen of your phone while teaching you three tongue moves.

Get your oral sex technique honed and you’ll be taking a giant leap to being her ideal lover. Women need to be in the mood before having sex, and what better way than get her wet down under, almost a guaranteed path towards sex.

It’s also well known that some women achieve orgasm far easier with oral sex than with intercourse and for many women, pleasuring her orally is the only way they can experience an orgasm. So don’t be in a hurry and get carried away with zeroing into intercourse.

Ease into oral sex—don’t just attack. Relax and unwind her, get her into the moment, undress her, kiss her, fondle her, go slowly, be a tongue contortionist and bring her to orgasm. If things don’t go as smoothly and gaffes happen along the way –laugh.

Let’s decode the secrets of a beaver whisperer:

Start with a few soft, puppy-dog licks, maybe no more than ten. Then begin moving your tongue up and down and around the rim, heck why not throw in a few rotations, and then focus on the engorged button for the glorious finale.

Imperative to remember is that every woman is different so the most handful advice is listen to her subtle hints and watch her hip movements.

As great as oral sex is, it can be super awkward sometimes, we’ve all had something happen while ‘going down’ that has made us burst out laughing or want to die of embarrassment.

Have you heard or had experiences of oral sex bloopers? Suffocated with face- sitting or got squirted on during orgasm?

What are the funniest, most embarrassing or awkward or mind-blowing oral sex stories? What techniques work best? Go on and share we all have these kind of stories.