Couples who have never tried swinging before may wonder how to actually go about it. Obviously, joining RedHotPie is the best start but what to do after then even? There seems to be two clear paths to be taken: Meeting other couples one-on-one or going to a swingers club or party. So which is the best introduction to swinging for a newbie couple? We’ll take a look at the experiences of some couples, as well as the pros and cons for each way.

Jane’s husband Rob brought up the subject of swinging after numerous sexy sessions talking about introducing some extra people into the bedroom. Jane was filled with both trepidation and excitement at the thought, but eventually her curiosity got the better of her. Jane was keen to experience sex with another woman, and the thought of a man other than her husband touching her for the first time in eight years also thrilled her beyond words. She agreed swinging could be fun.

Rob immediately signed up on RedHotPie and suggested going to a swingers party that was advertised in the Events section. Jane had reservations about going to a party as all she could imagine was a Roman orgy scenario with lots of naked bodies lying around. Rob too was a little nervous about the idea and decided that meeting another couple through the RHP listings was probably a better option for first-timers.

“I’m really glad that we decided to meet a couple privately first. Rob was very understanding of my feelings about going to a party where neither of us knew what goes on. We luckily met another couple who were similar to us in that they were fairly new to swinging too.”

Jane and Robert met Angela and Simon on RHP and set up a drinks date. There, the two couples were able to chat openly about what they were both looking for over a few glasses of wine. Soon enough, everyone felt so comfortable and turned on that they got a hotel room.

“Angela was a little more experienced than I was in terms of other women so I let her take the lead. It was a wonderful night. I am so sure that I like women sexually, and it’s not just a phase. We didn’t take things much further than swapping foreplay but we’re happy for all of us to get to know each other better and maybe swap for sex later too. For now, it’s just a lovely experience.”

Jane and Rob are open to visiting a swingers club once their confidence increases, but for the time being prefer the intimacy of setting up dates with select couples. They’ve so far been very fortunate in meeting compatible people to ease them into the lifestyle.

However, for some others, finding the right couple can be a frustrating and time-consuming task. Linda and Pete met at least five couples online but nothing eventuated past the initial coffee meeting, aside from a once-off session with the first couple they met.

“I started wondering if we’d done the wrong thing. We had stated in our profile that we’d like to meet first and play later, but that seemed to attract couples who were happy to socialise and weren’t fussed about playing. On the same token, we aren’t prepared to say a definite ‘yes’ to playing until we’ve met people in the flesh either.”

On a whim, Linda and Pete decided to try a swingers party.
“Linda and I weren’t sure what to expect from the party, and we were slightly taken aback by the number of cars parked outside the venue, but once we got inside and felt more comfortable with the atmosphere, we were fine. Not everyone was naked and ‘at it’ as you might have imagined. In fact, we remained clothed most of the night. Until we met Sarah and Mike.”

“We had a few drinks and chatted about various things before discussing why we were all there at the party. We discussed our experiences and what went right or wrong with them. Before you knew it, we felt really relaxed and got into a spa with Sarah and Mike. That was the start of one very horny night for Linda and I. It all felt right. There was something exciting about the suddenness of the situation I guess. Now we wish we had just gone to a party first instead of muddling around organising dates.”

Whether it was the fact that Linda and Pete had finally met a compatible couple, or the fact that the party lent a spontaneous and sexy atmosphere to the night, they experienced the best night of group sex at a swingers party.

As Linda and Pete discovered, swingers parties and clubs seem to have an unwelcome image of being sleazy but that is far from the truth. Most modern venues provide a relaxed environment for couples and select singles and may be the perfect way for a new couple to scope out the scene and meet some new friends. There is no pressure for patrons to have sex but those who wish to can certainly have a wild night.

Clearly, it’s up to each couple to determine whether the party or club scene is for them, or if private meets give the much needed touch of intimacy for sex to happen. Ultimately, new couples should certainly consider trying both before deciding which way to swing. While many couples eventually end up sticking to either venues or one-on-one meets, others keep their swinging options fully open.

So the pros and cons in a nutshell? Private Meets

Discretion – It’s easier to keep things discrete if you are meeting couples (or singles) privately, and you’re less likely to run into someone you know since you can filter your contacts on RHP before meeting.
Intimacy – For couples who prefer the sensuality of playing with a limited number of people in the privacy of their own home, private meets may satisfy that need.
Convenience – You can choose the time and place to have fun.
Handpicking – Couples who have specific likes/dislikes in other people or play can use RHP to handpick compatible people.

Parties

Social Atmosphere – The more the guests, the more the interaction. Even if play isn’t involved, you may have a great social night out without getting stuck with a date that isn’t going anywhere.
Pick and Choose – You do not have to restrict yourself to just one couple or partners of a couple. For couples who find that the attraction isn’t reciprocated all ways with another couple, parties and clubs allow you some freedom to branch off with a person you are mutually attracted to.
Spontaneity – Some people enjoy the heady atmosphere of parties and are more likely to get their kit off at a party or club.