Nobody in dating history has ever said: “Dating is easy.”

The truth is, dating is probably one of the hardest and complicated things you have to navigate in life. The good thing is that you are not alone.

If you are going through some bad stuff now, it’s very likely that someone else has gone through the exact same. Thanks to social media, someone has already shared a similar experience with the world, along with some lessons learned and free advice on how to go about it.

It might be well worth checking these 6 of the best dating feeds on Instagram. For some dating advice and positive vibes to make you feel good about your dating life.

@createthelove

“Human connection specialist” and relationship expert Marl Groves uses his @createthelove Instagram feed to give encouragement on how to love yourself and others.

@notengaged

At @notengaged, Mary McCarthy reminds followers that it’s OK to be single. She shows single people that they can still live an awesome, adventurous life without being attached to someone else. There are many photos of her hand without a ring in various places around the world and her local area, driving in the point that singles can have just as much as anyone else.

@datingnotes

This is a flirty, fun and a source of inspiration for romantics at heart. At @datingotes is all about good feels.  

@al_abt_love

Wherever you are in your love life, @al_abt_love is a feed that inspires. There’s no expert advice just tons of quotes that touch on every aspect of dating and relationships to help you feel less alone with your thoughts. It’s great to know that there are others who feel the same as you.

@therealsinglelife

Real-life is not sugar-coated like it’s often presented in social media, it’s a lot scarier. The truth in RL is different from the pics you see in your social media feeds, which is why @therealsinglelife has hilarious memes and sassy quotes that are rooted in reality to the get the truth out.  Followers post their “true” stories and funny memes about being single for others to enjoy. This is truly funny and an eye-opener.  

@yoursingleshow

Humour can make a lot of things better. That’s what Laura Lane and Angela Spera are out to achieve in their Instagram feed @yoursingleshow. They offer advice that is comical and insightful too.

Dating is hard sometimes, but it can be fun also. It can be a roller coaster of highs and lows, and that’s precisely why it’s so interesting. These Instagram-feeds can help learn to enjoy the ride because there are so many people going through the same motions as you.

Main image: Pixabay

Some of us enjoy first dates more than others but the flutter felt when our potential love interest enters the bar, or when we hear the sound of that unfamiliar car pulling up, is universal.

Here are some simple tips that you can apply to your first day to make it rock for both of you!

1. MAKE AN EFFORT (A BLOW-DRY DOESN’T COUNT)

It’s one thing to glam up for a date. But it’s another thing to sprinkle a bit of rouge on your perspective, too. Instead of thinking, “ugh — another first date!” you can think, “I get to meet someone new tonight who is making an effort to get to know me.” Attitude is everything. If you align the effort you go to in order to look great with a sincere effort to feel great, you’re already a step ahead.

2. DROP EXPECTATIONS

It’s astounding how many women let really decent men go for superficial reasons such as, “he hasn’t been to Europe” or “he says ‘but’ at the end of his sentences.” It’s important to choose your deal-breakers wisely. My husband visited Europe for the first time with me and it was magical — I loved showing him the parts that I knew. A good friend of mine playfully teases her boyfriend about incorrect use of the word “but”.

The most important thing about your date is his character. Is he kind, honest, loyal? Zone in on those qualities — the kind that are important in a friend. Don’t let a laundry list of expectations ruin what could be very promising potential. I tell my clients they are allowed three non-negotiables. Yes, only three. For example, “tall, sporty, funny,” or “affectionate, ambitious, loves family.” Consider your three and be open to everything else.
“But he tried to shovel raw salmon in my mouth” is not a superficial reason. This is just weird.

3. ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

There is nothing sexier than someone who can “bring the party” wherever they go. Positivity begets positivity. A happy disposition is tres hot! How much more attractive is the friend or colleague who can laugh with you when you break a wine glass or spill your soup? This applies to dates, too! No matter what, never, ever, ever complain or criticise. Is the bartender really slow or the food average? Just be patient and then only eat a little. Nitpicking is not alluring on any level. Be easy to be with.

