As open-minded as the average person may be in today’s world where sex is selling everything from cars to breakfast cereals, there are still some aspects of human sexual behaviour that challenge Joe Blogg’s perception of normal. While we openly salivate over threesomes, hanker for soft-core B&D, and don’t even bat an eyelid at the bizarre, too-weird-to-be-true topics of daytime talk shows, something as ubiquitous as the one night stand still has the most free thinking of us passing judgement quicker than a Jerry Springer ’ho can get her kit off.
It’s true. No matter how progressive we would like to think our society is today, there still seems to be an ‘ick’ factor attached to one night stands (ONS). Let’s face it. The average girl isn’t going to enjoy being on a date with a guy who shagged the regrowth out of some ’blonde bird’ the night before. You’d hope he’d have the sense not to mention it, but in turn why does he need to hide it? Similarly, as much as men may champion women’s right to express their sexuality, many would still use the ’S’ word to describe a woman who needs more than one hand to count the number of shags she’s had in the last week.
Now why does it have to be like this? If we’re generally happy to accept that sex can occur between two (or more) people who aren’t seeking anything other than physical gratification, then surely the ONS and its followers shouldn’t cop such a bum rap?

I mean, what’s really in a ONS and what’s the big deal? After all, it really is a simple concept and usually only concerns a pair of consenting adults in any one transaction. Two strangers meet; one or both may be inebriated, or not (much more favourable in my opinion) and one or both may be attached, or not (much safer, needless to say). In order to alleviate their respective horniness or boredom, these two people choose to get it on. The next day (or an hour later), the pair bid farewell and make their merry way back to whence they came. Provided a condom or two were in the default settings, a huge smile on the dial should be the only parting gift between the two.

OK, I can hear the ONS naysayers already. Sure, in some cases you’d be lucky to get a farewell, fond or otherwise, after a five-minute shag that leaves you wondering why you didn’t pick option A and follow your friends to McDonald’s for a post-club binge. You could have at least got your jollies out of the Happy Meal toy. And safe sex? Good proposal, but we all know that it doesn’t always make it to the final board meeting.

Admittedly, the odds are that sex with someone you’ve only known for an evening (or less) isn’t going to be the most earth moving experience for you, but what if you hit the mother-load of sexual chemistry? What if your moment of unabashed carnal passion gives you the sort of sex that you’ll think about ten days, weeks, or even years later? Clearly, if you prefer sex to be a long term investment and unconditionally safe, then the potentially risky path of the ONS is not for you, but that shouldn’t imply that people who do engage in ONS are less stable or unsafe. And that seems to be the crux of why the brows furrow when Sally brings home an unindentifiable person back to her place.

We can’t help but ask: are we humans so shallow and clinical today that such a powerful gesture of love can be reduced to such a meaningless act? Are we that pleasure focussed that sex is regarded as pure recreation? Perhaps there is an underlying fear that the ONS somehow devalues human emotions, which in turn poses a threat to the basis of most human relationships. Is this the end of humanity as we know it?

Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. No more thought should be put into the ONS than judgement should be placed on those who do it. It happens, and it will continue to happen as long as people have sexual urges. Having a one nighter doesn’t make you any less capable of loving someone deeply and the ONS should only be an issue if you’re having them for reasons other than getting your rocks off. But let’s leave that for Dr Phil and Ricki Lake to solve.

The whole point is that we’re living in a time where sex can pretty much be whatever you want it to be. It’s no longer regulated by some strict moral code, imposed by church or state, and its various deviations are no longer considered as such. They’re simply choices that we’re allowed to make. For some, the ONS suits their lifestyle or where they are at presently. It’s not about scoring, and words like ’stud’ or ’slut’ no longer belong in the same sentence as the ONS. Reviled or applauded, the one night stand is a choice like anything else that we choose to do in the bedroom (or out) and more power to those who make that choice.

Getting Real: The pros and cons of one night stands

Pros

• It’s about the sex, the whole sex and nothing but the sex.
• You tend to be uninhibited with strangers and act out wild fantasies. Who cares if he/she finds out that you’ve got a dwarf fetish…
• For those not looking for a relationship, the ONS gives you sexual release without committment. Of course, while implied, do make sure your ONS buddy is on the same channel as you.
• You got laid! Sure, it’s not about scoring but man it does feel good to know you can still pull a guy/girl. Self-esteem boost.
• “I didn’t get his/her number. Nevermind!” – You had sex, you had a good time, and you move on. No waiting around for phone calls here.

Cons

• The ONS often involves a lot of alcohol or more which may impair performance. All the more reason to consume in moderation!
• With the ONS comes a sense of freedom and all-consuming passion which can put your health and safety at risk. Leave your inhibitions at the door but not your common sense.
• If deep down inside you think that an ONS will lead on to HEA (Happy Ever After), then don’t do it. Wait, and your prince/princess will come.
• You tonight, your friend tomorrow. If you have an easily bruised ego, either get thicker skin or blinkers.
• Strangers are exactly that. Be on the safe side and let your friend know where you’re going, and shag on neutral territory if you can (Get a room!).