Ever wanted to add a little dirty talk with your partner when your horizontal folk dancing but didn’t want to end up sounding like a B-grade pornstar? We here at RHP believe that talking dirty is a sexy skill that needs to be mastered. So to help you all achieve pornstar stardom, we have come up with a number of simple tips to help you sex-up your speech. Why not practice your sexy speak out on other RHP members in our online forums and chat to see if you can work them into a fuss?

My then-partner and I were fooling around late one night and I was in the mood for being a bit naughty, so I nibbled on my partners ear and whispered, “talk dirty to me,” in the sexiest voice I could conjure. “Ahhh, okkk,” he nervously croaked. “I’m going to put my, ahem, penis. Is that ok or should I say cock? I’m going to put it in, put it in…oh Jesus what should I call it?” That’s where the conversation and the mood abruptly, should I say, deflated!

I couldn’t stop myself from laughing which made him terribly upset. “I feel stupid!” he whined. “I don’t know how to talk dirty!”  I talked it over with some of my male friends the following weekend and they said exactly the same thing. They would never talk dirty with their girlfriends because they didn’t know whether they were actually supposed to use dirty words and phrases or if it was supposed to be more seductive and sexy.

Talking dirty to your partner can be really sexy and arousing if you know what to say and how to say it. Of course, each person to their own, so you may have to suss out your partners dirty talk style before you start.

Men can find talking dirty a turn-on when they are dating a woman that isn’t explicit about sex in her everyday life. If you’re the type who swears like a sailor during lunch with rellies, it’s probably not going to be a surprise to him particularly if you continue doing it in bed. For all you girls who play it pure and virginal in public, saving your wild inner-temptress for behind closed doors will blow him away and leave him speechless.

However, for all you out there totally clueless as to where to start, here are some good tips that helped me totally knock the pants (literally!) off my partner. • The biggest issue people have with talking dirty to their partner is the embarrassment. What should I say? How do I say it? Is she/he going to think I sound pathetic? Start with sexy texts or emails. It’s often less embarrassing to write something down than it is to say it straight to someone’s face—even better if you’re not around when they read it. Send a short text saying, “How good was sex last night? I loved the way you teased me. I think it’s my turn to return the favour tonight.” My partner loves it when I put sexy little messages in with his lunch for work. “Hey baby! Eat up coz you’re going to need all the energy you have when I get my hands on you!”

• When you’ve built your confidence up, try suggesting it in bed. The easiest way is to increase the intensity of your moans and groans and then describe what’s happening: “It turns me on watching you disappear inside me.” If you can hold eye contact as you’re describing it, you get extra points. Try get him/her to join in by whispering, “Tell me what you’d really like to do to me” in their ear.

• Timing is essential. It can be ultra-naughty to whisper something dirty into your partner’s ear when you’re out in public. However, if you’re like my partner who only needs me to nibble on his ear and whisper “I want you now,” and he’s bursting at the zip, I would leave the dirty talk until you’re between the sheets.

• Don’t worry about sounding cheesy because it’s pretty much impossible! All dirty talk is somewhat cheesy. Say it sexy and say it like you mean it.

• Swear words are optional. Some men find it incredibly erotic if you use them, especially if you don’t usually swear. But you can still talk up a sexual storm without them. Try dropping one or two in when you are talking dirty and see how they like it.

• Don’t be afraid to plagiarize. If you are having phone sex and you have a naughty mag or book handy, don’t be afraid to read out steamy sections that catch you eye. I’m addicted to romance paperbacks and my partner loves it when I put on a sexy voice and read out the sex scenes (which can be very raunchy!).

If you have any more tips to help our RHPer’s master to art of dirty talk, please post your suggestions in the forums.