Dating Badboys .

Ladies, imagine these two scenarios… the first: you’re in a movie theatre, it’s an action film, but you’re not paying attention to the script nuance or the mise-en-scène, you’re watching the brooding lead; he’s chiselled, handsome, and oh-so-dangerous. Now, the second scenario: you’re on the couch, finishing your second tub of rocky road and you can’t stop crying, because that chiselled, handsome and oh-so-dangerous guy you met a few weeks ago cheated on you, with five other girls, several of them at once.

It’s one of the most painful discrepancies a woman will deal with in her romantic life, the gaping chasm between the romanticized cliché of the tameable, Hollywood badboy, and the often painful actuality of emotionally retarded, flesh and blood badboys.

If one looks back throughout cinematic history, can women be blamed for their ill advised romantic follies? Characters portrayed by guys like Connery, Statham, Diesel and Damon are sold as flawed but salvageable catches; pure of heart, but broken and tattered around the edges. If you could just get through to them, this could be it, and in reality, life can follow the script to this point, but sooner or later the warm celluloid veil can start to tear.

There’s no need to go into any over analytical breakdown of badboy psychology; for the most part, (without generalising completely), badboys are just that, bad. They like to play by their own rules; logic and patience are usurped by whim and base emotions, and when it comes to change, well you know that they say about the leopard and its spots.

But I don’t use the term bad as a judgement, I mean it in the cliché sense; all those attributes that make these badboy prospects so lusty and appealing are the same attributes that may cause you concern down the road. He responded quickly to your initial advances did he? Well he may do the same with the next girl. Blew off his plans to sweep you off your feet? Don’t be surprised when he blows you off next week. Got into a fight with someone at the bar? Don’t expect calm, rational conversation if you have some issues to address… you get the picture.

Generally Hollywood only sells the first act of these coupling tales… The woman perseveres, triumphs against adversity with her badboy and they finally kiss in front of the burning car wreck as the credits roll… but oh to be a fly on the wall six months later. Can you see 007 mowing the lawns and going through curtain material swatches with his woman? No, the routine and ritual of exclusive dating may not be a cage your badboy can stand, and if you go in expecting an easy transition you may be setting yourself up for heartbreak.

But this isn’t rocket science, you already knew this right? But knowing hasn’t stopped you acting or wanting to act when a badboy has taken your eye at the right time. Well don’t feel too bad; it seems we may be at a genetic disadvantage. In a recently published scientific report, it was found that in the week before ovulation, women were more likely to choose a badboy as a mate over a more humble and dependable choice.

For one week a month, female hormones ransack the control bridge and distort logic and rational thinking, turning these rebellious loners into the objects of our clucky desires. So be wary; second guess yourself when things seem out of character for you.

Perhaps the ultimate advice is this, understand that at times, Mr Wrong may feel like Mr Right, and there’s no harm in riding that freight train… hard… for a while at least. Go in firing on lust, but be aware of it. Try not to invest emotionally for at least a few weeks; even with all the sweet nothings he’s whispering in your ear, (badboys tend to be good at that.)

If you get a month or two in and you still think and feel he may be worth pursuing then dip a toe in the water; explain what you would like and see what he says. If grown up talk about relationships is going to scare him off, best it happens now rather than later when your heart is in his hands.