4. CONSIDER THE VENUE

If you have a say in the venue, suggest a place that’s lively but where you know you can definitely get a seat (and where the service is decent). There’s nothing worse than both of your eyes darting around for the first 20 minutes of the date, hoping for a table to open up. The background buzz adds ambience and you can relax knowing you’ll have a drink in your hand and an appetiser on the table.

5. KEEP IT LIGHT

On one of my first dates the young man launched into a story about his very manipulative ex-girlfriend just 30 minutes in. This topic (and tone!) left zero opportunity for a romantic connection. Hey, I’ve suffered too — I have been divorced. It’s not fun. But a first date IS meant to be fun! Leave the deeper stuff for later. Just allow the first date to be about chemistry and compatibility. Focus on any topics that you might have in common (skiing, career, a love of Thailand). Avoid anything divisive or polarising (politics, religion, feminism). It’s only the first date!

6. ASK QUESTIONS

Sometimes we just want to impress and so over-talk. Sometimes we feel shy and speak little to avoid saying the wrong thing. Everyone has a story/lesson to share and people instinctively like to talk about themselves. So ask questions. This is the single best tip for an easy, fun date. Questions like, “what’s your favourite thing to do at the weekend?” or “where is your number one place to go to on holiday?” are great, light questions.

Also — even if someone does not work out for you romantically, who is to say that a friendship is out of the picture? You can learn something and like something from everyone you meet, especially if you adhere to Rule #2.

7. SHOUT A LITTLE SOMETHIN’

Chivalry is very much alive and I believe that men like to pay for a first date (unless it’s totally clear there is no connection in which case going Dutch is fine). As a woman I still like to pick up the tab for something — a cocktail, a cab, a coffee. It shows generosity and consideration.

If your date doesn’t have much disposable income you can suggest an inexpensive date — going for a latte and a walk or a takeaway lunch in the park.

8. ALLOW A LITTLE MYSTERY

Don’t launch into a chronology of your life. In this respect, a first date is definitely NOT a job interview. It’s boring for someone meeting you for the first time. Just share snippets of some of the most interesting parts of your life. There will be plenty of time to get into details later.

Also, be sure that you end the date. You can say something like, “This has been awesome, Josh! Thanks for a lovely evening. I have a really busy day tomorrow so I should probably let you go.” It’s good to leave him wanting more of you.
And it goes without saying: Don’t get pregnant.

9. MANNERS, MADAM!

Be very appreciative. Be overt in thanking your date for planning the date/treating you to dinner/whatever it is that he has taken care of.

10. WATCH YOUR WINE

Sometimes our nerves can get the better of us and we drink too much during a first date. Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker in Los Angeles says stick to a two-drink maximum. I support this rule and have screwed up in the past when I have drank too much. You want to be poised, in control (and remember the entire date)!

Source: news.com.au

What makes a great first date for you?? Let us know below!

Ancient times:

One of the earliest-known sex manuals harks from Ancient China around 300 BC. It says if you have sex with a different virgin every night without ejaculating, you’ll become immortal. Gross.

Massaging someone’s ego has always worked, no matter what the century. A 2 BC papyrus sex manual by Greek courtesan Philaenis advises: “Pick the woman’s worst feature and then make it appear desirable. Tell an older woman that she looks young. Tell an ugly woman that she looks “fascinating”.” She was really onto something, right?

You may recall the ancient poet Ovid from your high school history class, but did you know he was banished for dispensing sex advice through poetry? “If you are short, go on top/If you’re conspicuously tall, kneel with your head turned slightly sideways” – said old Ovid in one of his poems. Random. The emperor of Rome at the time clearly didn’t approve because he made poor Ovid leave forever.

Middle Ages:

In the Middle Ages, only the missionary position was allowed. Any other moves were considered unnatural and therefore sinful. Doesn’t sound like much fun to us.

