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	<title>Benching &#8211; Dating Insider</title>
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	<title>Benching &#8211; Dating Insider</title>
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	<item>
		<title>Benching is a mind game that is so frustrating</title>
		<link>https://datinginsider.com.au/benching-is-a-mind-game-that-is-so-frustrating/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Christina Miller]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Jun 2020 06:45:04 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Benching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating term]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://datinginsider.com.au/?p=8577</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Benching is a mind game that is so frustrating This is one of the worse and agonising things that can happen at the end of any relationship. When someone leaves...]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2 class="p1"><b>Benching is a mind game that is so frustrating</b></h2>
<p class="p1">This is one of the worse and agonising things that can happen at the end of any relationship. When someone leaves without saying bye or explaining why it’s all over. Leaving the other person asking questions like; “What went wrong?” Or “What did I do?” Benching is a mind game that is so frustrating.</p>
<h3><strong>What is benching?</strong></h3>
<p class="p1">Has it happened to you, you ask? <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Benching happens when someone repeatedly leaves you on a bench to wait around hoping they might choose you again. Much like in sports games, a player sits on the bench hoping they are good enough this time to play the game.</p>
<h3><strong>Benching is worse than ghosting</strong></h3>
<p class="p1">Why is it worse than ghosting? You are left in limbo, wondering if you are still on. Someone is benching you when they might want you, but they aren’t sure if they find someone better. Or they are afraid of love, or emotional commitment, so they leave you in a position where they can get back to you and be with you when they have none else around. It’s sort of like being on and off again and again. This is why benching is way worse than <a href="https://datinginsider.com.au/getting-over-being-ghosted-quickly/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">ghosting</a>.</p>
<h3><strong>It&#8217;s a terrible dating trend</strong></h3>
<p class="p1">This is a terrible<a href="https://datinginsider.com.au/10-dating-trends-you-need-to-know-for-2020/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"> dating trend</a> because you are left wondering, pondering and second-guessing when and if they will return. Seriously, if this sounds like your relationship, put a stop to it. They are not emotionally mature and available. They think they can come in and out of a relationship without explanation and if confronted will put you back on the bench because they don&#8217;t want to deal with blame, pain and shame. Every time they leave nothing is clear and everything has been left unspoken.</p>
<p class="p1">Move on, because you are worth a person who respects you and your feelings.  You deserve someone who wants you. Find someone who wants a meaningful connection with you and doesn’t make you feel second best. You deserve better, be good to yourself.</p>
<h6>Featured photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@enioku?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Dmitry Schemelev</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/sad-woman?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></h6>
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		<title>A guide to 2019&#8217;s weirdest dating trends</title>
		<link>https://datinginsider.com.au/a-guide-to-2019s-weirdest-dating-trends/</link>
					<comments>https://datinginsider.com.au/a-guide-to-2019s-weirdest-dating-trends/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Christina Miller]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Aug 2019 08:20:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2019]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Benching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bread-crumbing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cloaking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cookie Jarring]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[date]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating terms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flexing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ghostiong]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[papper clipping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pocketing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[you-turning]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://datinginsider.com.au/?p=8522</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[A guide to 2019&#8217;s weirdest dating trends You probably heard of &#8216;Ghosting&#8217;, right? When a person you know falls off the face of the earth without any explanation. Odds are...]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2>A guide to 2019&#8217;s weirdest dating trends</h2>
<p>You probably heard of &#8216;Ghosting&#8217;, right? When a person you know falls off the face of the earth without any explanation. Odds are that if you are still dating, you have probably been ghosted and it is totally awful.</p>
<p>Since we are way into 2019, here is a list of the <a href="https://datinginsider.com.au/roaching-latest-modern-dating-term/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">new dating trends</a> you need to know. Let&#8217;s <a href="https://datinginsider.com.au/complete-dating-slang-help-modern-day-romance/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">list of dating terms</a> in no particular order, but one thing is for sure they all suck.</p>
<h3>Trickle Ghosting</h3>
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<p>Trickle Ghosting got its name on a Reddit thread and describes the situation when you think everything is going great. Slowly but surely, you watch the person in question slowly and gently retreat. They&#8217;re progressively less and less available. They don&#8217;t text you back for days working slowly their way towards ghosting you. This is also known as the <em><strong>Slow Fade</strong>.</em> It&#8217;s less aggressive than the other awful dating trends, it still hurts. This gif describes this behaviour well.</p>
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<figure class="l-inline tml-image m-detail--tml-image--inline"><a><picture class="is-loaded"><source srcset="https://www.maxim.com/.image/c_limit%2Ccs_srgb%2Cq_auto:good%2Cvc_auto%2Cw_268/MTY1ODY5ODMyNTQ4Mzk0Mzc4/200.mp4 268w" type="video/mp4" sizes="(min-width: 268px) 268px, calc(100vw - 40px)" /><source srcset="https://www.maxim.com/.image/c_limit%2Ccs_srgb%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_268/MTY1ODY5ODMyNTQ4Mzk0Mzc4/200.webp 268w" type="image/webp" sizes="(min-width: 268px) 268px, calc(100vw - 40px)" /><source srcset="https://www.maxim.com/.image/c_limit%2Ccs_srgb%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_268/MTY1ODY5ODMyNTQ4Mzk0Mzc4/200.gif 268w" sizes="(min-width: 268px) 268px, calc(100vw - 40px)" /><img data-recalc-dims="1" fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="m-detail--tml-image m-image" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.maxim.com/.image/t_share/MTY1ODY5ODMyNTQ4Mzk0Mzc4/200.gif?resize=389%2C290&#038;ssl=1" srcset="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" alt="200" width="389" height="290" data-src="https://www.maxim.com/.image/c_limit%2Ccs_srgb%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_700/MTY1ODY5ODMyNTQ4Mzk0Mzc4/200.gif" /></picture></a><figcaption>
<h6 class="tml-image--attribution">(20th Century Fox Television)</h6>
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<h3>FLEXING</h3>
<p>Showing off and bragging about &#8220;coolness&#8221; and wealth is called Flexing, and as you already know, it&#8217;s never a good look. Steer away from these types.</p>
<h3>POCKETING</h3>
<p>This is when your partner doesn&#8217;t want you around their family and other important people in their life. Which means they don&#8217;t see a future with you. They are obviously wasting your time. Unless you, too, are just in it for the thrill. Literally another term for stashing. When your love interest appears to be in no hurry to seriously commit.</p>
<h3>CLOAKING</h3>
<p><a href="https://datinginsider.com.au/cloaking-new-dating-trend-you-need-to-avoid/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Cloaking</a> is when your date stands you up, and then proceeds to block you on all communication platforms with no explanation whatsoever. You’ve been blocked.  What sleazy move.</p>
<h3>COOKIE JARRING</h3>
<p>When you discover your love interest has been dating someone else the whole time and you were the backup option.  If you notice that your date surfaces once in a while &#8211; you&#8217;re the cookie they keep around for when they want something a little different.</p>
<h3>YOU-TURNING</h3>
<p>Everyone has had a moment in a relationship or while simply seeing someone new when something unpleasant happens or you realize there&#8217;s a massive red flag, and you get the hell out of there real fast. That&#8217;s a You-Turn, just like the car maneuver. This is probably not a bad dating skill to have, really.</p>
<h3>PAPER-CLIPPING</h3>
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<p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B0EJiV9jmUT/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Who remembers clippy? ? well he’s here to make sure you don’t forget him ?</a></p>
<p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" href="https://www.instagram.com/violetclair/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> Samantha Rothenberg</a> (@violetclair) on <time style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;" datetime="2019-07-18T16:29:02+00:00">Jul 18, 2019 at 9:29am PDT</time></p>
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<p><script async src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><br />
Remember the annoying Microsoft assistant &#8220;Clippy&#8221; that would pop up out of nowhere around your screen?</p>
<p>Brooklyn-based illustrator linked Clippy, the &#8216;not so helpful&#8217; virtual assistant who would randomly pop up in older versions of Microsoft Office, to people who just won&#8217;t disappear after a breakup, with an animated paper clip saying things like &#8220;The truth is, I&#8217;m damaged, flaky and not particularly interested in you,&#8221; and &#8220;But I don&#8217;t want you to forget I exist.&#8221; That&#8217;s how the act of disappearing and then reappearing out of nowhere months later got its name.</p>
<h3>GHOSTING</h3>
<p>Oh, yeah ghosting. This cowardly move involves having the person you’ve been dating suddenly stop talking to you with no explanation whatsoever. No text, no call, nothing. Much like a magician&#8217;s disappearing act, <em>poof</em>. They’re gone. Assuming Ghosters disappear for the sole purpose of avoiding the &#8220;This isn&#8217;t working out&#8221; talk. This is pretty low, everyone needs closure and communicating that you don&#8217;t think this is a relationship for you is hard but a necessary part of dating.</p>
<h3>HAUNTING</h3>
<p>This is a creepy one. Haunting is when someone from your romantic past lingers in your digital present by occasionally watching your Instagram or Snapchat story, or sporadically liking your posts. They act like a ghost that keeps coming back to haunt you. So creepy and absolutely stupid.</p>
<h3>BENCHING</h3>
<p>This is when your romantic interest leads you on for a while but doesn’t really do much to take the relationship anywhere. However, they lead you on. They keep you on the bench until or unless you’re needed in desperate times. Almost like you&#8217;re second best and case something goes wrong with their main interest then you&#8217;re in.</p>
<h3>BREAD-CRUMBING</h3>
<p>Breadcrumbing is when someone shows you <em>just</em> enough interest to string you along by making you feel like they might be interested, and that&#8217;s it. A flirty text every now and then or a cute Snapchat, but it never leads anywhere. It&#8217;s pretty deceiving and dishonest to string someone on when they fully know nothing will come out of it.</p>
<h3>STASHING</h3>
<p>Have you ever dated someone where you saw them regularly, texted all the time, and had a great time together, but never met their friends or were otherwise never a visible part of their life?</p>
<p>That&#8217;s called <a href="https://datinginsider.com.au/stashing-another-disturbing-dating-trend/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Stashing</a>. It&#8217;s when the person doesn&#8217;t introduce you to friends or family, doesn&#8217;t post pictures of you on social media. They keep you separate from their life in order to date other people as well? Or worse keep you and their spouse from finding out about one another. Not good, very deceitful.</p>
<h3>ZOMBIE-ING</h3>
<p>Basically, your love interest comes back from the dead to haunt you. They might blame something happening in their personal life or work to explain their absence.  They suddenly rise from the dead and texts you with a “Hey, how have you been??” like nothing&#8217;s wrong. We suggest deleting the texts and ignoring their calls immediately because someone who ghosted you once will probably do it again.</p>
<h6>H/T <a href="https://www.maxim.com/maxim-man/worst-dating-trends-glossary-2018-9?fbclid=IwAR0jZ5cq3Ccjna2ry5-VQnWL0gi7niadUIwLkcCLa6DZ4bQwIWDUpMOWS2g" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Maxim</a></h6>
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