A lot of people immediately feel awkward or uncomfortable at the thought of meeting a couple where one partner is more enthusiastic than the other about swinging which is only natural. We’ve all heard stories about couples where one partner is gung-ho while the other has simply come along just to make up numbers. You know. The wife who sits quietly in the corner sipping soft drinks and avoiding eye contact while her husband shags the entire club? Or the hornbag girlfriend who can’t get enough while her man bows out after round one and seems more content tweeting on his iPhone? It just seems so wrong.

Or is it really that wrong? I get that we want to give a wide berth to couples where it’s blatantly obvious that one partner is completely against the idea of swinging but participates just to keep the peace. No one wants to get physical with people who aren’t really giving themselves to you willingly in lustful abandon. Neither does anyone want to be friends with someone who is selfish enough to ignore the well-being of their own partner in the name of getting their rocks off. But what if the couple you meet are terrifically great people who love each other deeply but just simply don’t swing with synchronised enthusiasm?

If you think about how one couple can often have mis-matched sex drives, it should really come as no surprise that differing libidos can affect how that couple plays in the swinging scene. The less highly sexed partner may still enjoy all the benefits of being in the lifestyle but doesn’t need to do much more than kiss and fondle a little to get their jollies. It often doesn’t have anything to with sexual attraction either as many people are turned on by their play partners but just don’t feel the need to play for a long time or in any intense way. That partner’s sex drive may also differ from month to month and due to factors such as stress and even self-esteem (eg – he or she may feel less sexy with winter weight on). Does that mean such couples shouldn’t participate in the scene at all?

As a couple who has an equal lust for swinging, it may come as a shock to end up in bed with another couple only to find that as the night progresses there only appears to be three people playing. For some though, it may end up being an ideal scenario, particularly for couples who enjoy threesomes. However, having uneven numbers is unnerving for others. This may especially be the case for newer couples who may expect swinging to be a completely balanced thing and couples who may have had issues in the past with one partner getting more attention than the other due to the non-participation of one partner from the other couple. No one likes getting left out!

So are we more or less offended by such imbalances because someone misses out on some element of the action while someone else in the mix gets more than their perceived fair share of attention? Even the most experienced and laid-back couples have dealt with the friction caused by this sort of inequality but does this really speak more about how inflexible some other people are in the scene and their own personal insecurities? After all, if we’re meant to enjoy watching our partner enjoy themselves sexually, should it really matter if for one night you’re not getting as much sexy time as your partner? If anything, does playing with a couple who has differing appetites for swinging force you to see how well your own relationship can tolerate an imbalance in sexual attention?

Perhaps the issue is more to do with how often this sort of swinging imbalance occurs in your playtime. Certainly, one night may be excusable but if the same scenario keeps playing out and it’s not to your liking then it’s time to speak up. The couple you otherwise adore may be happy for the guy to pound away while his lady provides the occasional hand pump or nipple tweak but if that doesn’t really suit you then you should address that point to them or find some new friends who like an equal measure of flesh pounding. Even the most non-jealous person would still prefer an even playing field at the end of the day.

If a swinging imbalance happens on the first play date and you’re sure you won’t play with that couple again, you may as well enjoy whatever you can out of it. If you’ve found yourself in a room with straight woman with a voyeuristic husband who clearly wants your partner to ride her to paradise and back, you can either be gracious and let your man have some fun or join in to give him a mind-blowing FMF threesome. If you find yourself twiddling your thumb at some point then there’s certainly nothing wrong with having a word with your partner and ending the night amicably. If the swinging imbalance is just completely unacceptable to you then it’s important to ensure that your partner knows how you feel and make your excuses.

Where you’ve had some great sexual times with a couple who have slowly started to show signs of differing sexual appetite then you need to weigh the pros and cons of remaining play friends with them. If it doesn’t bother you that one partner is less active than the other, then you can carry on with your merry ways. After all, unless you’ve struck up an monogamous swinging relationship with that couple, you’re bound to meet other dynamic duos who can match your enthusiasm, one for one. The important thing is to not take things personally either and wind up believing that someone’s lack of enthusiasm is your fault.

If you happen to be a couple whose individual interest in swinging differs a little or even a lot, the best thing you can do is talk openly about it with each other. If the less interested partner makes a clear indication that they’d rather not swing at all, then that decision has to be honoured. If they are genuinely interested and otherwise happy to be a part of the lifestyle then you both need to be mindful of how that may still affect the way you play with other couples. There’s no point going to an orgy if it’s highly likely that your partner will prefer to just engage in soft swinging. Out of courtesy, it may also be a good idea to ensure that the more enthusiastic partner doesn’t make a total pig of themselves (unless the other people clearly don’t mind).

If seeking couples on RedHotPie, your profile may be the best opportunity to make mention that your partner may be on the shy side or that there are certain things that they prefer not to do. It may limit the type of people who take interest in you to some extent but it will certainly save you problems later.

