First meets can be scary as hell, and even the most confident woman can get nervous! So having been in this situation plenty of times myself, here’s some tips that I hope you’ll find helpful in navigating the first-meet-minefield.

Pick up the Phone

This one is completely up to you, but personally, I like to pick up the phone about an hour before the decided meet time and send a casual message along the lines of ‘Hey, just checking if we are still on for tonight at 7.30? Looking forward to it.’ Not only does this show that you’re prepared to be there and are excited about it, but it also ensures that you don’t rock up and sit alone waiting because he got caught up at work for an hour longer than expected. If you haven’t traded numbers (see ‘Play It Safe’), use RedHotPie’s messaging system and our mobile app to stay in touch 24/7!

Make a Good Impression

If you want to ensure that you’ve got the best chance possible of making a first meet turn into a second, be sure to make a good impression. Dress in something that makes you feel sexy and is appropriate to the venue (for example, if it’s a casual drink at a bar, maybe a nice pair of jeans, a dressy top and your favourite comfy heels). Physical impressions will only you get you so far before personality becomes vital. So what’s my best tip in terms of that? Read on…

Be Yourself

Bit of a no-brainer, right? Depends on your personality. I know I’m not the only one who can safely say that in the nervous awkwardness of some first meets, I have come across as a bit of a shy, bumbling mess. Definitely not sexy. Try to relax, and remember that no matter how the date goes there are many more slices of pie where that came from, so it’s not the end of the world if either of you walk away deciding not to come back for seconds. There’s really no point pretending to be something that you’re not because you’ll be caught out eventually when you let your guard down and show your true colours. Better to lay all your cards on the table to begin with so that he can decide from himself what he thinks.

Play It Safe

This shouldn’t need to be said, but a little common sense goes a long way. Be as sure as possible about the person you are meeting before giving out your details and deciding to meet. Exchange a few emails firstly, then jump into the RedHotPie chatrooms and suss each other out on webcam and use the audio feature to have a quick voice chat. I can’t stress how important it is to not stray from the safety and security of RedHotPie before giving out your personal contact details. I do not give out my contact details unless it is for practical reasons, i.e. we have arranged a meet and need to be able to contact each other should anything unexpected happen. With push notifications it’s even easier to keep your details private, as you can be made aware of a message sent through RedHotPie on your mobile, which most people are never without these days. If you haven’t yet downloaded the rhpmobile app, it will keep you constantly connected so you never miss a beat! As well as this, meet in a public place that you are familiar with at a sensible time of day.

Expectations

One of my favourite aspects of RedHotPie is that there’s no B.S.; people are upfront about what they are looking for and with whom they want to do those things with. This is great in weeding out people that aren’t looking for the same thing as you from the get go, with the click of a button and quick profile perusal. Always make it clear on your profile what you are looking for and what your expectations are. To ensure that there are no unwanted expectations or any pressure that could lead to potentially awkward situations on the first meet, it’s often a great idea to stress that first meets will be purely social. Saying that no play will take place ensures that no one is put a position that they aren’t comfortable with, should they decide that they’re just not that into it. Besides, if a guy isn’t willing to ‘waste time’ on a social meet and it’s important to you to have that connection first, then chances are you’ll disagree on other fundamental points too and he isn’t worth your time.

In reality, the only difference between a RedHotPie meet and a blind date is the first point of contact. Treat it much like any other date you would go on and you’ll do just fine, provided that you have been clear and upfront about what you are looking for in terms of the date, and beyond the date. Above all, enjoy yourself!

Interested in reading more? Check out the member forums!

‘Possibly naive question about meeting new people here.’ Read it here

‘RHP Virgins in here.’ Read it here