Erotic spanking is an extremely popular play style used between lovers for added sexual enhancement. Did you know that the buttocks are a major nerve-filled erogenous zone and an overwhelming flood of endorphins and bingo! -Sexy times! Therefore making spanking an extremely pleasurable activity.
Erotic spanking, according to Mistress Anna, is an art and can be developed with practice and patience. Begin with the basic and evolve at your own pace, add to the mix some toys.
As with any BDSM activity think about safety first. Also, be aware that spanking can bring up emotional or perhaps childhood issues for some people, and if your partner is unaware of the issues, can be a frightening time. Trust and security are two very important pieces of an enjoyable erotic spanking experience. Your partner needs to know they are safe and will not be harmed, and you, the spanker, need to ensure those very things.
Step One – Communicating
So, how do you go about ensuring that you retain all the fun of a sound spanking, while keeping everyone safe? The right approach and techniques, however, are key components for making a good spanking a sexy thing.
Communicating clearly and honestly with your partner is the first step, in any exploration or experimentation with new sexual ideas, and spanking is certainly a topic that will require discussion and honest communication between partners. While you are not in a sexual situation, fantasize with your partner about what you would like to do.
Talk about sexy ideas, and incorporating some sexy erotic spanking into your sexual play. Together, decide your boundaries.
Does s/he want to be spanked to tears?
Is it Over The Knee Spanking, on ‘all fours’, bent over the couch or table?
Does s/he fantasize about being spanked as ‘punishment’ or as pleasure?
Discuss what you will do if one or both of you aren’t crazy about spanking.
For many, the fantasy role-play punishment (an example being) a naughty schoolboy or schoolgirl is a very fun and real way for them to enjoy the eroticism of spanking without feeling guilty.
Step Two – Setting rules
Spanking can be painful, both physically and emotionally. A lot of people love to play with the boundaries of pain, punishment and pleasure, but setting some rules beforehand is essential. In fact, those who enjoy BDSM live by this rule. So discuss your limits. Tell your partner what you’re willing to try. And then tell them what you won’t do. Then listen to get that same information from your partner. Also agree on a safe-word that will bring play to a stop if and when you feel uncomfortable or something is a bit too much.
Step Three – Set the mood
Set the mood before you let loose on your partner’s behind, and arouse them otherwise spanking won’t be erotic just painful. Build it up and use dirty talk as it can set the mood especially if someone is being naughty.
Step Four – Get in on the act
Role-playing might be a fun way to get started; some examples could be master and slave, teacher and student,or any other role play you enjoy.
Step Five – Technique
Spanking techniques can be changed up every so often by varying the shape of the hand, intensity and speed of your strikes. For example, cupping your hand while spanking will usually result in a duller, deeper thud rather than the stinging sensation that usually results from spanking with a flat palm. Alternating between caresses and swats, or firmly grasping the buttocks at the end of each stroke are also great ways to mix it up a bit and tease the senses with alternating soft strokes and harder ones. Later you can start using a paddle and you can choose to use a wooden, leather or silicon paddle. Above all, listen to how your partner responds and reacts to it. You need to get familiar with your partners reactions to know that you are heading in the right direction, maybe push the boundaries a bit more or even slow things down all based on ‘reading’ your partners reactions.
Step six – choosing your implements
Spanking can be exciting, arousing and oh-so-sensual. If a little or a lot of pain is your pleasure of choice, you might want to bend over and give spanking a try.
The next step is to consider what to use for spanking. Costuming, implements and role-play can be erotically used during a fun spanking between partners. Shopping to choose equipment and toys can be just as fun and can add to the intensity of the play scene. There are a wide variety of toys to suit every type of fantasy for curious couples, you just need to get out there and start. You may choose to use your hand, a spanking paddle, and for the more advanced a flogger, ridding crop or whip.
Once you have discussed the fundamentals of your new sexy play, you will be sure to enjoy a very, very Spankalicious time!
Mistress Anna, will educate you through the dos and don’ts of spanking so you can safely and sensually tease and please your lover. She will give you inspiration for sexy new scenarios to help fuel, develop and increase your fantasies and desires.
Meet Mistress Anna at one of the monthly Sugar and Spice parties @ Our Secret Spot club in Darlinghurst.