Starting with this one thought: Holidays are not a preview of the rest of your life – it just feels like it. Everything at this time of the year is magnified and distorted.

Many couples you see around celebrating, hugging and kissing are actually unhappily paired and just for the night, they slide into this fantasy realm where they pretend everything is all alright.

Sure, it’d be easy to stay home, so at least your heart is in the right place when the clock strikes midnight, but where’s the fun in that?
If you have great friends, they’re not going to let your single butt stay home, no matter what.

Admittingly, being single in a group of couples during NYE is tough, but you can cut your odds of feeling totally out of place by keeping these few things in mind.

1. Don’t announce your single status

Don’t blab the entire night about how you are the single one in the group. Honestly, people are so deep in festivity mode, they will hardly notice unless you tell them yourself. So, SHHHH, soak up the moment, don’t mention it and hey the night might turn out pretty swell.

2. Don’t sulk

Starting the new year sulking is not a good way to start fresh. You’re single, so what. It’s not the end of the world. Plus fingers crossed you might meet another single, who might be your type. Staying home certainly will lessen your chance of meeting anyone at all.

3. Mingle

Just because you’re single don’t be afraid to mingle and chat. If it gets a bit awkward, use that move where you pretend one of your friends is calling you over.

4. Look sexy AF

Baby, rock it. It’s NYE and you can look as fabulous as you want to. There’s nothing better than looking your best, it’s empowering and you’ll feel amazing too.

With that in mind, this year on NEY have a blast.Let any blues about being single dissipate. Right now, it just happens to be where you are. Not forever. Not always. Who knows what the next year will hold.

Jane’s husband Rob brought up the subject of swinging after numerous sexy sessions talking about introducing some extra people into the bedroom. Jane was filled with both trepidation and excitement at the thought, but eventually her curiosity got the better of her. Jane was keen to experience sex with another woman, and the thought of a man other than her husband touching her for the first time in eight years also thrilled her beyond words. She agreed swinging could be fun.

Rob immediately signed up on RedHotPie and suggested going to a swingers party that was advertised in the Events section. Jane had reservations about going to a party as all she could imagine was a Roman orgy scenario with lots of naked bodies lying around. Rob too was a little nervous about the idea and decided that meeting another couple through the RHP listings was probably a better option for first-timers.

“I’m really glad that we decided to meet a couple privately first. Rob was very understanding of my feelings about going to a party where neither of us knew what goes on. We luckily met another couple who were similar to us in that they were fairly new to swinging too.”

Jane and Robert met Angela and Simon on RHP and set up a drinks date. There, the two couples were able to chat openly about what they were both looking for over a few glasses of wine. Soon enough, everyone felt so comfortable and turned on that they got a hotel room.

“Angela was a little more experienced than I was in terms of other women so I let her take the lead. It was a wonderful night. I am so sure that I like women sexually, and it’s not just a phase. We didn’t take things much further than swapping foreplay but we’re happy for all of us to get to know each other better and maybe swap for sex later too. For now, it’s just a lovely experience.”

Jane and Rob are open to visiting a swingers club once their confidence increases, but for the time being prefer the intimacy of setting up dates with select couples. They’ve so far been very fortunate in meeting compatible people to ease them into the lifestyle.

However, for some others, finding the right couple can be a frustrating and time-consuming task. Linda and Pete met at least five couples online but nothing eventuated past the initial coffee meeting, aside from a once-off session with the first couple they met.

“I started wondering if we’d done the wrong thing. We had stated in our profile that we’d like to meet first and play later, but that seemed to attract couples who were happy to socialise and weren’t fussed about playing. On the same token, we aren’t prepared to say a definite ‘yes’ to playing until we’ve met people in the flesh either.”

On a whim, Linda and Pete decided to try a swingers party.
“Linda and I weren’t sure what to expect from the party, and we were slightly taken aback by the number of cars parked outside the venue, but once we got inside and felt more comfortable with the atmosphere, we were fine. Not everyone was naked and ‘at it’ as you might have imagined. In fact, we remained clothed most of the night. Until we met Sarah and Mike.”

“We had a few drinks and chatted about various things before discussing why we were all there at the party. We discussed our experiences and what went right or wrong with them. Before you knew it, we felt really relaxed and got into a spa with Sarah and Mike. That was the start of one very horny night for Linda and I. It all felt right. There was something exciting about the suddenness of the situation I guess. Now we wish we had just gone to a party first instead of muddling around organising dates.”

Whether it was the fact that Linda and Pete had finally met a compatible couple, or the fact that the party lent a spontaneous and sexy atmosphere to the night, they experienced the best night of group sex at a swingers party.

As Linda and Pete discovered, swingers parties and clubs seem to have an unwelcome image of being sleazy but that is far from the truth. Most modern venues provide a relaxed environment for couples and select singles and may be the perfect way for a new couple to scope out the scene and meet some new friends. There is no pressure for patrons to have sex but those who wish to can certainly have a wild night.

Clearly, it’s up to each couple to determine whether the party or club scene is for them, or if private meets give the much needed touch of intimacy for sex to happen. Ultimately, new couples should certainly consider trying both before deciding which way to swing. While many couples eventually end up sticking to either venues or one-on-one meets, others keep their swinging options fully open.

So the pros and cons in a nutshell? Private Meets

Discretion – It’s easier to keep things discrete if you are meeting couples (or singles) privately, and you’re less likely to run into someone you know since you can filter your contacts on RHP before meeting.
Intimacy – For couples who prefer the sensuality of playing with a limited number of people in the privacy of their own home, private meets may satisfy that need.
Convenience – You can choose the time and place to have fun.
Handpicking – Couples who have specific likes/dislikes in other people or play can use RHP to handpick compatible people.

Parties

Social Atmosphere – The more the guests, the more the interaction. Even if play isn’t involved, you may have a great social night out without getting stuck with a date that isn’t going anywhere.
Pick and Choose – You do not have to restrict yourself to just one couple or partners of a couple. For couples who find that the attraction isn’t reciprocated all ways with another couple, parties and clubs allow you some freedom to branch off with a person you are mutually attracted to.
Spontaneity – Some people enjoy the heady atmosphere of parties and are more likely to get their kit off at a party or club.

When finally the night came where I was rid of housemate, younger sister and other distracting factors, I poured myself a glass of wine and plonked myself down in front of my trusty home PC. I wasn’t sure why I felt nervous, but I figured a bit of Dutch courage wouldn’t go astray when meeting strangers, online or off.

I logged onto RHP and clicked my way through to the chat rooms. I wondered if I should test the waters first and try the social chat room but figured I should take the plunge and leap into the adult web cam room. With one click, I became one of about 120 people in the room, all busily saying hello and sending smiley faces all over the place. Like a solo party guest with no one to talk to, I stood alone in the middle of the virtual room waiting for someone to say hi. Soon enough though, I started to get a few welcoming greetings.

“Hey beachnymph! How are u 2nite?” asked one of the guys.
“Where in Syd are u?” asked a girl whose profile I had often drooled over.
“Nice photos beachnymph!” said another chatter enthusiastically.

I was rather chuffed to have been included into the group so easily and wished it was more like that in the real world. I quickly typed out my replies and feeling more confident, started saying hello to people as they logged on. The conversations were light-hearted and a little naughty.

After a while, I started to notice that the ‘chatters’ were limited to a relatively small number of people in the overall list of people in the room. I had also noted that a lot of people had their webcams turned on. Given some of the comments thrown around in the chat room of a lewd nature, it didn’t take long for me to work out that a good majority of people were using their fingers for activities other than typing. It was time for me to see what was keeping people so engrossed.

I clicked on one web-camming girl and found a lovely looking brunette in her 20s sitting at her desk. To my disappointment, she was dressed but given the warm encouragement she was getting to be otherwise, I made a mental note to check her out again later in the evening. I clicked on a different girl and saw far more than I expected. A trim, attractive blonde in her 30s was revelling in the attention and giving her adoring audience a great show. She had some amazing sex toys in her treasure trove that I hadn’t seen before, even in my not-so sheltered life. I could have very easily stayed watching this lady but after watching her orgasm for the third time, I was ready to move on.

Having viewed a few other girls living it up for the camera (including the cute brunette who eventually got down to her underwear), I chose to see what some cheeky couples were up to on webcam. One couple was engaged in some very strenuous activity, much to the joy of the chat room. Another couple was showing how adept the Missus was at giving head. Since her man wasn’t exactly small, I felt the compulsion to applause at the end of her efforts, for which she was rewarded with his sticky ‘appreciation’.

I then decided to see what the guys were doing on cam although one could easily imagine what given the brilliant shows put on by the RHP girls and couples so far. I figured that some of the guys who were earlier on cam may well have ‘retired’ for the night but there were certainly some hotties still giving it their all on cam. One young buff boy was happily chatting and showing off his taut pecs and abs to the delight of the girls (and quite possibly some guys!). Another guy whose username suggested a member of sizeable proportion was certainly putting money where his mouth is. Drawing a number of wow’s and is-that-for-real’s, it seems we’ve found our own Dirk Diggler on RHP.

A little too awestruck, I chose to click onto another guy who lived in Brisbane and had not too explicit photos in his profile. Although he was a face-less stranger, I was excited to watch someone who seemed less concerned about being gawked at than others. He was just doing what he’d probably normally do alone in his room, regardless of the webcam being on or not. I felt a bit like a voyeur taking a peek at the bedroom window and I have to admit that I liked the sensation of doing something naughty.

I was sneakily watching for a few minutes when suddenly a small window popped up on my screen. I’d been sprung! Mr Brisbane had obviously noticed me watching him and used a private message to let me know that he knew. I sheepishly read his message:

“Would u like a private show?”

With that, I became one of the many silent chatters in the room, completely oblivious to the idle chit chat happening in the main room.

So what will I report back to my girlfriend about what goes on in the RHP chat room? What doesn’t go on?? My only problem is that I don’t have a web cam of my own. Thank goodness Harvey Norman is just around the corner!

See you in RHP chat!!!