Ooh baby, you’re making me so hot… Give the sappy ramblings of Hallmark the flick this Valentine’s Day and add some dirrrty talk into your romantic romping. Whispering sexy sweet nothings into your partner’s ear will produce a cheeky melody of love that gives any Barry White CD a run for its money to help get you in the mood.

Chances are you like talking dirty as much as your partner does but if you’re yet to unleash this side of delicious tongue waggling into an already saucy routine then loosen up that mouth of yours as this is a great way to heat things up under the sheets.

First thing to do is lower your voice – think soft, sultry and sexy pillow talk, not loud hyena like howls – they can be saved for later when the nasty talk and whatever follows takes you over the edge. The idea is to create a mood for sensuality not just randy sex. “I like it when my boyfriend lowers his voice and speaks all breathy like, I call it his bedroom voice – you know kind of like bedroom eyes – I know it means he’s in the mood for a really hot time – no vanilla sex in sight,” says Krystal.

And so what do you say to each other? “Dirty talk doesn’t mean using fowl language or talking like a porn star. It’s about talking about the sexual experience you’re both sharing,” explains a female RedHotPie member. “Start off by just expressing what feels good and why and as you both learn to communicate you’ll find that your inhibitions go and your well on the way to being a smut talker.”

Simply put, just mention what you want him to do to you or what you want to do to her or what you think other people might be doing to each other. Dirty talk is all about saying heated things, sexy heated things, in the moment, so it’s best to let your instincts carry you. If you think your partner is hot then tell it how it is; “You are so hot!” If you feel they make your bits quiver then tell them; “Your touch makes my cock/pussy quiver.” If you’re very hard or wet; just say so; “I’m so hard/wet right now.”

Once you’ve gotten hold of the basics you can intensify the linguistic gymnastics. Add some metaphors and get really imaginative. “I make my dirty talk a bit more creative because the whole; ‘Oh you’re such a naughty boy’ gets a little boring after a while. So I mix it up with things like talking about a fantasy or explaining in really long detail just exactly what I’m going to do with him, so it’s kind of like a teasing strategy. I say things like, ‘I’m going to take my tongue and slowly slide down your body and then I’m going to grab your balls and put them in my mouth sucking them while I put my hand around your huge hard dick…’ things like that. By the time I’m done, he can’t wait to get in me,” says Louise.

Another turn on for many when it comes to the language of lovin’ is cursing which adds a more aggressive punch to your descriptions. “My partner is really softly spoken and can be shy but when we’re having sex they go crazy with swearing and it’s a completely different side to what I normally see. It’s so hot when you hear things like ‘Fucking bang me harder’ and ‘Shit, I’m coming’ when you’re right in the heat of the moment,” says Ben.

Another male RedHotPie member commented on a recent forum post that this tactic works well. “On rare occasions I have met women who, even though there is also respect and love, like to be taken as a sexual object at times. They love whatever comes out of my mouth when I’m not trying to be politically and socially correct. [For example] ‘Get over here bitch!… I’m gonna fuck you so fucking hard…” When things get really nasty, turn up the volume and give your neighbours something to complain about.

So how can you be great at dirty talk? A female RedHotPie member says that being honest has a lot to do with taking pillow talk from the sweet to the sexy. “They were honest [and that made it good],” she says of her experience with someone who was particularly good at dirty talk. “They talked about what felt good and why, which bolstered my self esteem to be more adventurous in the bedroom. And when I returned the favour they would embellish on what I was saying so it became a shared conversation of smut and sex. Having your conversation and mind fully focused on what you are doing and why intensifies the experience of sex itself… Am I turning you on yet?”

How do you make the language of love hot and steamy? Has anyone ever said something to you that was irresistible? And are there any words or phrases that should be avoided?