A 12th-century Indian scripture advises against marrying redheads or women with big toes that are too small. Poor redheads have always copped a raw deal it seems!

Published in the 13th or 14th century, the Medieval manual De Secretis Mulierum (The Secrets of Women) claimed women drained men of their power through sex and some hid sharp shards of iron inside themselves to injure innocent men. Yikes, how paranoid is that?!

The Renaissance:

Need a love potion? In 15th century Venice, a lower-class girl created a mixture of her own menstrual blood, a rooster heart, wine and flour to make a young aristocratic man crazy for her. It worked a little too well: she got the guys but then was busted and put to death. We’ll stick to sending come-hither looks and leave the love brewing to others – those Renaissance chicks were more desperate for love than Carrie Bradshaw.

In the Renaissance, the power of the printing press meant sex advice could be printed out faster than it could be banned by the Church. Yiew! Unfortunately, their ideas were totally cray cray: one “helpful” tip by Mrs Isabella Cortese, an alchemist and writer, in 1561 recommended mixing quail testicles, large-winged ants, musk and amber for straightening bent penises. Luckily, if that doesn’t work, we now have surgery.

What is it with blondes? “All women are lascivious but auburn blondes the most,” writes Giovanni Sinibaldi in Rare Verities: the Cabinet of Venus Unlock’d (1658). In other words, he thinks they can’t wait for a roll in the hay. It seems blondes’ reputation for fun has been around for some time.

The Enlightenment:

In a letter to a friend, one of America’s Founding Fathers Benjamin Franklin advised that he should choose an older mistress because they are sneakier than young ‘uns but nicer than hookers, can’t get pregnant, and their looks have been ravaged by age so they need to try harder. Nice.

“Never fool around sexually with a vacuum cleaner.”
Victorian times:

In the medical text The Functions and Disorders of the Reproductive Organs (1858) by William Acton, it is said that “the majority of women (happily for them) are not very much troubled with sexual feelings of any kind.” Could they be any more wrong?

Corsets make women horny, apparently: “Constricting the waist by corsets prevents the return of blood to the heart, overloads sexual organs and causes unnatural excitement of the sexual system. The majority of women follow the goddess fashion and so also wear their hair in a heavy knot. This great pressure on their small brains produces great heat and chronic inflammation of their sexual organs. It is almost impossible that such women should lead other than a life of sexual excess.” Dr John Cowan, The Science of a New Life (1888).

According to Confidential Talks With Husband and Wife (1900) a book of advice for marriage, sex four times a month is more than enough. In fact, anything else would be “excess”. We definitely beg to differ.

The Edwardian era:

We may be a young country but we have the dubious honour of having our own historical sex nut. Australian William Chidley printed a pamphlet in 1911, which promoted togas because heavy clothes caused erections. Seriously. He also supported the method of flaccid intercourse, which he based on horses’ sex lives. We’re not sure why he thinks horses did it right, but he was arrested because his toga was considered indecent and decreed insane. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

Modern times:

According to Edward Podolsky in the book Sex Technique for Husband and Wife (1947): “The clitoris, while important, is not nearly as important as many of us have been taught or led to believe.” Can you believe we could still get it so wrong even 60 years ago?

“Never fool around sexually with a vacuum cleaner” recommends Dr Alex Comfort in The Joy of Sex (1972). We hope he isn’t speaking from experience.

Source: cosmopolitan.com.au

To selfie or not to selfie? That is the question…. What the heck is a selfie? That’s another question. A selfie is a shot taken by you of yourself. Those sexy RedHotPie-worthy shots aren’t usually the kind you’d want to ask someone else to take for you – “Excuse me boss, would you mind taking a photo of me in just a g-string straddling the photocopier? Okay, great, thanks!” In these instances, knowing how to take a good selfie is a handy skill to have. To help keep your RedHotPie profile looking seriously sexy, take these tips onboard: