The Internet has opened up new possibilities in the world of personal contacts. Where once newspapers and magazines were the only means of placing and replying to personal advertisements, the Internet is now the host to hundreds of contact sites catering to all types of people and their needs. Internet personal sites are popular for a number of reasons. Firstly, most people have easy access to the Internet and can therefore create and view profiles/advertisements with a minimum of fuss. Secondly, online personals afford people a good level of discretion in that people can communicate via e-mail as opposed to having to necessarily trade telephone numbers. Lastly, having an online advertisement gives more descriptive details along with photos, which in the long run probably saves people time and effort (you can see before you reply). Here we look at how you should go about placing and replying to personal ads.

Effort
One small downside with Internet personal ads is that because it is often free and easy to join, many people do not put a lot of effort into their ads, in that they do not provide a lot of useful information (eg – “I’m horny” –aren’t we all?). Ads that get a healthy amount of responses are well written, descriptive and have a fun sense of humour that appeals to everyone. Don’t be too out there either though. It can be hard to distinguish between a kooky personality and a raving lunatic by words alone, and you may find people are put off by the zaniness (or the blandness, as the case may be) before you even get a chance to meet in person. Be balanced and honest in writing about yourself.

Anonymity
While the downside of online personals is not knowing what you get until you meet in person, the upside is that you can remain relatively anonymous until you are ready to meet someone under your own terms. Discretion and anonymity are fairly essential for couples (who may be a high-profile member of the local community) and ‘singles’, who are possibly conducting an extra-marital tryst. Not giving away your true identity has many merits. If an online relationship sours before a meeting is actually arranged, then you’re fairly safe.
However, that very need to be discreet and anonymous on your part can also be viewed as rather cagey behaviour and therefore, your efforts to protect your privacy may end up backfiring and prevent you from meeting genuine people online. Your reluctance to exchange photographs and phone numbers may give your contacts the impression that you’re not what you are, and understandably so. If people are extending their trust to you, then it is only courteous to meet them half way.

Patience
There are many people advertising on the Internet, and given that most people have busy lives in general, you may not necessarily get a response right away. Unfortunately this is often the case with single guys replying to single girls. Competition can be tough, but with some patience and a decent reply to a girl’s ad, (“I want to get it on with you baby” probably doesn’t constitute decent), you should get through the throng.

False Advertising
Perhaps you haven’t kept up with technology and the only photograph you have in electronic form is the one take at your sister’s wedding 5 years ago? You may have an extra pound or two since then and perhaps your hair has started to thin? Well, a photo’s a photo right? Wrong!
If you don’t have a recent photograph of yourself then don’t attach anything to your profile. You’re better off giving an accurate written description of yourself than misrepresent yourself to potential new friends with an old photo. No one likes to be fooled, even if that wasn’t your intention.

On A Whim
Do not place an ad on an online personals site unless you are prepared to eventually meet someone (if the right person comes along of course). You are never obliged to meet people who respond to your ad, but if lack of compatibility with a respondent isn’t the main reason why you don’t go as far as arranging a coffee date, then you’re not being fair to the genuine people who advertise on the site. Of course, if you’re sincerely not sure about meeting people in the flesh (it’s possibly your first time), then let your respondents know that you’d like to take it slow. You can suggest some e-mail exchanges, or chat over the phone initially before arranging a date.Seeking New Friends Many of the principles for placing ads on online personals sites apply to people who plan to respond to ads. This is particularly the case with issues of discretion and honesty, as well as being genuine in your intention to meet people in person. However, there are a few other points that people should consider before responding to an ad.

Be Aware of Your Rivals
If you are a single guy replying to a single girl’s ad, then you are more than likely going to be writing to a lady who may be receiving up to 10 responses a day. For this reason, you will need to make your response stand out from the crowd. You aren’t obliged to do so, but sending a photograph would certainly attract attention (full body or face shot – obscured, or not). Many men are inclined to send the infamous ‘dick pic’, but not all women find them appealing.
More importantly, take time to write something interesting about yourself. You should write more than a couple of sentence but not a one-page essay. Be as accurate as you can with spelling and grammar and try not to use expletives (“I’d love to *&%^ you all night honey” etc). That can come much later if all goes well.Know Your Etiquette
Don’t bother asking for a picture of the person who placed the ad unless you have sent one of yourself first. The general rule with picture sending dictates that the person responding to an ad should send a picture first. The person you are writing to is not obliged to send one back, (it would be courteous if they did so) but you are entitled to ask for one back politely (don’t demand). If you are reluctant to part with photographs initially, then let that be known.

Are You What They Want?
Before even tapping out your response, read the advertisement carefully. People don’t just put words up for decorative purposes. If you are a single male writing to a couple or single female, make sure that they are seeking single men. If the person has specific preferences in terms of age, build, height, religion or appendage size, then consider those before sending a reply to his or her ad. Some people may be less strict about their preferences, but some are not. Sexual orientation and martial statuses are also points that should be taken seriously.On a final note, everyone who utilises online personals should be respectful and courteous to others. Many people spend considerable time and money to try and meet like-minded friends, and everyone should be committed to fostering an online community that should only be about having fun.