A sense of belonging is the feeling of being connected and accepted within your community. To be among people who share the same likes, interests, quirks and kinks.

RHP is home to a lot of diverse communities: Alternative, Bisexuals, same- sex gender, Transgender, Swingers, Singles, Lifestylers, Kinksters and BDSM. It’s a nice feeling to just know that there are people on RHP, an abundance of people, who are in the same wavelength as you and see the world through the same lenses. You can meet people you feel connected to but also who accept you for who you are.

In the midst of celebrating and understanding acceptance we quickly realise that although we are looking for different things, turned on by different scenarios and quirks, we are quite similar once we get to know each other. Whether we like to wear leather, or into foot fetish, bondage and discipline or lusting after that sexy couple you’ve been fantasising about the past month.
On RHP you make new friends everyday who have a varied and colourful repertoire and yet are closer to you than anyone you’ve met in your ordinary life.

The usual veil of pretense tumbles down with friends on RHP and you don’t have to hide, curb or inhibit those desires, inclinations or interests. On RHP, you will find people whom you can share these interests with, even join a few groups and attend regular niche themed events catering for any interest.

So along with celebrating our Nation’s Harmony Day let’s take the opportunity to celebrate our Harmony Day here on RHP and our ability to accept, respect and understand everyone’s differences. RHP is a place where one can forge new friends who are inclusive and diverse without pretext.

Have you felt that you are more comfortable with friends you met on RHP?
Tell us some of the experiences or interests you have discovered or explored on RHP where you couldn’t share elsewhere?

Aren’t you the guy who fixed our computer?

One of the key reasons people still seem hesitant to post their face shots on sites like RedHotPie, or even sign up on one at all, is the fear of being recognised by people they know. Now, I do get the need for discretion but I always find it amusing that people worry about being spotted by those who are pretty much on the RHP for largely the same reasons. I think this has a lot to do with most people preferring to keep their horizontal life separate to their vertical one. Indeed, it does keep things uncomplicated. I suspect also that some couples actually enjoy appearing benign and boring in their ‘normal’ world and reserve their wild, sexy persona as a naughty little secret.
For others, having their sexuality speculated on by people who have otherwise only known them as their co-worker, local councillor or barista is plain horrifying. Alternatively, there’s also the concern that revealing such a personal and vulnerable side of yourself shoots down any sort of professional or social face you’ve put up to that person. Rather sad to think that you’re potentially viewed as being less of an upstanding citizen or responsible employee just because you enjoy having an extra person or two in the bedroom every now and then. I’d like to think that we’ve moved beyond that sort of mindframe but I certainly wouldn’t knock a couple for wanting to safeguard their lives, especially if they believe their livelihood or family’s well being may be negatively affected by narrow-mindedness.
To be fair, nothing should matter more to you than maintaining ‘normality’, especially where work and family are concerned but it makes sense to simply apply common sense to swinging. Consider how likely it is to meet people on RHP that you know in the real world. Is that likelihood affected by you living in the city or the country? How bad (really) would it be if someone did discover that you dabble in group sex? Weigh up all the risk factors before resorting to clandestine meetings and using false names.

Can you be discreet but still have fun?

Ironically, as much as this article is about discretion, there happens to be a lot of couples playing the game and therefore competition aplenty. You may think that with so many couples online on RHP, your chances of meeting people would be high but you’d be sadly mistaken. Couples are very much driven by visuals first, with written content and other details sealing the deal for a play match. So how can you stand out from the crowd if you don’t want to put up photos and rely on one or two cautious sentences to sell yourself?
If discretion is of paramount importance to you then you have to accept that you probably can’t be passive players. By this I mean that your profile is unlikely to get hit on purely because it exists. It’s going to be up to you to strike up the first conversation. This most often will mean paying some level of membership in order to initiate contact with people, unless you’re content to be an online wallflower. If you have the power to approach people, you can describe yourself in better detail via messages and give people access to private galleries. If things don’t lead anywhere, then turn off that access and no harm done. If someone bites, you can determine the next level of personal information to provide and take things from there.

How discreet is too discreet?

Fortunately, online dating sites afford people a good amount of anonymity and you can ultimately control the amount of information you provide others. In short, there would have to be a complete freak occurrence for someone to randomly pick you out of thousands of profiles and work out exactly who you are. More often than not, it’s error in judgment on the user’s side that gives their game away. For example, if you live in a country town with a population of two thousand people, it may be wise to list yourself as residing elsewhere, especially if the majority of your playtime is spent out of your home town anyway.
As I touched on previously, I wouldn’t criticise a couple for going to certain lengths to maintain discretion but if it starts to affect your mental health (ie – you’re constantly looking over your shoulders) or if your efforts start to work against you in that no one wants to meet you for being too cagey, then you may need to review your strategy. It’s all very well to be discreet but is there a fine line between protecting your identity and failing to provide enough of yourself to attract others and to maintain a meaningful friendship if that is what you seek.
Other than a small number of couples who purely seek NSA (no strings attached) play-only arrangements, you’ll find that most couples will want to engage in a more social, friendly relationship over time. This means discussing work, lifestyle, family and other things that give people an insight into your personality. Unless you are a high profile couple (celebrity, politician or church leader etc.), most people won’t understand your need for Grade A secrecy and may even mistake it for pretentiousness. As such, you should gauge your need for discretion based on the friendships you make; bit by bit. If you’re going to constantly worry about whether your new friends’ cousin’s chiropractor knows the president of your child’s P&C, then you should stick to NSA swinging. If your new friends also still only know you by your false names a year on, you could also be taking things a bit too far.

