With 50 Shades returning to the cinemas, you must admit that kink has entered your mind a couple of times.

Time to get your kink on, why not explore your freak side? And put your kinky bucket list ’50 shades’ style into play.

Whether it’s a soft or more full on fantasy where you use bondage ropes, a blindfold or whips – we’ve got something for every, ahem, taste level.

There’s another world of edgy fun to be had outside the vanilla plain.

Here are the top 10 activities to help you get your kink on.

1.  Ravishment/ forced sex

A lot of women fantasise about this forceful kind of sex. Why? Women, like men, are at times too shy to express their fantasies and desires. When a man tells her what to do, the woman is able to give herself permission to do the naughty and risqué fantasies she feels a little embarrassed about to admit she wants, but deep down really wants to try it.
Does the Fifty Shades Of Grey frenzy make more sense to you now?

2. Fetishes & Kinks

If you like high heels, leather, latex, silk, girdles, fur, or spandex – the list is endless – now is the chance to play with it. Put on your sexiest heels and have sex just in them. If your partner gets excited when he sees you wearing latex, rubber, vinyl or other shiny and tight materials indulge them.

3.   Sex with strangers

There is something sexy, kinky and mysterious about sex with a stranger. Pretend you don’t know each other and meet at the bar. Or really meet a stranger to have that one filled night of passion.

4. Threesome

Threesomes are by far the most common sexual fantasy for both men and women. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to watch your partner have sex with someone else, or wanted them to watch you get with someone else. Maybe you want to experience having two partners at the same time, or to have a sexual experience with whatever gender you usually don’t hook up with. For tips on how to have a successful three way read –  5 tips for a successful threesome.

5.  Try new sex toys

Try the hottest sex toy in the world – womanizer she’ll be pleased. If you want to try out some pegging then get a good strap-on and let the games begin. Want to know more about Pegging: What The Heck Is It?
Toys are a great way to heat things up and you can have hours of fun.

6.  Domination/Submissive role-play

Power is a rush. Many women dream about having a man obey their every wish, so why not unleash your inner dominatrix and try it out in the bedroom? Call all the shots or make commands with whips, handcuffs and blindfolds. Blindfolding is a simple way to incorporate sensory deprivation into your play, and it adds a fun power dynamic:

Many women also fantasize about being submissive and losing control to their partner.

7. Role Play

From doctor/patient to French maid, role-playing is the perfect way to step out of your norms and turn your night into hours of eroticism. Bring imagination into your sexual encounters as an adult by engaging in some role-play.
Love a man in uniform? Play boss and secretary. No matter what you choose, role-play is a fun way to start experimenting with being in a different head space. It’s a great stepping-stone as you get into the Dom/ Sub roles.

8. Erotic spanking

Go ahead! Smack that ass! Feel the sweet sting of your partner’s hand.
One great trick is to be light and sensual with some caressing in between slaps.

The main reason people enjoy spanking is that it taps on two major aspects – sensation play and the sub play. At times your body isn’t going to respond to the ‘traditional’ stimuli for sex and a great way to initiate sex is to trick and surprise your brain – remember your brain is your major sex organ. The arousal is almost instant.

9. Orgy/Group sex

Certainly not everyone’s fantasy, but if you enjoy threesomes and are curious about bringing more partners into the bedroom, this might be one thrilling and liberating one to explore.

10. Worship

Love a particular area of your partner’s body? Then spend some extra time lavishing attention on it.  Kiss and suck those toes, if that gets your juices going. If you love breasts, spend an hour massaging them with oil. Indulge in some great bouncy boob gifs. If you love her butt give it the attention it deserves. Have a look at our butt gifs Sexy Ass Tuesday.
Your partner will love it, because you are giving them the biggest compliment by loving their body, even if it’s one particle part of your body.

Want to throw routine right out of the window, then adding some kink into your sex life might just be the thing. We all benefit in learning new ways to enjoy sex. You never know if you like it until you try it.

Related: 10 Fetishes You Didn’t Know You Had

Four years ago, Bayne, 40, was suffering post-natal depression, had lost interest in sex and was regularly arguing with her husband.

Though medical treatment helped, she saw her husband’s lament about the loss of sex and intimacy in their relationship as just another demand.

“I had a couple of friends who had read Fifty Shades of Grey and were going, ‘I love it, I love it, I love it’. And I thought, ‘I’m not getting on that bandwagon’. And then I went, ‘You know what? I’m curious, I’m going to read it.’”

