Breakups suck. They are both emotionally and psychologically demanding. It’s the reason why many people endure a bad relationship even though they know splitting up is the right call. All the signs are there that the relationship is over but we delude ourselves a little longer just because breaking up is the worse.

When you do break up, what is the best self-care routine? We came up with 5 ways to get rid of your breakup blues and navigate the post-breakup blues.

1. Cut all contact

Even if you are planning to be friends with your ex, it’s a great idea, at least in the beginning, to keep your distance. It will give you the space to re-order your thoughts and organise your fresh start.

Explain to them that you are going to block them from your social media for a while. Do not call them or text them during this vulnerable time. Once you have your new start sorted then if all parties are happy you can work on your new friendship.

If you ever feel tempted to call your ex;  have a list of friends you can call instead. Oh yeah, delete your ex’s number from your phone. Write it somewhere and the very action to look for your ex’s phone gives you enough time to think and stop yourself from calling.

2. Let your emotions out

When you split up, is perfectly normal to be sad, disappointed and heartbroken. It is important to grieve a breakup; allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come with it, it’s part of the healing process.

Have a ‘cleansing party’ with your friends. Call them over and watch some sad movie, pour out your heart to your friends and then enlist their help with getting rid of things that belong to your ex. This certainly will help you with your post-breakup blues. These little deflecting acts are key to pushing past the break-up blues.

3. Focus on you

After a relationship breakup is natural to feel lost. Rediscover yourself and start doing what you couldn’t while you were in the relationship. Take up painting, standup paddle or hiking. Focus on your passions without compromising. Do the things you always wanted to try. Create new experiences that make you feel alive and happy.

4. Take your time before getting into another relationship

When you get out of a relationship, it feels like getting into a new one will soothe the pain away. It rarely works. Give yourself time to reflect on the lessons learned and allow yourself to heal from your breakup. Think about the kind of partner you want to seek out next. What priorities and boundaries are important to you in your new relationships. 

5. Put yourself first

Breakups are hard. Do not feel guilty about being selfish and taking time for yourself. Use this time to do things that bring you joy and in time the breakup blues will dissipate and you will be ready to take on the world again. 

Featured photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

There’s nothing harder than breaking up with someone. Waiting for the right moment and weighing in your words can be exhausting and somehow never right. Days and even weeks might go by without you finding the courage or the right time or words to break up. The sweet thing about doing it over text is that its instant and has almost no consequences.

Breaking up over text is not always the ideal way to go about it. So, here are four scenarios when it’s okay to send a breakup text:

1. You’ve only been on a couple of dates

When you’re breaking up from a long relationship, face-to-face dialogue is helpful to both of you. From the conversation you can get insights that are helpful to both to move on. You can get some insight that might help with your future relationships.

When you’re only seen each other 2 or 3 times, you don’t know each other that well. All you know is whether you are attracted to this person or not. So, having a whole conversation as to why there isn’t an attraction seems futile. Breaking up over a text, in this situation, is both convenient and appropriate.

You can use a ‘white lie’ and say that ‘you’re not ready to date yet.’ Or ‘you are moving away somewhere far’

Both of you are not emotionally invested in your relationship so a text is totally okay.

2. Do them a favour and have them hate you

Breaking up from a long relationship is one of the hardest blow and emotionally taxing. To make things easier, according to a study last May, is the way to go:

“because remaining love feelings for an ex-partner are negatively associated with recovery from a romantic break-up, it may be helpful to decrease those love feelings.” The study found that “negative reappraisal” was a far more effective strategy for getting over a breakup than “positive reappraisal of love feelings” when it lends itself to reminiscing about the happy times or “distraction” going into rebounding with new partners on dating apps. If you don’t want to stay friends with your ex, you might actually be doing them a favour by being a complete douchebag.

3. If you’re considering ghosting…

Breaking off a relationship in a text message isn’t great, but it’s a hell of a lot better than ghosting.

While it’s the cowards way to break up over text especially, when we’re talking about a long relationship, ghosting is absolutely unforgivable. Just don’t ghost send a break up text.

4. Prepping you partner with a break up text

When you are thinking of breaking up with your long term partner, it’s not a bad idea to prep them up via text. When you’re going to meet up with someone to break up, you don’t want them to arrive with no idea what’s about to happen. You want them to arrive feeling composed. It’s cruel to surprise your partner with bad news without any warning.

H/T: Men’s Health