So what is it that men look for in ‘take home to your mum’ material girlfriends? Who knows right? Each guy may have a different set of criteria that he’s looking for in a future wife, but there are some major ideas that are usually shared across the male masses. Warning: some traditional school of thought used!
* Independence and a successful lifestyle. This means having your own personal style, taking care of yourself without obsessing and finding time for your friends and family. Nothing is more attractive to a guy than a girl who knows how to have a good time on her own and looks for a man that shares her dreams not dominates them. A girl who likes doing things by herself and with friends, not one who wants to be around her man 24/7. A woman who knows how to live life on her own is the type who is most likely to be able to lead a successful and balanced relationship with a man.
* Waiting for the man to chase. This is a difficult topic to define, but generally, men like to do the chasing in the beginning of a relationship. Pursuing a man may not give you a chance to see his true feelings. If he is keen, he will initiate dates and outings, as well as call you regularly. Sitting back and waiting for him to do the running can pretty much guarantee that he is interested in you!
* Being sexy not slutty. In the beginning stages of a relationship, a woman should not be too forceful or crude so she doesn’t come across as overwhelming or unfeminine. Flirting is fine but no grabbing of the genitals or bum! If you are inclined to touch a man, make sure it’s a light touch on the arm or knee. As the relationship progresses, stronger displays of affection (especially in public) are more appropriate. Only then is playing footsies under the table okay to do!
* Not having sex too soon. This is a highly debated area, and reactions will vary with different people and situations. Once you take that first step, there’s no going back! For women, sex actually releases a hormone called oxytocin, which may make women become more attached than men, in a shorter time span. Men don’t deal with this very well, and can end up running. So it can be a good idea to get to know your man a little bit before you do the deed, even if the attraction is strong.
* It’s about the small things in life. You should show your man you care about him with small signs, such as preparing his clothes for the following day, or buying him little treats that you know he loves. Men are used to being pampered by their mother, and while you shouldn’t strive to be their next mum, you should pay some attention to his needs. This is how men can tell you care about them. In turn, you will notice him doing the little things for you.
* Show him your support. Stand by him in times of need, laugh at his jokes and help him get back up again. He will naturally do the same for you!
* Never apply pressure to your vested interest. This is an important issue, as men hate any sort of pressure. That means no incessant emailing or texting and no talking about the future in the first few months. And the ‘m’ word – don’t even think about it. Don’t worry, men will pop the question on their own when they are ready, and when they realize what they’ve got!
* Don’t tolerate bad behaviour. Guys respect women with whom they can’t get away with anything. If he knows there are consequences for his actions (like getting kicked to the curb for cheating) he’ll have a lot more respect for you, and of course isn’t likely to commit the crime. Married or attached men are out of bounds as they are likely to repeat the treatment. Of course verbal and physical abuse should not be tolerated under any circumstances.
* Choosing the right type of guy. There are many definitions of a good man, but he should be honest, dependable and supportive. He has to treat you right, and stick to his word. Chivalry is not dead, just somewhat difficult to find these days. Manners and politeness can give a good indication of how your man was brought up and how he is likely to treat you. Spending habits of both partners should also be reviewed as money is the number one argument topic for couples.
* Understanding the importance of love. Being in love can mean many different things to many different people. But generally, it should be a feeling of security and comfort, and a future together. Caring about someone’s feelings as much as you care about your own. And a wonderful feeling of well-being and happiness.