Think of a woman’s pussy like a sideways mouth, with beautiful soft lips and an opening to savour the taste of your partner, and the hood and clit sticking out just like a tongue.

When kissing someone you not only want to make it passionate but you kiss in lots of different ways. Sometimes hard and fast, or maybe soft and gentle, you warm up and pash deeper as you go. Sometimes you use your tongue, savouring the taste of your partner or nibble at their lip enjoying the intimacy with a partner.

When going down on your woman there are the basic principles of making your woman reach orgasmic heights she never thought possible. Remember every woman is different and in fact, each woman changes her sensitivities and preferences on a minute by minute basis. So there should be no routine or complacency here. Your woman will appreciate you concentrating on her and you being aware of her movements and gentle signs guiding you to just the right spot, but boy, if you do you’ll see the rewards and she will see you as the Sex God she has been searching for.

I’m going to go through a few basic do’s and don’ts and then take you through the theory and into a practical scene. So buckle up and enjoy the ride. Here are the 8 Tips to become an expert at licking her out:

Golden rules

1. It’s not about you. It’s about her.
2. Follow her lead, her moans, her pushing into you, pulling away or changing position.
3. Enjoy yourself. There are few things in this world as pleasurable as licking a soft, sweet pussy while a woman writhes around you, grabbing your hair, moaning, yelling out in ecstasy and begging you for more.

1. Take your time getting there

Unless it’s a wonderful quickie, don’t go straight for the goods, make her beg for it.

2. Do your warm up

Take some time to caress her whole body, every once in a while brush by her pussy – with your lips, your fingers your tongue – just enough to let it know you’re on your way.

3. The mouth method

Treat her pussy like a big juicy mouth that you just can’t wait to pash. Turn your mouth, or your whole body, sideways to meet it where it is – and make out with it. Soft kisses at first, all over. Then, bring the tongue in, lightly at first – keeping your lips glued to hers, literally just like you were kissing her real mouth. Let the tongue go deeper, suck the clit, its shaft and hood in and out of your mouth (remember the clit is at the top and missing the spot will ruin the whole thing). Sink your tongue inside her. She’s so soft and warm. Go from light and easy to deep, strong kissing – teasing her, letting her excitement rise and fall, but ultimately building. Please note that many women don’t enjoy or can’t tolerate hardcore sensations for too long. It can be too much and actually cause pain or numbness so make sure you are open to her signals of pull away or gently pushing you in a different direction.

4. Watch, listen and feel

All women are different and we will change want we want from one session to the next so please remember that it’s part of the process as giver to watch, listen and feel what’s going on with her. When you’re doing something right, her body will rise and writhe, she might tremble or shake, she’ll get wetter and wetter, she’ll moan, pant, scream, tell you what to do (“harder, more, do that other thing again”), grab your head and pull it in deeper. Or? You’ve got her laying there fairly motionless or trying to pull away. If that’s happening, you need to read this again (or better yet, talk to her and find out what she wants.)

5. Use your tongue in different ways

Your tongue feels very different depending on how you use it. There are really two options – you can point it, using the hard tip, or you can keep it flat and soft, but hey if you can role your tongue and show any additional talents you may have, then go for it.

6. Check in with her

Ask what she likes, if that’s the spot (many men just go too low). Just a penis enlarges as the blood rush down so does a clit. It becomes engorged and larger, when it does she may be ready for you to get a bit more hard and heavy. The clit isn’t just a little button floating near the pussy. The button is connected to a shaft – much like the penis and goes deep into the woman. It’s incredibly stimulating to have a finger on each side of the shaft rubbing up and down or from side to side or doing little circles – just as you’d like you would a penis.

7. Be patient and use the art of sensuality

How long will it take, well how long is a piece of string. Who knows and trust me it will change each time. If you give a woman the time of her life, she will be thinking about and the next time she might experience such pleasure so it may end up being a quickie as her mind has already gotten her there before you start. The art of sensuality involves teasing, changing your pace, bringing her to the edge and taking the prize away until you really think she deserves it.

8. Add some fingers or a toy

Some women really love and need penetration to achieve orgasm but don’t assume, ask. If this is the case with your woman, add fingers or a dildo to the mix – matching the rhythm of your tongue on her clit to the thrusts of the penetrating tool. This feels like two lots of attention and you may be fulfilling a fantasy of a threesome without the need for another person.

Are you an expert at licking her out? Share your tips on how to pleasure her in the comments section below.

How are real estate and swinging/alternate lifestyles linked you ask?

It all comes down to relationship “fixes”. There are no quick or easy fixes but buying a new house, having a baby or looking into swinging or any type of lifestyle change are just a few relationship fixes that many people try in order to save a relationship in trouble.  They usually end in destroying it with the only one’s winning being the real estate agents and lawyers when divorce time comes.

None of these things are going to fix a relationship in fact unless your relationship is rock solid you shouldn’t even consider any of them.  I’ve been in both real estate and counselling for over 15 years and see the damage done time and time again.

So let’s take a closer look at what you need to consider when thinking about swinging or opening up your relationship to involve other people in any way

Do get on the same page

Consider your motivation and how you are going to bring it up with your partner, you are going to want to make them feel good about it not that they are not good enough. Deal with all your concerns and hesitations upfront no matter how small or insignificant they might seem.  Guys this will involve a lot of talking you may not deem necessary or like but it really is essential, so be patient.

Do your homework.

 

There are lots of ways to get information about alternative lifestyles, spend some time on the internet, go to a munch or two (alternative lifestyle friendly get togethers generally in ‘vanilla’ environments) and speak with other couples already in an alternative lifestyle, get things into perspective and re-evaluate based on what you learn.

Do go slow, agree to a trial period first with firm boundaries

 

Discuss Who/how/when/where will meets be arranged and happen.
What sexual acts are OK for each person, think about group, swap or individual scenarios.
Try some low expectation / low pressure environments like a house party, drinks with a couple or go to a classy club first.

Do walk through some what-if scenarios, separately and together

 

Be prepared to deal with it if it doesn’t work out. A good way to do this might be to go through some ‘what if’ scenarios like:
What if my partner gets jealous.
What if I go through with it and my partner doesn’t.
What if one partner is attracted to someone else on a deeper level.
What if one or both has a bad experience.

It’s  good to have an idea of how you might react.

Don’t use non-monogamy as a way to delay breaking up

If your relationship is not going well and you are fighting now just isn’t the time, get some help to work out your issues before even considering it as this won’t  fix a thing.

Use as a crutch to prolong ending a relationship that you know isn’t working and you are considering breaking up, you have to close one door to allow other doors to be open to you.

My way or the highway just isn’t going to work here, you need to be flexible and really consider your partners point of view, boundaries and thoughts on your relationship and what is and isn’t going to work, they may be very different from yours.

Break any agreed rules or lie about what you are doing, trust me it will not end well.

 

Final words on the matter:

Forget location, location, location and think communication, communication, communication.  Alternative lifestyles take work, time and must be a team effort.  Respect each other as well as protecting your main relationship. This must be your top priority.  If the experience is not enhancing your relationship then it just shouldn’t be a part of it.  Some things may just need to remain fantasies. Often fantasies don’t turn out as well as you might imagine in reality, so be prepared.  Life isn’t like porn, so always keep it real.

There are professionals that are ‘lifestyle’ friendly.  Consider seeing someone who can facilitate the discussion and decision process and maybe check in with from time to time to make sure things really are what you perceive them to be.

Most of all have fun, try new things and use the lifestyle to grow as a couple.

Have anything else to add? Tell us in the comments section below!