What happens when your ‘normal’ & swinging worlds collide?

This will happen from time to time. You’ve left the ladies to sort the details of a drinks date (not unusual given it’s the best way to determine that a couple is bona fide). You rock up at the local pub and it’s only then you work out that the guy from the other couple is in fact the policeman who gave evidence against you at your hearing for urinating in public. Stranger things have happened. What do you do? You act like civil adults and either agree to enjoy a chat over drinks (whether you consider playing later in spite of the circumstances is up to you all) or decide to call it a night there and then on the understanding that there is an unwritten law of discretion in swinging. It may be tempting to tell your mates that Constable Mean is on an adult dating website but then you’d need to explain to them why *you* know (and don’t say you just came upon the information; they’ll work it out for themselves). You don’t do anything silly because the other party can be just as stupid and before you know it, you’ll be known on RHP as the guy who cut a slash in public and what couple is up for meeting classy folk like that? It’s a win-win situation to remain quiet. That’s just how it is.
On a less dramatic scale, should you come across the parents of your child’s classmate or the lady who owns the local beauty salon, don’t freak out. It may be embarrassing and uncomfortable initially but it’s no less so for the other party. Just be adults about it and move on as if it’s cool. You’re not doing anything illegal and if the other party are online RHP as well (or at a swingers party etc.) then their definition of what’s normal or weird isn’t going to differ too much from yours. You’re not obliged to play with people you bump into in Swingerland so in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that bad is it? I think it’s much worse to be caught urinating in public personally.

While some think that fetishes are sexual obsessions the truth is that these days a fetish is anything that heightens your sexual experience – even more than usual. It could be getting gagged and bound or having your naughty little romp video taped, it could be dressing up in leather or having sex with a complete stranger… even your love of women in heels could be painted with the ultra sexy fetish brush.

Hot guys and girls all over the country are pulling on their finest fetish gear to get cheeky and sweaty with other sexy couples and single ladies. The Saints and Sinners ball in Victoria is Australia’s largest and most institutionalised fetish event and has been running for 18 years. They attract thousands of fetish lovers from all over the world to experience the sensational delights of the night. Each year, party goers are amazed at the awe inspiring multi level auditorium filled with thousands of sexy people dressed in erotic outfits. The B&D area is always busy with resident masters and mistresses pleasuring like never before. “Saints and Sinners continues to break new ground with another year of record attendance and horny action in the dark (and not so dark).”

Known to have the best real life fetish displays and pushing the boundaries to the most extreme, Connections is a Perth icon that holds theme events with BDSM on the menu. This gay and lesbian club is renowned for incorporating mainstream fetish crowds at their wild and lusty parties. This year saw a huge success with Hellbent and Connections are following it up with Bound and Gagged “another night of freaky fetish fun, dark desires, and perverted pleasures.”

Of course BDSM is not the only saucy delight that Australian’s enjoy. Sydney party organisers Pure Domination hold high class themed fetish or fantasy parties where everything from ropes to glitter are a go. Not always BDSM orientated, their focus on the art of seduction and eroticism heightens the senses for a truly memorable experience held in a hip and sophisticated venue in the heart of trendy Darlinghurst. This month their fetish and fantasy theme remains but with an extra twist of a Show Girl theme to really heat things up.

With so many fetishes for you to try we thought we’d give you a taste of just a few.

Trampling Fetish

If you’ve ever had someone walk on you during sex then you’ve been trampled on and if you haven’t tried it then give it a go – it’s exhilarating for those who get off on domination. The woman wears high heels while she walks over the man’s chest, throat, stomach, and crotch. Funny thing is that the man will barley move even when the woman is standing on his crotch with spiked heels. The men love the idea of being under a woman’s heel and the woman loves being on top. It’s a win-win situation where everyone gets off!

Latex and Leather Fetish

Seeing a hot body adorned in tight leather or latex could quite possibly be one of the sexiest sights to see and lucky for those who love this theme as it has an enormous underground culture. There are retail stores where you not only purchase anything and everything latex and leather related, you can also find out about latex parties where you will be surrounded by people dressed in leather and latex all night long.

Uniform Fetish

Who doesn’t go crazy for a man in uniform or a woman dressed in a cheerleaders outfit? This is a very popular fetish for men and women alike and it really brings the fantasy and fetish world together for a truly naughty night. This fetish is fairly broad and can be taken to any degree you feel comfortable with. A female doctor who seduces her patient or a medieval knight who knows how to use his sword – the options are only limited by your cheeky imagination.

Balloon Fetish

This one is a little unusual and so we just had to include it! This fetish involves being turned on by balloons; the smell, the noise, the excitement of not knowing when they are going to pop. People who enjoy this fetish are known as ‘looners’ and just hearing a hottie huffing and puffing on a balloon is enough to drive them over the edge.

Got a fetish that takes you to new pleasurable heights? Ever been with someone who introduced you to a fantasy you had never imagined before? Tell us all about it!