The baking summer rays are here, you can flip the boss of in the rear view, pack the esky and head to your special place. The canvas is clean and we wanna help you slab on just the right colours, ensuring this is the best summer ever! So, we’ve addressed all the big subjects selecting the crème de la crème to save you the hassle; from music to food, from booze to sex, it’s all sorted. Just flip through the list and get out there… it’s gonna be RedHot!

Movie of the summer

Zack and Miri make a porno – In Cinemas February 19, 2009

You’re a RedHotPie reader so this may not come as any great shock but we’re putting our fiver on Zack and Miri Make A Porno; how can this one miss seriously?!? You’ve got the comic genius of Seth Rogen, the girl-next-door hotness of Elizabeth Banks and some jack-arse plot to make a truck load of cash by doinking each other stupid in front of a camera! Hell it sounds like a normal Saturday night in the RHP chat-rooms right! On past successes alone, we here in the Pie bunker feel that Mr Rogen is going to kick the bejesus out of this one and should you miss it, we’re coming after you with bats.

Album of the summer

Kings of Leon – Only By The Night – Out now

Look, we really wanted this list to contain stuff that was coming out over the next couple months but the cold hard truth of the matter is, the Summer soundtrack is on shelves already! Yes you guessed it, their sex is on fire, they are indeed The Kings of Leon and their new album, Only By The Night rules so hard it hurts. In some strange reverse Samson scenario, the boys have had a shave and found a bunch of hits residing where their horrible Colonel Sanders sized beards used to be. Smash hits like Closer, Manhattan and the brain melting Sex On Fire are just the tip of the iceberg, Only By The Night will surely be their defining moment, and a sweet soundtrack to you smashing your partner on some secluded beach – excellent.

Sexy Party of the summer

Couples International – Hawaii 50 Beach Party, Jan 24, 2009, Brisbane.

We’re talking Hawaiian shirts, thongs, cold drinks, webcam rooms, jelly wrestling and a fair portion of good old fashioned shaggin’, now we challenge ya to top the Hawaii 50 Beach Party being held by Couples International on January 24. CI have a seriously impressive port folio of party chuckin’ and it’s a safe bet this one’s gonna be up there with their best. It’s the holidays, so don’t be afraid of hopping a quick plane ride to get to his one, you’ll feel the benefits right through to next summer! Check our events guide for full party details.

Drink of the summer

Gage Roads Premium Lager + Apple Martinis

For the lads, let’s face it fellas, when the mercury’s pushing forty and you’ve sweated the yearly rainfall putting up that new decking out back, the only drink that’s gonna get the job done is an icy cold beer. This year the beer to be near is Gage Roads Premium Lager, this little West Aussie brewery is fast becoming one of the players in boutique beering and their stable of ambers is fast spreading, available at a good selection of bars around the country, not to mention the world. It’s a clean beer with a nice bite and good balance. It’s dangerously moreish and should be approached with caution on a hot day.

For the ladies, what to choose, what to choose, well after having a quick meeting in the RedHot bunker, our resident she-devils have agreed that this summer, they will be drinking Apple Martinis or as it is more commonly known, the Appletini. Endorsed by the one and only Zach Braff, aka Dr John Dorian on the hit comedy series Scrubs, the Appletini is built for our hot dry summer days, and it’s a fruit based beverage… so it’s gotta be healthy! Now there are a few subtle variations on this lil’ fella depending on where you’re drinking it but this is how the Pie rolls…

You take equal parts Vodka, Apple Schnapps and Apple juice,

Pour into a shaker with some crushed ice and shake like crazy,

Strain into the glass and splay a piece of apple on the rim.

You’re made in the shade.

Food of the summer

BBQ chilli King Prawns

Obviously it’s gotta be a BBQ dish right, well forget the chops and snags and lock in Australia’s seafood classic. If it’s good enough for Paul Hogan, it’s good enough for the Pie, so we’re going with barbecued chilli king prawns. We’re blessed to have such fruitful waters lapping at our coastline so we’re going to give thanks by smashing a truckload of these little bastards over the break and we think you should too!

Get yourself some skewers, (soak them for an hour first to prevent burning on the barbie).

Thread three King prawns on each stick, be sure you skewer a good thick part of the prawn.

In a bowl whisk together half a cup of sweet chilli sauce, the juice of two limes, 4 tablespoons of light soy sauce and 1 tablespoon of sesame oil.

Brush each side of the prawns with a good coating of the sauce mixture then get ‘em on the hot plate or grill quick smart.

As soon as your prawns go that rosy orange pink on both sides they’re ready. Serve them up with your left over sauce as a light dripping.

Awesome!

Celeb of the summer

Heath Ledger

It might be a little cold for a summer list but we’re pretty sure the name you’ll be hearing quite a bit of over the next few months is that of the dearly departed Heath Ledger. Not only will this be our first full summer without the uber-talented dream boat, you also have the one year anniversary of his death coming up and most importantly, on January 22nd it is widely predicted our boy will be getting the Oscar nomination he so deserves after scaring the shit out of the planet with his freakishly disturbed portrayal of the Joker in The Dark Knight. We sure will miss you Heathy old boy, but let’s have one more kick arse summer together… see ya in the sun!

Sex position of the summer

Doggy style

We’re gonna go right ahead and lock in doggy style because we’re quite sure that’s exactly what each and every one of you sex fans will be doing over the long, hot, hard summer. Really, we looked at a shade over 700 positions before writing this (700 yes, don’t forget, we work for RedHotPie), and we kept coming back to the same position, and coming, and coming and coming… Snap! What’s better than the long, deep penetration the Alsatian imitation allows, not to mention the big porn star faces you can pull while your partner can’t see your mug… you know what we’re talkin’ about.

Gig of the summer

Soundwave – Feb 21 thru Mar 2 around Oz

With Neil Young’s decrepit arse all but ruining the Big Day Out for everyone this year (yeah he’s a rock icon but so what), the torch for hottest festival of the summer looks like being passed on for the first time in years… and the successor – Soundwave. Yup, screw Neil Young, if you want rock , well you’ve got it. How about Nine Inch Nails, Alice in Chains, Dillenger Escape Plan, Alkaline Trio, Bloodhound Gang and a whole bag more than will require 90% of Australia’s Tarago’s to cart these drunken musos from show to show. Remember to sun block, hydrate and rock out with your cock out, and if you don’t have a cock, grab someone else’s… oh no we di’int!

Sporting event of the summer

Australia V Japan, Soccer world cup Qualifier – Feb 11, Melbourne

We think after the pant pooping performance in Bahrain recently the Socceroos are counting their blessings, so come February 11th, when qualifying for the world cup gets serious, there’s going to be a lot of face saving to be done… God help the Japanese team. If they thought the 3-1 hammering we gave them at the 06 world cup was painful, wait until you play us when angry.

If you’ve got any must do, or gotta sees for the summer, shoot us back a comment!