Feeling a bit jaded by your average porn film? I think most of us have seen enough pouty blondes with pneumatic breasts go through the same old motions while screaming ‘Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah’ ad nauseam. Sure, for many it’ll do the trick, but sometimes we need to refer to some mainstream film action to get our kicks. Here are some big-screen scenarios that have made us feel a bit flushed, and not a Ron Jeremy look-alike in sight!

Let’s not worry about the ubiquitous favourites such as Basic Instinct, Wild Things and 9 ½ Weeks. Having said that, we do have to give a nod to Sharon Stone who braved the task of doing a completely pointless sequel. Yes. Basic Instinct 2 (2005) sucked but it didn’t completely nosedive before giving us a tasty orgy scene where Sharon gets suitably nailed by some random brute in a very stylishly visual scene. The DVD provides other uncut moments worthy of viewing. Just fast-forward the rest of the film.

Well how about a film about the porn industry? Boogie Nights (1997) rates highly amongst those who want some quality sex action (albeit simulated) coupled with good acting and entertaining storyline. Heather Graham (with or without roller skates) is hot of course, but you can’t go past red-headed ‘MILF’ Julianne Moore getting seen to by Dirk Diggler’s sizeable member. Very voyeuristic, and very good.

More voyeurism? Can’t say it was an Oscar winner but Wild Orchid (1990) provides enough moments of pure eroticism set in the very hot environs of Brazil. Mickey Rourke watches Carre Otis being seduced by a man in a wordless but very expressive session. He wants her himself but it’s as if through his voyeurism he is connecting with her. Psychoanalysis aside, it’s worthy of a perve.

How about some very straight to the point sex as depicted by Harry Berry and Billy-Bob Thornton in Monster’s Ball (2001)? This searing hot sex scene made headlines for its star power and explicitness. Bareback Mountain (2006) may have made a few guys go limp but you can’t deny the hot intensity projected by Heath Ledger and Jack Gyllenhaal. Totally believable and for girls who enjoy watching some boy-on-boy, totally hot.

Girl-on-girl action? Check out Mullholand Drive (2002) for some electrifying lesbian love scenes. Wonderfully realistic, this is exactly how girls love other girls.

Want some S&M play? You can’t go past Secretary (2002) which has James Spader spanking his naughty secretary Maggie Gyllenhaal with whom he has engaged into a very kinky relationship. Pass me the paddle!

OK. You say you want real sex? Well how about some mainstream flicks that feature unsimulated sex scenes? More and more directors and actors are getting brave in their aim to use real sex as expression. There’s Chloe Sevigny’s controversial blow job in The Brown Bunny (2004) and the numerous graphic sex scenes occurs in Romance (2001). There’s also the very sensual Intimacy (2001). It kinda takes your breath away seeing real actors having sex.

Finally, the one to look out for that’s coming to a cinema near you is Sienna Miller’s new film Factory Girl. Rumour has it that Jude Law’s ex-girlfriend did a little bit more than simulate sex. Whether it’s true or not we’ll probably never know but we won’t say no to seeing a little more on-screen sex that doesn’t involve diabolically bad acting and monotonous pumping and grinding.