Stuck on ideas as to what to get your partner this silly season? Are you sick of the same old gifts? Dying to put some zing into your Christmas? We all know that as much as underwear and socks are a necessity to daily life, perhaps it’s time you stepped out of your comfort zone and bought something really memorable.

Christmas is about giving and nothing is better than seeing the look of satisfaction and appreciation on your partner’s face when you know you purchased the right gift.
So we have looked into some of the worst gifts and some of the best gifts you can give out this Christmas.

As a general rule, do not buy females kitchen appliances. It’s very unsexy and unless you plan to be single in the New Year it is advisable to not purchase any such household items. No sireee. Just put down that Harvey Norman catalogue right now.

Also no linen, naff ornaments or any recycled gifts you no longer want. Yes, we all have a pile of unwanted presents in the cupboard from our crazy aunts. The aunt who thought a Garfield jigsaw puzzle was exactly what you needed for Christmas. Save these gems to give to the people in the office when ‘Secret Santa’ is enforced.

And ladies: do not buy your partner any clothing unless he has requested for you to do so. That’s the mother or crazy aunt’s job. There are so many other things out there to rev your partner’s engine so let’s get down to the good stuff.

It’s always a recommendation to purchase something you can use together. Yes this includes that brand new, rotating, buzzing, cooks-dinner-for-you-and-washes-up-afterwards vibrator your missus has had her eye on. Or the anal beads you have always thought your man would like. Perhaps even a gift voucher for the naughty store of your choice and the promise of a fun shopping spree on a day off together. That way you can pick something out you’ll both love.

If money is a factor but you still want to give something special, a homemade gift voucher booklet never goes astray. You can also get quite creative with this one and personalise it to suit your tastes. Anything from ‘IOU one massage’, to ‘IOU a one hour oral sex session with your choice of topping: chocolate sauce, honey or whipped cream’. (Non-refundable and not valid on Sundays).

For the truly brave a his/hers waxing could be on the cards. Nothing can be more erotic than a little pain before pleasure, and smooth, hair-free bits and pieces wrapped in some new lingerie will certainly ignite some fires. (Just keep it indoors since it is bushfire season…)

The even braver could venture into some permanent ink a la Pamela and Tommy Lee. Or should that be Kid Rock? Perhaps just your partner’s initials tattooed onto one another could be a present with an edge. Something less permanent? Piercings can heighten sexual pleasure and could be an interesting gift option. You can both gain from a piercing in a strategic position.

Have you always wanted some nice shots of your partner? Ones where they don’t have their eyes half shut and clasping onto an alcoholic beverage? A great idea could be a professional studio photography session. You can book the both of you in or just stand back while they make your partner into model material. Tastefully done nude shots are something you can both enjoy, or something even naughtier if you so desire.

Finally, the tried and true treat is the dirty weekend away or the naughty overnight stay in a nice boutique hotel. With so many packages on offer this time of year, you simply choose a destination, book it, pack the new toys and enjoy.

We all know it’s the thought that counts so put some consideration into it and see what other ideas you can come up with!