Hannah Walker was driving behind the police car in Darwin and said she was shocked to see the couple bonking in the back when she pulled up behind them at a red light.

Ms Walker told The Northern Territory News: “I saw the two people kissing and thought ‘geez, in the back of a paddy wagon – they’re keen.”

She said by the time she reached the next set of lights and got stuck behind the police car again the couple were having sex.

“There was a woman laying on the floor and a man on top. I couldn’t believe it when I saw them just going for it.”

Senior Sergeant Daniel Shean said last night police were not aware of any sexual acts being performed in the paddy wagon.

Source: news.com.au

The Secret Admirer

There’s no better time than Valentine’s Day to share your desire for that cutie you’ve had your eye on. After all, the secret admirer is what Valentine’s Day used to be all about. Whether you’re giving or receiving, everyone loves a little mysticism in their life and it’s always flattering to know that someone has a crush on you even if the admirer is uglier than a skinhead Britney Spears (but hopefully a little less psycho).

What to give: Send a card in the post and if you’re too shy to reveal yourself sign it with ‘from your secret admirer’… very fifth grade but in an adorable kind of way.
Why it’s hot: It’s fun, is guaranteed to put a smile on someone’s face and can give you an opening if you want to take things further.
What not to give: Don’t include something weird in the card, such as freshly torn out eye lashes… that’s just creepy.

The Casual Lover

You’re there for each other at the most important times… ok maybe not the most important but when you last contacted him/her, getting a little action was well and truly up there on your list of priorities. If you are going to have a little meet and greet on Valentine’s Day then a gift is definitely in order. But keep it simple and down play on the romance – the last thing you want to do is turn your booty call into more of an emotional roller coaster than a sappy Meg Ryan movie. What to give: A bottle of champagne, don’t blow the budget but try to buy something a little more classier than the $5 variety popular with university students and underage drinkers alike.

Why it’s hot: It’s classy and sexy, not overtly romantic while still sending the right message.
What not to give: Bunch after bunch of long stem red roses with a card saying ‘I have always loved you’.

The ‘Just Started Dating’ Couple
You know you’re into each other but it’s still early days – you may not be ready to declare true love but at least you have a date on the ‘most romantic day of the year’. If you want to take things to the next level then you’re going to have to do something special – but not too crazy that you scare someone away. Adding a personal touch to a gift is a good idea; it shows that you’ve been paying attention over the first few dates and that he hasn’t spent the whole time ogling her breasts or that she hasn’t spent the whole time trying to figure out his bank balance.
What to give: Organise dinner at a restaurant he mentioned he wanted to try or send the flowers she told you were her favourite. Have no idea what he or she likes and dislikes? Well start listening! Chances are he/she has dropped plenty of hints by now.

Why it’s hot: It shows that you care enough about the things that excite them and that you’re willing to put in some effort.
What not to give: Nothing, zilch, nada. If you want to keep this woman or man around then you better step up and acknowledge that Valentine’s Day is super important for some people. If you’re not willing to get into the spirit of things then don’t be surprised if you’re dropped faster than an Australian Idol reject.

The Love is all Around Couple
The sun is shining, the birds are singing, you have spring in your step and your counting down the minutes until you can see each other again… awww isn’t love grand! For you Valentine’s Day is all about romance, romance, and more romance.
What to give: Effort is the key and making the gift extra personal will make it one to remember. Seeing as you know your partner better than I do, I’ll leave it to you to decide but just make sure it’s big and most importantly, thoughtful.

Why it’s hot: It shows that you listen and that you care enough to make a special effort for that person.
What not to give: Anything cheap and easy… this will look especially bad if your other half has really gone out their way and had “I LOVE YOU” written in the sky and all you’ve coughed up is a $10 bunch of flowers you picked up from the service station that have already begun to wilt.

What are you hoping to get for Valentine’s Day? Tell us all about it!

Yes my friends I am talking about the ascendance of the Toyboy within the urban centers around Australia. The Toy Boy has been popularized by celebrities such as Madonna (49) and Guy Ritchie (36), Demi Moore (44) marriage to Ashton Kutcher (26) and even the Cameron Diaz (33) and Justin Timberlake (25) relationship. The “toy boy” has also become fashionable amongst business women pressed for time and more recently, amongst couples. ‘Why?’ You ask. For most couples, the single man offers a convenient alternative to the single girl. It adds many more variables to the bedroom where the only limit is one’s imagination.

One of the greatest advantages of Toy Boys to couples is that they present an uncomplicated and readily available sexual addition to the bedroom. Whilst single girls, from a couples’ point of view, can be illusive at times and require much coaxing, single men will readily jump at any booty call in the wee hours of the morning with little or no encouragement needed at all. The Toy Boy provides the redefinition of no strings fun, removing any issue of jealousy of emotional complications. If you would like a Toy Boy of your own right now, simply log onto RedHotPie right now and pick one up today. No batteries necessary.