“It took me back to the first few weeks where you can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you’re just so excited that you’ve met someone and you are connecting with them. It’s like, ‘Wow, what’s going on here?’” Bayne says.

“I recognised that in the book. The guy (Christian Grey) is so madly in love with her (Anastasia Steele) that he can’t function. I remember being like that. It’s kind of sad when it wears off.”

Bayne met her husband when they were in their late 20s and they both had children from previous relationships. They married 18 months later and in 2007 welcomed a son into their blended brood of four children.

Bayne, who works as an accounts officer, says it’s easy to let your marriage fall apart.

“You become complacent. It almost creeps up on you,” she says. “You have to consciously work on it.”

She says many people assume Fifty Shades of Grey, with its exploration of bondage and domination, has encouraged couples to be more kinky in the bedroom.

“None of my friends that I know of have become interested in trying that angle at all,” she says. “It didn’t make me go, ‘Let’s try this’. It was the relationship underneath it all, the intimate connection. It was fun to read, but it was fantasy.”

Nor did she read more erotic fiction.

Bayne will see the Fifty Shades of Grey movie starring Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson with three friends this week.

“I’m going in without huge expectations. From the trailers I think Jamie Dornan is going to do a great job.”

Source: news.com.au

Have you read 50 Shades of Grey? Are you excited to see the movie? Tell us what you think!

This bondage- infused romance has received numerous analyses; some suggesting it encourages and glorifies rape and violence against women for entertainment’s sake and it also isn’t a true representation of the BDSM world.

Aspects that maybe can potentially be read into it, but ask the women who read the book what they saw in the novel and you’ll have a very different write up. This is what we are looking at today.

50 Shades is an old-fashioned romantic story with the rich-man-sweeps-innocent-beauty-off-her-feet female fantasy. Except, it has an alluring and dominant male character that makes women dreamy. The kind of man, who knows how to gradually and totally turn a woman on, he makes women the centre of his erotic fantasy and all women crave that – a man who just knows what they want.

No wonder many women all over the world LOVED this book.

Some women that read this book responded to it by developing erotic feelings – feelings so powerful that in some cases they wanted to have sex with their own husbands. Yes, you read it right!

Maybe what some women want is not just sex, they want more interesting sex. Yes, sex that veers from the ‘Vanilla’ sex, not that Vanilla sex is bad but too much of the same thing gets a bit well, boring! Women want exciting, intuitive sex that includes fantasies, role-play, kinky sex and S&M.

Blame it on the changing times, where women are at par with man in the workplace, where women are having and supporting children on their own – women are less dependent or subjugated than before. Some modern women, successful at work, secretly yearned to be submissive in bed.

Maybe these S&M fantasies of sexual surrender offer a release, a vacation from the norm, an escape from the dreariness and hard work of equality. This stresses a very good point, that the most powerful erotic organ is the brain, and a lot of men have a stereotype into just being into the physical experience and not the mental experience. For many women they are drawn to S&M or other alternative forms of intimacy because of the mental element to it.

Why is it so interesting to surrender, or to play at surrendering?

S&M is about ceding control; it’s not just sex; it’s about turning the other person on. It can be through touch, through teasing, through excluding some senses and heightening others senses, through restricting motion with ropes or sight with blindfolds. S&M is both a mental and physical expression where sexual tension is built slowly. When you are really turned on, pain can feel a lot like pleasure, and spanking becomes pleasurable. BDSM is much more then the actual physical acts to fully understand it one would need to actually probably try it out.

The Try Guys went ahead and gave it a go. Watch the video below it’s both funny and informative:

Buckle up because you are going to be taken through some S&M sex scenes when you watch the movie 50 Shades. There’ll be knots, buckles, nipple clamps, spanking and how to use a whip.

By now you are thinking that BDSM, at least as presented in this movie, can be quite classy and alluring, maybe some ideas are titillating enough for experimentation or incorporating into your sexual repertoire.

Get in the mood by watching the trailer here.

Have fun broadening your mind and maybe giving a go at some of the erotic thoughts introduced in the film.

I’m thrilled that gals who’ve never read erotica before are doing so now… inspired by 50 Shades of Grey… captivated by the sexually powerful and supercharged eroticism that BDSM sexual encounters can elicit. On the other hand, because of how BDSM is portrayed in 50 Shades, I’m concerned that those less familiar with this type of sexual play aren’t really getting an accurate picture of what BDSM is all about.

Let me put this right out front… the erotic domain of BDSM is perfectly O.K. for “normal” people, as fantasy… or reality. In fact, for many, BDSM offers a degree of sexual intensity and wicked pleasure that is truly “explosive.” How many people engage in BDSM sex? At least half of us are into BDSM in one form or another!

Research from the Durex 2005 Global Sex Survey found that 20 percent of sexually active people engage in “kinky play” with their sex partners. This includes, for example, the use of blindfolds, bondage, and masks. More interesting still is research from the Kinsey Institute which revealed that 55 percent of females and 50 percent of males derive sexual pleasure from experiencing some degree of voluntary pain during sexual activity, from the application of nipple clamps, the use of floggers, paddles, etc.

If we search the Internet using the words “fetish” or “BDSM”, we’re likely to see some bizarre BDSM activities that would scare the heck out of anyone. Internet content is perversely skewed by the porn industry and doesn’t represent the flavor of BDSM we’re talking about. As with traditional sex activities, some BDSM turns you on, some does not!

BDSM doesn’t have to include pain at all. A “submissive’s” knowledge that she is “helpless”… that someone can do things to her that she can’t in any way resist… can be a powerful turn-on. In fact, voluntary release of controlis the part of BDSM cited as the major turn-on.

Popular misconceptions, what I call “BDSM mythology,” have prevented many people from exploring a sexual variation that is actually highly creative, cerebral, sensual, playful and oh so naughty! And who doesn’t like to be naughty every once in a while? So let’s look at six of the most common BDSM myths and see how they compare to the truth.

Myth 1: All Dominants are Abusive. FICTION!

The partner who plays the role of ”dominant” actually cares deeply for the physical, mental and emotional well being of his “submissive.” He would never do anything dangerous to her and his behavior is limited at all times strictly by what his partner finds enjoyable.

“Safe words” are well rehearsed before the fun even starts, so a submissive can tell her partner to stop at any time. “Red”, “yellow” and “green” are often used. Red means exactly what you think: “stop right now because I’m not enjoying what you’re doing (or it’s just too intense, etc.).” Yellow means “I’m O.K. with what you’re doing for the moment, but I might not want you to continue.” Green means: “I really, really like that, keep it up!” Yes, he has a need to control, but a dominant always balances “control” of his sub with the prime directive to insure safety at all times and meet the needs and desires of his submissive.

Myth 2: the Dominant is in Control. FICTION!

A dominant’s job is to fulfill the submissive’s needs — that’swhat brings the dominant pleasure. “Every good dominant knows that the submissive is really the partner in control,” says Jennifer Hunter. “All a submissive woman has to do is relax and enjoy the ride while delicious sexual acts are visited upon her. She’s the star of the proceedings. Someone is ministering to her needs for a change. Master is choreographing all the action.”

BDSM couples can also decide to abide by the Safe, Sane and Consensual credo, a carefully crafted set of rules for BDSM sexual engagement. The couple negotiates before they begin any BDSM play, so nothing happens unless it’s been agreed upon in advance. In short, the person who controls the show is always the submissive, never the dominant!

Myth 3: Dominants had abusive childhoods. FICTION!

Christian Grey is portrayed as a Dom because he had an abusive childhood. Childhood trauma as a valid psychological premise for practicing domination is just not accurate.

Myth 4: Submissives are weak and have low self esteem. FICTION!

The opposite is true of a submissive. They give up control because they are strong enough to choose to do so. Only a strong individual with emotional fortitude can agree to let go and entrust herself to the care and protection of an honorable DOM partner… a partner who totally understands and appreciates the value of the gift of trust that they’re being given.

According to Dr. Laura Berman: “Being dominated and out of control can feel very sexy, especially if you are someone who is typically in control and juggling many responsibilities at once. It can be very freeing and erotic to simply relinquish those responsibilities and tap into your sexual side without any guilt or pressure.”

Let’s face it, after a long day of managing employees, making all the decisions, looking after children, etc., being in charge can get old. A gal can really get into surrendering control!

Myth 5: If you enjoy BDSM your brain isn’t wired correctly. FICTION.

This is a very common myth. Most dominants will tell you that their submissives (often referred to as “clients”) could not be more normal. They were not abused as children, and most are college educated. In general, they are drug-free, confident, secure and mentally stable, and tend to be in positions of considerable power and control in their everyday lives. You can be happily in love in a healthy relationship – and still love BDSM.

Mistress Rikka, a professional DOM, shares her view: “My personal opinion based on years of playing professionally is the more intelligent and successful a man or woman is, the more likely he or she is to engage in BDSM. Why would this be? First, the largest sex organ we possess is the brain, so if you are smart, the sexual fantasies you have will be much richer, detailed and kinkier than the rest. Secondly, if you are in a position of control or high stress and are dominant throughout the workday, taking a break from also being sexually dominant is necessary for balance. That doesn’t mean my clients want to be dominated all the time. Just every once in a while when the pressure builds up.”

Myth 6: BDSM is primarily about pain. FICTION!

BDSM is not primarily about pain. It is a power exchange between a dominant and a submissive, which does not necessarily involve pain, humiliation or anything else you are uncomfortable with. The reason mild pain is a popular ingredient in BDSM is because the slightest amount gets the adrenaline pumping through the veins… and suddenly the receiver experiences every sensation much more intensely… including pleasure.

Does that mean the dominant needs to inflict even mild pain? Absolutely not! You may not want anything to do with pain, and that’s okay. It is all personal preference, and your preferences are something you’ll discover along the way. You may be in for surprises!

Debby Herbenick, sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute and author of Because It Feels Good, says that BDSM is a huge umbrella term for a wide range of activities. “It’s important to understand that there are so many different ways of engaging in BDSM play, from the fuzzy handcuffs you can buy at a women-oriented sex boutique to the more extreme sexual dungeon set-up,” she says. “Even if you are just using one device, like a flogger, there are so many different ways to use it. Some may stroke a partner with it while another person will really whip them with it.”

BDSM can be defined as any kind of practice where power play is involved. In these scenarios someone is in control, and the other person is handing over their control, if even for a few minutes. If all you’re doing is experimenting with a little spanking during sex, or being blindfolded with a silk scarf, that can be called BDSM. Not that you’ve ever been blindfolded and spanked… or have you? If not, maybe you should be…

The good news is 50 Shades of Grey is introducing millions of people to the ideas of BDSM sex, as well as to the world of sex toys, and new and creative ideas for sexual interplay. If you want to explore this genre for real, learn a bit more. After all, knowledge is power!

To see what BDSM is really all about, visit Bring Back Desire’s Who’s The Boss reading room. You’ll find a variety of extremely well written, highly erotic BDSM stories that will capture your imagination… and give you some great ideas for spicing up your sexual play.

For more tips, tools and resources for keeping intimacy, passion and sensual pleasure alive in your relationship, visit BringBackDesire.com, where we carry everything a gal needs to get out of her head and back into bed.

Source: bringbackdesire.com

But from such modest beginnings did one giant success story grow, and now EL James’ ‘mummy porn’ trilogy Fifty Shades Of Grey is raking in over $1 million for the British author every week.

Fifty Shades is an erotic story about a recent female college graduate who is seduced and dominated by a billionaire businessman.

The books were initially popular with bored housewives but are now exploding on to the mainstream, shattering sales records in 37 countries and being translated into dozens of languages. There’s even a movie deal in the works.

Having been published just four months ago, the combined total global sales of EL James’ trilogy is already 20 million.

Just one month ago the sales total was at 16 million, meaning the books are now selling at a colossal rate of one million paperbacks and ebooks per week.

Celebritynetworth.com estimates that mother-of-two EL James, whose real name is Erika Leonard, must be making $1.34m every week:

‘It’s safe to assume that EL James has long ago sold enough copies to repay her seven figure book advance, which means at this point she is earning the standard seven per cent royalty on every $14 paperback and 25 per cent royalty on every $10) ebook.

‘In the last month, James has sold four million paperbacks and one million ebooks, which equates to $2.94m in paperback royalties and $2.497m in ebook royalties. In other words $5.4m in four weeks, $1.35m per week!’

James has also just been paid $5m from Universal/Focus Features for the film rights to the trilogy, so it really has been quite some year.

James, originally a self-published Kindle Direct Publishing author, saw popularity of her book soar online after readers embarrassed to be seen with a hard copy of the racy tome preferred to buy online.

The Kindle edition of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is currently outselling the print book at a rate of more than two to one.

Sales of the book, the first in a trilogy, have overtaken the Harry Potter books and the Da Vinci Code, to the delight of not only James, but established romance writer Jilly Cooper.

Cooper yesterday credited James with reviving interest in the flagging ‘bonkbuster’ genre, saying: ‘Porn was terribly out of fashion before that book came out.

‘While I have heard that it is quite poorly written, I am delighted that it’s giving a new lease of life to the genre.’

Fifty Shades writer James has said she thinks her books are successful because they offer women a ‘holiday from their husbands’.

Source: dailymail.co.uk