What is even more surprising is that even though the tribe has embraced Islam they have firmly held onto some of the customs that would not be acceptable to the wider Muslim world.

It is the men, and not the women, who cover their faces, for example.

Photographer Henrietta Butler, who has been fascinated by the Tuareg since she first followed them through the desert in 2001, once asked why this was. The explanation was simple.

‘The women are beautiful. We would like to see their faces.’

But this is certainly not the only place the Tuareg, related to the Berbers of North Africa, differ from the Muslim world of the Middle East, and even other parts of their own continent.
Before a woman marries, she is free to take as many lovers as she wants.

‘They turn a blind eye,’ explained Butler. ‘The young girls have the same great freedoms as the boys.’
For years, the men of the Tuareg have been able to ride to a young woman’s tent, and sneak into the side entrance – while his well-trained camel stands quietly and waits.

There, they will spend the night together – while the family, who all live in the tent, politely pretend not to notice.

Should the woman choose to welcome a different man into her tent the next day, so be it.

However, there is also a code of practice which none would dare break. Privacy is all important for this centuries old tribe of nomads, who once crossed the desert bringing dates, salt and saffron south, and slaves and gold north.

The idea of breaking the rules of courtship would be mortifying; as a result, the man is always gone before sunrise.

‘The Tuareg are utterly discreet. Everything is done with utmost discretion and respect,’ said Butler.

The relaxed customs around sexual partners has resulted in the girls getting married later than they may otherwise do, with the age of 20 not being uncommon.

Although, before then, they will have been wooed with poetry written by the men, who spend hours carefully crafting the words which they hope will win their beloved over.

But it is not a one-way street: the women are just as capable of putting pen to paper, using their own alphabet, taught to them by their mothers.

‘The women also make poetry eulogising the men,’ says Butler. ‘There is high romance and idolatry.’

Unlike in so many other cultures, women lose none of their power once they marry either.
Any visitor who goes to a camp would be vastly underestimating the power of the women in the tent if they believe their sole duty is to make the food and look after children.

In fact, she owns the home and the animals. And the animals are an invaluable resource to the Tuareg in the middle of the Sahara.

Many marriages end in divorce among the Tuareg. And when it happens, it is the wife who keeps both the animals and the tent. And it is she who normally decides that she’s had enough.

It is unlikely there will be any quibbling over who gets what. Pre-nuptial agreements are the norm.

In practice, this often means a man is forced to return home to his mother, possibly with just his camel and nothing else.

His wife, meanwhile, will keep possession of everything she brought to the marriage and that includes the children.

The mother’s camp, Butler explains, is the root of the community, the home everyone returns to – and this arrangement ensures it stays that way.

And there is no shame in divorce. Families will often throw their daughters a divorce party, to let other men know they are available once more.

But this is not a matriarchal society, where the women are in charge.

Butler explains it is still the men ‘who sit and talk politics’. But even here, the women can be deferred to. They are often consulted for their views by their sons or husbands, and are quietly pulling the strings behind the scenes.

However, Tuareg society is matri-lineal, which means the families trace their lines through the women, rather than the men, right the way back to their first queen.

So, Butler explained: ‘Traditionally, the man would belong to the woman’s group, rather than the other way around.’

The preference for the women’s line goes as far as man leaving his possessions to his sister’s son as it ‘is considered a stronger link to your family than to your own son’.

In other words, it can be guaranteed that your sister’s child belongs to your sister, rather than a man’s son, who cannot be absolutely guaranteed to share his genes.

But there is one tradition which is certainly far more unusual: it is highly rude for a man to eat in front of a woman who he cannot have sexual relations with, or any of his elders.

In front of his mother-in-law it is especially shameful.

‘I didn’t realise this until the I was having dinner with a Tuareg woman, who had brought her son-in-law as her travelling companion,’ Butler recalled.

‘We were all sitting down to dinner, and the man has his back turned. She said the poor man was completely horrified because he has to eat with his mother-in-law.’

But it is unlikely he would have ever complained about it, or felt sorry from himself. The very idea is horrendous to the Tuareg.

‘You would shame yourself. The Tuareg will go to great lengths to maintain personal dignity. They will suffer,’ said Butler.

‘If they are not offered water, they won’t ask for it – even if they are thirsty.’

Perhaps for this reason, the Tuareg welcome is legendary. They never forget to offer water, and travellers who appear on the horizon will always be ‘treated like a king’.

Yet could all of this be under threat?

There is hope this proud tribe, which has survived for more than 1,000 years, will hold fast to the traditions which make them so very different from all others.

Source: Dailymail

It’s a huge stressor for a lot of people, especially when they desire to try something new and fear social scrutiny.

Fret not!

Some of the allegedly “taboo” sex acts society judges and frowns on, really are good for your relationship and mental health according to science.

The three most judged, misunderstood and frowned on sexual acts are; BDSM, one-night stand/casual sex and open-relationships and polyamory.

1. BDSM

The practice of BDSM has always carried with it a certain amount of social stigma, but ever since 50 Shades Of Grey it has found more acceptance in the mainstream and a lot of more folks are talking about BDSM.

Contrary to popular belief, kinky sex is good for you says science.

A study documented in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, found that people, who enjoy bondage, the snap of the whip, ropes or the clink of chains, and other kinks may actually be more psychologically healthy than those who don’t.

In this study, 902 BDSM aficionados, and 434 non-kinky people were surveyed on their personalities, overall well-being, attachment style, and sensitivity to rejection. Curiously, practitioners of BDSM scored significantly higher on these mental health tests then their ‘vanilla’ counterparts.

The results revealed that on a basic level, BDSM practitioners are no more troubled than the general population.

In fact they were more conscientious, more open to new experiences, more outgoing, more aware of their sexual desires, and they didn’t feel the need to hide anything from their partners. Bottling up emotions of any kind, including sexual ones, takes a huge toll on mental health, so it only makes

sense that kinky people would have better mental health than those who are potentially sexually frustrated.

Obviously, BDSM is not for everyone, however, it is nice that science is bringing down the stigma that has been associated with BDSM for so long.

2. Casual Sex

Casual sex has always been around but it has become more popular with the advent of apps and sites that allow for easy hookups. Until now casual sex has been viewed in a negative light, some going so far as to say that casual sex destroys the fabric of society and is morally corrupting, with some talk on casual sex damaging self esteem.

A new study published in Archives of Sexual Behaviour resulted in some new findings. This study looked at 371 college students for 9 months and was conducted by researchers at NYU and Cornell University. Those students who admitted to sleeping around reported better general well-being, lower stress levels, and higher self-esteem compared to those who follow the relationship-sex-only rule. Who would have known that being promiscuous could make you happy and be so good for you?

Now, one thing to keep in mind is that casual sex only makes you a happy if you do it for the right reasons. If you’re having sex with any random that crosses your way because you want to rebound after a horrible breakup, or to numb your lack of self-worth, you’re going to end up feeling worse about yourself, so don’t do it. If you’re sleeping around because you’re always horny and are out to just have fun, then go for it.

Below is an interesting video exploring the debate on ‘Is casual sex unhealthy?’

3. Open relationships and polyamory.

Most people frown on polyamory and open relationships mostly because they don’t understand them but little do they know that these couples in these types of relationships are happier and more fulfilled.

One of the secret to a happy relationship is good communication, which is where a lot of traditional couples fall short. To enjoy an open relationship or polyamory you need to express, communicate and hear each others needs, desires, fears and boundaries to successfully live a fulfilling non-traditional relationship.

There you go. Life is only fully lived when you have done things that fall away from the ‘norm’. It’s good for your health.

original post on Maxim

Do you agree with science on this? Let us know below.

A recent study conducted by researchers from NYU and Cornell dispels the popular notion that casual hookups — defined as sexual activity outside the context of a romantic relationship — will leave you with low self-esteem and depression. The research, published in the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science, involved a group of NYU students who kept a weekly diary over the course of 12 weeks documenting any and all adult snuggles — and the effect those instances had on their overall well-being.

Sociosexually unrestricted students reported higher well-being after having casual sex compared to not having sex, the researchers found. Also, those who were sociosexually unrestricted reported lower stress and greater overall emotional health after casual sex. (This is … maybe not super surprising.)

Although past reports have shown that women are less likely than men to orgasm during casual sex, this particular study showed few overall differences between genders.

The study’s authors explained that “the effects of casual sex depend on the extent to which this behavior is congruent with one’s general personality tendencies.” So, in other words: if you want to have casual sex, you definitely should. If you do not want to have casual sex, you shouldn’t. The main takeaway of this study? You do you.

Source: time.com

So, how do you feel about casual sex, is it a positive in your life? Should Australian’s be even more liberal about spreading the sexy vibes? Share your road map to peace, love and harmony below.