We all know that RedHotPie is a great way for adventurous couples to meet other like-minded people for fun, and it’s been fantastic for the RHP Team to read about the amazing experiences many couples have had over the years. However, we do appreciate that not all couples have had as much luck as others, and indeed some have been left feeling defeated and disillusioned about the ‘scene’ that so many describe as amazing. People are then rightly or wrongly labelled as time wasters and before long, everyone ends up in a lose-lose situation which could have been avoided by taking some basic precautions. In this article, we look at those basics which are all centred around the same concept: You can only have your time wasted if you let it!

Work out what you want

Surprisingly, a lot of couples jump into the dating game without some sort of plan of attack. There is certainly nothing wrong with playing things by ear but only if you’re genuinely OK with things not working out (in which case, are YOU serious about meeting people yourself?). Before that, you need to know what you want out of the experience and identify the sort of couple that is going to be part of that. If you are relatively new to the scene and yet to meet another couple let alone play, consider whether you should meet a similarly new couple where you can all learn together at a relaxed pace, or if you want to be guided by a more experienced couple. Be honest about your newbie status and iron out any wrinkles of doubt you may have well before you set up a date. If there is even a possibility that one or both of you are unsure about entering the scene, you should tell the other couple at the very least, or talk things through further between yourselves. It’s also wise to decide whether you would like to keep your first date purely social or entirely sinful. While a lot of couples don’t ‘put out’ on the first date (newbies or otherwise), many couples are happy to romp immediately if everyone is comfortable. If you are very sure that you do not want to play on the first date, then make that clear to the other couple before setting up a date. If they are after a play date on a particular night, they may suggest meeting with you another time when a social date is preferred. Conversely, if you are only after a night of sex, don’t chat up couples who are unsure about playing. One party ends up branded a time-waster and the other ‘pushy’, when in reality your agendas just didn’t match up.

Ditch MSN and pick up the phone!

Yes, MSN (or any other online chat medium) is a good start point but it’s also the graveyard of many dead contacts. People become complacent with MSN contacts and as soon as someone is added and after a few aimless chats, the initial drive to actually meet in the flesh seems to wane. There seems to be no point in meeting IRL (in real life) when you create an online friendship with that person. Before you know it, the MSN username just becomes one of many on your contact list that you barely say hello to anymore. If MSN is simply too comforting to ditch, make some simple rules. Once you have added someone, initiate a chat reasonably immediately. Use MSN to introduce yourselves further, swap some photos, and share some small talk before discussing your respective plans of attack (see above). If you all feel that meeting would be ideal, then exchange telephone numbers, tentatively plan a date within the next fortnight and log off. Further online contact should really just be about fine-tuning your date plans and ideally even that should be done by phone. Don’t be tempted to engage in any lengthy online chats or (God forbid) sex talk. You could give the other party a completely different persona to your IRL self, and end up with a “Thanks, but you’re not our type”, without even having met! If both parties are really, really serious about meeting then MSN should be ditched all together. RHP gives you the means to message online and swap photos so the next step should ideally be dialing a number and having a chat. Extremely busy and discreet people excluded, a willingness to talk on the phone speaks volumes about how genuine a couple is in their intent to meet. If you don’t feel that you are quite ‘there’ in terms of calling someone (I’m too shy, too busy etc), consider whether you are really ready to meet people. Other than being a great way to verify that both parties are genuine about meeting, a phone call is also the easiest way to know that a couple does indeed consist of a male and female. People who rely on MSN to get to know a couple and later finds that couple to be simply a male with ambitious fantasies have only got themselves to blame. Once again, you can only have your time wasted if you let it.

Use RHP’s features to locate your ideal couple

Those who have been stung by having their time wasted by a faux couple must use RHP more efficiently to avoid repeating the same experience. Other than using the phone to verify that a couple is bona fide, you can always use RHP’s Advance Search to pick out couples to concentrate on. While non-verified couples are by no means not actual male/female couples, people who have taken the time and effort to photo verify themselves on RHP not only show that they are indeed a couple but also that they are genuine in their intentions. If they’ve made the effort to send us a verification photo, you can bet that they will give you the courtesy of a response if you contact them. Naturally, verified couples are more than entitled to expect the same of others so if you haven’t verified your own profile yet, snap to it! Other than photo verification, member validations are also a great way to see how couples have positively interacted with fellow RHP hotties. Lack of validations doesn’t mean no one has anything good to say about the couple, but you can safely assume that those with many validations from happy RHP couples are not likely to waste your time. Finally, Friends Lists can be helpful too in seeing if you have any mutual friends who can perhaps endorse one of you to the other, or vice versa. Many couples are beginning to use the Friend List as a mini network of couples who are having a ball just simply concentrating on arranging dates with people that have appeared on a friend’s Friend List. Poaching friends may not be a kosher thing for some, but if you are keen to start meeting people it wouldn’t hurt to look at the Friends List of people who profess to be having a great time.

So the next time you think about organising a babysitter, swapping shifts at work and getting your legs waxed for a hot Saturday night date, make sure you have at least considered one of the above steps before contacting couples on RHP. Once you’ve got the knack and a spare dose of patience, you should see yourself dating up a storm soon.